Emma

When Emma woke up on Sunday morning, her first thought was of Killian. It was not the first time she woke up thinking of him, but it seemed that it was much easier for her to push thoughts of him away when she was in New York. Here in Storybrooke, it became much harder not to think of him after having seen him. Her dreams had been filled with images of him, especially now that she had new material from last night, leaving her feeling restless and keyed up.

She cringed internally as she remembered what she had done last night. She did not know what was worse. Her accusing him of putting the whole town in danger or barging into his apartment to save her number in his phone.

Emma shook her head in a last-ditch attempt to clear her thoughts and decided to head downstairs; she expected her parents to be awake, considering her baby brother's aversion to sleep lately. She was soon proven right as she spied her mother in the kitchen preparing baby food for Leo.

"Good morning, sweetheart. You're up early today. Charming already left for the station; he had an early shift. I figured you and I could enjoy some waffles for breakfast and catch up."

"Morning. Oh, he failed to mention that last night," said Emma as she moved to help her mother gather the ingredients for their breakfast while Leo gurgled happily at them from his highchair. She chose to ignore her parents' obvious attempts to keep her on the fringe of everything Savior related for now.

Emma and Snow settled into a comfortable silence while they worked, with the latter observing the former as she was deep in thought. After several mistakes and fumbles by a distracted Emma, Mary Margaret gave up on her resolution and her promise to David to let Emma come to her first.

"Is everything alright? You seem a bit out of sorts."

"Did David tell you?" blurted Emma before her mother had even finished speaking, seemingly unable to keep it in anymore.

"Tell me what? About the attack on Killian or about you accusing him of putting the whole town in danger?"

"Oh God, it sounds worse when you put it like that," groaned Emma. "I didn't mean it that way. I was just - I am really worried for him."

Snow seemed surprised at that piece of information, not because she didn't already know but because she had not expected Emma to admit it to herself, let alone to someone else.

"So are we all, Emma, and we are working on it. David told me that you also seemed to be at odds with each other at the station yesterday. Is everything alright between you and Killian?" inquired Snow curiously. Emma wondered what her mother thought of all of this and briefly missed her friend, Mary Margaret.

However, that didn't mean she could not share something with Snow, her mom. Or at least, try to.

"No. I mean, yes. I don't - I don't know for sure. We haven't really spoken since I left, and everything has been - I don't know."

The truth was Emma had never felt herself on such shaky ground with Killian Jones as she did now. There had been moments where he had made her unsteady, had made her breathless and her mind hazy. But even then, she had known where she stood with him. Now, she did not even know if he considered her a friend. There had been moments, in the midst of the chaos with Zelena and in Neverland, where she had seen glimpses of the man he truly was beyond the facade of the devil may care pirate. It was during one such moment, sitting in Granny's empty diner late at night where he had told her about Liam, unshed tears in his eyes, when she had realized she could fall in love with Killian Jones if she let herself.

The next day she found out about his cursed lips and Zelena's plot, and it had been all too easy to run away from the boathouse and him but also from her feelings for him.

She ran all the way to New York, but it seemed she could evade but not forget.

And so, for the first time in forever, Emma Swan found herself looking back, wanting to go back.

But she didn't know how.

Coming back to her parents and Henry and the family they represented was easy. Coming back to Killian Jones and whatever they had been, might have been, was a bit more complicated, especially when she took into account the current state of their interactions.

She could not even be sure that he wanted her to come back.

Because even if there had been no name or label for what they had been, could have been, she knew she had hurt him. He had offered her a future with him, and she had thrown it back in his face like it meant nothing. All to run away to protect herself even when she knew she should not.

In an act of pure defiance, she had broken his heart.

And she wasn't sure he would forgive her for that. She knew she wouldn't, high as her walls were.

Snow finished setting up the waffle maker and turned to look at her daughter carefully, watching her fight with herself and her feelings.

Emma briefly wondered how much Snow knew about the whole affair, at least from the other side. Clearly, her parents were friends with Killian, close enough for them to be worried for him and for Killian to take her father in close confidence with some things. She briefly wondered if Snow would know if he had moved on and was tangled up with someone else, but she shook the thought off. Nothing would be more pathetic than asking her mother for details on his love life.

(Having to hide a negative reaction if it turned out he did have someone would be)

"I honestly can't say for sure. We were fine when I left, I guess," sighed Emma despondently.

"I'm sure things will right themselves. Everyone has been dealing with a lot of stress lately, none more than Killian," replied Snow reassuringly. "Which brings me to tonight! Your father and I are hosting a small potluck dinner. I know you have to drive back to New York, but since you are not working this week, I was thinking you could leave tomorrow and stick around for tonight. Maybe you could talk to him then and leave things on a better note?" said Snow as she turned her knowing eyes on Emma.

It was a potluck dinner hosted by her parents in their loft with a bunch of their friends. It was nothing fancy and nothing to make a big fuss of. It was also definitely not a date.

So why the hell couldn't she find something to wear?

And why was she stressing about that, of all things?

She really should not be this nervous at the thought of seeing Killian Jones again, especially considering the circumstances.

She knew her parents well enough by now to know tonight's dinner was not actually the casual and friendly affair they were painting this as, and it probably fit more into the category of intervention. It was probably rude for her to be looking for a good outfit to ambush Killian Jones to divulge his secrets when he clearly did not want to, but she could not claim to always have her priorities straight.

Neverland was proof of that.

He was late.

Emma was far from surprised and judging from their faces; neither were the others. What she was unsure of was whether he would show at all. Her parents were certain of the fact. And Tink had agreed with them and reassured them when she had arrived, and David had ambushed her with questions about why she had not thought to bring Killian with her to ensure his presence.

(Emma had to fight a growl at her father's assumption that he would be by Tinkerbelle's side)

But Tink had been certain, so they mingled around, waiting for the unwilling star of the evening.

Emma had briefly hoped that he wouldn't show, just so the fairy would not be right about how well she knew him. However, she immediately retracted her thoughts when she realized how petty that was and joined everyone else in repeatedly glancing at the front door and the clock.

She tried to make small talk with Ruby and Snow as she watched Henry play with Roland in the living room, but she had never been good at socializing. It was one of the few things she and Regina had in common, thought Emma as she glanced at the reformed Evil Queen.

She had been surprised at Regina's arrival with Robin, as she did not have the impression she would care much about tonight's proceedings or Killian's welfare, for that matter. However, Regina had been surprising her since she started dating Robin, and he seemed to be close to Hook. It seemed all Enchanted Forest people were suckers for love, Evil Queen or not.

She was even more surprised when Regina willingly approached her to talk with her when Ruby and Snow stepped away to help Granny lay out the food.

"Miss Swan, I was hoping you would be here."

"I somehow find that hard to believe. How can I help you, Regina?" said Emma, not unkindly.

"I understand from Henry that you are planning on coming back and staying in Storybrooke for the foreseeable future. Have you thought about what that would mean for his custody and schooling if you're not in New York?" asked Regina with an arched eyebrow.

Shoot.

She had not considered that at all. She had assumed things would go back to how they were before the curse. But it would be unfair if she later refused to stay permanently and then uprooted Henry again.

(Or maybe you can just accept that this is your home and set roots once and for all, whispered that little voice in her head)

"I'm sorry, Regina, I should have been the one to tell you. I will indeed be returning to Storybrooke at the end of the week. I thought maybe we would go back to how our custody was before Pan's curse hit. However, considering Henry's age, maybe we could let it be up to him. He can have as much freedom as he wants between our houses as long as we all communicate accordingly. Don't you think?"

She did not miss Regina's surprise and approving nod at her words, and she couldn't help but feel proud. She was often left feeling inferior and as if she could have said something better after crossing words with Regina.

"I agree with you wholeheartedly, Miss Swan. I will discuss it with Henry this week and inform the school. We can test how the arrangement works next week when you are back. Will you seek a new place or stay with your parents?"

Emma was too busy patting herself on the back to register Regina's question, and by the time she caught up with her words, the mayor was looking at her expectantly as she opened and closed her mouth.

So much for not looking like a fool in front of Regina.

"I don't know. Guess I'll stay here for a while. God knows Storybrooke doesn't have the best real estate."

"Well, if you do find yourself looking, I make quite the agent, it seems," chuckled Regina, clearly remembering an inside joke. "Now, as for the other matter I approached you for, your magic."

"What about my magic?"

"What about your magic indeed, Miss Swan? Zelena was defeated months ago. Your parents tell me you're not sure if your magic is back. I am here to tell you I know that is bullshit," countered Regina easily.

All the good thoughts she had been having about Regina's goodwill and patience with her went out the window immediately.

She was right, though, which is what incensed Emma even more. She could feel, even now, the constant tingling and thrumming of her magic under her skin. Could picture in her mind's eye that well of magic inside her that she so often pretended did not exist. It was easier to lie to her parents, who probably did suspect her magic was back but were far more accommodating to her evasion tactics. But she could not lie to Regina, who technically was her magic teacher; she just wished she could.

"I guess. I'm not really sure. Haven't tried to abracadabra something yet or anything," joked Emma, knowing it would piss Regina off even more.

"Well, see that you don't, Miss Swan, at least not without an experienced magic user present. I shudder to think what that volatile magic of yours could do when released after months of suppression," hissed Regina, immediately letting her know what she thought of Emma's avoidance tactic and irresponsibility.

With a wave of her hand and a nod, Regina ended the conversation. She returned to stand by Robin, who was deep in conversation with Belle, leaving Emma to stare indignantly at the front door, willing a certain pirate to appear.

"It just occurred to me. I could just poof him here and be done with all this waiting," said Regina irritably after another thirty minutes of waiting on Hook.

Emma was about to agree with Regina's proposal right as she heard the knock on the front door and was already headed to open it before the others even had a chance to react.

She could not help but think that the sight of Killian Jones in modern clothes was the gift that kept on giving as she opened the door and saw him standing there.

He was wearing dark jeans, a leather waistcoat, and a navy-blue button-down underneath that accentuated the blue of his eyes, making her shiver as they met her jade ones. He hadn't abandoned the eyeliner, making him look every way the modern version of the pirate he was.

Emma could not stop her perusal of Hook as her mother approached him and relieved him of the salad bowl and rum bottle he had brought and as he took off his leather jacket.

The jeans hugged his legs, showing off the defined muscles, even though they weren't obscenely tight, and she threw a prayer to whatever gods existed that she wouldn't be caught staring at his ass tonight. The shirt fit snugly, showing off his toned arms and torso that she now knew looked even better than she had ever dreamed of. He had left several of the top buttons undone, much like how he regularly wore his linen shirts, leaving the path that ran from the column of his neck to his exposed chest in plain sight, only decorated by the charms of his necklace. A necklace she wanted to grab and tug on and -

Fuck, he could put an outfit together.

Focus Emma!

She watched as he walked away to greet the others after their tense greeting and subsequent silence, cursing herself for her awkwardness.

She should have said something.

Anything!

Instead, she was left behind to watch as he worked the room, his charm, and social skills seemingly back after their awkward moment. He greeted everyone with a hug or a kiss on the cheek, and Emma could not help but sulk at the fact she had gotten neither.

He seemed to be friends with everyone, even Regina, who had rolled her eyes half-heartedly with a smile at his mocking bow of greeting, and Emma could not help but feel jealous. Of him, for fitting in so well with the group when she never could, and of them for taking his attention away from her. Ever since they met Killian Jones in the Enchanted Forest, he had always gravitated toward Emma. She had been his point of contact and even defender in some cases. But now, he did not even need it. Why would he? When he had managed to become friends with Belle, who he had once shot in his quest for revenge.

All that bloodthirstiness, that single mindedness for revenge was gone. She knew he had left it behind in Neverland. For Henry.

(..and her)

But he seemed more settled in his decision. Beyond the modern clothes and the friendship with a Prince, there was something about him that screamed Killian Jones rather than Captain Hook.

She had left, and he had stayed behind, and it seemed had made something out of it.

He'd become part of something rather than look out for himself forever, like she once told him he could.

Funny how things change.

They sat down for dinner almost immediately and she manouvered herself to sit across from him. Not that it helped her with much, with the way he was avoiding her gaze.

"Why were you late?" questioned Tink as soon as she finished serving her food.

"I had some business I needed to finish and lost track of time."

Lie.

"Did you manage to look at the papers I gave you on the next shipment?" asked Belle, seemingly accepting his answer.

Shipment.

She wondered if those papers were the same ones she had seen on his desk. She had questioned David on them, and he had simply said it was Killian's company but had not offered any details. She had so many questions she could not ask her parents and the only person who could answer them was sitting in front of her, but it felt as if he were miles away.

All she needed was a moment alone with him. Or maybe more than one.

She wasn't sure.

That seemed to be the default now for her when it came to Killian Jones.

She had not meant to call him out in front of everyone.

From the moment he arrived, she saw the tense hold of his shoulders, the tick in his jaw every so often as if he was mulling a dark thought over and over, and his constant avoidance of her gaze. At first, she thought his problem was only with her, what with their awful interactions lately. But then she'd seen him with Roland Henry, and while he was gracious and attentive to the two of them and their games, his mind seemed to be consistently elsewhere.

So she called him out on his secrets.

Even though she had never intended to do so in front of everyone, had meant to sneak a moment alone with him to give him the privacy he always granted her. But it had prickled her.

The fact that he had kept something like that from everyone.

(From her)

The fact that Tink had known and fucking Will Scarlet, who had just appeared in town weeks ago.

And even Regina! Of all people!

(She ignored the voice that reminded her he had no way or reason to tell her anything after she had left)

The point was she had not known, and she was the Savior. He and her parents had kept her in the dark for everything when they should have done the opposite.

She was the expert here. She could not help but think how she knew better than anyone what across all waters meant for him, even though he had not shared it with her.

Except, he had told her hadn't he?

An orphan is an orphan.

On that beanstalk on the top of the world, he'd told her he could read her like an open book and had proved it. And she never stopped to think if maybe he read it so well because his was written in the same language.

She watched him reach into his jacket and pull out a small piece of parchment on her parent's kitchen island and had it in her hands before anyone could blink.

Thaisce, come seek where your answers lie. King Tide.

43.70312366695172, -69.75123652137931

Per omnes aqua

Her blood ran cold as she read and re-read the words in front of her.

She knew Killian Jones well enough to know he would never ignore this, he would go to where these coordinates indicated.

And she could not let him do that.

She listened to Killian prattle on about taking a ship and coordinates and fumed as she turned to look at her father.

He was actually listening as if he was considering it!

"Oh, so not only have you already plotted your course, but you are completely ignoring that it would be in the middle of the fucking ocean in unknown territory. Have you lost your mind?" hissed Emma, trying to push off David who was standing in her way to get into Killian's face.

Instead, David held her back and she watched as Killian ignored her and turned to convince David of his mad plan.

"I can take the Aquilion; it's not that far that I would need a crew, and it has all the necessary security provisions. Besides, I have the charm Regina gave me."

"The charm is to find you after you're taken; we want to prevent it." said Regina

"Well then, that can be your Plan B if I don't return."

Plan B?

Have they lost their minds?

She could not believe what she was hearing, what her father was clearly considering behind the calculating glint in his eyes.

"No."

Emma felt the breath leave her body as it filled with relief at David's refusal. Clearly he had some common sense.

"At least not alone; you will take a skeleton crew of experienced fighters with you and at least one magic user. And I will come along too," declared David, turning apologetic eyes on an increasingly furious Emma.

"So will Regina and I."

"Dad, you can't be serious about this," said Emma, turning pleading eyes on her father.

He subtly shook his head at her, casting his eyes down and Emma fought every part of her body that wanted to sob and scream and throw a tantrum like she never had as a child as she fought the feeling of betrayal.

David never denied her anything, and now when it mattered most he had.

Her brain shut out Regina and Killian's bickering as she turned to her mother, hopeful that she would have her back. But Mary Margaret only went along with the plan and Emma's ire increased tenfold.

"Are you serious right now? None of you see the problem with this? He is not bait!" hissed Emma, turning her back on Killian and the others as she left the loft in a storm of rage.

The light in the hallway flickered violently and Emma willed herself to calm down and breathe. It would not be a good idea for her to lose control of her magic right now.

Even if all she wanted to do was find a spell that would put Killian Jones in a protective bubble.

She could not believe what they were planning to do, what he was planning to do. Putting himself in danger as some type of bait, ready to be taken or worse. Like he meant nothing.

Like he wasn't everything.

She heard steps approaching from inside and whirled around immediately to turn her back to the door. She did not want David or Snow to see her crying. They would have too many questions she did not want to answer.

The moment the door opened, and he stepped out, she realized it was not her parents who had followed her out. That same undercurrent of tension, similar to the thrumming of her magic through her veins, coursed through her, straightening her spine.

It was something she had noticed from the moment they met.

Her body always seemed to sense where he was.

She wondered if he felt it too.

"Swan."

Always Swan, never Emma. At least not lately.

(And when I win your heart, Emma, and I will win it. It will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me)

Oh, how she wanted now.

"Killian, you can't do this; you just can't."

"I have to, Swan. This means too much for me not to go after answers."

She willed herself not to cry, after all it was exactly the answer she expected from him. It was exactly what she would have done in his place. And he could never know how much it meant to her.

How much he meant to her.

That did not stop her from hating him just a bit in that moment too.

Neal.

Graham.

Even Walsh.

They were all dead.

And even though they had never been anything concrete, even though he wasn't hers, had never been hers, she could not lose him too.

She would make sure of it.

"When is king tide?" questioned Emma.

"I would say in a fortnight; we won't know for sure until it nears closer. The moon can be fickle sometimes in that regard," explained Killian slowly.

"Good; I'll be in Storybrooke then to join you guys."

"No."

"I don't remember asking for permission, Hook."

She would not be stopped, not by him and not by her parents who would probably kick a fuss.

"I'm moving back next weekend and I will restart my magic classes with Regina. You don't know what you will be up against; you could use a second magic user. Come king tide, I'll be ready."

"Emma, you shou - "

"I don't want to hear it, Hook. And don't think I will take my eyes off you for a second."

He flinched at her renewed use and emphasis of his moniker, and she knew he saw it for what it was. She was putting her walls back up. She needed to focus on the mission. She could not allow any distractions.

This was too important.

"I would despair if you did, Swan."

His eyes met hers and a shiver ran through her at the look in them. It was the same thing he had told her once before and yet it wasn't. It lacked the smirk and mocking tilt of his head, all traces of the cocky pirate gone.

The smile he gave her was not one she was used to, small yet sincere, almost shy and sad.

It made her ache even more for him.

She had missed him.

Missed talking to him and getting to hear his opinion. Missed the lilting tone of his accent as he talked and the innate reassurance he gave her with his words.

Missed the way a look from him would make her feel electrified.

Wanted.

Missed his smile and the flirtatious tilt of his head when he delivered an innuendo or a flirty joke with a cocky grin.

Most of all, she missed when they had been directed at her. When his walls had not been as high as hers were.

He was right there, and she still missed him.

And she did not know how to fix that now.