Hello again and welcome back to Total Drama Neo…kind of. As promised, here's the first episode of Total Drama Neo Side Storeis.
Total Drama Neo Side Stories 01 - Election Day
"DECISION!"
A loud, bombastic, masculine news reporter was currently giving a report regarding the ongoing election period. Yes, while twenty-two personalities were taking part in vigorous challenges, there was a big, stupid inter-universal election. With preliminaries and nominations conveniently out of the way, only twelve candidates remained. Of the twelve candidates, two are currently in the lead. With one day remaining, it was clear that one of the two would be elected.
"Former US president, slash president of Earth, plus head in a jar; Richard Nixon of U-3000! Versus, former senator of Naboo, plus current chancellor of The Galactic Republic; Sheev Palpatine of U-66! Tonight, one of these savvy, and dare I say heh-heh baggy-faced, politicians might come out on top as our first Supreme Inter-Universal Chancellor! I'm your news anchor, Tom, and welcome to MMN's coverage of the first C.O.U. Election!"
Generic news show music blares in the background, while the MMN's (Modern Multiversal News) logo flashed on a tv screen. Now you might or may not care about how a news channel or any network manages to broadcast its signal to thousands of universes. To put it shortly, a large faster-than-light transmitter, powered by a classified substance, is installed right to your domicile, and boom free multiversal cable.
It's obviously more complicated than that, but I digress, so let's shift our attention to the folks currently watching this election from a television stand in the middle of a campfire. If you haven't guessed, or if you don't know better, it is no other than our Total Drama Neo cast. It was a Sunday, two days after the new host, Blaineley, arrived. All of them, along with the staff and interns, were gathered around the campfire witnessing this historic event. Well, most of them were.
"Ughhh why do elections have to take soooo long?" Gumball groaned.
Rigby yawned. "I know right?"
"Please show some degree nuance you two," said Sam. "This is a very important day."
"She's right," Ilana agreed. "With someone leading as a spearhead for the C.O.U., we can expect to see some massive changes in the future."
"Whoa." Goku marveled at the idea. "And I thought the convergence was a massive change."
"But if this is soooo important, why is it only now that I've heard about this?" Gumball asked.
"Gumball not everything revolves around your minimalistic worldview," Mandy noted.
"I don't know," Gumball disagreed. "Sometimes I feel like I'm the main character of my own story, I call it The Amazing World of Gumball. Sounds good, eh?"
"Ah-Ah-Ahem!" Mao Mao exclaimed. "Some of us are trying to watch the news!"
"You're not exactly quite yourself," Judai quietly remarked.
"No denying that," Numbuh 5 agreed.
Back to the news, currently a picture of a head in a liquid-filled jar was on the screen. This was no other than Richard M. Nixon, who also happens to be from the same universe as our very own Zoidberg. Through a miraculous fluid known as H2OGfat, Nixon was able to live as a preserved head long after his "expiration."
"From the start, the sector primaries proved to be a struggle for Nixon," said the news anchor. "Approval ratings for him were low when it was confirmed that every universe who had a United States President, named Richard Nixon, resigned due their involvement in the Watergate scandal."
"Still wondering how anyone could vote for him knowing that," Biscuit muttered.
"Fair point, but wooooo U-3000 represent!" Zoidberg cheered.
"BOOOOOOO!" Soldier boomed. "Go America!"
"However, Nixon's campaign prevailed thanks to the promise of an Armed and Dangerous Policy."
A clip was played with Nixon giving a speech in in a fully packed auditorium. His head was placed on a podium and beside him…was a headless man in a suit. This was no other than his running mate, The Headless Body of Spiro Agnew, Nixon's Vice-President throughout his presidential career.
"My fellow citizens, let it be known that I Richard Milhous Nixon will allow all citizens to publicly carry level 10 or lower weapons!" Nixon exclaimed. "No matter the occasion!"
This was met with thunderous applause.
"Nixon quickly gained support from radical extremist, robots, territorial warlords, and people who don't know any better," said the news anchor. "Regardless, Nixon beat the odds and narrowly won the Sector F primaries and moved on to the main stage."
On screen, a picture elderly, pale-skinned man appeared. He had silver hair, blue eyes, and wore an ornate, red robe. This was Sheev Palpatine, a man who served as a Chancellor for a galaxy-wide Galactic Republic.
"Palpatine however skipped through the Sector D primaries with such relative ease. This is thanks in no small part to his Multiversal Care relief plan to help families and individuals affected by the convergence. Palpatine has also gone to boldly state his militaristic views."
A new clip was shown with Palpatine along with eleven other candidates, including Nixon, participating in a debate.
"The Clone Wars was an unfortunate conflict I regret even now," Palpatine somberly admitted. "Despite the victory of my dear Republic, I've come to despise the notion that a government must be overbearing on its own citizens. Which is why I want to shape the government body of the C.O.U. not as a large force, but as an aidful organization to allow each universe to work independently of each other whilst being connected a whole."
"Palpatine's anti multiversal militarization policy has seen great support," said the anchor. "With Nixon and Palpatine beating out the other ten sector candidates in the polls, all eyes are now focused on the current deadlock. We'll be back soon to discuss the election with guest anchor Morbo the Annihilator, as well as news of a possible comeback of the current 3rd place candidate, Ainz Ooal Gown."
The MMN logo flashed again on the screen before cutting to commercials.
Rigby yawned loudly. "Well, that was boring. I still don't get how any of this news stuff is actually gonna mean anything."
XXXXXXXXXX
Universe-3000, Earth, Washington D.C., The White House
Inside the capital building, Nixon was throwing a massive election party with tons of guest who knew him as the President of Earth. Nixon was wearing a rather special "suit" just for the occasion. It was a ten-meter, shiny, purple robot body. None other than a gift from another universe; avid supporters of his cause.
"Wow Nixon that is one stylish looking piece of metal," said a government official.
"Aroo I know," Nixon agreed. "It was a gift from the Cybertronians from U-86. They call themselves, Decepticons, and they know how to look dapper. Besides, the custom print paint isn't the only good thing about my new body."
In an instant, Nixon's robot body transformed into a bulky muscle car, with his head now sticking out from the middle of the vehicle. This was met with oos and aas from nearby party goers. A missile launcher then ejected from the car's side. Moments later, two rockets were fired past the crowd and into a nearby wall. Behind the rubble was Nixon's running mate, Agnew, and a female secretary, having a rather intimate moment interrupted by Nixon's crazy antics.
Nixon let out a despicable laugh and transformed back into his robot mode. "Not only can I preform vandalism and property destruction, but I can also cruuuuuise with chicks!"
A blonde, sleezy general let out a long whistle. "Hot damn, I could-I mean we could use one of those babies in the military."
"You said it General Brannigan. Once I'm elected, I'm making the C.O.U. a force to be reckoned with. All who oppose me will simply get stepped on!"
"Soooo, you thought about a fallout plan?" Brannigan asked.
Nixon raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"
"You know…if you lose? You and Palpatine are still neck-in-neck as we speak."
"Lose? What are you talking about? I'm a shoe in! Not only are there as many dim-witted voters as there are stars in the sky, but I've also done everything in my power to get the dirt on that pasty, peace loving dope! Besides, even if I lose, I just go back to being President of Earth again. It's a win-win situation."
"I see…welp cheers to that!" Brannigan drank from the glass and fell over.
"Now if you'd excuse me gentlemen," Nixon began, "I have phone call to make."
"Yes sir President N-I mean Supreme Inter-Universal Chancellor Nixon," said another government official.
"Sheesh that's a mouthful," Nixon thought to himself. Nixon then turned to Agnew and signaled him to follow.
Nixon left the party hall and made his way to his bedroom, followed by his trusty associate Agnew and six secret service agents. Once Nixon arrived at the door, he turned to face the main leader.
"Stay outside," Nixon ordered. "Me and Agnew have some business to attend to."
"Yes sir."
Nixon managed to fit his giant body through the small door. Next, Agnew followed and shut the door behind them, locking it.
"Agnew activate the switch," Nixon ordered.
Agnew grunted and walked towards a bookcase. He then stuck his hand behind it and pulled out a bow and arrow. The two then stood at the center of the room, in which Agnew took aim at a nearby statue. Agnew then skillfully shot an arrow into the eye hole of the statue, triggering a switch that activated a descending platform. The lift took them down to an underground cavern, one hundred feet below the White House.
Imagine having your own technological advanced mancave, but you were also the president. This basically described Nixon's top-secret base. Aside from a few treasured artifacts, trophies, and knickknacks, the key jewel of the "Nixoncave" was his giant supercomputer; used to conduct his dark business.
As he made his way to the computer, Nixon couldn't help but realize there was a distinct scent that filled the cave. However, his train of thought was interrupted by an alert coming from the computer.
MOVEMENT DETECTED, is what it read in large, blinking, capital font.
"Argh it's probably just one of those darn bats again," Nixon muttered. "Computer! Ignore alert and call Bender Bending Rodríguez!"
The computer did exactly as it was told. At the same time, Agnew couldn't help but be concerned.
"Hurr hur grur rr rrr!?" Agnew grunted.
"What am I doing? Isn't it obvious? I want to know if Bender exterminated our little friend Palpatine!"
"Wurrrrr?"'
"Why? Lemme tell ya something, old friend. Those pansies over at congress are trying to pass a law that will permanently end my eligibility for rerunning for President of Earth. I had my doubts, but it's happening sooner or later from the looks of it. If I lose this election, then that's it; I'm done for! Sure, I could run again eight years later, but by then my credibility will be gone! Eventually, I'll be back to wasting my years inside that horrid head museum! Ohhhhh, how I dread that day. That's why I'm taking this chance!"
"Wurrr? Hurrr durr burr vurr rrr zurr!"
"Wait? You were asking about the alert!? Agnew, the sensors have been acting funny for months now! It's those bats again I bet!"
"Gurr durr wurr!"
"Fine! If it'll make you feel any better, you check it out!"
Agnew angrily grunted and stomped off into the deeper areas of the cave.
"Yeah, yeah whatever!" Nixon refocused his attention to the computer, upon which he noticed the computer was still trying to contact his associate's phone. "Argh, what is with that glorified bending unit? The election is almost over!"
"I'm afraid things won't go as you planned, Mr. Nixon," said an ominous, hoarse voice.
"Wuh?"
Nixon quickly turned around and spotted an unfamiliar…thing. It stood at around seven feet and had a very disturbing cybernetic body. It had an elongated mask and wore only grey cape.
"How did-!?" Nixon quickly noticed that the abomination was holding a lifeless body. Unfortunately, it was Agnew. Enraged, Nixon activated the weapon systems that came equipped with his cybernetic body. "Trying to assassinate me, huh!? Not a chance!"
Nixon shot a flurry of bullets at the intruder, as well as series of shoulder rockets. However, Nixon did not anticipate the intruder to be extremely agile. As such, he dropped Agnew's corpse and easily evaded Nixon's attacks by running around the cave. Nixon was barely able to follow the intruder's movements, but at best he was only keeping it from getting too close. Eventually, the intruder found an opening and took advantage of this moment of weakness by lunging off the ceiling and towards Nixon's blind spot.
"Oh no you don't!" Nixon roared.
Nixon began to adjust his aim, but it was already too late. The intruder pulled out a peculiar weapon and ignited it, revealing it to be a retractable, blue laser sword. In a swift slice, Nixon's jar was disconnected from the cybernetic body. The jar hit the floor and shattered, leaving Nixon defenseless as a fish out of water.
"Too easy," said the voice.
"Aroo that's does it….you just made my list!" Nixon growled. "Whoever you are."
"My name is, Grievous. Consider it as a parting gift, Mr. Nixon."
"That's President Nixon to you! Did you do something to that bending unit!? Did Palpatine send you!?"
Grievous laughed. "Believe me, you have no idea, Mr. Nixon. I'd love to tell you more, but I'm afraid I'm short on time. Farwell."
As Nixon struggled to move his head, he suddenly realized what that scent was…gasoline. Incidentally, Grievous was holding an ordinary match, which he happened to just light and drop.
"You despicable-"
Before Nixon could finish his insult, he was engulfed flames. Grievous was able to escape through the vents before the fire could spread throughout the entire cave.
XXXXXXXXXX
An hour later, Grievous was inside a small hideout located on the outskirts of the capital city.
"I'm sure you've seen the headlines Dooku," said Grievous over a communicator device.
On a small television, a news channel was broadcasting a breaking news headline titled, "DISASTROUS FIRE UNDERNEATH WHITE HOUSE! PRESIDENT NIXON MISSING!" Clearly, they were completely unaware of what actually happened. For Grievous, this nothing short of perfection.
"Lord Sidious will be pleased. Don't you think?"
And fin.
Hopefully that sheds some new light on the direction the story is going towards. I'm looking forward to your thoughts on the chapter.
Anyways, I'm now working on the aftermath chapter so expect to see a break from all the serious, mutliversal spanning lore. As always feel free to give me feedback or whatever. I assure you I very much love some good ol' audience interaction.
Other than that, have a good day (or night) and I'll see you next time.