A/N : 50 chapters up , I've tried to reflect on it for a week but I'm still speechless .
Resonance was never meant to be this long , I'd planned for about 12 maybe 15 chapters , but it grew from there and continues to grow .
What makes Resonance really special to me more than my 3 other fanfics is that rather than having a specific plot or premise , Resonance is a story of what I wanted to see , a story of some of my deepest desires about KanoKari.
The fact that a story like this could receive so much praise and support and could be enjoyed by all of you is really something that I still find unbelievable
Thank you to everyone who's been here ,whether you were there for the first chapter or you started now, all of your support is appreciated and means so much , especially during thr periods when I have to take breaks .
Like I mentioned in the last chapter, Resonance isn't done yet , there are more chapters to go ,more loose threads to be resolved and I hope everyone who reads this story continues to enjoy it till the end .
Thanks once again to everyone.
Here's Chapter 50 , have a great read .
They'd found a place to wash the sand and sea water off , they'd bought towels to dry themselves off but once the cover of darkness fell , Kazuya and Chizuru were shivering in the wind till they finally reached the ryokan .
Fuyuko , who was once again at the reception , raised an eyebrow at them before gesturing towards the steaming pot of tea on the counter.
Gratefully , Kazuya and Chizuru poured themselves a cup each and nearly burnt their tongues but barely noticed as the tea seemed to melt the ice off their bones and they sighed in relief
"Please avoid going into the sea if possible" , Fuyuko advised them, politely before they explained that it had been an accident, Chizuru especially was rather indignant in her response .
Fuyuko nodded before continuing ,
"Please be careful though, it is unfortunately very easy to come down with a fever ".
She paused for a few seconds before proposing,
"If you don't mind me suggesting once again, our hot springs is open now .
I highly recommend it , it's very therapeutic and would heat you both up in no time "
They glanced at each other only for half a second before nodding in affirmation.
Barely ten minutes later ( they'd stopped by their room to change into slippers and grab their complimentary yukatas ) Kazuya and Chizuru were being led to the hot spring , not by Fuyuko who had something to take care off , but her mother instead who was more than delighted to have the opportunity to "find out what young people get up to these days " , as she put it .
Of course her questions were more about them , particularly the details of how long they'd been together, how they'd met and so on .
Kazuya had barely managed to sputter out some vague answers for the first two but had nearly choked when Hibiki-san asked him ,
"So , how many times have you two kissed ? "
Chizuru had turned quite red herself but managed to answer with her resolute restraint and practiced smile ,
"Oh , several times " .
Hibiki-san did not stop there, taking Chizuru's answer as invitation and went on , Chizuru growing redder and redder, her answers becoming more and more stammered till finally she asked Chizuru ,
"Where does he hold you when ..."
Desperately Chizuru turned back to Kazuya, all her composure now gone , with an expression on her face that could only be interpreted as ,
"Help me " .
Kazuya who had grown incoherent as the questions had gone on , now tried to and succeeded in distracting the older woman with questions about the resort till finally they reached the hot springs entrance
Hibiki-san entered first and quickly gave them towels , shampoo , soap and other amenities before gesturing towards the locker rooms which were on either side of the door past which the hot springs lied .
It was then that Chizuru noticed
"Umm , Hibiki-san ? ", she asked
"Is this hot spring for men and women , there seems to be only one ? "
The older woman turned around and answered with an unmistakable glint in her eyes ,
"Why , it's a mixed bath , of course "
"M..Mixed ? ", Chizuru squeaked .
Kazuya, on the other hand , had dropped everything he had been holding on the floor as he echoed ,
"Mixed ? "
"Yes , that's what I said ", Hibiki-san affirmed , unhesitatingly.
"Mixed ? ", Kazuya repeated almost obtusely before stammering,
"B.. but we ... ".
"There'll be other people , won't there?" , Chizuru blurted out ,
"S... so it'd be a bit ..
"Oh no need to worry", Hibiki-san assured them.
"We have a larger hot springs on the other side of the building not to mention two other smaller mixed baths like this one .
And just to make sure you two have your privacy ".
The older woman opened a cupboard behind the entrance counter and pulled out a yellow standing sign which read ,
"No entry "
"I'll place this outside ", she confirmed .
They tried to protest but she paid no heed to them as she stepped outside .
For a minute or two they were silent unable to speak , unable to contemplate the situation they were in .
Then Kazuya began to blabber ,
"It's... It's all right , Chizuru. You can go first and after you finish, I can ... "
His voice trailed off and the silence returned .
Of course , they didn't have to do what Hibiki-san had suggested, they were not locked in or trapped in any way or form . Just like Kazuya had suggested they could bathe separately or they could just leave , there were several things they could do .
But ... that's not what they'd wanted . Even as they'd walked here , they'd both separately imagined doing something like this , the fantasy had only partly been discarded and even that with an air of wistfulnesss and now that a tantalizing opportunity had presented itself , neither wanted to say no .
But neither knew how to say yes either .
And so they stood in silence for five , maybe ten minutes till Kazuya coughed
Chizuru turned to him, almost instinctively patting his back but somehow ended up just resting her hand there .
She turned her gaze to the floor before whispering,
"At this rate , we'll both end up getting sick "
Kazuya didn't know how he did it but he managed to reply ,
"Maybe ... maybe we should go in then ".
Five minutes later ,
Kazuya, sat on the stool in the washing area just in front of the spring . The steam that filled the room seemed to revitalize him but even the heat wasn't enough to convince him that this was real .
"This isn't happening, right ? ", he told himself.
"There's no way I'm in a hot spring wearing only a towel around my waist ... and Chizuru is going to walk through those doors any ..."
Exactly then he heard the door open and the sound of soft footsteps entering .
Instinctively, he closed his eyes and turned away slightly , grabbing the handheld shower head and spraying himself with hot water .
Suddenly he heard her squeal and immediately he got up , yelling out ,
"Chizuru, are you okay " .
"Yeah I'm fine ", she replied.
He tried not to but her voice drew his eyes open , pulled his gaze towards her .
He could just about make her out , the steam was almost blinding him , but her figure was unmistakable.
"I had to take off my contacts and between that and all the steam , I can barely see ", she explained .
"Hold on then , I'll help you ", he told her .
He was embarrassed but he wasn't going to let her stumble around on her own and so he swallowed nervously and walked towards her as cautiously as possible.
He could almost hear her breath stiffen as he approached but ignoring the sudden weakness in his legs , he stretched out his hand gently and caught her shoulder .
He felt her wrap her hand around him as he turned and walked slowly to the washing area before he helped her sit down .
He debated whether or not to leave a couple of stools in between them but the combination of a sudden moment of daring and Chizuru tapping the stool next to her(or at least that's what he chose to interpret that as , though it could have been her just getting her bearings) led to Kazuya sitting down next to her .
Almost instantly the steam seemed to clear but only around them almost like someone had done it on purpose.
Kazuya was suddenly acute aware of Chizuru, almost like it had just crossed his mind that she was sitting maybe a couple of feet away from him in nothing but a towel that barely covered her .
She didn't say a word , though, as she reached for the shower head and started washing her hair , however Kazuya could sense that she was as nervous as he was .
"Or maybe even more nervous ", he suspected as he watched her attempt to squeeze out some shampoo into her hand and instead spill it on the floor .
She tried again and when nothing came out this time , she turned ,just slightly towards him and asked for his shampoo .
Kazuya nodded and picked up his bottle and was about to give it to her but the sight of her slightly quivering hand made him pause , her nervousness somehow pushing his away as that ability of his, to rise above his fears and faults for her sake , awakened once again .
"I have to do something ", he decided .
"Otherwise , we'd be too nervous to enjoy ourselves.
And this might be the only chance we get .
Especially after what's happened .
Especially after I messed up .
I ... I have to make sure Chizuru enjoys herself .
I have to take care of her ... just a little bit atleast".
She'd started to reach out for the bottle herself but before she could , Kazuya blurted out ,
"Can I do it ? "
"Do what ? ", she asked, confused .
He swallowed firmly, working up the nerve , before asking ,
"Can I wash your hair for you ? "
She whipped around immediately barely making a coherent sound as red flamed across her cheeks.
Kazuya didn't waver or blink and so after a few seconds she nodded with a nervous smile .
Before Kazuya could even respond, she moved closer towards him ,bending just a bit , in front of him to make the task easier for him .
Kazuya squeezed out some shampoo and gently started massaging it into her hair .
It barely took a few seconds,before he could visibly feel her relax , her muscles loosening , her breathing becoming softer , her sighs of relief all attesting to that fact .
She was soon even humming contentedly ,almost in rhythm to his gentle touch .
Kazuya smiled , flushed with success but also more than a little self contentment as he began to wash the shampoo off
"Guess Hibiki-san helped out after all ", he thought to himself, just before Chizuru mumbled something.
"Did you say something ? ", Kazuya asked her , as he handed her another towel .
"I was just thinking ", she answered as she dried her hair .
"Hibiki-san reminds me of your Grandma "
"Huh ", Kazuya reacted before thinking about it for a second.
"You're right ", he exploded.
"I can't believe I hadn't picked up on that ".
Chizuru laughed softly as she tied her hair .
Once she was done , she turned back to him and told him ,
"Ok turn around " .
"Eh ? Why ? ", Kazuya asked .
"It's my turn ", she explained , her smile becoming slightly flustered but no less demanding .
Kazuya obeyed and turned around, unsure of what was happening but soon had his answer as he felt water sprayed on his back followed by her soft hands gently massaging his back , applying soap over every contour and surface before washing it away and wiping it dry.
Through every second of it , Kazuya's heart had pounded so hard against his chest that by the end of it he had to check if he'd cracked his ribs .
He'd been so nervous and so taken back that he hadn't uttered a sound through it but now that she was done , he glanced back at her .
He found the same pride and the same happiness and the same contentment that he'd felt too , she wasn't just mirroring his emotions , she was sharing in them , she'd been a part of it, in both positions and that left Kazuya feeling so blessed that al he could say was,
"Thanks ".
It hadn't been planned or thought up ,it was just pure emotion , pure gratitude that she was there , in that moment, with him .
She smiled back and he could see the embarrassment in the corner of her smile, a little bit of fear even at how far they were going but also her overriding strength , which allowed her to accept his feelings and return them .
They both stood up at the same time , they didn't really exchange any words but Kazuya stretched out his hand and Chizuru reached out at the same time and once she'd caught hold of him , they walked into the hot spring .
"Wait , wait , wait ", Chizuru desperately thought to herself .
"Are we really doing this ?
Are we really headed in... together? "
Despite the doubts in her mind , she didn't miss a single step as she allowed Kazuya to guide her in .
"Isn't this too big a step ? Isn't this too much ... "
She watched Kazuya move in front , gently pulling her along . She watched as he unwaveringly moved forward , as he didn't hesitate even for a second .
Like he wasn't afraid even a bit .
But she knew he was . Or at least he had been.
Even through her impaired vision , she had seen how Kazuya had determinedly looked away from her as he'd guided her to the washing area ,how he'd nearly sat away from her till she'd tapped the stool next to her ,how she'd felt the slightest of tremors in his hands as he'd massaged her hair , she'd seen the panic on his face when she'd asked him to turn around , she'd felt him recoil and squirm under her touch as she'd begun .
But she'd also felt how certain he'd been after that, how comfortable he'd been , that look on his face had told her everything ... he'd accepted what was going to happen and he'd prepared himself. And now he was leading herself .
"How does he do this ? ", she marveled, a smile forming on her face .
"Where does this strength come from , this ability to deal with anything ?
He's the complete opposite of me who can't deal with anything.
He really is ...so ... "
Kazuya stopped , interrupting her thoughts. He paused for a second, which Chizuru felt was more for her sake than his , before he pulled off his towel and stepped into the bath .
She was glad that his back was to her , it didn't matter that she hadn't looked ...at him , she was blushing furiously.
He walked slowly to the other end of the spring and waited, unmovingly .
Waiting ... , she knew for her.
Her breath quickened just a bit as she accepted the fact that no matter how scared she was of this moment ... there was no chance of her not following him .
For so much of their relationship, she'd turned her back on him and had walked away, she hadn't even waited, but he'd had run after her . Day after day , without even entertaining the thought of giving up , no matter how hopeless it had seemed, he'd chased her .
She knew that if the roles had been reversed, she would have given up , that if she had to chase him , she wouldn't have.
But now , today , even if it wasn't the same even if today's actions were of a completely different nature and of overcoming embarrassment more than anything, still ... his strength had a way of infecting her .
Her heart seemed to pound more and more but her hand slowly traced its way to her chest where she'd tied the towel , she slowly loosened the knot and freed her towel before stepping in .
She walked up next to him before turning around and leaning back , bending slightly allowing her body to be soaked in the steaming hot water . She closed her eyes exhaled slowly which turned into a deep sigh .
It was perfect... almost .
Beside her , she could feel Kazuya shifting , fidgeting just a bit , as he too turned around, leaned back and submerged himself .
She sent her hand searching in the water looking for him , he seemed to have the same idea because their hands bumped into each other before they intertwined their fingers .
Chizuru opened her eyes and gazed upwards .
Now it was perfect .
"Thank you " , she whispered.
She could see him gazing at her through the corner of her eyes , she turned towards him and watched his warm eyes scan her face and expression till he smiled in that manner that always gave her butterflies in her stomach .
She could see him understand the unspoken words ,what she was saying thank you for , just like she'd understood him .
"You're amazing ", she told him , softly.
"Huh ? ", he asked surprised.
"Why all of a sudden ? "
"I was already thinking it ", she began to answer before smiling .
"If I'm being honest, I think it to myself quite a lot but I probably haven't said it often enough.
So now when I thought it , I wanted to say it " .
He paused to smile back before starting,
"You're ama... "
"Stop it ", she interrupted him , playfully scolding him .
"Let me just praise you this one time without you saying anything " .
He tried to open his mouth again but Chizuru squeezed his hand hard and so he fell silent for a few minutes.
But once she'd let down her guard ,he told her ,
"You're amazing , Chizuru " .
She turned scarlet red , glad for his praise and embarrassed at how easily his words influenced her .
She sighed out loud , almost in defeat .
Chizuru felt his hand squeeze hers almost teasingly and she glanced down at their hands intertwined .
She couldn't help noticing that they were a foot apart .
"I don't even want a centimeter between us"
Her words from that night at the shrine - their night came back to her as she moved closer , lifting his hand out of the way so that she could be right next to him , gently pressing against him .
He didn't squirm or recoil , instead he took her hand with his left and wrapped his right arm around her .
"That's strange ", she thought to herself.
"Kazuya doing something like that, by himself without getting embarrassed at all .
It's strange ... but nice ."
She closed her eyes for a second and couldn't help remembering having the same thought earlier that day .
"Now that I think about it ", she realized.
"All day today , at his apartment, at the beach and now here ...
He's been holding onto me all day .
Is it because of what I asked him that time ? To touch me more ?
Or ... is it because of how much he missed me ?
Her eyes clouded over for just a second as she felt a pang of guilt.
She opened her eyes and looked at his hand around her at his body pressed into hers .
"I should too ", she decided .
She gently lowered her head , resting it on his shoulder , trusting him with her body , depending on him to support her weight .
He trembled for just a fraction of a second as she leaned into him but it was gone in an instant and he held her even more firmly .
"Thank you ", she whispered again , before she closed her eyes again.
And then she felt it . Again .
Heat .
Not the heat of the hot springs .
That heat .
"Ah ... ",she realized
"It's bubbling in me ... again.
It's growing in me ... again . "
Heat
The heat of longing
The rest of the night seemed to pass almost too quickly , they stayed in the hot spring for as long as they could , after returning to their room they enjoyed a wonderful dinner together , along with some sake , before Kazuya raided the vending machine for all the chocolate and candy it had , brought it to their room , pulled out a deck of cards and challenged Chizuru to poker.
"You don't know this ", she'd told him as she accepted his challenge.
"I'm really good at poker " .
"You must have forgotten ", Kazuya had shot back ,
"That your acting skills don't work on me ".
He was proven to be right, Chizuru could barely keep a straight face as they played , she laughed and laughed and laughed , Kazuya was no better but as he put it ,
"This is what you'd expect from me " .
And so it went back and forth , neither of them playing particularly well but having fun , as they won and lost .
As they played game after game , Kazuya and Chizuru who had started at opposite sides of the table crawled closer and closer to each other ,so that before long they were as pressed against each other as they'd been in the hot springs .
And soon it was time for the last game, one last candy bar on the table . Neither of them had kept score and so it was decided that this game would decide the winner .
Chizuru noticed it almost as soon as the game began , Kazuya glancing earnestly at her . She considered calling him out on it but decided against it on second thought .
"It's not like I have a problem with him looking at me ", she thought to herself trying and failing to suppress a delighted smile .
It barely took Kazuya a few seconds after that to win and it was then she realized ,
"You were looking at my cards ", she yelled as Kazuya who howled with laughter before grabbing the candy bar .
Just as he was about to open it , she swiped at the bar which Kazuya dropped .
Chizuru got up to grab it first but she'd been sitting so long , her foot had fallen asleep .
And so she promptly crashed into Kazuya, knocking him to the ground .
Their smile faded from their faces not because either of them was hurt but because of their position , Chizuru lying almost flat on top of Kazuya.
She placed her hands on his chest and propped herself up slightly , just enough to raise her head , as they both stared at each other .
They saw the longing in each others eyes .
And they knew .
"I've been trying ... to figure out how to bring it up ", Kazuya told her , after a couple of minutes .
"Me too ... " , Chizuru admitted.
"Though after all the trouble it took last time , we should know better ".
"Yeah " , Kazuya agreed before adding ,
"Though I would have been a lot more surprised if you or I had come out and said it directly.
But I felt it . "
"Me too ", Chizuru repeated.
"I wanted to , as well .
Back at your apartment , at the beach , at ..:
"At the hot spring " , Kazuya added again .
"Especially then ", she finished.
Kazuya sat up straight , balancing her on his lap
"Kazuya... ", she spoke softly
"My foot's asleep .
Can you ... carry me ? "
Kazuya slipped his arms around her and gently lifted her up , she tightened her grip around his neck , wrapping her legs around him for support.
He carried her to the bed that had been prepared for them before sitting down again, so that she could be on his lap again .
She gently pushed him down , loosening the sash of her yukata as she leaned over him , her hair falling on his face .
He raised his arm and brushed her hair aside , she thought he would stop there but he continued upwards running both his hands along the hair that he'd massaged until he reached her face which he pulled down gently.
All this time , she'd been untying his sash and now that he pulled her into him , she kissed him deeply before once again they gave themselves to each other , not just their bodies , not just their love , everything.
They entrusted each other with everything they had , knowing that they'd be cherished, as they made love to each other as the fire of their flesh met each other , a fire that burned away the ice of the winter , the fire of the love with which their hearts resonated in perfect harmony .
A/N : And so a very special Chapter 50 comes to an end as Kazuya and Chizuru enjoy a steamy yet emotional night at the hot springs and in their room .
Next time : A day out .