My mixed emotions from last night run into the morning, but the emotion that lingers the most is disappointment. I still haven't really processed everything that happened with our training scores, and I don't know if I'll have the proper time to do that before I'm dead. Helvius has humiliated me, and there's nothing I can do as payback.
"You'll need to play up your relationship even more than before," Simon says, leaning over the long dining table towards Damien and me. "If there's any time to act like best friends, it's now."
Damien laughs. "I think that ship has sailed," he says, but it seems to be more out of humor than out of malice, which is a pleasant change. "We can try, I guess."
"These people haven't seen you since the Parade," Simon reminds us. "Remember that."
Right now, Simon is trying to prepare us for our interviews tonight. It's been a weird few minutes so far - none of us have fully talked through what happened with our training scores since I practically stormed out at the end.
"Another important thing to remember is that these people don't know you and they haven't seen you train," Simon says. "They don't know how strong you are or how intelligent you are, they only know how strong or smart Helvius Athanasios thinks you are. District Five has had some very smart tributes over the years, so play into that. If you can convince them that you're extremely smart, they might think that Helvius didn't consider that with your scores."
I know Simon is only talking to me - Damien has nothing to prove, but I have to convince these people that I'm not useless.
"Obviously, Damien's behavior has been... erratic... in the past," Simon says very deliberately. "I hope you know that you can't be doing that anymore now that you're a major player in the Games. You need people to take you seriously. If you both can convince the audience of how smart you are, they might excuse everything that has happened so far. They can believe that you're just thinking on a plane above everyone else."
"Sounds fun," Damien says with a grin. "I'll be on my best behavior, I promise."
"Perfect," Simon says with a nod. "Damien, you can head to your room. Laurentia will be spending the rest of the day with both of you to teach you Capitol etiquette. Luna, you're first."
Damien laughs at me, wasting no time in leaving the room as I groan. "Simon-"
"You're not starting right away," Simon says. "And you'll listen to everything she says, Luna. This stuff might not seem important, but it actually is valued around here, and your lives could depend on pleasing these people. But listen to me first."
"Okay," I say, sinking back into my chair. Something about Simon's tone makes me nervous.
"Do you want Damien to win the Games?" Simon asks quietly.
"Of course," I tell him. "He has the best chance of beating the Careers out of anyone, and he has a family back home, too. I'd love to survive this, of course, but his situation is different..."
"People are talking, Luna," Simon tells me. "The analysts are predicting a very boring Games, especially compared to the last few years. It's clear that nobody stands a chance against the four Careers. They're just too strong. Nobody else is even in the conversation except for a few of the others. Damien is one of them; after him is Clay. Lily from District Four is a competitor, too. But a competitive pool of seven is a disappointment for people in the Capitol."
"Well, if I knew I was coming here, I would've prepared a little more," I say, rolling my eyes a bit.
"That's not the point, Luna. It doesn't matter what people in the Capitol think. They might be disappointed, but this is good for us. If there are only seven competitors, that gives Damien a one-in-seven chance. You have to understand, though, that if he wants to have a chance of making it out, you need to do everything you can to help him."
"That makes sense," I say, staring back at Simon's serious expression. "I'm not the one you should be talking to, though. You know how Damien is, and he's only just started talking to me-"
"He will," Simon says with a fire in his eyes. "I will tell him that he has no choice. I need you to stay in there with him and keep him in check. I don't know if that was your plan, or if it's even his. But this can't be an act anymore. You need to be actual allies in there or Damien will die."
"I will," I promise. It's not like I have any other choice - I've burned my bridges with everybody else, so my brother is my only option.
"Good," Simon sighs. "I'll call for Laurentia."
Etiquette training with Laurentia is just as bad as it sounds. Luckily, Laurentia isn't as strict as I was expecting, but the whole process is still a nightmare regardless. The first thing I'm taught is to sit up straight, and then I have to learn how to smile the right way, how to respond to questions, and how to look like I'm interested while I'm listening to the host, all with my back ramrod-straight.
It's not long before my cheeks are sore from fake-smiling. I wonder how much longer this is going to take - is Laurentia forgetting that she has to do all of this with Damien after me?
"This is important, dear," Laurentia says, pushing my back straight again. "People care about these things, and they'll be watching tonight. Don't forget that this reflects on me!"
I sigh, leaning back in my chair. Thankfully, Laurentia is able to take the hint.
"Sure," she says quietly. "Let's take a break."
An Avox appears, handing a small glass to Laurentia. She takes the glass with a giggle, making sure not to acknowledge the man handing it to her. I've noticed that she's done that to all the Avoxes since we got to the Capitol; maybe it's another piece of Capitol etiquette that I'm blissfully unaware of.
"What's that?" I ask, peering at the deep orange liquid in Laurentia's glass as she tips it back.
"Oh, you know," Laurentia says, waving her hand at me. "Just a little treat."
Laurentia holds the glass up, and another Avox appears to carry it away.
"I'd love to try some," I say with a plastered smile, making sure to sit up straight and bat my eyes at Laurentia. "For my hard work so far."
I can tell that Laurentia is struggling to argue with me. "You know you shouldn't, Luna..." she sighs.
"I'm going to die soon," I say, dropping the smile. "I'd like to live my life a little before that happens."
That seems to do it - Laurentia drops her head for a moment before nodding. "Very well," she says, examining my face for a moment before beckoning an Avox from the doorway. "But don't think like that, Luna. Have more confidence in yourself."
The Avox reappears soon after, passing me a matching drink. Laurentia looks away as I tip the glass back. It has a strong sugary taste to it, and it sets my mouth on fire as I swallow it. I gasp a bit as I feel the drink enter my body - a chill runs down the length of my body, all the way out to the tips of my fingers.
Laurentia laughs at my reaction. "You know, I don't know why they don't let you all enjoy everything the Capitol has to offer," she confides with a glint in her eye. "It's no fun. Everything around here always has to be so dreary. Now, I think we should get back to-"
"You and Serena are together," I blurt. It's not even a conscious decision; it just slips out before I even realize that my mouth is open.
Laurentia is shocked at my outburst - for a moment, she stares at me with her mouth open. After a few seconds, she composes herself before gesturing to an Avox for another drink.
"You seem like you have some opinions on that," Laurentia says, staring at me with a frown on her face. "Well, if you have something to say, say it now, Luna, because if this gets out to anyone else-"
"You know I don't have anyone else to tell," I scoff. I don't know where all of this confidence is coming from, but I don't even care enough to think about it. "I just thought it was weird that you were hiding it."
"Serena and I have been close for... a while," Laurentia says, her frown lifting a bit. "It's not professional, though. We care about our jobs, and we wouldn't want to lose them over this. But yes, maybe after all this is over... who knows."
Tears fill my eyes as an Avox sets another drink in front of me. "No, Luna-" Laurentia objects, but I waste no time before lifting it to my lips.
"It's just unfair," I choke out. "It's unfair that you get to feel that way and it's okay. If you didn't work with Serena, you'd be together. And I can't do that. I feel like I'm falling in love, and there's nothing I can do about it because I know that it'll never work. Sienna doesn't feel the same way, and even if she did, everyone in Five would hate me."
"Oh, darling," Laurentia exhales, standing from the table to embrace me. "I didn't know that you felt that way. I'm sorry if I made you feel like this. But it's just the way these things are."
"It's fine," I say through my tears. "There are worse things to deal with right now. But it still sucks. I'm going to die and I'm never going to get that opportunity that you and Serena have."
"I told you to stop with that mentality," Laurentia reminds me. "Listen, Luna, people in your District might not feel the same way, but I think that you would be popular here if you let everyone know how you really feel. The people here are the ones who matter, really. If you're a Victor, you'll be spending lots of time here anyway. Maybe you should try to open up in your interview."
"She won't be doing that," a man says; I hear a door open behind me. I turn to see Simon striding towards me.
"Simon," Laurentia sighs, "this isn't your time-"
"And this isn't your job," Simon reminds Laurentia. "Don't advise my tributes about their interviews, and I won't tell them how to smile wide or sit up straight."
Laurentia huffs as Simon turns to look at me.
"Laurentia, what have you done to her?" Simon asks, staring at my tear-streaked face. This is the most emotion I've seen from him since he screamed at Damien.
"Oh, lay off, Simon, she wanted a drink so I let her," Laurentia says, exasperated. "Leave us be-"
"Your time is done," Simon says, shaking his head as he helps me to my feet. "There's no point in teaching her etiquette if she's crying and blabbering. I'll send in Damien - it goes without saying that he of all people doesn't need a drink."
Simon grabs my arm tightly, pulling me out of the room. If he heard any other part of our conversation before his interruption, he doesn't show it. I'm glad - that was between Laurentia and me. Even though she wants me to tell my secrets to the world, I know that will never happen. All it could do is hurt me; I'll keep Laurentia's secret, and she'll keep mine.
A/N whatttt who saw all that coming?
I noticed recently that I've never really touched on the fact that tributes are sent to their death but they never get to try alcohol or anything else that's usually not given to people their age. Gotta live life while they can! The drink Laurentia gave to Luna wasn't straight-up alcohol but was a similar Capitol invention (thus, why she reacted to it the way she did).
Interviews are coming up - we'll see if Casper decided to go through with Luna's plan to split up Sienna and Colby or if it'll blow up in their faces...
~S