Chapter 8: The Nightmares Of Grimmauld Place
Sirius blotted upright in his bed. 'Fuck' he thought, another nightmare.
Remus was standing in the doorway to his room, looking extremely worried.
"Padfoot... Remus started.
Sirius cut him off. "No. Don't say anything, I'm fine."
"It's the fourth night in a row, I'm kinda worried." Remus told his friend.
Sirius got up out of bed, walking past Remus, down the hall into the study.
"Sirius, do you want to talk about it." Remus asked him.
"No." Sirius replied.
"You should go back to bed. Moony. Tomorrow is the full moon."
"Technically it's today." Remus said, looking at his watch.
"I'll go back to sleep soon Moony. I'll be okay." Sirius pleaded with him.
"Okay. Try to rest Padfoot." Remus said, before heading back to sleep.
~
Tonks found herself stumbling over the crooked cobblestones on the path in front of Grimmauld Place, early on a Friday. Tonks had the day off so she figured she would spend the day with Sirius and Remus. She has sworn that she would talk to Sirius about her crush, despite it being mortifying. she really needed some insight from someone who knew Remus well.
Tonks walked into the hallway, trying to be quiet when she was coming so she didn't wake mrs black. The house seemed unusually quiet, even for 9am. Tonks made her way down to the kitchen, looking for any sign of her cousin or Remus. Tonks stumbled into the basement kitchen. She saw that Remus was at the table reading the daily prophet, with tea and biscuits.
"Hi tonks!" Remus greeted her, still focusing on the paper.
Tonks greeted him, making her way over to sit next to him.
"Whatcha reading?" Tonks mused.
Remus turned the paper so she could see it too. It was about werewolves. Tonks read the article. It was about Grayback.
"He's building an Army?" Tonks questioned.
"Mhm." Remus said. "That was always his goal, now he's just been given enough power to actually do it."
Remus looked really sad. It hurt Tonks, she wanted to fix it.
"Remus, was he the one, the one who hurt you?" Tonks asked cautiously.
"Yeah." Remus said.
Tonks hugged him. She hadn't even meant to, it was almost instinctive.
Remus didn't know how to feel about the embrace. Surly it was out of pity, he thought. Not allowing himself to consider the possibility that it was more than that.
"You don't need to feel badly, it was a long time ago." Remus told her, pulling away.
Tonks nodded, but still felt horrible for him. She wanted to fix it.
Remus got up to get himself more tea, offering some to Tonks as well.
"Tea sounds nice, thank you." Tonks said.
Tonks couldn't help but notice that Sirius seemed to be missing.
"Sirius is here right?" Tonks asked slightly concerned.
"Yes. He's here. I won't let him leave." Remus explained.
"He's trying to sleep, I think. He's been having a hard time sleeping." Remus added.
'How Awful.' Tonks thought. That was the last thing he needed.
Tonks watched Remus make tea for them. He seemed sick. He seemed...weak.
Realization hit Tonks.
"Tonks, do you think you could stay here with Sirius tonight, I cannot be here and his nightmares have been extreme." Remus asked, as he slowly sat down in his seat.
"Yeah I can do that." Tonks said. "What's been happening with him?" She continued, concerned.
Remus sighed heavily. "He keeps having nightmares, he'll scream and yell out. It's kinda scary." Remus was surprised at how easy it felt to talk with Tonks. "don't tell him I told you, he'd start a fight"
"Okay" Tonks replied.
"I'll tell him your just here to make sure he doesn't leave." Remus suggested.
Tonks nodded.
"Thank you. I'm worried about him." Remus admitted.
"Does he tell you what the dreams are about?" Tonks asked.
"No, he won't tell me. I can only speculate." Remus told her.
Tonks just shook her head.
"Perhaps you would have better luck." Remus added.
Tonks smiled at him. "I'll see if I can talk to him later." Tonks promised.
~
Tonks had remained at Grimmauld Place for most of the day, waiting to be able to talk to Sirius. Eventually, around 5pm Remus announced that he had to leave.
Tonks and Sirius said their goodbyes as Remus retreated out the front door.
"So Cousin. Want to play a game." Sirius asked.
"Sure. What are we playin?" She asked.
"Bridge?" Sirius suggested, picking up a pack of playing cards.
"Sure!" Tonks exclaimed.
"You have a good morning with Remus." Sirius joked.
"Yeah, it was nice." Tonks replied, with a small smile.
Sirius just looked at her. He raised his brows.
He had expected her to respond with sarcasm but she didn't.
"Didn't know that you enjoyed his company so much, Tonks." Sirius questioned her, as he delt them cards.
"Remus is cool, I like his company." Tonks said.
"Hhhmmm." Sirius said, looking rather pleased with himself.
"I mean, I was kinda wondering, well, like, you know, well, ahhh." She tried to ask her question, failing miserably.
"You trying to ask me something?" Sirius said, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying himself throughly.
Tonks rolled her eyes.
"When Remus likes someone, what are they usually like?" Tonks asked realizing her question sounded super weird.
"Are you asking me what his type is?" Sirius asked, amused.
"Yeah." She grumbled.
"Well, this is completely unexpected." Sirius teased her.
She glared at him, turning her hair red.
"I mean you've come to the right place, I happen to be an expert on the topic of your interest." Sirius said, boasting.
"Shove off" Tonks said.
Sirius conceded, chuckling.
"Are you asking me if he likes you?"
Tonks nodded, while rolling her eyes at her cousin.
"Oh I'd so say." Sirius explained.
Tonks sighed. She was glad, but also uncertain.
Where did she go from there.
"Look, Remus is a little difficult sometimes with very certain issues. But he usually comes around. He doesn't except affection very well."
Sirius explained.
"And I'm telling you he likes you, because he certainly isn't going to. Remus doesn't always know what's good for him. And He struggles to except that people care about him. he doesn't particularly think too highly of himself I don't think."
"has he always been that way?" Tonks asked cautiously.
I'd say yes but he seems a little worse now. I'm sure loosing all of his friends in one day didn't help." Sirius said, sadly.
"Sometimes it takes convincing to get him to realize he actually deserves nice things, and happiness." Sirius
'Great i have a crush on a werewolf with severe abandonment issues.'
"OK how do you know he he actually likes me though, it's really hard to tell?"
"Well he told me for one. Two, He pretty much checks you out every time you come into a room."
'Oh." Tonks thought. He liked her back.
"Well, how do I get him to understand that I really do care?" Tonks asked.
"Typically, the more direct the flirting probably the better. It'll make it harder for him to convince himself that you don't fancy him."
"Okay, I could probably do that. But, I don't want to freak him out." Tonks said.
"I don't think it would but I won't lie, I've seen it happen before." Sirius said.
Tonks nodded. 'Remus has so many demons' she thought. She wasn't sure if she was really prepared to take them on, but she was pretty sure she couldn't help herself.
"So, if I asked him on a date?" Tonks questioned.
"Woah, I said flirt more, but that's making a move. That might take him off guard, that's definitely more likely to freak him out." Sirius suggested.
"Okay!" Tonks said, understanding.
"Oh. You should probably know. Remus is very sensitive about the werewolf topic. Tomorrow morning just give him a little space, he'll come round eventually." Sirius explained. "He really doesn't like being fussed over after the full moon, it makes him grumpy." He continued.
Tonks smirked a little. She had noticed he preferred to not be coddled.
"So, what are we allowed to do?" Tonks asked.
"Well, usually I make sure new clothes are out, usually put some water in his room too." Sirius explained. "It's the little things."
Tonks understood.
"Okay. Sounds like a plan." Tonks replied.
"I win." Sirius announced.
"Crap"
~
Tonks and Sirius stayed up until around 11, before turning in. Tonks had ended up sleeping on the sofa in the front parlor. She figured sleeping close to the stairs could be handy if Sirius had a nightmare.
most of the night was quiet though. Tonks slept through the night, waking early just before 5am.
Tonks looked around, taking in her surroundings, she realized that a light was on in the hall that hadn't been previously, she went over and realized that Sirius's bedroom door was open. She sighed. Really hoping that he would be in there.
Tonks looked into his room. 'Shit' she thought. He wasn't in there. She inspected the rest of the second floor before running down into the kitchen.
Tonks froze. Remus was down there.
He looked really sick. He was leaning over the sink in the kitchen. He was very pale and was trembling.
"Remus." She said quietly.
He looked over at her. "I can't find Sirius. Here's not down here?"
Remus shook his head. "Check his brothers room." He croaked. His voice was weak, as if he had a cold.
Tonks nodded in understanding. Leaving Remus to collect himself on his own.
Thankfully, Remus has been correct. Sirius was in his brothers room.
"Sirius, I was worried when I couldn't find you." Tonks scolded.
"Sorry Cousin. Woke up early, couldn't fall back to sleep, ended up coming up here."
Sirius explained.
"This was your brother's room, right?" Tonks asked.
"It was." Sirius said.
Tonks looked around the room, a lot of regulus' things were still there.
"My mother never got rid of his things." He said, staring off in thought.
Tonks was a bit perplexed by this statement, and she wasn't sure what exactly that meant to Sirius.
Tonks nodded. "I remember, he went missing."
"Yes." Sirius replied.
Tonks sighed. It didn't appear that she was getting anywhere with him.
"Well, I'm gonna go back down stairs." She murmured. Unsure of what else to say, Tonks left.
She made her way back down to the front parlor.
She was Surprised to see that Remus was lying on the sofa where she had been before.
He was curled up on the sofa with a blanket.
"Hi. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna stay here for a little while." Remus said.
"That's fine. Do you need anything?" Tonks said.
"Not right now, thank you Tonks." Remus murmured, before falling asleep.
Tonks looked at his sleeping form, he looked peaceful when he slept.
Tonks took the throw she had been using, and curled up on the loveseat, drifting off to sleep.
When Tonks woke up a little while later, Remus was still laying on the couch. She suspected he didn't want to have to walk up the stairs. But, he was awake.
"Wotcher Remus." Tonks said.
"Hi." He replied, quietly.
Tonks took a slight chance. She went a sat on the coffee table in front of the couch.
"I found Sirius by the way." Tonks told him.
He had almost forgotten that she had been looking for him.
Remus looked around.
"Where is he?" Remus asked, cautiously.
"I think he's in his brothers room still." Tonks explained.
Remus nodded. Tonks thought he looked very tired.
"I'm not keeping you awake am I?" She asked.
"No, I've been awake for awhile now." Remus told her.
Tonks nodded, while offering him her blanket.
"Here, take this." She said, while covering him up with the second blanket.
Remus looked at her for a few seconds. "You're Infallibly kind. you do too much." remus told her.
"Nonsense. I'm just helping take care of someone I care about." Tonks said, smoothing out his covers.
Remus was surprised by her, but couldn't help but enjoy her company.
"You rest." Tonks instructed, before retreating to the kitchen. She didn't want to smother him.
Remus smiled at her as she went. He acknowledged that the blanket that she had given him smelt just like her. The scent was overwhelming but also comforting.
Remus knew that he shouldn't have, but he couldn't help but enjoy her company, no matter how hard he tried.