It wasn't until Mirabel was walking home did she realise just how far she had ventured from the house. It was exhausting, both physically and mentally to be returning back to the place that had made her feel so unhappy.
The house was so quiet, this house that literally came to life was eerily still, she could almost sense the anticipation of what was coming next. She knew it was too good to be true, to believe she may be able to get to her room unscathed from her disappearance.
"I missed you today." Julieta tells the countertop that she was cleaning. "I missed my best friend."
"I was getting some air" Mirabel replied. Pulling herself away from this emotional conversation. She already felt unbelievably guilty, for many things.
"Some air?" She looks over to Mirabel, her daughter is shrinking into herself standing in the doorway. "Did it help?" She asks. Her query sparks a small fear in Mirabel. Help from what?
"I suppose" She shrugs, her eyes flicker between Julieta and the floor tiles. She was grateful for this divided attention, until she looks closer around the kitchen. It's the cleanest it has ever been, even the grout between the floor tiles are glimmering. And now she sees what her mother has been doing all this time, waiting up for her. Mirabel pursed her lips tightly shut, trying to stomach her tears. It's to no avail, her throat is hurting and her eyes are stinging. "That bleach is really strong, huh" Mirabel half heartedly laughs.
A staggering breath comes from the other side of the room. Her mother is staring at her, concern etched into her brown iris'. The strongest woman she knew, was faltering right in front of her. Before she knows it the yellow cleaning gloves are off and she feels warm. Safe, and held.
"I'm so worried about you, Mirabel." She squeezes her tighter. "Unbelievably so." She barely whispers. Kissing the top of her head, she lets her go, guiding her to a seat.
"Please don't be." Mirabel says sadly. "I'm okay." She's lying again, but for the sake of her happiness.
"I will always worry about you Mirabel, that's what mothers do." Julieta starts, "but recently.. you've been distant, as though there's something on your mind." Julieta looked intently at Mirabel. Combing through the past few days especially, analysing it all in her head. "Even today, you were - where?"
"Getting some air." Mirabel answered, like a small child being told off.
"Dolores approximated you were in the mountains." Julieta says concerned, joining Mirabel at the table and resting her head in the palm of her hand. The silence is painful, Mirabel is certain her heart beating out of her chest could be heard around the whole house. She swallows hard. Julieta's free hand hesitantly reaches Mirabel's. Mirabel hasn't fled, so Julieta holds her, her thumb softly running up and down Mirabel's hand. "Is that so?" Julieta prompts, determined to understand.
Quietly, Mirabel hears herself speak. "Yeah". It shouldn't feel this difficult to talk to her mother, and yet, it makes sense. Julieta is the person she is most comfortable with. The person she ran to for comfort (as well as healing) when she scraped her knee as a child, the person who dried her tears if someone was mean to her. There was so much love in her mothers heart for her, she didn't want to be the one to hurt it.
"Why?" Julieta asks, tilting her head to the side just slightly.
"I don't really know." Mirabel answers honestly. She starts chewing her lip, as her eyes dart around the dark room. She can feel the fear between them, only she can't work out who's more responsible for it. "I just wanted to get away."
"From what?" Julieta asks. This is one of those moments Mirabel wishes she had a gift, in this instance she longed to be able to turn back time. She would take back what she said, feeling as though she may have entered a vulnerable territory.
"Here" Mirabel chokes. "Away from here". Her chin is digging into her chest, she can't bare to look at her. The sound of a chair leg scraping across the floor in the middle of the night. And a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and then her leg.
"Mirabel, look at me." Julieta is crouching beside her, one arm resting on the table. She is scared, and it's taking everything in her to not show Mirabel that. She is preparing for the worst. She's preparing to hear something that she cannot fix instantly. "Wh-.. why?" Crumbling, just a little. She stops, a thin line forming across her mouth as she purposefully takes a pause, she is choosing her words carefully. "What's happened?"
"Nothings happened." Guilt is overriding her fear. She's the reason her mum is awake at this time of night. She's the reason her mother is getting upset. "It's just a feeling."
"How long have you been feeling this way?" Julieta furrows her brows, searching her daughters eyes. What did she miss? What is she missing? As she's combing back through her memory she answers her own question. "Too long."
"What can I do?" Cupping Mirabel's cheek, she gently wipes away Mirabel's tears.
"You get me a gift." Mirabel smiled ruefully shrugging her shoulders half-heartedly, finally meeting Julieta's eyes.
Julieta looked devastated. Mirabel hated herself for saying it aloud, for putting it on Julieta. It wasn't fair. She couldn't fix this.
"You know that I love you, just as you are. " Julieta began steadily. "That I truly mean it when I say that you are enough - more than enough - gift, or no gift." Standing up, Julieta slowly returned back to the table, her eyes staying on Mirabel. "And I know that me saying these things doesn't always make things better." She hesitates, burying her own sadness for another time. This isn't the time to feel like a failure. "I wish I could make it better, I wish you weren't forced to feel so different from your family. Mirabel I love you more than anything, anything." She emphasises. "You can't run from your feelings sweetheart."
"You look tired." Julieta noted. "Go on, you should get to bed." She wanted Mirabel to have some time to think over what they talked about. It's enough for tonight.