Lily
The days leading up to the wedding passed so quickly that Lily had trouble keeping up.
There were moments when she saw everything with an unusual clarity, things she couldn't explain. Things that defied logic but made so much sense that she never doubted them for a second. It was a world of wonders that had opened up for her.
Fascinated, she stared at the surface of the water, the oil of the bath additive shimmering like a thousand tiny rainbows, and she could make out every nuance of color effortlessly.
The water lurched angrily as she lowered herself into the tub to wash off the grime of her last training session with Jasper. The water immediately lost clarity, though she could still see through it with no problem.
Slowly she ran her arms along, her body was the same yet so different. Her skin was soft but still she felt a hardness that was no longer human.
Sighing inwardly, she scraped a particularly stubborn clump of earth from her palm.
She liked Jasper and it was very convenient that he could sense and react to her feelings so quickly.
It was also he who recognized the connection between her power and her emotions.
Especially anger.
But there was also the catch.
She enjoyed nothing more than Carlisle's company and yet it was almost impossible to try her power when he was around. Jasper, in his typical southern accent, said that Carlisle calmed her down and that was counterproductive.
So Carlisle kept his distance, a feeling she didn't like at all.
It made her feel uneasy. And that's where her power came in.
Her discontent quickly turned to frustration and anger.
As fascinating as her power was to the others, it was what kept her away from Carlisle and she didn't like it.
She didn't like it one bit.
The bath water smelled of an artificial rose scent, it was certainly subtle to humans but to her it masked everything.
Almost everything.
It took only seconds for her to recognize the earthy and rich scent. Effortlessly, she was able to place it and felt her mouth tighten into a grin.
"Are you staring again?"
She didn't have to turn around to know he was here.
His laugh sounded so appealing that Lily immediately wanted to leave the tub but she still wasn't clean enough.
"Am I that obvious?"
She shrugged her shoulders and the water moved restlessly again. It was hot, not uncomfortable but she still felt the stark contrast with her body. It was a different kind of heat, not comparable to the heat Carlisle triggered in her.
It took only a few moments for her to feel his nearness and his hands caressing her shoulders devoutly.
"How was practice?"
Again she shrugged her shoulders and leaned back. His grip tightened and even though she was no longer producing lactate and thus her muscles didn't ache, it was still more than comfortable.
"It was okay."
He exhaled continuously and she felt his forehead against the back of her head.
It was in moments like these when she forgot everything.
She forgot what she was, what he was. She forgot the bite, the fear, the pain. She forgot the accident, the grief, her injury. None of that mattered in this moments.
He was here. That was all that mattered.
A mischievous grin spread and she grabbed him by his forearms.
With a loud yip, she launched him into the large tub and she was surprised, as always, at how much stronger she was.
The water splashed and sloshed over the edge. With a loud splash it hit the tile floor and drenched the bathroom.
Esme knew why she had chosen not to use hardwood floors.
Carlisle, unlike her, was fully dressed and his light-colored shirt now clung to him like a second skin.
It was definitely a sight worth seeing.
"What did I do to deserve this?"
His voice sounded incensed, but his bright eyes sparkled with amusement.
Another thing she couldn't get enough of. It was those moments of Carlisle just shedding 350 years and being the 23-year-old man he was. Cocky and playful.
She kissed his pout away and his clothes landed on the floor in a huge puddle with just a few flicks of her wrist.
He was definitely keeping her busy, that much was clear. It seemed like she didn't even have a chance to think about her bizarre existence. As if she wouldn't even get to be overwhelmed by her newly heightened senses.
Still, it was an adjustment.
The thing that probably bothered her the most wasn't the thirst, it was the scarlet glow of her eyes. She looked so scary and strange that she couldn't stand to look at herself in the mirror for long.
"It won't always be like this, I promise."
Carlisle's velvety voice immediately reassured her but when his own reflection appeared in the mirror, she still flinched.
Next to his kind golden eyes, she looked like a monstrosity.
Sighing, his arms wrapped around her. Edward had surely already told him what her thoughts were about. But how could they be otherwise when she saw a bloodthirsty monster in every reflection, accompanied by an angel.
"Are you thirsty?"
She nodded and turned around.
Though she had just satisfied one need, she couldn't wait to tackle it again.
But the thirst was more important.
Lily had quickly realized that it was not a good idea to trick the thirst and quench it with another urge. She became restless, rough, uncontrolled. So she put on the ridiculously beautiful dress Alice had laid out for her.
Totally inappropriate for hunting but she didn't miss the way Carlisle's eyes suddenly darkened when he saw her, so she could live with that.
Thirst was another thing she couldn't really deal with.
It wasn't just the burning sensation in her throat but rather her urge to quench it on a human. She felt the hunger for them and it almost disgusted her. Carlisle, as always, had endless sympathy. It was normal, he had said, it was her nature to want that, after all.
Again she marveled at him and his seemingly endless control. It seemed that the thought of human blood was so absurd to him that he didn't even think about it anymore.
Sure it was an inspiration but she couldn't kid herself, it was also terribly frustrating.
She held his hand as they roamed the forest. She enjoyed the feel of his skin, but as soon as she caught the scent of a herd of deer, she automatically let go.
Apparently there were things stronger than love.
When she was sated she stared down at herself, at least she looked somewhat normal and hadn't made such a bloodbath as last time. Carlisle stared at her in fascination and she imagined her cheeks turning red.
"How much longer?"
A puzzled expression appeared on the noble and beautiful features of his face.
"How long?"
"When will the red go away? When do I stop looking so... monstrous?"
She had a hard time saying the word, because when she looked at him, the last thing she thought of was the word monster. It was just a totally inappropriate term for him.
Immediately she felt him come closer and press his forehead against hers. His glare cut unhindered through her soul.
"You are not a monster. Not now, not ever. Believe me, I know monsters. And you're not one of them. Not even close."
His voice was so honest it made her heart ache. There was only truth in his eyes, and she could feel how important it was to him that she believe him.
"Besides, the red is disappearing little by little. Even now, your eyes are a little brighter."
"Really?"
Her voice sounded so hopeful that he grinned.
"Really. Eventually, the reflection won't bother you anymore."
"Edward's a tattletale."
Carlisle's laughter echoed through the forest and she felt the vibration in his chest.
It was so easy to be with him. As easy as breathing.
"I was about to remove all the mirrors in the house but Alice and Rosalie were a little less keen on the idea."
Now it was her turn to laugh. She could picture the reaction of the two women.
It was a moment of happiness, of joy. A moment she would never forget, not because she couldn't, but because it meant so much to her.
It was all the more ironic that this very moment should represent the greatest misfortune in her second life.
The forest floor was still damp, but the sun was shining for the first time in weeks, illuminating the mighty fir trees. Dewdrops glistened seductively and birds chirped merrily in the distance.
They noticed it at the same time.
But while Carlisle's eyes fixed anxiously on her, hers turned pitch black.
Before he could even wrap his arms around her, she ducked and disappeared.
She did notice Carlisle following her but she didn't care. The scent in her nose was everything.
All she ever wanted, all she ever desired.
She could no longer think clearly, she could no longer control herself.
It happened so fast that she didn't realize the disaster until it was too late.
In her arms lay a lifeless body, pale, with eyes wide open. On his neck a gruesome wound with frayed edges, as if something had bitten into him. It was a shock when she realized the something was her.
"Lily?"
Suddenly she heard his voice and she was startled.
She had almost forgotten he was here. But it was also typical. Of course he had to see her at her lowest point.
Cautiously he approached, as if afraid she would attack him. An absurd fear, but seeing what was still in her hands, in her claws, the fear made perfect sense.
"It's all right, let him go."
A sob ran through her and she carefully put the body down.
His features were frozen and contorted into a grimace. It was clear what his last emotions were. He was afraid for his life and he was going to be right.
"I... I'm sorry."
Her voice was nothing more than a stutter and suddenly she caught a whiff of another scent.
"I didn't see it, it was all so fast. I'm so sorry."
Alice voice rolled over and Lily squeezed her eyes shut.
The last thing she wanted to be was a burden. And that's exactly what she had become. Alice already had enough to deal with with the rest of the family, now she had to take care of her too.
"I'll take care of it, you take Lily away for now."
"...Is it... is it safe?"
Carlisle leiste voice cut through her heart. She knew what he was asking. He was asking if she was still a danger. What had happened to her?
She felt his hand on her shoulder and opened her eyes again.
Immediately she recoiled from the lifeless body as if it were burning her.
Carlisle pulled her close and she surrendered to the comforting feeling of his contact.
It was comforting but it wasn't enough.
"I'm sorry."
Her voice broke again and he squeezed tighter, pushing her away from the place that still carried the scent of what she had done.
"It was an accident."
His voice was firm and even if she didn't hear a lie in it, she didn't believe him. It was her accident, not his.
He had lived for almost 400 years without a single accident and he was surrounded by blood and open wounds. He had withstood even her, and she knew from Edward the strength it took.
She didn't even last a few months. Even when she was satiated, she lunged at the wanderer who wanted to take advantage of the good weather.
"What...what's happening to him?"
Carlisle fell silent.
"Alice will bury him so no one will find him. He will then be reported missing."
The idea broke her heart. Somewhere was his family, who didn't know he was never coming home. Who hoped every night he would show up again.
She paused, but Carlisle did not loosen his grip.
"But-"
"This is the best we can do."
"They'll be looking for him."
"They won't find him."
"But they'll wait, they'll wait until he comes back."
His look broke her heart and she realized he was suffering more than she was.
Abruptly, her throat tightened.
Carlisle honored life; he respected people. He had compassion for them. Of course he thought the same as she did. Of course he grieved, too.
And it was all because of her.
Because she couldn't control herself.
She didn't even notice how her body moved and he pushed her further in the direction of the house. What would the others think of her?
As if he could read her thoughts, he immediately reassured her.
"You are not the first and probably not the last to whom something like this has happened. They won't judge you."
The judgment wasn't so much her concern, it was more the fact that they felt vindicated.
She knew that her gift was not met with curiosity and fascination by everyone. The fact that Jasper trained with her was only because he himself was afraid of it. He wanted her to be able to control it. And her slip now gave them the proof that she was really dangerous.
"There's no one home."
The relief was short-lived, because when she saw herself in the glass front, she looked into two bright red eyes. They shone so brightly she didn't recognize herself.
He did not stop but pulled her into her room. It was no longer his office, it was her room.
Her refuge.
She had no clothes, but her scent was in it and even that, made her feel safe.
She felt him carefully loosen the dress and dispose of it immediately, out of the corner of her eye she saw red paint on it. But this time it was not a deer, it was a human. A human with parents, siblings, friends and maybe children.
"Are you disappointed?"
Her voice was no more than a whisper and even though she knew he would never admit it, she had to ask the question. He let out a sigh and tucked the blanket around her as if she would freeze. As if they could. As if there was nothing but ice in her heart.
"Never."
His voice was still full of conviction and she shook her head.
What else had to happen before he realized what she was?
Until he saw behind the illusion?
How long would the spell continue to work on him?
When would he see what Riley had created.