If We Didn't Have You Part 3
Summary: Now that James is awake, things start to turn around for the Potters.
Lily sighed as she watched the sunrise from the window of James's hospital room. Despite being in the middle of London, James's room was on a higher floor, making it possible to see outside. The windows were charmed to not open only in the event of an emergency. The windows were also charmed that no one could see in, but they could see out. It made it nice for those inside the hospital, regardless if they were employees or patients.
Letting out a deep breath, Lily turned back to look at her husband. The only light in the room was the one over James's bed, allowing the mediwitches to come and check on James and his vitals during the night.
How thankful was she that he was alive! She couldn't imagine her life without James. While he added aggravation to her life, he also brought her joy and happiness. She also still had Harry to raise and she couldn't do that on her own, despite the help she knew she would get from Sirius and Remus.
It was no secret that they came close to losing James.
She was able to meet with the Aurors responsible for saving James's life.
"I don't know how to thank you," she'd told them.
"Maybe send some of your scones with James sometime," Dawlish said. "My wife can't make hers taste like yours."
"I will sometime," She'd promised.
"And I hope this doesn't change your mind about Harry following in James's footsteps," Robards added.
It wasn't until Gawain Robards said it that Lily was reminded that Harry had planned on becoming an Auror, following in James's footsteps. She knew there was going to be no changing his mind, and if anything had happened to James, it would have given Harry more determination to be one.
She sighed once more as she approached the armchair in the corner of James's room. She sat down, watching James sleep.
The healers were impressed with James's progress. He was able to walk without assistance. He was able to move both arms, only careful with his injured shoulder. He was healing a lot quicker than Healer Chorley first thought. As a matter of fact, James had surpassed all of the healers' expectations. So much in fact that James was going to be discharged next week, almost a month after the accident.
James and Lily had discussed the plans for when James was going to be discharged from the hospital. Since Healer Chorley said he wasn't going to clear James to go back to work just yet, he was going to go with Lily back to Scotland and stay at Hogwarts for a few weeks and then when he was cleared to returned to work, he'd return home.
Footsteps approached the door to James's room, making Lily sit up straighter. Healer Jackson came around the curtain, smiling at Lily.
"Good morning, how are you?" She greeted.
"Good," Lily replied, propping her head on her hand. "I think I look forward to sleeping in an actual bed."
Healer Jackson chuckled softly. "I know the feeling. So, I want to see James about a week after he's discharged. Unfortunately, it's on the same day that Healer Chorley has him scheduled to come in for a checkup."
"That works," Lily assured her. "He's coming with me to Scotland for a while and that would make it handy for me."
"So you can keep an eye on him?" Healer Jackson inquired, smirking.
Lily smiled softly. "Yes. I don't trust him not to follow Healer's orders. If it was Harry then I wouldn't think anything about it. He follows orders really well."
"I bet that makes things easy for you," Healer Jackson commented, as she waved her wand over James and numbers appeared above his head. She waved her wand again and they appeared in the correct boxes on her sheet on her clipboard. "His blood pressure is good, pulse is normal, temperature is where we'd want it and considering what he's been through he's come a long way."
Lily nodded. "He has."
"And Lily, don't forget to take care of yourself," Healer Jackson stated. "I've had patients who were married before and the one who's the caregiver is the one who suffers the most."
"I know. At Hogwarts, he'd have his friends there, Remus and Sirius. And he'll have Harry. While John hasn't cleared James to go back to work, that doesn't meet that James will go for a fly with Harry."
"He can," Healer Jackson assured her. "Just not play Quidditch yet."
"Unless he and Harry just use the snitch and play. Harry is the seeker for the Gryffindor team," Lily explained.
Healer Jackson smiled. "I think that would be fine. I'll add my papers for his next appointment to his discharge papers. You'll be getting them too when he leaves. Need me for anything Lily don't hesitate to owl or floo me."
"I will. Thanks, Julia," Lily said.
"You're welcome."
When they were alone again, Lily reached over to push some hair away from James's face. She noticed his hairline was receding. She noticed the faint lines around his eyes and forehead. She noticed how much older he looked than what he did previously. She'd ask Sirius if he saw the same things to make sure she wasn't seeing things.
Sitting down in the chair beside James's bed, she sighed and returned to looking out the window. The sun was up in the sky now, casting a glow around London, turning the once dark sky a bright orange and purple with a hint of blue.
Memories of sitting at the kitchen table with her mother early in the morning just the two of them flashed in her mind. She remembered looking at sunrises similar to this one when Harry was a baby and she'd look out her kitchen window at the sunrise, enjoying the quiet before he woke up. She remembered Harry commenting on it when he was older, getting ready for primary school.
She also remembered one morning during the summer when Harry was up and awake when she came downstairs, sitting outside on the swing.
Lily came downstairs one early morning in mid-August, getting ready to make breakfast for her family. As she headed to the pantry, she glanced outside the window and noticed the sun was rising above the trees behind the Potters' property. She stood there, watching the sunrise and the birds flying around her garden.
It was when she looked towards the patio she found her son sitting on the swing.
She slipped off her slippers and slipped on her garden shoes before she opened the back door.
Harry was sitting on the swing, his knees pulled up. He was at least wearing a hoodie and socks with his pajamas. His trainers were on the floor under the swing.
"How long have you been out here?" She asked as she joined him on the swing.
"A bit," Harry admitted. "I woke up around five and couldn't get back to sleep."
Lily reached over, hooking her hand under his chin, making him turn his head towards her. "I'm going to ask this once and I expect you to answer me honestly. What's going on?"
"It's nothing major, Mum." Harry shrugged. "Just thinking about something Moody said the other day."
"About the disappearances?" She asked.
Harry nodded. "And it got me to thinking what would happen if….."
"Don't," Lily said, sternly. "Nothing like that is going to happen to me or Dad, or Sirius, or Remus. We take extra precautions and we've strengthened the wards around the property. Nothing will happen."
That wasn't the first time that Harry had the same conversation with her and James. When a fellow Order member disappeared, Harry asked if something were to happen to all of them, what would happen to him. While James and Lily assured Harry that wasn't going to happen, he would go with Sirius if something happened to James and Lily. Otherwise, Molly said she and Arthur would take him.
Lily hoped it didn't come to that.
She stood up and stretched before she approached James's bedside. She leaned over and kissed his forehead.
"I love you," She whispered.
Looking up at the ceiling she closed her eyes, whispering, "Thank you, God."
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Ron felt a weight on his shoulder. Sighing he glanced at his left to see his best friend snoozing on his shoulder. Judging from the sound of his breathing he was asleep.
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered. "I didn't think he'd snored this bad."
Hermione glanced up from her book. "Is that comfortable?"
"The last time I tried to move him I woke him and ended up blasted across the room," Ron deadpanned. "I'm not repeating that."
Hermione covered her mouth at a giggle that had come to the surface when she was reminded of seeing her boyfriend fly across the common room. She was quick enough to make a cushion to soften Ron's landing and along with Ron had to deal with an extra cranky Harry.
"When did he last get a good night's sleep?" Hermione pondered.
"Probably before James's accident," Ron guessed. He glanced at the portrait hole and sighed upon seeing his sister. Ginny was the only one who could move Harry and not wake him.
"How long has he been asleep?" Ginny asked, softly.
"A few minutes," Hermione replied. "How do you do that?"
Ginny had already gently moved Harry's head off of Ron's shoulder and was slowly laying him down on the sofa in the common room.
"Gently," She replied. "That was why you were blasted across the room," She informed her brother.
"Has he talked to you about anything?" Ron asked, ignoring his sister's remark.
Ginny sighed, taking off Harry's glasses. "He told me that if he does go to sleep, he dreams about the accident. Like he's James and he's seeing it from his point of view or things didn't go as well as they did and James…" She trailed off.
She didn't need to finish the sentence. They all knew of all the fears Harry had, losing one or both of his parents were at the top of the list.
"Has he talked to Lily, Remus, or Sirius?" Hermione asked.
"I know he hasn't talked to Lily about it, but I don't know about Remus or Sirius if he's talked to them," Ginny explained.
Harry let out a loud snore making Hermione and Ginny jump.
"Let's let him sleep," Hermione said, closing her book and heading up to the dorms. Ron volunteered to keep watch. Ginny kissed his cheek before heading upstairs to her dorm.
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Lily glanced up from the paperwork she was filling out for Healer Chorley when Harry slipped in to the room.
"Hi Sweetheart," Lily greeted.
"Hi, Mum. What's going on?" He asked.
"I'm filling out some paperwork for Healer Chorley for your father. He's coming up to Hogwarts with me when he's discharged."
"Oh okay," Harry murmured, sitting down his rucksack and taking off his jacket. He stretched, leaning back to stretch his back. "I brought you my Charms essay for you to read over."
"Okay, Harry," Lily said, patting the space beside her. Harry sat down beside her, glancing at the bed where James laid.
"How's Dad?"
"He's asleep," Lily replied, looking up at her husband. "Healer Chorley and Healer Jackson are pleased with Dad's progress. But he still needs some rest."
Harry nodded, leaning against Lily's shoulder. Lily smiled softly, wrapping her free arm around him. It was a rarity that a teenager would lean against their mother, but Harry wasn't like other teenagers. He would lean on Lily or lay against her. He would lay his head in her lap or on her shoulders. Some would say that Harry was too old to be doing that, but Lily didn't mind. She once said that Harry wasn't constantly laying on her.
Even with Harry leaning her, Lily continued with her work. When she felt Harry's head getting heavy, she looked over to find Harry asleep. Smiling softly, she kissed his forehead, while checking for a fever.
As she was sitting on the patted bench with the rolling tray, she held Harry up while she stood up. Once standing, she laid him down, reaching for the pillow in the window seal. She slipped off his glasses, setting them on the table.
Joan peeked on James and slipped back out. She returned with a blanket, handing it to Lily.
"Thanks, Joan," Lily whispered.
"You're welcome. Hope he gets some sleep."
Lily thanked Joan again and then threw the blanket over Harry after taking his shoes off. She tucked the blanket around him and kissed his forehead, briefly checking for a fever. There was none.
Moving to the chair beside James's bed, Lily watched her husband and son as they slept. She stifled a chuckle when she noticed they both softly snored at first before it grew in volume.
"How you sleep with that is beyond me," Hestia commented as she entered the room. She paused at seeing asleep Harry. "Who's louder?"
Lily pointed at Harry. "Not a word," She mouthed before she whispered, "Did Sirius tell you he's being discharged in few days?"
Hestia nodded. "He did. He told me you're taking him back to Hogwarts with you."
"Temporarily," Lily stated.
"I figured. How are you doing? Really?" Hestia asked.
Lily sighed, looking at her best friend with a soft smile. She glanced at James and then at Harry before putting the quill in her hand down.
"I feel like we've dodged a huge bullet if you know what I mean?" She said. Hestia nodded, motioning for her to continue. "I'm happy that James is doing so well, but I also think about those who had the same spell shot at them and didn't make it. That thought makes me so thankful that James made it and is doing so well."
Hestia stood up, moved to sit next to Lily, careful not to sit on Harry's foot. "Lily, I know you worry about James. You worry about everything." She smiled when she glanced back Harry. "And you still have Harry to worry about."
Lily followed her line of vision to Harry, smiling at her son. "I know. We haven't had much chance to talk since James woke up. Because most of the time when Harry comes, this is how he spends the time."
Hestia sighed. "Sirius mentioned Harry looks like he hasn't slept much."
Lily nodded. "Sirius told me right after the accident that Ginny saw that Harry ate something, literally feeding him once. I need to remember to thank her when I speak to her next."
Hestia nodded. Picking up a form, she asked, "I still can't believe you're taking him to Hogwarts."
Sighing Lily replied, "All I need is Albus to sign a few forms and I'm done. Helen has the approval to travel to Hogwarts because she's worked with a few students before so I don't need to get that. I do need Albus's approval for Dexter to come once a week."
"The mind healer," Hestia said. "Why do you need him?"
"Post-trauma recovery. He said he would also talk to me and Harry if we would want. I said I'm leaving it up to Harry to decide and I would need someone to talk to."
Lily stood up and approached the window, looking out on the rainy London day. "I know I have almost raised Harry, but I still need James. I always said my biggest fear with James's career was that I would be left alone to raise Harry by myself. Though, I wouldn't be completely on my own. Remus and Sirius would be there, regardless. I know Sirius especially wouldn't leave Harry."
"He wouldn't," Hestia agreed, reaching over to push some hair away from Harry's face. "He thinks of Harry as if he's his own. And I know he loves Harry as if he was his son. As do I, even though I've only been back in Harry's life for almost two years."
Lily smiled. She was glad to know that Harry was loved by many people besides her and James.
"What do you say to you and I going to get something to eat that didn't come from the hospital kitchen? My treat," Hestia willed and then added, "Harry and James will be fine until we get back."
Lily glanced at Harry and then at James before she nodded. "Okay."
While Lily stepped out to the restroom, Hestia called Sirius.
"Well, did it work?" He asked.
"It did. Harry's here," She said, turning the mirror to Harry so Sirius could see him.
Sirius sighed. "You take care of Lily and I'll take care of Harry. She hasn't been out of the hospital since James's accident. I'm glad you talked her into going out."
"I am too. I'll call you when I get into the flat," Hestia assured him. "I love you."
"I love you too, Sugar Lips."
A voice from the mirror said, "Oi! I'm still here. You don't hear me call Dora that!"
"That's because she's my cousin and I rather not hear about what you do to my cousin!" Sirius exclaimed. Turning to Hestia, he asked, "Is he still asleep?"
Hestia looked up at Harry to check and see if he was asleep. She nodded. "He's asleep."
"Good, have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do," Sirius said.
"I will," Hestia chuckled and blew a kiss.
She returned the mirror to her handbag just as Lily came back. "Ready?" She asked.
"I'm ready," Hestia murmured as she stood up.
Lily left a note for Harry to let him know where she went. She quietly followed Hestia out of James's room and down the corridor.
"Take me somewhere where I can drown myself in a bottle wine," Lily deadpanned.
Hestia chuckled, wrapping her arm around Lily.
"One bottle of wine coming right up."
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Sirius entered the library, nodding to the students who greeted him as he walked towards Madam Pince. Upon approaching the desk, Sirius didn't mince words.
"Where is he?" He asked.
Madam Pince pointed towards a row of bookshelves. "Go to the last bookshelf on the right, make a right, and then walk towards the last bookshelf and then make a left. He's at the table in the corner."
"Thank you," Sirius said heading in the direction the librarian directed him. He walked to the last bookshelf and made a right. He walked to the end of the row, stopping when he approached the table.
Harry was sitting at the table, his head down lying on his Charms textbook. He was asleep, judging from the sounds of Harry's breathing.
First, Sirius reached over the table, pushing away Harry's fringe before placing his palm on Harry's forehead. He didn't feel like he was running a fever, which was Sirius's first guess of why Harry had fallen asleep in the library.
Madam Pince had sent a note to Sirius telling him that Harry had fallen asleep in the library. Because of the situation, she decided against waking him herself and sent a note to Sirius instead.
Reaching farther, Sirius gently shook Harry's shoulder.
"Harry, wake up, Pup," He whispered.
Harry slowly opened his eyes. "What time is it?" He slurred.
"Ten in the morning," Sirius replied.
Sitting up, Harry realized where he was and let his head fall back, groaning softly. "I only meant to close my eyes for five minutes."
"What time did you get here?" Sirius inquired.
"Eight," Harry answered. "Flitwick's essay is due next class and Mum sent it back last night with some corrections and suggested changes."
"You do know that you still have extensions on assignments right?" Sirius asked.
"Wanted to get this done so I don't have to think about it," Harry explained, stifling a yawn.
Sirius sat down in the chair beside Harry. Hooking Harry's chin in his hand, he gently turned Harry's head to look at him. Sirius noticed the dark circles under his eyes were still present and a few bags had appeared.
"When did you last have a good night's sleep?" He asked.
"A few here and there, but it's probably been a few days," Harry replied. "I sometimes can't sleep because I worry about Dad or have nightmares that something happens and he's….."
When Harry trailed off, Sirius pulled him to his side. "Harry, he's okay. He's going to recover and he'll be coming here for a while."
"I know, but I'm not fully recovered from the whole ordeal yet," Harry said, leaning his head against Sirius's shoulders.
"Harry, here's what you're going to do. Pack up your stuff, head back to Gryffindor tower, Lily's quarters or back to mine and Remus's with me and get some sleep. You can't keep going like this, Pup. It's actually surprised me that you're not sick," Sirius stated.
"Mum's quarters, it's quieter," Harry decided.
Sirius took the books Harry was taking with him to the desk for Madam Pince to check out. When Harry joined him, he took Harry's rucksack and put the books inside, before putting it on his shoulder.
Then he led Harry out of the library and towards Lily's quarters.
He told Helga the nurse the password and guided Harry inside. He put Harry's rucksack down on the floor in his room while Harry went to the bathroom and changed into some joggers and an old t-shirt. Sirius waved his wand at the bed to turn it down and added a warming charm to the sheets and duvet.
When Harry returned from the bathroom, he headed straight for the bed, collapsing on it. He was asleep in a matter of minutes.
Sirius smiled at the sight, tucking the covers around his godson. He gently pulled off Harry's glasses and leaned down to kiss his forehead.
"Sirius?"
At the sound of his name, he turned to find Lily standing at the doorway.
"Is he sick?" She asked.
"Exhausted, he's not been sleeping much since….." He trailed off. "What are you doing here?"
Lily nodded. "I came back to have Albus sign a few forms to allow me to bring James back here. It's a formality, something they need to file. But James should be here by Monday."
"That's good isn't it?" Sirius asked.
"It is," Lily assured him. "I just hope it's the right decision. John isn't releasing him to return to work yet and Helen, one of the healers whose in charge of James's therapy recommended he not be alone. She's willing to come to Hogwarts once a week and Joan is going to stay on here until next year to help out when I can't."
Entering the room, she approached Harry's bedside. She pushed back his fringe to press her palm to his forehead. Straightening up, she tucked the cover around him a little more and leaned over to kiss his cheek.
She observed her son while he slept, noticing the bags and dark circles under his eyes and how pale he looked.
"I think I need to have to talk with my son."
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Harry knocked on Professor McGonagall's door. He had been given a note at breakfast to go to her office that morning. Slightly confused, he put the note in his pocket and went on to his morning class. When it was time to head to McGonagall's office, Harry left his bag in his dorm and headed to Professor McGonagall's office.
"Enter," She called.
Harry pushed open the door, entering her office. "You wanted to see me, Aunt Minnie?" He asked.
"Actually Harry, it wasn't me," She said.
"It was me."
Harry turned at the voice, finding his mother standing near the fireplace.
"Mum? Is everything alright?" Harry asked.
"Everything's fine," Lily assured him. "I'm pulling you out for the day. Meet me in my quarters in half an hour."
"Okay," Harry said, slowly.
"Go and change. I'll explain later," Lily directed.
Harry nodded and left, still confused as to why Lily was pulling him out for the day. At first, he wondered if something was wrong and Lily had come to tell him that something else happened to James. But if that was the case, it would Sirius who would come to get him, not Lily. She wouldn't leave James's side. He wondered what the reason Lily had for pulling him out and decided he would ask when he met up with her.
"Harry?"
Harry turned when he heard his name, finding Ginny approaching him. He didn't realize he had made it to the Fat Lady portrait.
"Hi, Gin," He greeted, giving her a kiss.
When they broke apart, Ginny said the password and Harry let her enter first before entering the common room.
"Mum is pulling me out for the day. She said everything is fine with Dad, but I'm confused as to…."
"Why she's pulling out for the day?" Ginny finished. "Maybe she wants to catch up or something."
"Maybe," Harry agreed. "I don't know when I'll be back so I'll talk to you later."
"Alright," Ginny said, standing on her tiptoes to give Harry a kiss. "I love you."
"And I love you," Harry finished, saying the little saying they came up with when telling each other I love you.
While Harry headed up to the dorm to change, Ginny headed to hers to collect a book she had left in her dorm. After collecting her book, she headed back downstairs and left Gryffindor tower. She had an idea why Lily was pulling Harry out of class. Word must have gotten to Lily that Harry wasn't sleeping much and she needed to have a word with her son. Harry had told her that he and Lily had a lot of good talks when it was just the two of them rather they were in the car or working around the house.
As she turned the corner, she saw Lily and Professor McGonagall talking. She paused for a moment or two but continued walking when Professor McGonagall left. Just as Ginny approached, Lily turned around.
"Hi, Ginny," She greeted.
"Hi Lily, how are you?" Ginny asked.
Lily smiled. "I'm good. Has Harry told you that James is coming here once he's discharged?"
"Yeah he did," Ginny began. "Next week isn't it?"
Nodding, Lily confirmed the news. "It is."
"I need to get to class, but I'll let Mum know when I write home next," Ginny said as she began to walk down the corridor
"Actually, I wanted to thank you for looking after Harry for me," Lily explained. "Sirius told me you've been making sure he eats and things, so I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate it."
Ginny smiled softly, pushing back some hair away from her face. "You're welcome. All I did was made sure he ate something. I told him once that you had enough to worry about and that he wouldn't want to add him to it."
"Too late," Lily said. "I'm his mother, I'll always worry. Good to see you Ginny and I hope you haven't had any trouble getting your potion. I've given Joan a list of students who get it every month and I meant to ask you."
"I've had no problems," Ginny assured her. "Harry should be down in a little bit."
They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. As Lily approached her quarters, she realized it had been almost a month since James's accident. Harry was waiting for her when she entered, dressed in his black hoodie, dark denim jeans, and trainers. From the neck of the hoodie, she could tell he had his red t-shirt on under the hoodie.
"Well, I was thinking we'd go to London and walk around Regent's Park as it's near the hospital Shall we go?"
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Regent's park was the closest park to the hospital and one of the places Lily often came when she had longer breaks and needed to get out for some fresh air and to clear her head. Sirius brought Harry here following their visits when she and James were in St. Mungo's and the weather was warmer to play on the playground.
As it was approaching noon, she decided to go to the Pizza Express on Baker Street. It was convenient and it had been a while since she had pizza.
"When was the last time we did this?" Lily asked as she sat down at the table.
"What?" Harry inquired, his hand hovering over the menu in the holder near the wall.
"Went out just the two of us?" She added.
"Summer," Harry stated. "Only we ate at Five Guys."
When Harry said that, the memory came back to Lily. She nodded. "We did, didn't we?"
"Unless you want to count the time we ate out when Dad left for that one conference two weeks after I came home from school for the summer. But then that was Gary's wasn't it," Harry said.
Conversation flowed as they browsed the menus, deciding to split a Margherita pizza and an order of original dough balls.
"Who's with Dad today?" Harry asked, picking up a dough ball and splitting it in half.
"Hestia," Lily said. "She told me I've been spending too much time at the hospital and I'm not getting paid for it. But next week, he'll be discharged and hopefully, I won't need to see the inside of that blasted room again."
Harry paused, straw in his mouth. "Mum? Are you okay?"
Lily wiped her mouth with the napkin, sighing. "It's been a long month."
"Tell me about it," Harry muttered softly.
The conversation moved to Tonks and Remus making the announcement that they were moving in together. Sirius had heard from Ted and Andromeda, say they were quote 'quite happy to welcome Remus into the family and that Dora was finally out of their house and living on her own.' Well, as on her own as she could with Remus living in the same flat…and sleeping in the same bed.
With Remus gone, Sirius invited Hestia to move in with him.
"So with everything that's going on with Sirius and Uncle Remus, you and Dad wouldn't care if Gin and I moved in together one day do you?" Harry asked, taking a slice of pizza for himself.
Lily paused, as she had just taken a bite of her dough ball. When she swallowed, she shook her, "No, we wouldn't. Molly will be the tough sell. Though by time Ginny is old enough to move out, Molly might not mind seeing as she and Arthur would be alone. Unless she doesn't want it."
"Just thought I'd ask," Harry said. "Nothing's set in stone. I just wanted to know how you would feel about it."
"Honestly," Lily said, passing Harry a second napkin. "I would love it if you lived with Dad and me forever, but I know you wouldn't want that."
The subject changed to Lily explaining to Harry the therapy James would have after he was discharged and how long it was supposed to last. She suggested ways Harry could help and reminded him that Dexter was coming to the castle once a week to start.
"I think I might join you," Harry said, picking up the last dough ball.
"Really?" Lily asked. Harry nodded. "Okay."
When they were finished, Lily paid the check and waited while Harry went to the restroom. Once he came back, they left the restaurant, crossing the street to the park.
As they began to walk the pathway, Lily decided to bring up the reason for her pulling Harry out of school for the afternoon.
"There is a reason why I pulled you out for the afternoon," She began. Stopping, she placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "What's going on Harry? I mean it. Tell me."
Sighing Harry began, "Since Dad's accident, I've been having dreams. They all revolve around the accident, sometimes Dad doesn't make it or I'm Dad and I'm seeing it from his point of view. Because of the dreams, I don't sleep much."
"Who have you told about these dreams?" Lily inquired.
"Ginny," Harry replied. "I might have told Ron at one point and maybe Hermione. I've vented to all of my friends that it's hard for me to keep with what I've told who."
"Are the dreams still occurring?" Lily asked.
"Not since Dad woke up, but then it changed. That everything is going well and then all of sudden without any warning he's gone. Or the people responsible for putting Dad there come in the hospital and kill him. I know that one would be impossible with the Aurors present in the hospital."
"And they still are," Lily confirmed. "How come you didn't tell me about any of this?" Lily asked.
"Because I didn't want to add to your worry," Harry admitted.
Stopping, Lily turned to face her son, cupping his face. "Harry, I want you to listen to me and listen very closely. I'm your mother. It's my job to worry about you. As Hestia says worrying is what I do best. I've worried about your father and rather or not he'd make it and by some miracle he has. Now, we move forward and put this behind us."
"I never thought that you worried about me with everything that's going on with Dad," Harry admitted.
Lily smiled. "Oh, sweetheart, one day when you have a child, you'll understand. No matter old you get or think you are," She added with a chuckle. "I'll always worry about you."
Harry hugged her, whispering "I'm sorry, Mum."
Lily returned the hug, replying, "You have nothing to be sorry for."
When they broke apart, Lily continued, "Now, since you look like you haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks, judging by the dark circles under your eyes, you're going to take the rest of the week off and get caught up on sleep. Aunt Minnie's orders."
"Okay," Harry agreed. "I love you, Mum."
"I love you too, sweetheart."
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Lily entered James's room for the last time, stopping when she saw her husband sitting in the armchair, jumper, jeans, and boots on.
"And here I thought I'd have to dress you," She murmured, approaching her husband. "Hi."
"Hi," James greeted. "All we're waiting on is Julia and John to come with the final paperwork."
On cue, Healer Jackson and Healer Chorley entered the room, files in hand. "Are you ready to go?" Healer Jackson asked.
"Yes, more than ready," James replied.
"Okay, we've gone over the restrictions and when to come back. We'll discuss when you can return to work at your follow up appointment. Now, we've scheduled both of ours for the same day to make it easier for you since you're coming from Scotland. My appointment is set for nine and John's is eleven. Helen will meet with you and Lily tomorrow to set up the therapy time and Dexter will meet with you and Lily next Monday."
"We'll need to change it to Tuesday afternoon. Harry will be joining us," Lily explained.
"I'll let him know," Healer Jackson. "Do you have any questions?"
"No," James replied. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
They turned with Sirius entered the room and paused in the doorway. Before he said anything, James said, "Padfoot, get your butt in here."
Sirius chuckled. "Still got your sense of humor, I see. Lily asked me to come and help get you moved to Hogwarts," He explained.
"We will leave you to get going and we'll see you in two weeks," Healer Chorley said as he handed Lily his discharge papers. Healer Jackson stayed for a moment longer to speak with Lily. They stepped out into the hall to not disrupt James and Sirius's conversation.
"I checked the other day and I have clearance to go to Hogwarts. If you need me to come there, I'll be more than happy too."
"Thank you, Julia," Lily murmured before hugging the healer.
When she came back to the room, James was standing up and Sirius had the suitcase and the duffle bag in his hands.
"Are we ready?" She asked.
James nodded. As they walked out of the room, Lily turned around and looked back. She felt a mix of emotions. Happy that James was leaving the hospital, but sad for those who don't reach this day. As she left the room, she met Hal, the janitor coming to clean.
"Good to see you're going home," He said.
"Well, we're going to Hogwarts, but it is kind of like home," She said. "Take care, Hal."
As she followed Sirius and James down the hall, she couldn't hold back the tears. That night when she saw her husband, she didn't think he would live, even though she hoped…..and prayed that he did. She had thought back to that night many times over the last month if anything to compare how far James had come. He had gone from expected to not make it through the first night to thriving beyond anything the healers had seen.
One had even said it. James was a miracle.
Not everybody hit with the spell James was lived and if they did, they were paralyzed. Not James.
When they approached the mediwitch's station, all of the healers, mediwitches, and mediwizards who had taken care of James were waiting. One by one, they began to applaud. Lily wiped her eyes as she accepted the tissue Joan handed her and let her give her a hug.
When the applause died down, James motioned to Lily, who nodded.
"I wish there was a bigger word than thank you. I don't think we would be able to thank each of you enough," Lily said. "Thank you, everyone, for taking such good care of my husband."
"And hopefully the next time you see me I won't be a patient," James added, pausing for the chuckles that broke out. "Thank you."
After they said their goodbyes, they headed to the floos. Sirius picked up the floo powder as James and Lily entered the grate.
"Ready to go home, Prongs?" Sirius asked.
Looking between his best friend and wife, he nodded. "More than ready. Throw that powder down and let's go home."
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
James was asleep when Lily entered her bedroom. She stood in the doorway watching him sleep. She knew he was tired. It was hard to get a good night's sleep in the hospital. She approached his side of the bed, tucking the duvet over him and leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. He was no longer in the sling, most of the injuries he had healed with only a few scars that were left behind.
She picked up his glasses to move them to the nightstand instead of on the bed beside his pillow. As she raked her fingers through his hair, she found more gray than she did the last time and wondered when they showed up.
Picking up the cup on the nightstand, she took it to the kitchen to fill it with water.
The 'Welcome 'Home' Dad' sign that greeted them when they arrived was still up. She had cried upon seeing it and James sniffled, trying to hold in his emotions.
To the surprise of Lily and James, Sirius, Remus, and Harry showed up with dinner from the Three Broomsticks that Remus picked up. As they ate, he told the story of how Midge Rosmerta, adding Madam Rosmerta when Harry looked at him confused as to who he was talking about, refused to take payment and that the five dinners were on her.
"Miriam is Madam Rosmerta's real name," Remus had explained to Harry. To James and Lily, he added, "She also said that she hopes you are doing well."
Holding the cup under the sink, she filled it 3/4 full of water and took it back to the bedroom. Sitting it down on the nightstand, she left the bedroom briefly and peeked in on Harry. He was staying down in his room in her quarters tonight in case Lily needed help.
Quietly, she entered his room, picking up some dirty laundry on the floor and tossing them in the armchair. She'll have Dobby take care of it in the morning. Speaking of the house-elf, he showed up after dinner.
"Master James! You're here!" He had exclaimed. "If you need anything, just let me know."
When he left, all eyes went to Harry. He just shrugged and replied, "I needed to vent to someone who wasn't Hermione, Ron, Ginny or Neville or Remus, Sirius, or Aunt Minnie."
Lily watched Harry sleep for a moment before she tucked the duvet around him, pushed hair away from his face and kissed his cheek. As she left the bedroom, she looked back for a moment, watching him sleep for a just a minute longer and shut the door quietly.
Reentering her bedroom, she found James still asleep. She quietly walked to her side of the bed, pulled back the duvet and fluffed her pillow. She took off her dressing gown, laying it on the chair in the corner and sat down to take off her slippers.
Before she went to bed, she looked out the window behind her bed, looking out to the forest and the rest of the castle. The sky was visible and clear from her bedroom window, not a single cloud in the sky.
She looked back at James and whispered, "Thank you, God. For looking over my husband and bringing him back to me."
As she climbed into bed, she pulled the curtain behind her close to keep the moonlight from shining into the room. After she pulled the duvet over her, she leaned over and gave James another kiss.
"I'm so glad you're still here with me. If we didn't have you, I don't know what we would have done."
She kissed him again before turning over and going to sleep, dreaming about happier times that were to, hopefully, come.
Over time, they were able to put the accident behind them, only remembering it when it was brought up. It didn't stop Harry from becoming an Auror, but it added to his determination to find every single Death Eater and arrest them. But if there was a lesson it had taught Lily it was that you never know what tomorrow would bring. She shared it with fellow Auror wives, especially when they asked her to talk about her experience at the Auror Wives Luncheon the following spring.
Life without James would never be the same and if there was anything Harry and Lily were most thankful for, was that they still James in their lives.
AN: Fun fact: Madam Rosmerta doesn't have a first name. I've been watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon Prime and Miriam came to my mind with the nickname of 'Midge'.
This is the end of the If We Didn't Have You storyline. There will be mentioning of James being at Hogwarts in a couple of sixth year HLWP fics. Stay tuned for an update on my other stories, I haven't decided which one I'll update next.
Thank you to everyone for reading this series. I'm always taking story ideas or requests. Feel free to message it to me or mention it in a review.