"Sorry ", Kazuya instinctively blurted out , turning back.
The young woman whom he had accidentally bumped into ,waved away his apology and smiled at him before walking away .
"Get a hold of yourself ", Kazuya told himself as he continued to weave in and out of the crowd of people waiting at the bus stand .
Kazuya had just gotten off the bus after seeing off Ruka and now he was walking back to his apartment .
Walking was maybe a generous description.
Stumbling would be more accurate, as Kazuya seemed to almost be hunched over with the weight of what had transpired barely a couple of hours back .
The image of the young woman he had bumped into popped back into Kazuya's head involuntarily.
Her hair was a bit longer and she didn't have a ribbon but somehow her face was eerily similar to Ruka's
Or maybe it was his imagination.
It was almost like Fate was mocking him. Gleefully giggling as it added to his guilt ,
Almost like a last act of kindness, Ruka had tried to spare him the image of her breaking down.
The second she had felt it coming, she had done her utmost to turn and run before he could see it , but it had proved to be futile .
He had seen it .
Ruka's heart shattering in front of his eyes.
Fate cackled again as it reminded him of the heart he had broken .
He clenched his fist and forced himself onward.
Soon Kazuya was climbing up those rickety old steps, and standing on the landing but before he could take another step, the door next to his swung open and he saw Chizuru peering out .
The second she realized it was him, a worried smile broke out on her face .
She stepped out and came closer to him , scanning his face with those discerning eyes .
Kazuya could instantly tell that she had realized how he was feeling.
"Are you okay ?", she asked tenderly .
Kazuya sighed before responding with a mixture of a shake and a nod of his head .
She nodded knowingly .
Suddenly something about Chizuru stuck Kazuya.
For a couple of seconds he couldn't figure out what it was but then he realized that she had her hands behind her back . She was also constantly tugging the end of her sleeves almost like she was trying to hide something.
"So why don't you ... ", Chizuru started to say but Kazuya interrupted her .
"What happened to your hand ? ", he asked .
Immediately he knew he was right . Fear flashed through Chizuru's face .
He could see her trying to think of something and before she could , he softly told her,
"Please Chizuru , tell me " .
He met her eyes and refused to look away as he asked . He saw in her eyes, not just fear but a little guilt and shame as well but eventually she stretched out her left hand .
Kazuya gasped as he saw it .
Three of her fingers now had band-aids on them.
He looked back at her and then at the right hand still behind her back .
Wordlessly she pulled up the right sleeve and Kazuya gasped again, as he saw an angry red patch of skin on her forearm .
He looked back at her and obviously she could see the pain growing on his face because immediately she started to explain,
"No,don't worry I'm fine . Nothing happened. I was just cooking and I... messed up . I wasn't paying attention and accidentally cut myself.
And this is just a mild burn , I forgot the pan was hot and accidentally brushed up against it .
That's all . I was just a klutz . There's no need to.."
Chizuru's explanation ended in a yelp as suddenly Kazuya stepped forward and took her in his arms .
It had hit him like a flash of lightning. As soon as Chizuru started explaining, he could see it.
He could see Chizuru toiling away in the kitchen , worry and fear etched on her face .
Worried for him .
Afraid for herself.
Afraid of the decisions he would make.
And immediately he knew what had consumed her attention and led to her wounds .
They were accidental but they were his fault.
"I'm so sorry ", he whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke.
"I'm such a horrible person. I left my girlfriend alone and went to take care of another girl.
I worried about her and her feelings and making sure she was alright but I didn't stop to think about how it made you feel.
I made you feel so bad .I made you worry so much that you ended up accidentally hurting yourself
I should have said something . I should have reassured you that I don't have feelings for Ruka. I should have made it clear that you are the only one I love .
I should have ... I should have done something .
I'm so sorry.
I'm such a worthless piece of trash " .
Chizuru's heart stung as she felt the pain of the man she loved, unable to do or say anything as his voice cracked with pain and guilt .
But that last line, that last line of his ...
That made her heart bleed .
"I've been so stupid ", she realized.
"I was jealous all along. That's what this uncomfortable feeling was .
I was jealous. Afraid.
And stupid .
I had no reason to worry.
But I ended up causing Kazuya pain .
I just got scratches myself .
But he... Kazuya was really hurt. "
She had known all along from the first time , almost two years ago, he had spoken from the heart, how he saw himself .
"A worthless piece of trash " .
And she knew she had made him feel like that again.
She could feel his arms around her , he was clinging to her desperately.
She slowly slipped her arms around his and laid her face gently on his chest , feeling that strong warm heart that had thawed the ice in her veins.
"He's waited so long for me . And trusted me so much . And he's always ...
He deserves more
I owe more to him .
I have to do better " , she decided.
She withdrew her hands from around him before placing them on his face, pulling herself up and kissing him gently on his cheek.
A little colour started to spread, from the point where her lips had caressed his cheek , to all over his face, finally breaking that mask of sadness that had been over him since he had come back.
"Now I want you to listen to me , okay? ", she told him firmly.
"That's not at all what you are .
You're amazing and I'm so lucky to have you in my life.
I'm the one who should be sorry.
I'm sorry for not trusting you and for not talking to you.
That's on me ,okay? "
He tried to argue but was won over by the determination in her eyes and begrudgingly nodded .
"Good ", she stated and proceeded to order him,
"Now I want you to take a shower, change and then come right over, okay? "
Kazuya nodded again and smiled faintly before turning into his apartment.
Chizuru walked back slowly into her apartment, checking on the food that she had spent the evening preparing and tidying up the kitchen.
She could hear the shower running in his apartment and that ball of guilt in her chest tightened around her heart again .
That look on his face flashed in her mind, a look of hopelessness that she hadn't seen since they met each other.
"I will cheer him up ", she resolved.
A few minutes later , Kazuya walked in just as Chizuru had finished clearing her table and setting two cushions next to each other.
She looked up and smiled again as she heard his footsteps but was surprised to see him holding a small box .
He sat down wordlessly and tugged on her hand , pulling her down alongside him .
He then opened the box, revealing it to be his first aid kit.
Chizuru immediately understood and the realization made her cheeks redden just a bit before she pulled up both her sleeved and stretched out her hands.
He placed them carefully on his lap before peeling away the bandaids on her fingers , cleaning the cuts and fixing new bandaids .
He then applied some burn ointment on her forearm, as gently as possible, watching her face intently, making sure that he wasn't causing her the slightest pain.
Chizuru felt her heart dancing as she felt herself being enveloped by Kazuya's love for her.
She honestly could not remember having ever felt like that before . Even though she had known her grandparents love for her , even though they had taken care of her, comforted her and tended to her as Kazuya was now doing, Chizuru knew that this was the first time she was feeling like this.
After he was done , she glanced at her hands . The stinging burn and the tingling cuts could no longer be felt .
"The cuts will heal soon but I'll keep applying the ointment for your burn for a couple more days ", he told her.
"Thank you ", she replied quietly, before continuing, a little louder ,
"It was my own fault anyway . I should have been more careful. And ... I should have told you how I was feeling. "
"No " , Kazuya replied
"I messed up. I should have noticed . I should have... "
His voice faltered when he saw the expression on her face .
Chizuru stared at him with the determination that he had taught her and spoke ,
"We both messed up today , agree ? "
Kazuya opened his mouth seemingly to disagree but then closed it immediately before nodding and replying ,
"Okay " .
Chizuru smiled and they sat next to each other quietly for a few minutes allowing some of the weight of the day to leave them .
She then got up and told him ,
"Just wait a minute, I'll bring dinner and then we can talk " .
Kazuya nodded but before she could go to the kitchen he asked her,
"Can I help? "
She sighed softly before relenting and telling him,
"You can lay the table ,okay? But that's it. After that you sit down and wait quietly ".
He nodded again and jumped up , grabbing everything Chizuru asked him to and then set the table .
Chizuru walked into the kitchen , put the finishing touches on the food , before covering it and slowly carrying it out and placing it on the table where an already much happier Kazuya was waiting eagerly .
"What is it ? ", he asked excitedly staring at the large vessel of food .
Chizuru smiled before taking off the cover and revealing large portions of meat , seafood and vegetables swimming in an ocean of steaming broth .
"You made hotpot ? ", Kazuya asked, amazed .
Chizuru just smiled at him before returning to the kitchen and coming back with a large bowl of noodles and some dipping sauce .
She put everything on the table before sitting down .
"You made all this ?", Kazuya repeated still amazed .
"Mhmm ", she nodded starting to get a little embarrassed by his admiration , turning slightly red in the face before responding,
"I told you I'll make a special dinner for you. So dig in ".
Kazuya nodded enthusiastically, picked up his bowl and sifted through the pot , searching carefully before choosing what he wanted .
Chizuru was about to follow suit when suddenly Kazuya placed the bowl in his hands in front of her.
Surprised she glanced at the bowl and found a couple of the best slices of meat , some mushrooms in there , both of which was barely visible beneath the mountain of crab he had piled on top of them.
"Eh , this is for me ?", she asked
He nodded happily and stated,
"Those are your favorites "
Chizuru's smile grew broader and broader as she watched him fill the other bowl and start to eat , pausing only to add some noodles and sauce to his bowl .
"He's happy again ", Chizuru thought joyfully.
Over the course of the meal , Kazuya slowly told Chizuru about everything that had happened, not leaving out a single detail, only stopping to appreciate Chizuru's cooking.
Chizuru listened intently , not even making a single sound till Kazuya described about how he had explained to Ruka about his feelings for her .
She gasped and turned a crimson red then but allowed Kazuya to continue and finally at the end , she sighed and commented,
"I feel so guilty . About how Ruka-chan must be feeling now . I can't imagine her pain . But ... I can't stop thinking about the choices I made , starting from asking you to date her.
I made things so much worse for her " .
Kazuya sighed as well and replied,
"I feel like that too . I could have told her from the beginning about my real feelings. I could have been more firm with her.
She's just a high school kid . She was so excited and happy when we started .
But now ... "
Kazuya stopped for a few seconds ,looked directly at Chizuru and continued ,
"I don't regret my feelings for you . I don't regret choosing you. Not at all .
But ... I could have done all this so much better "
Chizuru nodded slowly before speaking,
"I hope ... I get the chance to apologize to Ruka-chan one day " .
She reached out and squeezed his hand while they sat silent for a few minutes before Chizuru got up and started clearing the now empty bowls .
Kazuya insisted on helping her and so they worked in silence, washing the dishes and putting them away .
She then pulled out a tray of freshly baked brownies from the oven, put a couple each in two bowls , topped them with vanilla ice cream and handed one to Kazuya.
They both sat down on her couch and slowly began on their dessert , Kazuya adding more praise to the ones Chizuru had already received for her cooking.
The cold winter started to make its presence felt , aided by the ice cream and and so Chizuru pulled out a large blanket and covered their feet with it
"Isn't it way too cold for ice cream ", he asked her jokingly.
"Well , we drank tons of steaming hot broth so we should be fine ", she replied haughtily.
After a few quite mouthfuls, Chizuru suddenly asked him , becoming serious once again,
"So ultimately your family knows or at least has a very good idea about Ruka-chan right? She also confirmed it ? "
Kazuya nodded , recognizing the need for that question.
"This is pretty bad ", she muttered.
" I mean all they know is that we lied to them about Ruka-chan. But thats enough for your family to be suspicious.
And you already tried to convince them otherwise but they wouldn't have it .
Despite what your mom said the other day , there's no way that this isn't going to explode in our faces ".
Kazuya sighed and added ,
"Yeah but at least they know I..." ,his voice suddenly trailed off as he remembered that he hadn't quite told Chizuru the entire story yet .
"What ? What else do they know ?" , she asked.
Kazuya was silent ,unsure of how exactly to tell her what he had told his family that day .
"What's wrong ? Tell me ", she insisted gazing at him with those intense brown eyes within which worry had firmly crept in
Kazuya exhaled slowly and began,
"Look ,I'm sorry but I left out some of what happened " .
"What ? Why ? ", she asked taken back by his words .
"It... It wasn't because I was trying to deceive you, I just didn't know how to... "
"It's fine, just tell me now ", she interrupted .
Kazuya took a few deep breaths before he slowly revealed what he'd said ,
"I... told them that I love you " .
The worry that had been on Chizuru's face drained out and almost instantaneously she was flooded with deep red instead .
"H..Huh... wh...why...", her voice trailed off but her mouth stayed open .
Kazuya gathered his courage and explained,
"Grandma ... they thought that I didn't love you. That I had been manipulating you all along to get what I wanted and that I had been running around with Ruka-chan behind your back .
They thought that I didn't care about you at all .
And ..", Kazuya hesitated for a second or two ,looking away from Chizuru before he pushed on,
"I got really mad and stood up and shouted that I hadn't done anything with Ruka-chan, that I didn't have feelings for her and that I was whatever I had with her anyway .
And ... I shouted out aloud that I love you ".
He stopped after that and after a minute or so cautiously looked at her again and found her staring at her toes , wordless ,nor saying anything.
But quite clearly overcome with emotion.
Kazuya waited silently and after ten minutes or so , Chizuru slowly shifted closer him and whispered almost indiscernably quietly, her voice faltering even as she said it ,but her gratitude and emotion almost palpable ,
"Thank you so much, Kazuya.
I know how much your family means to you .
But you stood up to them for me .
That means ... so much ... so much .
And as long as your family knows that ... "
Unable to say anything more , Chizuru slowly rested her head on Kazuya's shoulder, but Kazuya understood her unspoken words perfectly.
"As long as your family knows that, we'll be safe .
We'll be happy .
We'll be together ".
A/N: And so an emotional arc comes to an end . An arc that pained Kazuya and Chizuru and tested their relationship but one that ultimately strengthened them .
Next Time : An Impromptu Date .