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Chapter 8: Family Reunion

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A/N: Looks like something went wrong when I uploaded the chapter earlier. Here it is again, hopefully better.
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A2 stared at the newest member of their home. The goat stared back before going back to chewing on the couch.

A2 continued to stare at the ungulate, or rather, at the specially designed saddle upon its back, where baby Alex sat and giggled, patting the goat's horns.

"Why is there is a goat in our house? And why is Alexander riding him?" she asked, turning her attention to Emil and Sebastian, who shuffled a bit in fear.

"I thought it would be a good idea to have a decent source of milk for Alexander until the FPS was completed," Sebastian replied nervously. "Records, and fragments of Emil's memories, informed us that goat milk was extremely nutritious. So, we kidnapped a goat."

Hatchet began chuckling, before wilting as A2 turned her attention to him.

"What? It's funny. You know, 'kidnapping,' and a baby goat is called a 'kid'…" Hatchet said, before trailing off under the unimpressed deadpan of the elite combat gynoid.

"Fine. But you will be in charge of taking care of it while it lives with us," A2 finally decreed, turning back to the S-Model.

"Of course. By the way, how did the retrieval mission go? Did you acquire the part?" Sebastian asked after suppressing a grin.

"Indeed. It was difficult, as there were more enemies to eliminate than expected, but we managed. Once 2B and 9S return, we can make the Food Processor. And then Alexander will be safe."

She reached out for the baby in question, plucking him from the goat's back. A whimper escaped him as he was removed from his comfy, mobile throne. Tears soon began to fly as he wailed. Emil and Sebastian winced at the harsh sound, while Hatchet sighed and strode off to his work station to do prep work, fiddling with his audio feed as he went.

"Shhh! Shhh, it's alright! It's me!" A2 gasped, quickly rocking Alexander back and forth in her arms. The sobs subsided after a while, and he cuddled into the android's chest.

"Did he behave himself while we were gone?" A2 inquired, stroking the fluffy head of hair he possessed as he quieted down.

"He was a good boy," Emil assured her. "No problems at all!"

"What about Jackass?"

"She didn't really do anything besides work in her room, go back and forth to the Resistance Base in the desert for a few things, and work some more. She wanted to take samples, but we said no, not unless you were here, as the agreement stipulated," Sebastian revealed. A2 nodded happily at that, before turning to Emil.

"Is she here?"

"No. She just left, in fact. Muttering something about 'cultures,' and 'stingy jerks,'" Emil reported.

"Very well then. And what about 2B and 9S? Where are they?" the senior android inquired, glancing around the room for some sign of her two family(?).

"Haven't returned yet," Emil admitted, a note of worry in his voice.

"What? But they should have been back first! Pascal's village is only a few hours away at best!" A2 said, shocked. Alexander started to tear up as he heard the mood shift.

"I don't know. Wasn't able to raise them on any frequencies. I have considered trying to find a way to build handheld communicators for us to use, because we lack any real method of talking over long distances. It will be risky, though, as rogue machines could pick up the transmissions and home in on our location," Sebastian pointed out.

"That is something to consider," A2 assented.

"I like that idea a lot!"

Everyone whirled around as 9S's voice filled the room. 2B and 9S entered the room, dirty, clothes torn, and clearly exhausted. But, the Scanner victorious held up a machine lifeform part.

"We did it! Pascal didn't have one, so we had to venture off to the Machine Kingdom," 9S explained as he walked over, passing the part to Sebastian before slumping onto the couch.

"Hey, get off of the furniture, you're covered in dirt!" Emil cried, flailing at the young-looking android.

"Oh, come on, Emil, give me a break! 2B and I had to fight through a forest full of machines to get this part, and then we had to evade a YoRHa recon party!" 9S whined.

"YoRHa? Here?" A2 gasped.

"A small group of R-type YoRHa androids appeared in the forest as we were leaving it. They caught sight of us and apparently one of them recognized 9S," 2B informed, shooting said Scanner a dirty look. "They then proceeded to chase us for hours. We had to lose them before we returned here."

"Hey, it's not my fault I have such a recognizable face!" the nerdy shota android complained.

"She recognized your, and I quote, 'cute butt.' Said Recon model then began to wail and cry about you standing her up. Explain that." There was a distinct frosty tone to 2B's voice, and her question was laced with killing intent.

Emil wisely backed away from the doomed shota-bot, and 9S gulped down a bit of terror.

"Well, you see, 2B, 13R and I used to work together before I was assigned to you. I asked her out on a date. But, before I could make good on the promise, I was called back to the Bunker and reassigned to you. Honestly, I thought she would have forgotten the whole thing," 9S said with a weak laugh.

"Interesting. And her claims that you promised to marry her and stood her up at the altar?"

Now there was a noticeable chill in the air, and sparks were flying off of 2B. Literally. Her weapon was glowing and energy was coursing along its blade.

"Um, funny story about that!" 9S gasped out, terrified for his life. "I may have, by accident, proposed to her?"

2B took a step forward, reaching for her blade.

"I found an old, tarnished jewelry ring in a ruin one day while with her, and gave it to her as a present! I only discovered that that was a human mating ritual when 21O told me about it later!" 9S exclaimed, pressing up against the couch in an effort to see if he could meld with the furniture to evade her wrath.

"And?"

"And the placed I had planned to take her out on a date was an old human church! Again, I only learned that humans got married in those places after the fact!"

"I don't get it. Why is 2B so angry with Nines about accidentally marrying another android?" Sebastian whispered to Emil and A2.

"Oh, those two are totally in love with each other, they just don't want to admit it," Emil whispered back. A2 nodded in agreement. "And the hilarious part is, neither of them realize they both like each other, so they keep dancing around the issue!"

Emil snickered. "I sort of remember something like this with my first friends! One of them loved this guy, but he was into her sister, while she was not interested, and then there was this other girl who wanted to get with him, and then I had a fling with his sick daughter… it was a lot of fun!"

A2 and Sebastian looked at the bizarre bone-boy with confused looks before glancing back at the arguing 'couple.'

"Should we try and stop them?" Sebastian asked after a moment, eyeing 2B's sharp sword that was about to be drawn.

"Probably," A2 said noncommittally, before turning back to the adorableness in her arms.

"Are we going to?"

"Only if they start breaking things."

"They better not wreck the couch, that took me hours to build!" Emil said angrily.

"Come on, 2B, it's not that big of a deal!" 9S pleaded, trying to keep the furious gynoid from slicing him apart. "Look, I'll make it up to you! We can go on a date of our own?"

"And you won't stand me up like you did 13R?" she asked, releasing her grip on her weapon.

"I would never do that to you! I lo- respect you too much to do that!" 9S stammered.

"Shoot, almost managed to say it," Emil muttered under his breath with a shake of his head-body.

A hint of pink came to 2B's cheeks and she relented, sheathing her blade and stalking away.

"Tomorrow. 7 pm. The Meat Shack. You're paying. Don't be late," she called over her shoulder.

9S slumped in relief. "Phew! Almost didn't make it!"

At that moment, Jackass walked in. "I'm back, bitches!"

She looked around, seeing the collapsed 9S and the snickering Emil, while A2 held Alexander close, whispering to him.

"You'll never be that incompetent with women, will you, Alexander? No you won't, you'll be a real gentleman! Yes you will! Yes you will! Not at all like silly, blind, can't-get-a-hint Uncle 9S!"

Jackass blinked her one good eye in confusion. "What the hell did I miss?"

"Just some good old fashioned sexual tension," A2 informed, glancing up. "We got all the parts needed, by the way."

"Oh, neat. Well, have fun with that. Almost done with the second round of upgrades for Alexander."

She paused before heading back into her room. "Why is there a goat eating 9S's pants?"

"Wha? Hey, stop that!"

~/~/~/~/~

Mission: Obtain parts for the FPS – Complete!

Side Quest: Obtain a pet for milking – Complete!

Rewards: One functional Food Processor and Sterilizer! A fresh supply of tasty goat milk! And a date for 9S!