JENNIE

I'm not sure how long I stayed on that floor, contemplating the drastic shift my life had taken. Before this tour had started, I'd been so sure that Lisa and I were soul mates, destined to be together forever. While I'd had fears that she'd finally wake up and realize that she could do so much better than me, I'd also clung to the belief that she'd never stray because I was the first person she'd let into her heart. I'd believed that that had sealed us, cemented us together. But maybe, all it had done was branded her body. Maybe my name tattooed across her chest was enough, a symbolic representation of how I'd opened her, freed her to love herself…and others.

And now, now that we were over, I was sure she would love again. I was sure that she'd get back on the road, banging groupies left and right until she got over her heartbreak, and then she'd find her. She'd be sweet, maybe shy, and she'd have complete faith in her. Because their relationship wouldn't have started like ours did.

We'd started out with a betrayal. We'd both watched each other lie to a loved one. We'd both watched each other sleep with other people, all the while being in love with one another. Desperately in love. Watching that sort of betrayal, being a part of it…it soured you.

We both knew what we were capable of. Maybe we'd doomed ourselves from the very beginning. Maybe I'd done it. When Taehyung had come back from Tucson, I should have told him what had happened while he was away. It would have ended us, but we were already over. It would have been a clean break, an honest break. Maybe then, Lisa and I would have had a chance.

Staring at my bedroom ceiling, sleep impossible, I clutched my cell phone, waiting for Lisa to call me and tell me that she didn't mean it, that she hadn't broken up with me. She didn't call though, and I knew that she'd soon be rejoining her band tour…and I'd never see her again.

Biting my lip, I debated if I should break down and call her. What would I say? What could I say? I could only plead my innocence, but Lisa didn't seem to believe me. She had for a brief moment, but then… Whatever faith she'd had in me was gone now. And I really wasn't sure why.

Running my hands back through my hair, I considered calling Jisoo and asking her to come home. She was staying at a friend's house, finally feeling happy enough to rejoin her social circle. I didn't really want to drag her back down with my depression. Maybe I could call Somi?

Just as I was considering punching in her numbers, my phone chirped at me, telling me I'd just received a text message. Hoping against hope that Lisa was talking to me, I scanned the screen.

I sighed. It was from Taehyung, not Lisa. Biting my lip, I opened the message. 'Just checking on you…everything okay?'

Not sure if anything would be okay again, I texted back, 'No…Lisa broke up with me.'

At least, I think that's what I wrote. I couldn't see past the tears to be sure. By Taehyung's answer, it must have been.

'I'll be there in five.'

I wanted to object, to tell him that he didn't have to give up a night's sleep for me, since he did have to go to work in a few hours. But I didn't respond, because I really didn't want to be alone.

Sniffling into my pillow, I waited for the hole in my heart to stop stabbing me with pain. I waited to not feel like my life was over. That's all I felt, though…that everything was over. Every happiness I was ever going to have in my life, I'd already had. Every joy, I'd already felt. I thought of every time Lisa and I had been together. If I'd known that it would end so abruptly, maybe I would have cherished each moment a little more.

But then I realized…I had. I'd always cataloged every second with her. Memorized every feature about her, every word she'd said, every placed she'd touched. I'd known. Some scared, insecure part of me had known we wouldn't make it…so I'd savored her. My sobs started back up.

My bedroom door cracked open a while later and a soft sigh met my ear. I sat up on an elbow as Taehyung stood in my doorframe. In my grief, I must not have locked the front door after Lisa left. Then again, even if I'd been thinking straight, I don't think I could have locked the door behind her. I could never shut Lisa out like that.

Taehyung looked tired as he watched me, his dark eyes sympathetic. Smiling softly, he sat on the edge of my bed, the bed Lisa and I had made love in, not too long ago. "I'm so sorry, Jennie…I really am."

I nodded and threw my arms around Taehyung. He sighed into my hair as he rubbed my back. As I held him close, I waited to feel…something…for him. I didn't, though. Even in my grief, even knowing Lisa and I were done, I felt nothing for him but an overwhelming desire for his friendship.

Relieved that I felt that way, I squeezed him tighter. "She's gone, Taehyung. She said she was done. She said goodbye… and she meant it."

Taehyung sighed again, returning my firm hug. "Is this because of me…or because of what Lisa's been hiding from you?"

I blinked and pulled back to look at him. Taehyung shrugged. "Maybe she feels guilty for what she's done. Maybe she wanted an out…and you gave her one?"

I sniffled and wiped my face off on a blanket. "I don't know…she won't talk to me." Anger crept into me at the thought that maybe all of that argument had been more about Lisa's guilt over her whore, and not about her catching Taehyung and I together.

Tightening my jaw, I spat out, "She told me that she believed me about you and I only being friends. Then she had sex with me. Then she dumped me! Who does that?"

I flushed over explaining what had happened with Lisa so bluntly to Taehyung, but he only sighed and shook his head. "I don't know, Jennie…I'm sorry."

As Taehyung's eyes flashed over my face, concerned, I saw the same friendship that I felt for him reflected back to me. That's all there was between us on his side, too. Abby had his heart, and she would probably never do to him what Lisa had just done to me. And why did she do it? If Lisa didn't trust me, if she didn't believe me, why didn't she just break up with me? Why have sex with me first? One final romp? God, that…pissed me off.

Pushing back from Taehyung, I scrunched my brows. "Can you do me a huge favor?"

He nodded, his expression confused but eager to help. "Yeah, of course, anything."

Unraveling myself from my blankets, I stood. "I need a ride, and Jisoo has the car."

Taehyung tentatively stood, eyeing me warily as I threw a sweatshirt over the tank top of my pajamas. "Um, a ride where, Jennie?" His accent slid over my name as his question came out slowly and cautiously.

Sliding my feet into some slip-on shoes, I twirled my hair up into a loose ponytail. "A ride to Lisa's."

Taehyung sighed, apparently fearing that was where I'd wanted to go. "Jennie, maybe you should just let this one go…?"

Standing straight, I glared at him. "I can't…let her go, Taehyung. I love her, and if she's going to leave me, then I'm going to know why. I'm going to find out the truth." Grabbing Taehyung's arm, I started pulling him out the door. "Even if I have to beat it out of her…" I muttered.

Taehyung sighed again.

He was silent on the drive over to Lisa's, probably wondering how to talk me out of this conversation I was about to have. I hoped I'd have the strength to have it, but really, I didn't have anything to lose. Lisa and I were over, what could she possibly say to me now that would hurt worse than that?

More, I just hoped she was home. She could have gone straight back to the airport, trying to catch an immediate flight back to…wherever her band was. I just prayed that she needed a minute to collect herself. Hopefully the end of our relationship was enough to make her need a moment alone.

When her car was in the drive when we pulled up, I exhaled in relief. She was here. At least she was still here. Then my nerves crept up. She was here…and we'd have to have the conversation we'd held off on having for so long. It tightened my stomach and I immediately wanted to go home. Instead, I opened my door.

Taehyung cracked his too and I paused, shaking my head. "No, it will only make it worse if you come in." Sighing, I said, "Thank you for doing this…but you can go home now."

His dark brows bunched as he looked over my face. "Jennie, I don't think…"

I placed my hand on his arm. "I'll be fine, Taehyung, and you've done enough. More than enough." Smiling, I tilted my head at him. "Go home, get some sleep while you can…" Smiling wider, I added, "Or go call Abby and tell her how grateful you are to have her. I know she'd love to hear it." I laughed, feeling no humor in me.

Taehyung smiled and looked down. "Yeah, maybe I'll do that." Peeking back up at me, his eyes narrowed. "You call me, though…when this is over." He raised his eyebrow and waited until I responded.

I sighed, a sadness washing over me. "Yeah…I will." Leaning over, I kissed his cheek. "Thank you, friend."

He smiled as I pushed open the door of his sporty rental. "Anytime…mate."

I grinned at the nickname he'd never, ever used on me, then stood and waited in front of the car. Waving as he backed away, I quietly thanked him again. I couldn't see his response through the glass, but I was sure he was shaking his head at me, wishing me well, but thinking I was crazy for coming here.

Twisting back to Lisa's house, I started to agree with him. Maybe I was crazy for coming here, especially since Lisa had been quite clear about the fact that things between us were no more, but I had to know. She knew what I'd been hiding…I had to know what she was hiding.

Exhaling shakily, I stepped up to her front door. Not wanting to use my key, since technically I shouldn't anymore, I quietly knocked on it. I didn't expect her to hear me, so I was preparing to knock even harder when the door cracked open.

Lisa's cool eyes stared at me through the crack, then she rolled them and shut the door in my face. Not expecting that, I blinked and stared at the heavy wood in my vision. Did she seriously just slam the door on me?

Irritation beating back my nerves, I opened the door. Surprisingly, it was unlocked. Lisa's back was the first thing I noticed—her back walking away from me again. After stepping in, I slammed the door behind me. she flinched and twisted to look at me.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her shaggy hair. "I'm not doing this, Jennie. I'm not having this conversation again…we're over."

She twisted around again and I grabbed her arm. "No, we're not, Lisa! Not until you tell me the truth."

She twisted to face me, her eyes dark with fury. "You first!"

I sighed, releasing her arm. Throwing my hands in the air, I sputtered, "I did! I told you the truth about Taehyung. Nothing happened! Goddamn it, why don't you believe that anymore? Or did you ever really believe me? Was that a lie just to have sex with me one last time?"

Her face paled as her jaw dropped. "You think I knew that I was going to break up with you before I slept with you? You think I'd even touch you, if I knew what I know now!" her eyes flashed down my body again and I flushed, furious.

"And what the hell do you think you know!"

Her face disgusted, she backed away from me. "You still can't be honest, can you?" Gritting her jaw, she lifted her chin defiantly. "I saw, Jennie. I saw the tests…the positive tests." Her face darkening, she took a step towards me. "You shoved them in my drawer, with my clothes, just so I'd find them! Did you really think I'd stick around once I did?"

My jaw dropping, I took a step back. "What are you talking about?"

My nerves tingled as I started piecing together what she was so angry about. She didn't let me puzzle it out for long, though. Her hands flinging to my body, she yelled, "I know you're fucking pregnant, Jennie, so stop acting like you're fucking innocent!"

I was speechless as I stared at her. I could clearly remember Jisoo, in her denial stage, shoving a paper bag full of positive pregnancy tests into my dresser drawer…Lisa's dresser drawer. She must have wanted to put on some clean clothes after our romp. She must have opened the drawer and seen them…and assumed they were mine.

And of course she would assume that. Why wouldn't she? They were in my room, in the drawer I'd set aside for her. God, did she really think I'd ever tell her something that serious like that? How cold did she think I was?

I shook my head and her eyes sharpened dangerously. "Don't even try and deny it now. Not now, now that you know I know. Admit it, Jennie. Admit the truth…for once in your life." Her face softened and I saw the sorrow in her eyes. She thought I was pregnant. She thought Taehyung got me pregnant while she was gone…

I shook my head again, stepping up to her. "Lisa, no, Taehyung and I didn't—"

She cut me off, shoving me back from where I'd tried to touch her. "Don't, Jennie. Don't give me another half-truth. You lied about Taehyung being here!" I shook my head and she added, "No, Jennie, a lie of omission is still a lie!" She leaned into me, "You should know that better than anyone," she whispered.

I flushed and swallowed, wanting to assure her that I wasn't the one who was pregnant, but not knowing how to at this point. She wouldn't believe anything I said right now. Having no idea what to say, I found myself whispering, "I've only been with you…"

She curled her lips into a sneer. "Until today, we hadn't had sex since December," her eyes rested on my stomach, "and I intimately know that you're not showing yet, so you're not four or five months along." Her hate-filled eyes flashed up to mine. "I'm not stupid, Jennie…I know the kid isn't mine."

I swallowed and tried to tell her that I wasn't pregnant, but she didn't let me speak. Bringing her face right into mine, she seethed, "If you're still going to try denying that you slept with Taehyung, then go ahead, Jennie…tell me the only thing you can. Tell me you were raped." Her eyes flashed, the anger in them powerful enough to make my knees start shaking. "I dare you," she added.

My jaw dropped at where she'd taken the conversation. Anger surged through me and my hand came out to smack her. I was inches from her face when I stopped my hand. I couldn't blame her for saying that to me, thinking what she thought. It was her history coming around to bite me in the ass. Her mom had done it to her dad, and her dad had hated Lisa for it, in utero.

Lisa didn't even flinch from my near-strike. She only continued staring me down. I dropped my hand and Lisa smirked at me. Shaking her head, she quietly said, "You can leave now."

My eyes tearing up, I whispered, "You're so wrong…"

Turning away from me, she started walking into the living room. "Am I?" she tossed over her shoulder.

Balling my hands into fists, I started to follow her. "Yes, you are completely off on this one. I didn't sleep with Taehyung, I didn't sleep with anyone. I'm not the one who—"

Her jacket, hanging on a hook near me, chirped, signaling a new text message. Remembering why I'd really come here— to get the truth from her, the hypocrite— I made a beeline for her coat. Her eyes widened as she realized what I was doing.

"Jennie, no!"

She moved towards me fast, but I was much faster. I had the phone retrieved and the message displayed before she got anywhere near me. Shaking my head, I read the text aloud to her. "Call me. I need to see you." My voice shook in my own sudden anger.

Lisa's face was pale as she looked at the phone and my eyes, seeming like she was afraid about what I might do. Her hand shaking, she extended it to me. "Please, give it back, Jennie."

Gripping it tighter, my body shaking as her secret started bubbling to the surface, I shook my head. "No, no I think I'll text the hussy back." I started to type in a message, but Lisa…flipped out.

Running to my side, she snatched the phone away and shoved my shoulder. She'd pushed me into the jacket hooks and a flash of pain went through me as I scraped against one. I winced and rubbed my arm. Lisa's eyes softened apologetically, but she clenched the phone to herself in relief.

Shaking my head, tears in my eyes, I snapped, "Who's the liar now, Lisa!"

She shook her head, her face still pale. "This is different. This isn't about you and me."

I put my hands on my hips, confused. "Then tell me the truth. What are you hiding?"

Her eyes flashed to my body, hardening up again. "It doesn't concern you, and I don't have to tell you anything anymore."

Stubborn, angry tears leaking down my cheeks, I threw my hands in the air. "Fine, keep your fucking secrets, Lisa." She blinked at my seldom used swear, then gritted her jaw.

Knowing nothing good would happen if I stayed, I twisted back to the front door. She did nothing to stop me from opening it. The cool night air refreshing my face, I paused as I stared out into the empty night. Feeling just as empty inside, I tossed over my shoulder, "And just so you know, I'm not pregnant, asshole…Jisoo is. Jackson knocked her up in Boise and she's freaking out about it."

With those words, I stepped outside, slamming the door shut behind me.

I was halfway across the street, having no idea where I was going, since I didn't feel like going anywhere, when Lisa opened her front door. "Jennie, wait!" She yelled at me to stop, but I didn't. We were done. I didn't have to listen to her anymore…and I was pretty pissed off.

I was on the other side of the street when she finally caught up to me. Breathing heavier, she jerked my arm to make me stop. A slight wind whipped around the light lounge pants I was wearing, but I barely felt the chill. I had way too much adrenaline in me.

Her gorgeous face looking like I'd just told her that pigs had started flying, she stared at me open-mouthed. "Jisoo? Jisoo's pregnant?"

I jerked my arm away from her, raising my chin. "Yes." My answer was crisp, as clipped as I could make the sound.

She flinched at my tone, then tenderly tried to put her hand on my arm. I pulled away, not letting her touch me. "Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered.

I sighed, feeling the tug of love in my soul as her sad eyes flicked over my face. I wanted to forgive her for everything, but I couldn't. I didn't trust her. "Jisoo made me promise not to say anything." Hanging my head, I added, "She's not sure if she's going…to keep it."

Lisa's body straightened in my vision. I peeked up at her face, the light wind ruffling her hair. Her eyes were cautious. "She's not…she's not going to…"

She swallowed, not finishing her question. I shook my head, understanding it. "No, she's going through with the pregnancy, she's just not sure about…adoption." I sighed again, hoping my sister didn't go that route. Even being half-Jackson, I wanted to know my niece or nephew. It wasn't my choice, though, and I'd support her, no matter what she decided.

Lisa let out an exhale. "Oh, good, I'd hate for…"

She trailed off and bit her lip. I watched her contemplative eyes. Lisa could have been an aborted baby, her mom had had reason enough. I supposed she had a strong feeling on the matter, since she could have easily never been born. I wondered how she felt about adoption, since that might have been an easier childhood for her. Then I hardened my heart again. It didn't matter what she thought…not anymore.

Just as Lisa rolled her eyes and muttered, "Damn Jackson…I'm gonna kill him…" I twisted to keep walking down the street to nowhere.

Lisa didn't let me get five paces before grabbing my arm again. "Wait…please." I reluctantly looked back at her and she shrugged. "I'm sorry, Jennie…please don't walk away."

Pain and anger stinging my eyes, I removed her hand from mine. "You basically called me a whore and said you never wanted to see me again. Why shouldn't I walk away?"

Hanging her head, she shrugged. "I didn't know." She peeked up at me. "I thought… Seeing Taehyung here…and then…those tests…" She swallowed and closed her eyes. "I just thought…I thought what happened to my dad happened to me. I thought you had another man's baby in you. I was just…angry. I've never felt that ill…" She opened her eyes and tilted her head. "I'm so sorry that I didn't believe you."

I nodded, understanding how she'd come to the conclusion she had. Her face relaxed at seeing me acknowledge her apology. She started to wrap her arms around me and I stiffened, pushing her back. She scrunched her brows together and I lifted my hand, showing her the ring encircling my finger.

"I kept my promise…I was faithful." I jerked my thumb back at the house, where her phone was safely tucked away. "Were you?"

Her eyes looked back to the house and she bit her lip. Twisting back to me, her eyes latched onto the metal around my finger, then down to the matching ring on her hand. "Jennie…it's not what you think."

I grabbed her cheek, forcing her to look at me. "I don't know what to think, because you won't talk to me. What does that text mean?" I whispered.

Her cheek was cool in the night breeze, but seemed even cooler as she stared at me with fear in her eyes. "I can't…I don't think I can…"

She stammered for more to say and I shook my head, angrily. "You have to tell me now, Lisa, because this is tearing us apart." I pointed down the road, to the stop sign that indicated the end of her street. "Tell me now…or I keep walking, and we really do end this."

She shook her head, tears in her eyes. "Please, don't leave me."

Even though her face made me want to cave, even though I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around her, kiss her, beg her to take me upstairs and make love to me again, but slowly this time, I forced myself to hold firm on my ultimatum. It was now or never.

I raised my eyebrows, waiting. She swallowed, then scrubbed her eyes. "Ugh, Goddamn it…" She muttered. Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths. When she opened them again, she seemed…resigned. "Okay, I'll tell you." She looked around the empty street. "But not here, alright…let's go back inside…"

I exhaled a shaky breath, resigned as well. Whatever this was between us was finally going to be put out in the open…and I wasn't entirely thrilled about it. Lisa took my hand and led me back to her house. She kept her head down the entire way and I watched a shiver go through her. I figured it wasn't from the light breeze either.

Back inside, she indicated her lumpy couch as she gently shut the door. It was the first time in a while that a door had been shut quietly around us. As I sat down, she started pacing in front of me. It spiked my nerves and I wanted her to sit down. She seemed to need the release of movement, though, so I said nothing.

Shifting back and forth, she wiped her palms on her jeans, like she was nervous. It was odd to see on her, she very rarely got nervous. Glancing at me at every turn in her back and forth strut, she still didn't say anything. Thinking she wasn't going to be able to, I tried starting the conversation. "Who was that on the phone?"

She stopped and brought her fingers to the bridge of her nose. "Ugh, I can't…start there, Jennie."

I bit my lip, nodding and waiting for her to start where she could. Sighing, she stopped moving and stood in front of me. Running her hand down her face, her expression so worn I thought she might drop at any moment, she shook her head. "Back in December, a girl came up to me backstage."

I felt my stomach tighten as she paused. So it was about a girl? I wished I could say I was shocked…but I wasn't. Seeing my expression, Lisa slumped a little. "She told me…"

As Lisa stopped to swallow, a sudden burst of insight hit me. It was so obvious. I didn't know why I hadn't thought of it sooner. Dread and sadness filled me as I completely understood. "She told you that you have a child…right? Sometime in your life, you weren't safe…and now, somewhere out there, you've got a kid."

Tears filled my eyes as my vision of a future with Lisa irrevocably shifted. She'd never shut out a child and I'd have to share a piece of her with another woman…forever. Sadness that I wasn't the one to have her firstborn nearly overwhelmed me, and a lone tear rolled down my cheek.

Seeing it, she squatted in front of me. Cupping my cheek, she shook her head. "No, Jennie…that's not it at all." Sighing, she rested her head against mine. "There isn't a miniature version of me out there anywhere, Jennie…okay?"

Swiping my fingers under my eyes, I scrunched my brows, even more lost than before. "Then what is it, Lisa? Because I really don't understand."

She sat back on her heels, her head down. "I know you don't. And I know it seems like I'm hiding an affair…" Looking up at me, she shrugged. "Do you really not see, knowing what you know about me, what might make me…lie to you?"

Pain flashed through me that she'd openly admitted to lying. More tears running down my face, I shook my head. She exhaled, looking a little defeated that she'd have to tell me, that I couldn't guess it so she wouldn't have to say it. Closing her eyes, she whispered, "She told me that she wanted me to meet…her father."

When she opened her eyes, they were moist. I blinked, surprised. "Father? That's…odd."

Lisa smiled sadly, shaking her head. "Yeah, well, she seems to think that…he might be my father, too."

She'd said it so quietly that it took me a moment to register the words. When I did, my mouth dropped open. "Your father, too? So she's your…?" I blinked, my mind still processing. "Wait, your father? Your biological father? Is she? Is she…your sister?"

"Yes, she showed me an old picture of him and even if the resemblance hadn't made it painfully obvious…I'd seen the same picture before. Mom showed it to me once…" Lisa swallowed, her eyes brimming with tears as she held my gaze. "And I can't, Jennie, I just can't see him…I can't do it."

I was so floored, I had nothing to say. I stared at her in complete shock. Every scenario that I'd ever dreamt up about Lisa's secret revolved her keeping the truth from me because of guilt, because of a girl. I'd never once imagined that she'd been hiding things from me out of pain, because she couldn't deal with the situation.

I couldn't imagine anything more life-changing for Lisa right now than contact from the man who'd spawned her. Spawned her, then abandoned her. He'd left her to a fate that no child should have to go through. I couldn't even really imagine what Lisa was feeling right now—confused, hurt? Or maybe she wasn't feeling anything yet. Maybe she was suffering a case of denial that rivaled my sister's.

Wondering if that was why she hadn't just told me from the very beginning, I leaned over and cupped her cheeks. Her eyes flashed between mine, like she was a wounded animal in a trap that she desperately wanted to run from.

"Why didn't you ever say anything to me?"

She immediately started shaking her head. "I know you. You'd want me to meet with him. You'd want me to have some…bonding family moment with him…and I…I can't, Jennie."

Sighing, I stroked her cheek with my thumb. "He's your family, Lisa…"

Lisa shot to her feet. "No, no he's nothing to me!" Running her hands back through her hair, she started looking around her home, her parents' home. "He left me. He took off and abandoned me. He let me grown up with…those…people." Her body started shaking, her jaw clenching. "He wanted nothing to do with me…so I want nothing to do with him…"

Her voice cracked in her anger and I stood. Stepping into her trembling body, I ran my hand up her chest, to her jaw. The strong muscles there were still clamped tight as Lisa looked anywhere but directly at me. "He didn't know what situation he was leaving you in. How could he? Maybe he thought he was doing you a favor by stepping away, by not permanently breaking up the family he'd already…damaged."

Lisa's eyes snapped down to mine. "A favor? My dad used to whip me with his belt when he got angry. He'd hit me so hard that I had to sleep on my stomach for days afterwards. And I learned early on that running away from him would only make it worse when he did catch me. So I had to stand there, like a dog, and let him beat me. How is that…a favor?"

Lisa's eyes watered as she told me a horror that she never had before. I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook my head. "He didn't know…maybe you should see him so you can tell him, so you can finally talk about this stuff with someone."

She brushed past me, shaking her head. "I don't need to talk about it, Jennie. I'm fine." She looked back at me as she resumed her pacing. "And I don't need to see him…ever." She raised her chin. "Besides, I do have family. I have one aunt who despises me as much as my mom did. But I don't care. I don't need them. I'm fine on my own."

Knowing Lisa hated to be on her own, hated being alone, I shook my head and stepped in front of her, breaking her cycle of movement. "That's just it, you aren't on your own anymore. You have family members out there that want to get to know you." She started to look away from me and I ducked down to meet her eye. "You have a sister, Lisa…don't you want to know her?"

Sighing, she paused and looked over my shoulder. "Ryujin told me I have a brother, too…"

I smiled at how her family was getting bigger and bigger. She'd been alone for so long, maybe this was a good thing, not the nightmare she seemed to think it was. "Ryujin? Is that your sister?"

Lisa nodded, then looked back down at me. Shrugging, she said, "I gave her my cell number once she told me who she was, and we've kept in contact." She smiled a little, then a short laugh escaped her. "She's pretty funny. Pretty smart, too. We've been talking a lot lately…she's a good kid."

My eyes widened as a puzzle piece locked into place. "That's who Somi saw you talking to all the time when she was visiting Evan? Your sister, right?"

Bunching her brows at me, she shook her head. "Somi? In Texas?" she looked away, puzzled, then looked back, an answer in her eyes. "Is that why you thought I was cheating on you? Because Somi saw me laughing on the phone with someone else?"

I bit my lip and nodded. Pointing to her jacket on the hooks by the front door, I frowned. "Plus all of the mysterious texts you wouldn't let me see. You have to admit that was kind of suspicious."

Hurt at how she'd tried to shut me out of her life crept into my voice, and sighing, Lisa cupped my cheeks. "I'm sorry…I never meant for any of this to hurt you. I just wasn't ready…" She hung her head and swallowed. "I wanted to tell you, so many times…but I could never make myself say the words."

Looking back up at me, she shrugged. "It was like, if I told you…it was real…and I wanted to pretend that it wasn't." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I just wanted to ignore it…ignore him…" Her voice hardening, it started to warble with emotion. "But Ryujin gave him my number, and he texts me every day…every Goddamn day…"

Opening her eyes, she dropped my cheeks and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Every day he sends me messages, and every day I ignore him." Sighing, she tilted her head up to the ceiling. "And I'm getting so tired of it all…I just want him to leave me alone."

Leveling her head, she exhaled wearily. "I even thought about changing my number, so he wouldn't have it anymore, but…I wanted to still be able to talk to you. And I couldn't exactly tell you why I wanted to change it, without telling you why I wanted to change it." She shrugged. "So I get painful texts everyday that I try to forget about."

Lisa sighed again and I saw the weariness in her expression. The torment was getting to her. I supposed I could understand why she'd want to hide from her dad. Why, out of spite or hatred, she'd never want to see him again, but I couldn't believe she'd let the torture of her life chip away at her like she had. As I stared at the weary person before me, I tried to picture the energetic person who'd begun this fateful tour. They were nearly two different people now.

She sniffed and scrubbed her eyes, clearly fighting against breaking down and I rubbed her shoulder. "This is killing you, Lisa, don't you see that?"

She gave me a wry glance, like she thought I was overreacting, but she didn't see the threadbare person that she'd become in just a matter of months. "No, it is. It's eating at you…I can see it now. Have you talked with anyone about this? The guys? Evan? Have you been dealing with this alone…all this time?"

Slumping, she headed over to sit on the couch. "Who would I tell, Jennie? Everyone thinks my dad died with my mom." Looking up at me, she shrugged. "You're the only one I've ever been able to tell about my dad…not being my real dad." She swallowed. "I just can't get the words out around other people." Tilting her head, she gave me sad eyes. "Just you…"

Sitting beside her, I put my hand on her knee. "But your real dad contacting you…? You had to keep that from me?"

She looked away. "I didn't want to, and I did try to tell you a couple times…" She looked back. "It was just too hard…too fresh." Lowering her head, she whispered, "I'm sorry if I hurt you…"

Cradling her head to my body, I felt the tears escape my eyes. "It's okay…I get it." As she exhaled and wrapped her arms around me, I whispered, "Christmas Day…was that text really from Jackson?"

Lisa stiffened in my arms, then pulled back. Her eyes glossy, she shook her head. "No…that was from him." Cupping my cheek, her brown eyes searched mine. "I'm so sorry I lied…I just didn't want you to ask…I wasn't ready."

I nodded, more tears sliding down my skin. "All those texts…?"

"Were from him, I promise." Leaning her head into mine, she gave me a soft kiss. "They were all from him. I'll let you look at them if you want, if you don't believe me, but that's all I've been hiding…I promise." she kissed me again. "I promise…"

Letting all my fear and doubt melt away from me, I melded my lips to hers. "I believe you," I whispered. And I did.

Her fingers on my cheek wrapped around to my neck, drawing me into the kiss we were sharing. So sure that we'd never have this intimacy again, I savored the sweet taste of her, the intoxicating smell of her. But even as our mouths started shifting the conversation into a different one, a more physical one, I felt her body trembling with the residual torment she was feeling.

Separating from her touch for a second, I pulled back to search her face. Passion was there, as it always was when we were together, but pain, too. "You need to see him, Lisa. You need to put this chapter behind you, so you can move forward."

She shook her head, leaning in to kiss me, to distract herself with the only thing she really knew how to block pain with—sex. I forced myself to push her back, even though a part of me wanted to cave. "You need to," I reiterated.

Her eyes narrowing, she clamped her mouth shut. Inhaling deep, she shook her head again. "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you." I started to object, to reason with her that talking with the man who'd created her, then abandoned her, would help Lisa heal, but she didn't let me get out two words of my speech.

Mouth set in a firm line, eyes hardened into a firm decision, she again shook her head. "No, you can save all of your logical reasons and philosophical viewpoints. I will never see that man. Got it?"

Then she stood up and walked away, shutting the door on the conversation so hard that I felt my head rattle. Lisa wasn't ready and I didn't think she ever would be.