It's been such a long time since I've updated this fic - any actually, i've been busy working and struggling with writers block. Those of you waiting, I'm so sorry. This is a short update, just because I'm trying to get in the mindset of writing again, I don't want to do big updates when I'm not in the headspace. I hope this is okay
did i deserve all the hell you gave me?
The abrupt awakening to our differences hurts much more when you realise just to what extent those differences can stretch to. For Mirabel in particular, the day the door went dark ignited a fire that burned away all previous beliefs she held of herself and the world. She quickly came to learn how painful the ache of wanting to fit in is, and how it worsens when you realise that there is nothing that can be done to fix it.
The looks of pity and lazy attempts of half hearted compliments, all of the sudden all doubt is cast into the world as a damning reality. Everyone sees it, and it's all they will ever see. She felt it, catching glances from strangers and practically seeing the gears going into overdrive inside their heads - dreaming up an alternate reality where Mirabel may fulfil their expectations, where a door may have shown up for her. That constant reminder of what you're missing sets in stone a lifetime of disappointment. It sets you up for failure. For Mirabel to ever think she may ever achieve something meaningful like her family one day would have been going against all reason, it would have been mad. When everyone thinks less of you, you think less of yourself - a self fulfilling prophecy at its most painful.
We see your pain, Mirabel
She had worked hard to make it miss-able, keep this part of her where nobody would ever find it. At least, she felt as though she was working hard. Instead, every piece of energy was merely holding fragile falling pieces somewhat together.
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
Pieces of her scattered across her timeline Time doesn't heal all wounds, Mirabel refused to believe that. She had left the security she had in herself behind when the Encanto abandoned her, her confidence faltered with every day after, she wouldn't ever recover it. Her happiness? Mirabel couldn't place when she last felt it, at least fully. The details were fuzzy and the memory, hazy.
"Mirabel?"
It felt all too reminiscent. The dark door looming over her. Only now, there was something waiting on the other side for her.
"Yeah?"
"Could you let us in?" Isabela asked softly.
Lifting herself on the floor, Mirabel dragged herself to the door, clasping her hand tiredly around the handle. It was only moments before Julieta swooped Mirabel into a hug, quietly murmuring reassurances into her ear.
"Oh my Mirabel" Julieta cooed softly. And for a moment, it felt like things may just be okay. Just for a second, the tornado stopped spinning. she was stable, safe in her mothers arms.
"I don't know what to do" Mirabel gasped through sobs, "I tried- I- I can't"
"We're here" Isabela croaked, a tear rolling down her cheek as she joined the hug.
"We aren't going anywhere, Mirabel." Julieta said sternly. "You've got us."