we all want love/we all want honor
Part 12: not just anybody's
"Lonely like an island."
- Maroon 5, "Nobody's Love"
When Toph was little, like, three or four years old (long before she met the badgermoles), she developed the habit of sneaking down to the kitchens after bedtime to sneak some food. She hadn't yet discovered her earthbending, so she couldn't get around very well outside, but she knew her own house well enough to get around.
It was kind of ridiculous, because her parents doted on her, and if she had told them she was hungry, they would have made sure something was prepared for her. But she kept doing it, and if any of the kitchen servants ever noticed food missing, they never said anything.
That is, until the night she'd arrived in the kitchens, only to discover someone else was already there, snacking on the leftover pork buns she'd wanted to eat.
"Hey," she'd said, crossing her arms with all the righteousness her four-year-old body possessed. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Uhhhhhhh, eating?" The voice came from a boy who couldn't be much older than her.
"I can hear that," she'd scoffed. "What I wanna know is why you're eating the food I was going to eat."
"Because I got here first!" What was wrong with this boy? Didn't he know it was her house? He was supposed to be listening to her, or telling her that the buns weren't safe, or, or, or something!
She stomped her foot angrily.
"This is my house, and those are my pork buns!" Toph had growled. "Give them back!"
"Too late, I already finished them." She'd heard a slurping sound.
"What's that noise?" She'd always liked new noises- she didn't hear them very often. Everything around that place tended to be the same, day in and day out.
"Um, I was licking my fingers?" The boy had seemed confused. "Have you never seen anyone do that?"
"I can't see anything, dunderhead," she'd retorted. The boy gasped.
"Wait, are you Lady Toph? I'm so sorry, I didn't realize, my parents are new, please don't get them fired, oh I'm in so much trouble..." he'd kept mumbling, but Toph just laughed.
"So what's your name?" It hadn't seemed fair that he knew her name but she didn't know his.
"It's Ohev, your ladyship," the trembling boy had stuttered. "I'm sorry, I would never have-"
"Yeah, yeah, you said that already," she'd said. "That's okay, I think you might be more interesting than some stupid meat buns."
"Wait, what?"
Before Ohev, Toph had never really met anyone her own age. Her parents thought she was too delicate to play with other children, and she didn't think they'd approve if they discovered that she'd been talking to a servant boy.
But Toph had never let her parents disapproval stop her from doing the things she'd really wanted to do.
They'd made an odd duo, the nobleman's blind daughter and the poor servants' son. They met at night, exploring the mansion, devouring leftovers in the kitchens, running around in the gardens.
Ohev was the one who'd been there the first time she accidentally cracked the ground with an angry stomp, the one who'd told her what earthbending was.
The one who'd taught her how to climb trees and play games.
The one who'd consoled her through the fits of anger when her frustration at her parents' protection was too much.
Their friendship had been secret, and private, but it had been hers. And for a while, that was okay.
But it couldn't last forever.
It had started as a small argument. At this point, so many years later, she couldn't even remember what it was about.
(No, that was a lie. Of course she remembered.
She'd come to find him one night and discovered him in the garden, swinging a stick around.
"What on earth are you doing, Ohev?" He'd stumbled backwards in surprise- he'd never seemed to notice when she snuck up behind him. It was kind of fun.
"I'm training," the older boy had explained. "If I'm gonna be a great swordmaster, I need to start learning now." Toph had known about swords- they were pointy metal sticks for fighting. Sounded cool, but of course her parents would never let her near one.
"Are you sure you're doing it right?" Toph had asked, and then followed with: "Can I try?"
"What?" Ohev had seemed confused by the question. "Of course not."
"Why not?" She had scowled.
"Toph, you're blind. You'd hurt yourself," he'd said. (Never mind that his so-called sword was a tree branch.)
"What?!" Surely, she'd heard him wrong.
"It's a big, scary world out there, especially for someone in your condition,"" Ohev had told her, apparently unaware of her mounting rage. "That's why I'm going to learn how to use a sword, so I can protect you."
It had only escalated from there.)
However it had started, it had ended with Toph pushing him down and running away. Away from Ohev, from her parents, from that stupid mansion. And that had been when she'd met the badgermoles.
She hadn't encountered him when she returned. Hadn't really wanted to. And yet... that night, she'd found herself sneaking down to the kitchens, anyway. But a whispered conversation between her parents had distracted her, and she'd never actually made it there.
A few weeks later, she'd left for good.
They'd never said goodbye.
"Lady Toph?" The boy in front of her seemed shocked. "Is it really you?"
"Who else would it be, Ohev?" Toph said. "It's been a while."
"Where have you been?" Her childhood friend reached out and hugged her. She allowed herself to sink into the embrace, but only for a moment, before pulling away. "What happened to you? You left on that trip with your parents, and then they came back without you, and then the Fire Nation came and my parents decided Gaoling wasn't safe anymore, so we moved away, and-"
"Whoa, slow down there, buddy," Toph said. "First off, don't call me that. Around these parts, I'm just Lin Yu, a simple village girl who happens to fight in the arena. Got it?"
"Yes, of course, T-Lin Yu," Ohev said.
"What do you say we get out of here." She gestured at the crowded street. "I know a place that makes some great jook. Or, if you're feeling really nostalgic, they also serve these delicious pork buns..."
Once they'd made it to the restaurant and placed their orders, she nodded at the boy.
"Alright, what do you want to know?" Toph asked.
"What happened to you?" Ohev asked, lowering his voice. "The last time I saw you, you were the daughter of a prosperous landlord. Then you disappear for eight years and I find you fighting in bending matches to make a living? I don't understand."
"Okay, first off, I fight because I enjoy it," she said. "The fact that it pays the bills is just a nice bonus."
He had the decency to seem embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that," Ohev said. "I've met all sorts of people since I left home, and they've all been so different from each other. I should have known better than to assume."
"Apology accepted. Now, as to your real question," Toph said. "You of all people should know I never really liked living in Gaoling. My parents sent me to live with some family friends. I lived with them for several years, but it got kind of boring after a while, so when I heard a couple of friends of mine were skipping town, I left with them. I've spent the past three years traveling with them, but we had to split up for a little while, so I'm hanging out in Yu Dao while I wait." It was a grossly simplified version of the past several years, but she wasn't about to admit that she'd been living in the Fire Nation. That would invite all sorts of questions she was not interested in answering. "What about you?"
"After the Fire Nation came to Gaoling, my parents left the Beifong estate and we moved to Yi," Ohev explained. "They were servants to the reigning noble family there. But that kind of life wasn't for me, so when I turned sixteen, I left. Right now I'm headed in the general direction of Omashu, but I don't have any real plans in mind."
"Makes sense," Toph said, as a waiter brought their pork buns. She grabbed one and took a bite. "But I wouldn't call it Omashu- at least not around here." She gestured around.
"What do you mean?" Ohev asked.
"You haven't heard? Omashu's become a colony- I hear they call it New Ozai these days." Which was kind of dumb, she wondered who'd come up with that name. "But it's probably not as safe or stable as an old one like this place, especially for Earth Kingdom citizens."
"Ohhhh..." Ohev's voice trailed off sadly. "You said you've travelled a lot- any suggestions?"
"Well, I passed through Zigan on my way here, and it seems like an interesting enough place," she said, thinking. "And if you still want to head south, I hear Zeizhou's nice this time of year." She'd spent the last few years on a ship, mostly sticking to Fire Nation-held land and isolated areas where Zuko thought the Avatar might be hiding. She didn't know much about places to visit in the Earth Kingdom.
"I guess." Ohev didn't sound especially enthusiastic.
"Of course, if you're not too fussy about who's in charge, you could stick around here," Toph said. "I know it's technically a Fire Nation colony, but this place is pretty cool."
"Really?" That seemed to perk him right up. "How so?"
"To start with, where else in the world can you pay to see a tiny little blind girl beating up a bunch of scary firebenders without getting arrested?"
He laughed, and Toph smiled.
This is nice.
They'd been sitting at their table for nearly an hour, just talking and laughing, when it hit her.
"-so I said, 'Look buddy, I don't care if you're the Earth King in Ba Sing Se, I bought the last kebab fair and square, so you'll just have to deal with it.'" Toph said, waving her spoon for emphasis. (They'd finished the pork buns, two bowls of jook, a whole roast duck and were now making their way through a delicious egg custard tart.)
"Oh, I would've killed to see the look on his face," Ohev said, giggling. Toph blinked.
"Hey, Ohev," she said slowly. "Is this, like, a date?" She'd never been on an actual date before- she didn't think the chaperoned meetings she used to have with Zuko really counted, and in all the time she'd travelled with the prince, they'd never gone somewhere alone just for the sake of hanging out like this.
"I hope so," Ohev said. "I really like you, To-Lin Yu, and I've missed spending time with you. If we're both going to be staying in Yu Dao, it might be nice to do this again."
Toph considered this. Childhood memories aside, she didn't really know Ohev that well, but he seemed like a nice guy. If she was going to be stuck in this town, it might be fun to go out like this again, and see if this went anywhere.
"Maybe," she said, smiling shyly.
(She ignored the little voice in her mind whispering, And what about Sparky? It wasn't as though he'd ever seen her like that, and considering everything that had happened in the past several years, she wasn't even sure if the betrothal was still valid. Not to mention that he was constantly trying to send her away and had basically ditched her here. Was he even planning on coming to get her? He clearly doesn't care what I do. There was no reason to feel guilty about this. None at all.)
Ohev had just reached out and taken her hand when someone else entered the restaurant and made a beeline for their table.
"So this is the mysterious firebending boyfriend," Kori said loudly. "I was starting to think you'd made him up!"
"Um, I'm not-" "He's not-" She and Ohev started talking at the same time, and Kori seemed to realize that the boy at the table was obviously not a firebender.
"Ooooooh," Kori said, and Toph could hear the smirk in her friend's voice. "Guess you're getting tired of waiting for him to show up, huh, Lin Yu?"
"That's not-" Oh, why had she thought it would be a good idea to tell Kori that Zuko was her boyfriend?
What was I thinking?
"Well, don't let me bother you two," Kori said. "Have fun!" She walked off to a different table.
"I can explain," she said to the confused Ohev.
"It's fine, you don't owe me anything," the boy said, opening up his purse and rising up from his seat. "It's my fault for assuming. You're a great girl, it was stupid to think you wouldn't already have someone. Although I do have to ask- a firebender? How did that happen?"
"He's a friend," Toph said. "One of the ones I've been travelling with. I just told Kori we were dating to explain what an earthbender like me was doing in a place like Yu Dao. We're not actually... together like that."
"Really?" Ohev's voice was equal parts hopeful and doubtful.
"Really. The odds of me and Sparky getting together are about as likely as the war ending by summer's end," she said. "So please, don't leave, not yet."
Ohev sat back down.
A few minutes later, a couple of shady-sounding guys came in, whispering to themselves. Bounty hunters.
She wasn't too concerned- as long as they kept to themselves, they didn't bother her. She kept an ear out towards them though, slightly wary. Nothing they said seemed too worrisome.
"-the princes, right? No one seems to have any idea-"
She dropped her bite of tart.
"Give me a second, Ohev," she said, then got up and walked over to the table the two men were sitting at. "Excuse me, sirs, did I hear you mentioning something about a couple of princes?"
"You haven't heard, little lady?" The man seemed amused by her interruption, but she could tell his partner was suspicious, so she decided to play up the act.
"I'm just a simple blind girl. I don't know much about the world outside Yu Dao," she said, sighing. "I heard you two gentlemen talking about princes and, well, I got a little curious. My mother used to tell me stories about royalty when I was little and-"
"Yeah, yeah, we don't need your whole life story," said the second man. His friend elbowed him.
"I apologize for my friend's rudeness," the first one said. "These two are princes of the Fire Nation- the Fire Lord's own brother and son, if you can believe it. I don't know the details, but apparently they betrayed the Fire Nation during the Northern Invasion, so the Fire Lord- or, more precisely, the Fire Princess- put a price on their heads. But nobody seems to know where they've disappeared to."
"That's so interesting," she said, smiling. "Thank you for telling me!"
Toph walked slowly back to the table, trying to avoid arousing any more of their interest. Within seconds they'd gone back to their conversation.
Sparky. Uncle. Azula?
She didn't have all the details, but one thing was clear- those two needed her help.
It was time for her to use her very last-ditch, when all else fails, just in case of an emergency plan.
"I'm really sorry about this, Ohev," she said, grabbing her bag. "This was nice, but it turns out I have to leave, like, now. I had a nice time, though!" She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then ran over to Kori's table.
I can't believe I'm actually doing this.
"Hey, Kori," she said. "You know just about everyone in this town, right?"
"I guess so," the older girl said. "Why?"
Toph took a deep breath, aware of how strange her request was going to sound.
"Do you know where I could find an old person who plays pai sho?"
"You could make a grown man cry, if you ever left my side."
- Maroon 5, "Nobody's Love"