As always- Goldielover, Nana - Thank you so much for your reviews and your interest to my poorly translated story! Know that I write for you and the other readers. You give me so much motivation!
Lily
Bad timing was something that seemed to rule Lily's life. It was a thread that ran through her everyday life, that changed her fate again and again and threw all plans over.
For example, you might think that she was very unlucky when she was in the passenger seat of a car that had a collision with a deer. Then, however, she was extremely lucky that this had happened in the Forkser Hospital area and not further north or south so she would have been transferred to Port Angeles County Hospital or another one. Furthermore, it was bad luck that her knee was almost smashed by the airbag in the impact, then it was luck again that Dr. Carlisle Cullen was on duty that one night who was a surgeon and saved her life.
She still did not know if she was the luckiest girl alive or one of the downtrodden.
She hated her broken body. Especially when her bladder was calling and her crutch was at the other end of the room. Of course Carlisle helped her, of course she felt the cool aluminum faster than she could realize. Of course he didn't mind, on the contrary, he even had offered to carry her to the bathroom in the nearest restaurant every time. But it was the dependece that she hated. Still, it was hard to hate something when you caress the cool, smooth skin of a wet dream came true.
She didn't even blush at the thought.
It was just the truth.
Nevertheless, the loss of her independence bothered her.
It was something she had worked hard for. With neither her father nor her mother showing up to be a useful part of her life, she had been more or less on her own. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't proud of it. At the age of 12 she was already able to deal with various administrative procedures, fill out forms or regulate legal matters - mostly eviction suits against her father or complaints.
But this independence also made her lonely.
She was always one step ahead of the others. While her classmates were spending their pocket money on clothes or make-up, she had to divide everything up every month so that she could buy food. She had to hide the money from her father, since everything he found was converted into beer and whiskey in the first week. So it was only natural that her circle of friends would be less than small. If she could even call it that.
And she had been lonely.
Very lonely.
But then came Alex.
At first she resisted his help, but it was the nature of Alex that she didn't even notice his help. He accepted her for who she was. It wasn't hard to see where her suspicions were coming from. Why should she trust someone too lightly? So far everyone has gone away.
Everyone but Carlisle.
Yet.
A little voice in her head still doubted the whole thing and called it a tragic joke and just waited for him to get bored and disappear. Why shouldn't he?
His shirt was worth more than anything she owned; he could have any woman and probably a considerable number of men in this world. Her doubts were reasonable, it was much more difficult to dissuade them. It helped when he looked at her with that look, as if she were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. It helped that his fingers always found their way to her somehow. It helped that his gaze always followed her no matter what she did. Which wasn't much, given her physical condition.
That man that was beauty incarnate, a blonde headed god.
Everything seemed to be going well. Emmett had said that Bella was now hanging out with Jacob Black and that he smelled terribly. A comment she didn't know if it was meant seriously. It was generally hard to know what Emmett was really serious about and what wasn't, as his eyes almost always sparkled playfully and his dimples always appear on his flawless face. He too was really handsome but Carlisle was just downright beautiful. Emmett was someone you would get a crush on, but Carlilse was like a statue from a greek or roman god.
All seemed good and as usual, when things are going well, shits about hitting the fan.
First, Laurent appeared.
A name she was not familiar with but the look on Carlisle's face was reason enough to be scared. Emmett followed his trail, but lost it. He looked more disappointed that he couldn't get his hands on him than that the vampire was gone.
Carlisle was so alarmed by his appearance that one of them was always with her during his absence when he had to hunt. The second went with Carlisle. Surely they would search the area for the vampire but didn't find him. It frustrated everyone present except for Lily. She was glad he was gone. He meant danger, for her, for the two of them, and above all for Carlisle. Even if it was ridiculous to worry about a vampire, the pain of Alex's loss was so deep that she wouldn't survive it a second time. She was sure of that.
Every now and then Emmett kept her company, but he was so restless that Rosalie always relieved him early. Even if he took his job of protecting her seriously, it wasn't hard to see how eager he was to chase Laurent.
So she spent a few evenings with Rosalie.
The start was bumpy.
And that was an understatement.
They stayed silent until Carlisle came back.
It was like a mach, a mach Rosalie wanted to win. Still, she couldn't figure her out.
What did she want? She definitely didn't want to be with her and yet she stood in the hut for hours, looking ridiculously out of place in her expensive branded clothes and flawless appearance and waited silently until Carlisle came.
"You're good for him."
The bell-white voice cut the silence and Lily winced noticeably. Confused, she looked up from her book and was speechless for a moment.
"Who?"
Rosalie rolled her eyes.
"Carlisle."
As if it were the most obvious thing in the world, she looked at Lily with a slightly annoyed expression on her face. Lily had an inkling of what she was talking about, but decided not to give in right away. Rosalie wasn't the only stubborn person in this room.
"I'm good for him? Like vitamins?"
The puffing echoed across the room and Rosalie shook her head. Lily could see under the mask that her show amused her.
"Probably."
Again the silence spread and Lily was tempted to take her book again. She wanted to get along with Rosalie, just for Carlisles sake. She was also grateful that this walking magazine cover model stayed here and protected her. Yet there was still her own pride that wouldn't let her give in.
It was a curse and a blessing .. although she was sure that most of the people she knew would call it a curse.
Rosalie went to the chair that had been pushed up to the small table. Carlisle no longer used it and her everyday life was in bed. Just not in the way she would like, she thought grumpily.
"I've known him for a long time. For a very long time. But I've never seen him so happy."
To Lily's surprise, she sat gracefully on the chair and crossed her legs like a lady. Her stature was graceful and elegant, Lily had not expected otherwise. She raised an eyebrow and looked at Rosalie. She wouldn't take the bait, the vampire knew that too.
"Carlisle said you lost your boyfriend?"
Her voice sounded so casual, like she was talking about the weather and not the most traumatic loss in Lily's life. Immediately she swallowed and her eyes burned. Crying in front of Rosalie wasn't acceptable even given the subject. She swallowed the lump in her throat bravely and nodded. She cleared her throat and prayed her voice wouldn't tremble.
"Alex. Yes."
"You liked him very much?"
The subject seemed to change something in Rosalie. Her arrogance vanished and her face softened. Lily got an idea of the Rosalie that Emmett and Carlisle saw in her.
"Yes, very much."
She chose her words wisely. Should she use the word love, her self-control would suffer massively and that was something she wanted to prevent at all costs. Rosalie seemed to understand and nodded. She averted her gaze and stared out the window at the dark night. Except that it probably wasn't dark for her.
"I've had less luck with men in my human life."
Lily was all ears. It was the first time that Rosalie talked about hersef. She didn't want to interrupt her, as if she were afraid she would scare her off again and push her back into the hard shell.
"My family was always well. My father had a good job, even in times of crisis. My mother was always terribly proud of it. The most important thing for her was that the neighbors admired her. She always put me in display. Bought me expensive clothes and make up and I loved it. I loved the attention. "
She laughed like she was amusing herself at a joke. Lily stared at her. It was evident that Rosalie was probably still much more beautiful as a human than most other women.
"They always wanted more, more money, more influence, just more. I didn't."
She stroked her pants with her perfectly manicured hands.
"I was beautiful and that was enough."
Rosalie craned her head as if she were paying homage to her superficial self.
"My mother had quickly found my future husband. Royce King II. The most coveted Bachelor in town. He noticed me, of course, and sent me roses. I was so .. happy. He asked for my hand and I said yes. Everything was perfect. Everything was as I had always had imagine it. "
She paused again and still seemed to wallow in the memory.
"I had never noticed that he didn't kiss me affectionately. I had never noticed that he wanted nothing more than my body. Another trophy for his collection."
"And one evening, I was going home from a friend. She had just had a baby, a boy. I remembered how in love I was with the idea of my future. I saw myself with children, Royce who came home in the evening, kissing my cheek and eating the dinner I cooked for him. "
Her smile was cold and dead. As if she was making fun of what she had imagined at the time.
"Royce boasted in front of his friends about the beauty of his fiancée, me. They caught me. I struggled as best I could, but they just laughed. When they were done with me, they left me there thinking I was dead. I wanted to die. I waited for death, but it didn't come. Or not as I had expected it. "
Lily was speechless.
She would never have expected anything like this. She was amazed at how emotionless Rosalie's voice was. As if she wasn't telling her own tragic fate.
"Carlisle found me. He probably smelled my blood. He took me with him and changed me."
Rosalie narrowed her eyes. It was clear that she was now talking about something that she had not yet processed, that was still bothering her.
"I hated him for that. Sometimes ... I still do."
Lily caught her breath.
She would never have noticed her aversion, especially when she thought about the way Carlisle was talking about Rosalie. How much he valued and loved her.
"I was angry for a long time. For a very long time. And then ..."
Suddenly a big smile spread on her lips and Lily could see how beautiful she really was. She was breathtaking.
"Then I found Emmett."
Her eyes sparkled and she seemed to be reminiscing. It was obvious how she felt about the giant and how happy he made her despite her past.
"I'm very sorry for all of this."
Lily's voice was soft and honest. She didn't want to imagine what Rosalie had been through, how it must have felt. It was horrible.
Rosalie waved it away, bored.
"I had my revenge."
Her tone was satisfied and Lily nodded. She could well imagine what Rosalie's revenge had looked like.
"You're probably wondering why I'm telling you this."
Lily was actually a bit surprised. To hear such a personal story from someone who otherwise hardly exchanged more than 2 words with her was unusual.
Now she was looking directly at Rosalie, her golden eyes focused and Lily felt a bit like a deer in the headlights
"There will come a time when you will have to choose between your life and Carlisle."
The decision was not difficult for her. Without Carlisle, she had no life .
"You will only think about the things you get. Strength, beauty, Carlisle .. but never forget what you give up. What you lose."
Lily narrowed her eyes. She knew Edward made that decision for Bella. But what would Carlisle do?
As if she could read minds, Rosalie raised her voice again.
"Carlisle would never leave you, whether you became one of us or not. But could you leave him? Could you live knowing that he will follow you after you die?"
Rosalie's words hit her right in the heart. She thought of his reaction when he only thought that she might die in old age. His reaction made sense now, and made even more sense that he couldn't continue to exist with this pain.
"I could never ..."
Lily's voice broke off. Rosalie didn't wait for her but continued to speak.
"That's not the point either. You have a choice, a choice that many of us didn't have. As much as I love Carlisle ... this life is not what I would have chosen for myself. So if you do, you have to be aware of what you are giving up. Because if you don't do that .. "
Her gaze broke again and she looked out the window.
"Then you will blame him forever. It is not in the nature of a vampire to get over a thing like this. So don't think you'll come to terms with it. Because believe me, you don't. You never will. "
Her voice was dead serious and Lily couldn't help but believe her.
Rosalie's words echoed through her head for a long time until Carlisle finally asked what was going on. She stretched her head and looked at him from below. His now bright eyes sparkled with concern and he gently squeezed her shoulder. She let out a deep breath and refreshed herself for a few more seconds in the feeling of what the contact triggered in her.
"Rosalie told me her story."
He didn't seem surprised, yet the worry hadn't faded from his gaze. She knew he was worried, she would blame him for his actions as did Rosalie.
"If there had been another option, I wouldn't have done it."
She nodded immediately.
"I know."
She averted her gaze and played with a button on a shirt.
"But?"
His voice was soft and velvety.
"But I.."
Suddenly Carlisle's body tensed and the door flew open. Emmett was standing in the doorway, in full height, and the playful twinkle was gone from his eyes.
"Edward is with the Volturi. Bella and Alice are on their way there too."
Lily kept repeating the words over and over in her head, but they didn't make any sense. She knew from Carlsile that the Volturi were something like the nobles among the vampires, they established rules that everyone had to abide by. If not .. well you could guess what else happened.
Carlilse froze and Lily sat up. She knew he would never push her off and, as expected, he jumped up immediately.
"Who?"
"Esme called. Alice had a vision of Bella jumping off the cliff and Edward saw it."
Emmett's voice was so rough and serious that Lily immediately understood the seriousness of the situation. Carlisle looked at her briefly and turned his gaze to the wall behind her. She could literally hear the wheels turning in his head.
"Carlisle. What should we do?"
Emmett was getting more restless, she could see the energy pent up in him. At first Laurent had gotten away from him and now he had to stand by when all hell was going on in Italy.
"Nothing. We will wait for more information."
"But-"
"I know Aro. He would never waste a talent like Edward's."
His voice was firm and serious. Lily wondered why, after all these years of existence, he could still see the good in people and other beings.
The answer seemed enough for Emmett, and she could sense the respect and trust Emmett felt for Carlisle. It was impressive.
The waiting was horrible, Lily didn't even want to imagine what it was like for Carlisle. He loved Edward and he loved Bella. Even if he seemed sure, she could see his concern. But it was ... it was almost as if something else was bothering him. Something unrelated to Edward and Bella. Again and again he gave her a guilty look that she could not interpret. His hands automatically found every inch of skin that was exposed and he seemed to calm himself down by doing so.
As expected, Emmett couldn't stand the wait and patrolled the area. She didn't know if he was still looking for Laurent or if he wanted to spy on the wolves. Probably both. Rosalie was with him, she would take care of him should he do something unwise.
Lily looked at the pale, flawless hand that was slowly stroking up and down her forearm. Carlisle was lost in his thoughts and she breathed deeply in and out. She pressed closer to him and his free arm instantly wrapped around her smaller shape. She felt his hard body, cool and unyielding, and enjoyed the feeling of security. In a way, she was glad he hadn't decided to go after them. She only knew these Volturis from his stories but that was enough for her and even if Carlisle had not lost faith in the good, Lily was a little more skeptical. Still, she never expected her name to be mentioned in this ancient city.
She thought about Carlisle question about Sam Uley and her lame excuse. He had dropped the topic instantly, as if he was relieved that they were never an item. Well. He did not ask about Paul Lahote, did he?