Her family tree. This grand and esteemed history that's shadow stretched across the village. The roots of which, Mirabel was sure would reach the earth's equator. Branches do not budge. Neither should children from expectations held of them. Still, Mirabel set out her own as morning broke, venturing farther than her usual trails endeavouring to break this awful routine she wound herself up in.
Climbing higher up the tree, watching the house grow smaller with each carefully balanced step upward. Mirabel found herself in the mountains. These extravagant angles sketching triangles into the horizons she eagerly awaited each new day. They had long felt like the borders of her life. She would never amount to anything beyond this line. Yet, here she was teetering on the edge of the bird cage. All it would take would some bravery and some guts and she could seamlessly swing into a new life. She could just keep walking, following her feet until she was somewhere new. The anchor of this tree wouldn't reach beyond here. These roots would snap.
"I could just go." Mirabel murmured quietly. She knew deep down she wouldn't go. She wanted to stay, she wanted to want to leave. She wanted to feel brave enough. Perhaps she was giving too much power to this tree. As a child, her world didn't go beyond her front garden. After that, she shared the world with her parents, holding their hand tightly and doing exactly as they said. But she was older now. These shackles were rusting and the roots were rotting in her misery. The tree of stability she had looked up to as a child was looking smaller by the day. Perhaps this was her autumn. Perhaps this was her time to flutter away to a new place, and see where she lands. Maybe it was long before today, maybe her time was up the minute that door went dark. And now, she was being made to feel this shit for outstaying her welcome. It did in fact appear as though the candle had rule over her family.
It may be that Mirabel could peel herself away from these rotten roots. She could do so with ease. Start a new life and let previous expectations burn into ashes.
Start anew
What if this nothingness spans for miles? What if it continues forever and there is undoubtedly no signs of life ever getting better?
And she realised where she wanted to run to. Back to before the door. Back to when making her family proud meant learning to tie her shoes, and spelling her name. Back to when she never had to worry that her family exclaiming 'I'm so proud of you!' might just be the last, because as a child all it took was simply existing. Small achievements for small people. She never passed that milestone carefully curated for the Madrigals. She was stuck, and unable to overcome the bigger hurdles that came after.
So she stayed, dipping her feet into the small stretch of water, reacquainting herself with quiet. Not silence, just a gentle, soothing quiet. The sound of the mountains breeze travelling both through and past her, flicking the grass as it went by. The noise in her head when she shut her eyes tight, if she focused hard enough she could hear the market. She imagined reaching the very top of the mountains, watching where she lived from this whole new perspective. Tiny speckles of life unaware that she was even there. Overlooking them, she would only wish them the very best and most prosperous of lives.
She could only hope that someone out there was doing the same for her. Seeing her, and empathising with her. That was all she wanted, understanding.
She was supposed to be talking to Dolores right now. That was understanding. It was offered to her and she had fled to the mountains. She knew how silly it was - at least that was how it felt.
"I hate this feeling" Mirabel announced, pointing up to the sky she reiterated louder, "I hate that you made me feel this way". The moonlight became her spotlight, and the world was her stage. "Did I do something wrong?" She grit her teeth, allowing anger to completely and utterly fill her. It boiled her blood and scorched her veins. Heated, she continued to throw obscenities into the cold night wind. "Are you trying to teach me something?" Mirabel raised her eyebrows, the smile on her face brewing into a sardonic smile. "Because if so, lesson learnt." She swung her arms out to the side, as though she were about to bow. She sneered "Fuck you, and fuck what you're doing"
There was nobody around to stop her, so she spurred onward spitting fire with the intention of burning down this emotional cage she had long stayed inside of. "I have been patient, I've been steadfast, completing my duties, in spite of the fact that I alone owe you nothing." Pacing, there were a billion thoughts swirling inside her mind. "I am more than ready to receive my gift, and I have shown that to you time and time again. You've chosen against me. Fuck you. And you know what!? Especially fuck you for that night." Tears were brewing in her eyes, this combined with the cold air that she was now inhaling quickly would have otherwise quietened her, but Mirabel was louder, wanting to make clear that 'they' the universe, whomever, would hear her. "You knew nothing was coming. You humiliated me." Motioning to the dried cut on her wrist, she paused. Her laughter dulled, and the world got quiet again. Pensively, she stared at it. Scoffing and shaking her head she lightly kicked a nearby rock, and watched it roll some ways down a hill. As it got further from her, her vision got blurrier. She looked back up to the sky, tears now spilling down her cheeks. "Thank you. Thank you for my miracle." She hissed bitterly.