Feelings

(AN: I know JK says that Remus hides his feelings all of OOTP, but, in my story he's just super bad at hiding it. This is basically my version of a scenario that JK said happened between them.)

The night air was chilly and damp. Tonks sat behind a large set of bushes at the property line of the McNair's home. for once she had not arrived late, and was sitting on a blanket that she had brought. Which had turned out to be a good idea since the grass was so wet. She was excited to see Remus, she tapped her fingers aimlessly thinking about Halloween. Tonks heard a small noise behind her, turning she saw Remus.

Tonks smiled at him, and patted the spot next to her on the blanket. Taking the hint, He came to sit down by her.

"Hey." Remus greeted her quietly. "Has anything happened yet?" He added.

"No, it's been pretty quiet. I've only seen McNair' wife." Tonks explained.

Tonks silently wondered why someone would ever even want to be married to a death-eater. She thought it was bizarre.

"I went to school with McNair, guy was a nasty piece of work." Remus told her.

"Yeah, the ministry isn't a fan either. Even the auror department keeps an eye on him." Tonks said.

Remus just shook his head at the thought of the guy.

"Chocolate?" Remus offered.

"Thank you." She said smiling, taking the treat from him.

He watched her eating it, as the chocolate passed over her soft pink lips into her mouth.

"Why does she have to be so perfect?" Remus wondered to himself, still watching her.

Tonks noticed this, turning to look at him.

Remus realized that he had been staring at her.

"Hiya." She said, sweetly.

"Hi." He replied, trying not to seem completely embarrassed for being caught watching her. Quickly, Remus looked back over to the house, where Mrs. McNair was busy in kitchen.

They sat in silence for a little while, watching the house.

"Remus, who did you do these assignments with during the first war?"

"Usually, it was Sirius or James." He explained.

"And Sirius was always late." Remus chuckled at his friends lack of punctuality.

"What was his excuse?" Tonks whispered.

"I mean, he was probably fixing his hair. He was a bit into his looks then." Remus chuckled.

Tonks quietly chuckled at the comment.

"Well, I mean, he's still pretty good looking, even after Azkaban. Don't you think?" Tonks mused.

Remus sighed heavily.

"Yeah...All the girls always did like Sirius." Remus said, sadly.

Tonks was immediately perplexed, the way he said it was so odd.

'That hadn't even been what we were talking about...unless.' She thought to herself.

"What does that mean?" Tonks asked tentatively, almost like she didn't really want to ask.

"I could understand if perhaps you found him attractive." Remus said, Not looking at her.

'What?!' She thought angrily.

Tonks huffed, chuckling in agitation. She was practically speechless.

"You know that's not true." Tonks warned.

Remus just looked at her, not saying anything. Now, he was the one left speechless it seemed.

"You think I like Sirius?!" She suddenly snapped.

"I don't like Sirius! That's a load of bullocks and you know it." Tonks sneered.

"I'm-I'm sorry." Remus sputtered.

"Mmmm." She murmured.

"And you know who I like." She continued on. "And, if you could stop feeling so sorry for yourself for like five minutes maybe you'd recognize it."

Remus cursed himself. He really shouldn't have said that.

he really didn't know how to respond to her. Did this mean she had liked him back all this time? This was pretty much the worst case scenario he could of imagined. At least before he could convince himself that it was untrue. But now, it was very clearly true.

In that moment Remus was pretty sure he looked like a complete and bloody fool.

He just looked at her a little shocked, still not know what to say next, Instead he didn't say anything.

"Fine, Keep playing a fool." Tonks said, trying not to sound too disappointed.

Remus felt awful. He wondered if he should say something.

Tell her how he felt. But he convinced himself to stay quiet.

They stayed together mostly in silence for the rest of the night.

~

Tonks was so utterly confused. Even by noon the next day she couldn't help but feel like she had been wrong...perhaps Remus didn't really like her at all? She had been so hopeful, especially after what happened on Halloween.

Eventually, she couldn't just sit at home anymore. She decided that she was going to go try to talk to Remus.

Sirius Black was sitting in the kitchen at the long dining table reading the paper quietly when Tonks came in.

"Wotcher Sirius." Tonks said. "Is Remus here?"

"He isn't but he should be back soon." Sirius explained.

Tonks nodded.

"Everything okay?" Sirius asked, looking over at her.

"No it's not."

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked. Concerned.

"Well, last night Remus accused me of liking you. And then I yelled at him." Tonks said, feeling badly. "I worry that I was really harsh."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sirius asked angrily.

Tonks explained to him what happened.

Sirius sighed.

"What the fuck, Moony." Sirius sighed, rubbing his hands across his face, clearly exasperated.

"Yeah." Tonks said. "You said he liked me." she added sadly.

"Oh Christ. He does okay, I promise." Sirius told her.

"look, I'll talk to Remus see if I can set him straight. you just go home and relax the rest of the weekend, okay?" Sirius looked at her waiting for her confirmation.

"Yeah, okay." Tonks replied, with uncertainty.

Tonks turned to leave and ended up running into Remus in the doorway to the kitchen.

She scoffed, pushing past him roughly.

Remus just looked over at his friend. Sirius stared at him.

" what is wrong with you?" Sirius growled.

"Okay, I messed up." Remus said. "But, maybe it's better this way, if she's mad at me at least then she won't like me."

Sirius let out an ironic sort of chuckle, mocking him, "oh, that's what you thought would happen. Well congratulations Moony, the exact opposite happened."

Remus looked at him uncertain.

"all you did was make her think she did something wrong, it didn't make her like you less. It just confused her." Sirius told him.

Remus huffed.

"I can't just let her think we can be together, Padfoot." Remus groaned. Why didn't his friend understand this?

"But you've already fucking done that!"Sirius sneered.

Remus felt horrible, as his friend continued on his tirade.

"So, if your seriously going to keep doing this, and your not even gonna try to see if it could work. Stay away from her." Sirius spat.

"You're not allowed to flirt with her and then just shut her out. That's not fair to her. so you need to make your choice." Sirius continued.

"Staying away from her is easier said, than done. It's too hard." Remus admitted, looking at the floor.

"I think you already made your choice then mate." Sirius said encouragingly, patting his friend on the shoulder before retreating from the kitchen.

Remus sat down, sighing heavily.

"Shit." He thought. "Am I wrong?"