AN: Hi everyone!
I will not say much about the upcoming chapter, but I feel like I must apologize for it. Honestly, it pained me to write it and maybe that's just me being overly emotional, but in case you feel sad afterwards, I just want you to know I'm sorry :)
Anyway, I would love to hear what you think of it.
So, here we go… (attention, a flashback is coming)
Chapter 5
07. June 1987
El awoke in her dad's cabin, like on every typical Sunday morning.
Even though it was only shortly past nine o'clock, it was already quite warm, and her blanket lay discarded on the floor, presumably kicked off by her during the night. Her hair was damp in the neck and her pyjama shorts and top clung to her body.
El sighed, knowing it was going to be a hot day, and stood up. She tottered over to the drawer and searched for something to wear; she always kept some pieces of clothing at her dad's to be able to adjust to any weather changes. She found a pair of denim shorts and a loose grey t-shirt that would suit today's hot degrees and with the clothes in hand, she wandered down the small hallway to the bathroom. She stripped off her pyjamas and stepped under the shower. The water was cooling her hot skin considerably and fully woke her up.
After the soothing shower, she quickly dried up and put the shorts and t-shirt on. El only slightly rubbed her hair dry, leaving it to the warm temperatures to dry it completely.
Fully dressed for the day, she went over to the kitchen, where her dad was seated on one of the two kitchen chairs reading the Sunday edition of The Hawkins Post. He didn't look up from the newspaper when El entered, but he mumbled something that she guessed to be a "Good Morning".
She answered with a simple, "Good Morning, dad.", herself and grabbed two Eggos from the freezer to put them into the toaster. While the Eggos were in the making, she poured herself a glass of orange juice and filled her dad's coffee cup again. She didn't ask if he wanted anything to eat, as she knew that his mornings were all about coffee and contemplation.
Once the Eggos were done, El sat down opposite of her dad and poured syrup onto them.
The next minutes were filled with silence, only interrupted by El's knife scratching on the plate and Hopper's turning of the pages. She chewed her breakfast happily, marvelling in the taste of her favourite food.
Suddenly, the quiet peace was broken by the phone ringing. Hopper sighed, stood up reluctantly and walked over to pick it up.
"Hello.", he said grumblingly into the earpiece, followed by a longer pause. "And you cannot handle it on your own?", were his next words. "Okay, okay… I'll be coming shortly… Just keep calm and try to control them until I'm there."
Hopper hung up and turned to El, who had listened to the phone call with interest. "Kid, I'm sorry. I need to go to the station as soon as possible. Some fight is going on there between the old farmer Owens and the grocery store owner Bradley. I don't know any details, but it seems like it ended in a vegetable battle in the police station and now they need me to sort out the mess. Do you mind if I drive you home right away instead of later?"
El stared at him for a few seconds, contemplating if he was joking, but the exasperated look on her dad's face was telling her that he was indeed serious. Well, these were the real-life quarrels of a small town like Hawkins.
"No problem, dad. I just finished eating. Give me five minutes to grab my stuff and I will be ready to head home.", El replied.
"Great, thanks El.", her father sighed thankfully.
A few minutes later El sat in the passenger seat of the Chevrolet driving towards Hawkins.
Trees passed by in a blur of green, surrounding the curvy road that connected her dad's cabin with the small town. When he had moved out of their shared home, he had moved to the small shelter in the middle of the woods that once belonged to his own dad. What was meant as a short-term solution, turned out to become something permanently. Her dad claimed he loved the quiet of the forest and it helped him to calm down from his stressful job, where he had to deal with all kinds of dramas of the town of Hawkins. And El herself had grown fond of the cabin in the woods, and she was playing with the idea in her head to move there one day herself, whenever her dad would have no use of it anymore.
Slowly the continuous line of trees was more and more interrupted by farms and lonely houses, until they reached the outskirts of town, where single houses turned into neighbourhoods.
She was momentarily thinking about what she could do on this hot summer day, when Hopper was called again via the police radio integrated in the car.
"Chief, it's urgent. We really need you here. They're all insane!", Callahan breathed desperately.
Her dad groaned unnerved and grumbled, "They can't do anything on their own…", before picking up the radio and replying, "I'm on my way. I just need to drop off my daughter first. Won't be there within the next fifteen minutes. So, you need to handle it on your own for a bit longer."
El grabbed her dad's arm. "You can drop me off at the station. I can walk from there."
Hopper quickly looked over at her. "You're sure?"
"Absolutely. It's nice and warm; I can walk home. Don't worry about it."
"Okay.", her dad smiled grateful at her and into the police radio he spoke, "Change of plans. I'll be there in two minutes."
Shortly after her dad parked in front of the dull brick building, that was the Hawkins police station. They exited the car and El grabbed her weekend bag from the back seat. The moment they stepped outside, they were already able to hear the fight, that seemed to go on inside, from their current position on the parking lot.
"What the hell?!", Hopper sighed heavily before he turned to El and hugged her quickly. "See you next week, kiddo."
"Bye, dad.", she replied and added, while he rushed to the entrance, "You've got to tell me all the details about this next weekend." Her father laughed dryly in response and went inside.
El knelt down to open her bag and searched for her Walkman. Once she put on the earphones, pressed on play, and shouldered her weekend bag, she started into the direction of her home.
She enjoyed walking the rather empty streets. It was not even 11 o'clock and most people seemed to be still at home, using the Sunday for a lie in.
The sun was shining down on her, but it was still pleasant. The afternoon would surely become unbearably hot, but until then she relished the warmth that surrounded her. She listened to the soft music on her Walkman, humming lightly with it.
Say, say, say what you want
But don't play games with my affection
Take, take, take what you need
But don't leave me with no direction
All alone, I sit home by the phone
Waiting for you, baby (baby)
Through the years
How can you stand to hear
My pleading for you dear?
You know I'm crying, ooh ooh ooh ooh
El was suddenly torn out of her absent-minded walk by an abrupt and rapid movement. Wide eyed her head shot up, as it was priorly looking down at the pavement. Her heart raced from the panic that resulted from the unexpected interruption.
El's gaze fell on the cause of it in form of her dark-haired best friend. Mike stood in front of her, half sitting on his bike, half falling off to the floor from his heavy laughing. El looked at him in disbelief, only calming down slowly. She took off her headphones and put them around her neck.
"Mike!", she squeaked as soon as she felt able to speak again. "What the hell was that?!"
"I saw you walking down the street and called after you, but I guess you didn't hear me.", he explained, grinning widely, and pointing at her headphones. "So, I decided to surprise you."
"By nearly running me over?!", she asked sarcastically.
"Nah, I didn't run you over; only have hit the brakes hard in front of you.", Mike replied innocently, before a mischievous grin spread across his face. "And you know, I cannot let an opportunity pass, if it presents itself on a silver platter." El glared at him upon his remark about the fact that ever since that day at Lover's Lake two years ago, he had made it his personal mission to scare her whenever an opportunity presented itself to him. As El loved hearing to music on her Walkman and got lost in it way too often, it happened rather frequently.
"But what are you doing here anyway? I thought you were still at your dad's place.", Mike continued as if nothing had happened.
"He was called into the police station, so we had to leave earlier and, on the way home, the situation at the station got worse, so I offered to walk home from there.", El explained.
"What can be that urgent on a Sunday morning here in Hawkins that calls for the Chief's immediate attention?", Mike questioned.
"Apparently some kind of battle of the vegetables.", she laughed.
"Aha, and what's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know exactly, but the involved parties must have thrown groceries at each other."
Mike stared at her for a moment in disbelief before erupting in laughter, too. "Oh my god, that sounds hilarious. I would have loved to see that.", he exclaimed.
El just shrugged in response. Even though she was curious about the backstory of the argument, she was happy not to be involved in the mess. She could think of better things, than getting lettuce thrown at herself.
"How comes that you are up so early on a Sunday?", she asked instead. It was not typical for him to be awake and fully dressed out on the streets this early on the weekend.
"I've been to the library to get some books.", Mike pointed at his backpack, that El hadn't noticed so far.
A bit surprised by the response, she questioned him further. "What did you borrow?"
She noticed a blush appearing on his cheeks. "Uhm, I got some books for my school project."
"You mean the one that you're running with Trish?" El knew, that Mike had been allocated to work on a Biology school project with Trish three weeks ago and they had about two weeks left to complete the assignment. The result of the project would influence the overall mark for the term by about a fifth, so naturally Mike was eager to perform well. And even though El would never want him to not score top marks, the project was the reason, why El couldn't spent as much time with Mike as usual, and it bothered her more than she would ever admit to anyone.
"Yep… She had a good idea on Friday and we're now contemplating to add a new angle to the topic. I've just got some additional books about it, and we will investigate it in more detail on our next meeting.", Mikes eyes sparkled excitedly.
"Okay… sounds good, I guess… So, the two of you get along on the project?", El continued to ask. She was quite surprised by the evident excitement in Mike's voice. Usually, he preferred to work with one of his friends and was rather disappointed whenever he was assigned by the teacher to work with someone else. He often complained that the other students didn't care about the assignment enough, and he ended up doing all the work by his own. But this time he seemed to enjoy the work with Trish, if his bright eyes were any indication.
"Yeah, she's actually pretty cool.", Mike blushed even more, which irritated El further. She felt her heart clenching and a lump forming in her throat. She was not used to him becoming so flustered over a project partner; usually he was all professional about it no matter who the assigned person was. And he had never shown any special interest in Trish before, so why was he suddenly turning red, just from casually talking about her. Was he developing a crush on Trish?
El felt the urge to quickly change the topic, not interested in finding something out she was not prepared to deal with. "So, are you on your way home now?"
"As a matter of fact, I was pondering how to spend my time before I saw you walking down the street. I do not want to go home, yet. Mum is pissed about something dad did and she is no fun to be around right now. Only made it barely out alive of there earlier this morning.", Mike rolled his eyes.
"And did you have any idea, yet, how to spend the time?"
"Nothing precisely, but as I didn't have breakfast this morning, my stomach would highly prefer something to eat."
"What do you think about Benny's then? If you don't mind me joining, I'm happy to keep you company.", El suggested.
"I would love that. But I do not want to keep you away from anything else."
"No, you don't. I have no plans and mum doesn't expect me back home, yet anyway. So, I'm free to do whatever I like.", she grinned.
"Okay, then.", he smiled broadly at her, which caused her heart to beat faster in her chest. "You can give me your bag."
Mike took the weekend bag from her and secured it on his bike, before starting to shove it, while walking next to her in the direction of the diner. When they had been kids, El sometimes went with him on the back of his bike, but they became a bit too tall for that. It would likely only work, if she pressed herself at him using up the small space between his back and the end of the bike. But she was sure, she would die from a heart attack in the process. So, she was happy with just walking next to him.
They walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes. El stole glances at Mike, taking in his appearance. Exactly two months ago he had turned sixteen and he had changed a lot the past years. El thought back to the day at the lake a bit more than two years ago, where she had first realized her growing feelings for him. He had obviously been handsome back then, but by now he had grown further and looked more as a man than ever. El couldn't describe him any other than breathtakingly beautiful, but still with a childish sparkle in his eyes and a mischievous grin on his face, that made him look cute at the same time. His worn-out jeans together with the well-mannered polo shirt on top added up to it and El felt the urge to just grab him by the collar of his shirt and snog him senseless…
When they reached Benny's, Mike secured his bike at the stand and opened the door for her.
The diner was rather plain regarding its interior design, but no one cared as everybody knew that it offered the best burgers in town. In the evening this place was often filled to the brim, but on this Sunday morning only a handful of people were present. Therefore, they had a lot of tables to choose from.
El pointed at a place by the window. "Shall we go for that one?" Mike nodded in agreement, and they went over and took a seat opposite of each other.
Mike offered her the menu, but El shook her head. "Thanks, but I know already what I will take." As she visited the restaurant regularly with her dad, she knew the offer by heart.
Mike opened the menu himself and scanned the breakfast section. "And what will you go for?", he asked her, while reading.
El grinned widely. "Waffles of course!"
Mike laughed out loud. "Why did I even ask?!"
In that moment Benny appeared at their table, with a dirty apron around his waist and a crooked smile on his lips.
Benny Hammond was a semi-bald, burly man, who owned the diner; his appearance was intimidating at first sight, but everyone knew he was a teddy bear on the inside. "Hey El. How are you doing?", he acknowledged her cheerfully.
"Good, thank you Benny. How about you?", she smiled warmly up at the man.
"Fine, fine. Where's Hopper today?"
"He was called to the station this morning. Some escalated argument that required his immediate attention."
"I see. And who's your friend over here?", he asked, winking at El playfully.
El blushed, "Uhm… that's my best friend Mike." She unnecessarily pointed at the boy opposite of her.
"Oh yeah, you are Ted and Karen's son, right?", he questioned Mike, who nodded in agreement. "So, what can I get the two of you?"
"I'd like the scrambled eggs and a Coke, please.", Mike started.
"And I go for the waffles and a vanilla milkshake.", El added happily.
"Such a sweet tooth, that one.", Benny addressed Mike, who grinned and responded, "Oh, I know!"
"I bet you do…", Benny replied mischievously. El glared at the man for his innuendo, but he just continued to grin and turned towards the kitchen.
"So, you are visiting this place often with your dad?", Mike picked up the conversation, either oblivious to Benny's playful mocking or choosing to ignore it.
"Yes, we quite often do. Whenever we had enough of frozen pizza or dad wants to eat a double cheeseburger. And sometimes we come also here for breakfast on Sundays. We just been last week, after one of our hiking tours."
"And have you been to any place this weekend?", Mike inquired.
"No, we stayed at the cabin yesterday and renovated my room. It was time for a makeover and dad let me choose a new wall colour and some new furniture. That room hasn't changed much since he moved there and so he agreed that I could put a more personal touch to it. The room is now super nice. I chose a light lilac wall colour and added white furniture to it. Dad made fun of me that it looks so girly now, but I somehow like it this way. It's a nice contrast to the otherwise rustical cabin."
"Sounds good; you should show me at some point. I haven't been there in ages."
"Uhm, sure. Just need to find a good time for it. Dad is a bit tense about boys visiting me there."
"What does that mean?", Mike asked astonished. „I have been there a few times when we were younger. It never seemed to be a problem back then."
"Well, since I became older, he keeps saying that I shall not invite any boys when he's not around. And if anyone is visiting, I shall stay in the living room and not invite them into my room. Not that it really matters, because except for you no other boy has ever visited me there anyway, not even Will, Dustin or Lucas."
Mike laughed incredulously, "What is he thinking we would be doing in your room?! Make out or something?"
El blushed heavily, as pictures of the two of them on her new bed popped up in her head, where she would be lying on her back and Mike would be on top of her, as his body pinned her down to the mattress, and his lips would be doing incredible things to her neck... She was sure, that her dad had exactly that in mind when he was announcing the rules to her.
Luckily, Benny reappeared with their drinks in that second, before she had to come up with any reply to Mike's question. "Here are your Coke and the vanilla milkshake. Enjoy.", he placed the drinks in front of them. "I'll be back with your breakfast soon."
El grabbed the drink in front of her eagerly and took a sip from the cold milkshake, enjoying the cool and creamy texture. She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment.
A chuckle tore her out of the indulgence. "I don't know anyone that enjoys sweet things that much. It's like you are always experiencing it for the first time, you're relishing it like you never tasted anything like it before.", Mike observed in fascination.
"I'm not that bad…", El mumbled defensively.
"Oh yes, you are, but it's cute.", Mike laughed, making El blush again. She couldn't stop herself doing it whenever he would say something like that to her.
"So, what are your plans for the summer holidays?", he continued their carefree conversation.
"Nothing much really. Dad said the other day that we could go on a camping trip for a full weekend, and I will be visiting aunt Becky with mum for a few days. But other than that, I will be free to do whatever I want. So, I really hope that you and the rest of the party will be around. Otherwise, I will have nothing to look forward to."
"No worries, I will keep you company. I will just be on holiday with mum, dad, and Holly for two weeks, but apart from that I will be at home. That should give us enough time to do some cool stuff together.", Mike retorted.
El smiled widely. "We could go to the lake for swims and picnics, or now that we can drive, we could even go into the city or to the next fun fair. What do you think?"
"Sounds awesome. And me and the guys can play D&D for whole days without mum interrupting, arguing that we 'need to study' or 'retire to bed, as it's a school day on the following morning'."
El rolled her eyes but laughed anyway. "I didn't have exactly that in mind, but if you at least come out of the basement from time to time, I won't complain."
"Yeah sure, we will find enough time for other activities, too."
"I will hold you up to it.", El warned playfully. "Otherwise, I'm forced to look for some new friends that are willing to spend time outside of their basement with me."
"Oh really?!", Mike raised an eyebrow. "And you think you actually find another bunch of guys that are as funny, friendly, smart, adventurous, ingenious, and not to forget as handsome as we are?!"
"You forgot to mention 'as presumptuous as you are' … You might be right, it could be hard to find such a bunch of self-centred douchebags.", she mocked.
Mike pouted his lips and looked at her with puppy-dog eyes, while she tried to hide behind a mask of fake indifference. El grabbed the straw and took a few more sips from her milkshake, enjoying its taste. It distracted her enough not to crack, but she anyway grinned slightly, keeping the head down so Mike wouldn't catch upon it.
"But admit it…", she heard him speak again and looked up, astonished by his change of tone. He was leaning in and breathed the words overly flirtingly. "You loooove that about us."
El stared at him perplexed for a few seconds before she couldn't hold it any longer and laughed whole heartedly. She bent forward in her seat holding her stomach, trying to calm down again, but she just laughed even more hysterically.
Mike grinned at her mischievously. "See, no one else could make you laugh like that. If I would be you, I would stick with us douchebags."
El was saved from an answer by Benny again, who brought their food this time, and placed it on the tabletop.
While Mike started eating immediately, being obviously very hungry, El still needed some time to fully calm down. She used the opportunity to stare at him unnoticed for a moment.
It always felt so easy with him, and she couldn't help thinking how great they would work together. How couldn't he see that they were made for each other? To El it was so obvious, they were best friends, they knew each other by heart, and they were everything to the other one. Getting together was just the final step to share even the most intimate things. El would give everything to be able to touch him without thinking, look at him hours on end and kiss him with the passion she felt for him.
She cut a small piece from the plate of waffles before her and put it into her mouth, chewing on it slowly. A small hope crept up inside of her, that maybe this summer something would change. Maybe they could find more time for themselves, like today's wonderful Sunday morning, and maybe, just maybe, he would look at her differently one day.
They continued to talk about this and that, while they enjoyed their late breakfast. After they finished, they stayed for a little while longer before they paid and stepped out of the diner.
Mike picked up his bike and the two of them slowly walked back home. By now the sun had rose further up and burned down on them. El was very thankful that she had not to carry her bag, as it was secured on Mike's bike again, which he pulled along next to him.
It took them about half an hour to reach their street and El was a bit disappointed, as it meant they had to part ways. Her mum was surely waiting for her by now, expecting Hopper to drop her off around this time of day. And Mike had mentioned on their way back, that he needed to go through the books that he had lend at the library this morning.
When they stood in front of her house, Mike handed her the bag. "Thanks for this morning. This was way better than being around my mum."
"Any time. See you tomorrow." And with that they parted ways and El went home, a lucky smile on her lips.
08. June 1987
The remaining day had passed by uneventful, being an average, lazy Sunday afternoon.
Also, the next day started as every Monday. She met up with Mike after breakfast and they biked together to school, where they met their other friends.
After a usual, boring school day (the most eventful thing happening was a heated discussion Lucas and Max were having at Lunch, followed by a make out session as reconciliation, that made all others at the table look down embarrassedly), El and her friends went back home together. As always, they one by one headed off in the direction of their respective homes until only Mike and El were left. And like any other Monday she went home with Mike to spend the afternoon at his house.
Just basic routine, like every other day, nothing being out of the ordinary.
But as so often, when you think you know how something is about to turn out, and you let yourself engulf in a false security, destiny strikes and knocks you off your feet. And as El was certain that nothing unusual would happen, she was proven wrong on that fateful Monday. Because something did happen, and it started with a simple sentence by her best friend.
"El, I'm sorry, but Trish will come around later for our project. We decided earlier today to meet up and continue with it. As I digged into the books yesterday, I found some promising aspects, that will perfectly add up to Trish's idea and we want to investigate that approach further. She's still at Cheerleader practice right now, but she will come over afterwards. I hope this is okay for you."
"Yes, sure.", she replied. "I can understand that you want to complete it in time and with a good grade. Don't worry about me."
Mike smiled grateful at her and on that note El left an hour earlier than usual.
She had noticed that in the time up to her departure, Mike had become more and more nervous, but she had pushed the strange feeling, she was having, aside.
And as it happens so often, the events are set loose, without you even realizing it. The inevitable is looming above you like a dark cloud, and your senses are on edge, knowing that something is about to change. But mostly we don't even know what it is that we are afraid of, so we are forced to remain still, watching as the world around us is about to turn upside down.
So, when El went home, she felt uncomfortable and nervous, dreading the unknown, and even though she couldn't pinpoint it, the feeling remained until she finally fell asleep later that night.
09. June 1987
The next morning El awoke and she felt like she hadn't slept at all, but nonetheless, she dragged herself up and got ready for school.
Breakfast was a quiet affair, as she still felt too tired to hold up a proper conversation with her mum.
After she had finished and had gathered her school stuff, El stepped outside where Mike was already waiting for her, impatiently rocking from one foot to another. He grinned widely at her and El felt immediately a lot more awake, as her heart skipped a beat.
"Good Morning, El.", he exclaimed rather enthusiastically for a Tuesday morning.
She just waved in reply, and they took off in the direction of school. On their way they met Lucas and Max, the later telling them excitedly how she had defeated Lucas at the arcade the prior day. They chatted along and when they reached school, meeting Dustin and Will, El's strange feeling from the night before was long forgotten.
The sun was shining brightly down on them and together with Mike's great mood, El was about to think that this could become a great day. Maybe they could all go to the ice parlour later or just enjoy the nice weather in Mike's garden?
While El pictured all the possibilities they had for this afternoon, they parked their bikes and were about to go inside of the school building, when they heard someone fast approaching their little group and a female voice called out, "Mike, wait up."
Being curious, they all stopped and turned towards the speaker, just in time to see Trish running the last few meters towards them and throwing herself at Mike. Without any warning she slung her arms around his neck and pressed her lips on his.
It was in that moment that the world stopped turning and all air was hit out of El's lungs.
She couldn't breathe.
She couldn't move.
She couldn't think, not able to comprehend anything.
She could only stare open-mouthed at the scenery playing out in front of her.
With horror she witnessed his arms going around her waist and him starting to kiss her back. They were pressed together, as if they were one, shutting out the outside world. They seemed to have forgotten about his friends around them, and the other students that bent their necks passing the little group, trying to get a look at the scenery in hope of finding out something new to gossip about.
All they seemed to care about was the dance their lips were performing in unison.
El's mind was blank, no thought forming in her head. The only thing she felt were thousand emotions rushing through her body, paralysing her.
And suddenly there was just pain left.
Physical pain.
Psychological pain.
Emotional pain.
The first shock hadn't allowed anything inside of her to function, but her heart seemed to be the first part that awoke from the spell. It clenched maddeningly in her chest like never before and she felt tears spring to her eyes.
Before any of those tears could fall, her brain luckily started to function enough to tell her body what to do, and she hastily wiped them away with the back of her hand.
She couldn't lose it now. Not here, on the school grounds, surrounded by her friends and hundreds of other students, not when she hadn't even processed properly what happened in front of her. What did this mean? How was any of that possible?
She needed some answers, as her mind was clearly unable to come up with any.
Suddenly, El heard Dustin's voice coming through the fog that surrounded her. She had blend out anyone around from her peripheral vision, except for the kissing boy and girl in front of her. "Wow, did I miss the latest memo or something? What's going on here?"
Disturbed by Dustin's loud interjection, Mike and Trish parted slowly. Or at least their lips did, as they remained in each other's arms, pressed up closely to one another. Mike looked dazed and had a dopey grin on his lips that made El's heart clench even more.
Without taking his gaze off the girl in his arms, Mike replied, "Dustin, this is Trish… my girlfriend."
If El had felt pain before, it was nothing compared to the moment that Mike confirmed what had been obvious the second Trish had thrown her arms around his neck. But hearing his beautiful voice saying the words out loud, made it a hundred times worse. She felt her legs becoming weak and she knew that she couldn't stand upright much longer, but she couldn't bring herself to move away.
Will was the next to speak. "Congratulations to both of you. That's awesome. When did this happen?"
"Uhm yesterday…", Mike mumbled slightly embarrassed, as it seemed to sink in on his part, what a scene they had caused and that they had abruptly become the centre of attention, but Trish stepped in and added dreamily. "We met yesterday for our project and during that it just happened… and we kissed." She beamed up at Mike, who towered over her and gazed down on her lovingly. "And at the end he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. It was so cute!" Trish leaned up and pressed a kiss on Mike's cheek, which instantly turned a reddish colour.
Lucas clapped Mike on the shoulder and cheered, "Well done, man."
El remained shellshocked, listening to all that was said and seeing everything happening before her, but her mind and body were strangely disconnected from each other. It was as if she watched from the outside, like it was just a movie playing and her being the audience. Her body was in the present, a cold sweat running down her neck, the force of the heartache letting her full body tremble, but her mind had distanced itself from the situation, as if she was observing it all through a thick fog, not letting her fully see through everything.
She knew, she was ought to say something, too, but her mouth felt dry, and no words were forming on her lips.
While the boys congratulated the new pair and continued their questioning, El's view was suddenly blocked by a pale redhead. Max took both of El's shaking hands in hers and whispered, "Come with me."
Without waiting for any reply, she pulled El away from the scenery towards the school building. El couldn't concentrate on her surroundings, her view blurry from tears that started to form in her eyes again. Her legs moved on their own account, just following the girl that was dragging her along. She couldn't tell where they were going, as all her surroundings had faded into a greyish blur of the dreary school building.
Finally, a door was pushed open and El found herself in one of the ladies' washrooms. Max leaned her against a wall, before checking the cabins if anybody else was around. As soon as El lost contact to Max's hand, her body gave in and she glided down the wall to the ground, no longer able to hold herself up another second. The tears started to stream down her cheeks, and she burrowed her face in her hands.
Max had finished her check and as they seemed to be alone, she knelt down in front of El. Her arms slung around her friend, who gave in to the hug and let herself sob loudly into Max's shoulder.
El couldn't tell how long they remained like this, as she lost track of time. At some point, through the clouds of tears, she heard the bell ring, signalling the start of the first period, but neither she nor Max moved.
The hot tears ran down her cheeks in a continuous stream. Her nose was running, her eyes were starting to hurt, and her breathing was flat, not filling her lungs fully with the much-needed oxygen. Every part of her body ached, the stinging eyes, the irritated nose, the strained lungs, the pained muscles, but most of all her shattered heart.
How could it be that she had just felt her heart skipping a beat from the smile, that he had thrown in her direction this morning, only for the same heart to be ripped out of her chest by him shortly after? How was it possible that someone had such power over her emotions, being able to destroy her in the blink of an eye, by kissing another girl in front of her?
Why hadn't she seen it coming? Why had she still woken up every single day, thinking that it could be different this time? That his feelings towards her could have suddenly changed overnight?
Because she had fooled herself, El thought bitterly. She had always thought that if she would just patiently wait long enough, he would catch up with her. That he would reciprocate her feelings one day, because that was the only thing that made sense in her mind. She hadn't thought it possible that he could fall for someone else, being naïve enough to believe in true love, that didn't allow room for any other girl.
And while she had been lost in a hopeless dream, the life around her had continued, and reality had hit her unannounced.
When the need for air became too much to bear, she reluctantly raised her head gasping quickly.
Max rummaged through her backpack and retrieved a pack of tissues, that El happily accepted. She used several ones to clean her nose and to dry her face, feeling a tiny bit better afterwards, at least being able to breathe again.
When El looked at Max properly for the first time since she approached her on the school grounds, her friend decided it was a good opportunity to speak to El. "I'm so sorry sweetheart." She looked so sincere when saying this, that El nearly started to cry all over again.
Gasping for air, she stammered, "I can't… I don't understand… I mean…", before new tears interrupted her first attempt to speak.
"I know." Max squeezed her, while El was shaking in her arms from the new wave of sorrow. The stream of tears and snot was soaking Max's T-Shirt, but she didn't back off. El cling to her, her hands desperately holding onto the back of Max's shirt.
Whenever she felt herself calming down a little bit, a new thought of Mike spiralled her down again and fresh tears streamed down her face, leaving a salty taste on her lips.
This went on for minutes and El wondered how her body was still able to produce any more tears. She felt utterly drained and exhausted, the ache in her heart and lack of air becoming unbearably painful.
In a pause between sobs, Max spoke again thoughtfully, "That came quite out of nowhere..."
Upon hearing her friend's thoughts, a memory suddenly flashed through El's mind. Her eyes opening in horror, she exclaimed, "He mentioned her on Sunday!" As Max stared at her in confusion about the first full sentence she had spoken, El tried to explain it further. "I already had… h-had a… thought that maybe he had… aaa c-c-crush on her…", she sobbed loudly, while Max remained confused, not understanding a word El was saying, but she anyway rubbed El's back comfortingly.
Further minutes passed of El crying her heart out, until she calmed down enough to speak once more. "I t-thought it's ju-u-ust a small crush on his part…", she continued. "I didn't think it would be… l-l-like this…not serious." El felt herself panicking from hearing herself speak the words, that told the bitter truth, and her breathing became flat once more, not reaching her lungs. She gasped desperately, her heart racing, and her body was clenching from the lack of oxygen.
Max sensed her panic and grabbed her firmly. "El… El, look at me.", she said, her voice slightly raised to get through to El. "Calm down! Breathe in and out… in and out." El looked up to her and tried to follow her example of deeply inhaling and exhaling. Slowly, but steadily, the panic attack subsided.
Max looked at her sadly, sitting on the dirty washroom floor. "El, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say that will make you feel any better."
El blew her nose into one of the tissues again, that was soaked by now. Max, who saw it, handed her a fresh one, and slowly El cleaned her face. It seemed, like finally the tears had dried out, her body being unable to produce any more, and her breathing started to relax slightly.
With each minute passing, a bit of strength came back to her, until she was able to reply to her friend. "It's okay, Max.", El said with a husky voice, trying to reassure Max. "I'm just grateful for having you." The redhead hugged her again and they stayed like this for some time, El inhaling the well-known scent of her friend's shampoo, that seemed to have a calming effect on her.
Suddenly, another thought hit El and she realised where they were and that they were most likely half through first period already. She gasped shocked, "Max, you miss the lesson! You will get in trouble… You must go!"
Max shook her head and didn't move one bit. "Don't be silly. I will stay with you as long as necessary. They can put me in detention, I don't care. I will not leave you alone here on the floor."
El looked grateful at Max and tried to form a small smile on her lips, but her cheeks ached painfully from the effort. She wanted to hide forever in this disgusting High School washroom, huddled up on the cold tiles, but she knew that at some point they had to get out and face reality.
A new reality, where Mike was with Trish, where she was stuck in the friend zone for good, where the truth had hit her hard and unprepared on the middle of the school grounds… Another thought popped up in her head and she cried out, "Oh my god, I can't face him again!"
A new wave of sobs shook her body, before she could say anything more, and she hid her face in the palm of her hands, as if she could shield herself from the harsh reality.
"El…", Max tried to get her attention. "El, honey… Listen to me." Slowly, El looked up, her face stained from the new stream of tears. "Don't waste any thoughts on Wheeler right now; just focus on yourself. I know it's not easy, but he doesn't matter. All that matters is you and you do whatever is right for YOU now. And if you need to avoid him for a while than do it."
El stared at Max with dread written on her face and she shook her head. "But then he will know that something is wrong for sure. If he does not know that already from my behaviour earlier. I mean, I nearly broke down in front of him. I couldn't have been any more obvious if I tried. It's so embarrassing." She thought back in horror about how she must have looked earlier, shock and heartbreak written all over her face. "I can't hide, it will only make everything worse, but how am I supposed to face him ever again?!"
"I'm sorry to break it to you, but I don't think he has been paying much attention to anything in that moment.", Max said bitterly. "Wheeler has always been pretty dense, but now he seems to have lost it completely. I mean, Trish McDowell, really?!"
"Max, he's not dense.", El felt the urge to defend Mike.
"I know you love him, but that guy doesn't recognise a perfect girl in front of him, that is pretty, bright, humorous, brave, kind, caring, pure, and that for some mysterious reason is head over heels in love with him. So don't defend him. He doesn't deserve any of it, if he prefers to think with his dick rather than listening to his heart.", Max ranted annoyed.
"He seems to be pretty in love though…", El whispered sadly. Her heart clenched again in pain at the thought.
"Think whatever you like, but I'm telling you boys sometimes confuse attraction with love. I'm certain he will realise that one day and then he will find this perfect girl standing right in front of him, who is by some twist of fate his very best friend.", Max scolded. "And until then you will do whatever is right for you. If that means ignoring Wheeler for a while, then just do it. You must put yourself first now."
El's body was shaken by new sobs, wailing about the situation she was stuck in, feeling hurt, rejected, and lost, but she also cried from the overwhelming gratitude she was feeling for that girl comforting her, supporting her, but also trying to rebuild her self-confidence.
She thought back wistful to last Sunday spent with her best friend. It felt like a lifetime ago, that they had joked around, and she had felt so comfortable in his presence. She would give anything to go back to that moment, just the two of them, no girlfriend in the picture, and herself stupidly hoping that a time could come that they would become more than friends. But that seemed to be impossible now. Like a distant dream that shattered after an abrupt awakening. She had to learn to live with the harsh reality. There was no other alternative. Mike was her best friend for her entire life and losing him as a friend would be her end. Although she was heartbroken, she couldn't blame him for not returning her feelings, and her friendship with him was the most precious thing in her life.
El felt the resolution forming inside of herself, strengthening her to stand up. Max looked astonished at her friend, that walked over to the sinks and turned the water on. El splashed the warm water in her own face and starred at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red, her cheeks puffy and her lips swollen, but she tried to put on a strong expression.
She breathed in and out multiple times; she could do it. She would learn to silently watch from the side line. She could bury her feelings and put her friendship with Mike before anything else. And she would start immediately.
El turned to Max and hugged her strongly. "Thanks, Max. You're the best." She let go of her and looked directly into Max eyes. "I made up my mind. I will be able to handle it. He's still my best friend and that's all that matters in the end."
Max looked at her doubtful but didn't comment on it. El grabbed her hand and walked towards the bathroom door. She had made her decision and she was determined to go through with it. Mike had always been her best friend, and nothing would ever change that.
Lyrics:
Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?