Chapter 12: Reflections And Revelations

Tonks sat on the floor in her flat. Her entire body hurt terribly. She groaned, trying to take her cloak off. Mad Eye had tried to get her to go to the hospital but she refused. Overall, she felt stupid. An arrestee had gotten the jump on her, leaving her with countless bruises and injuries. She hadn't even gotten a chance to really inspect herself properly.

She sighed. She knew she was going to need someone to help her. She thought about going to see her mom for help, but her mom hated that her job could be so dangerous to begin with, she'd certainly never let her live this down. Tonks knew that she could go see Sirius for help. After all, he helped Remus with injuries all the time...

Tonks decided to just go see if Sirius could help her. Remus would just have to deal with it if he was there. He had been avoiding her for almost two weeks, he even had someone else fill in for him during one of their stakeouts. Tonks was admittedly very disappointed.

She huffed. Attempting to gather herself as she left her flat.

Meanwhile, Sirius was looking at the paper in the front parlor.

Sirius peered over the paper when he heard someone come in the front door.

'Holy Shit!" He thought. It was Tonks but she looked awful, as she stumbled inside, causing Mrs Black to shriek.

Her neck and side of her face was bruised, and she was holding her arm close to her body in a protective manner, as if it was injured.

"Cousin! What happened?!?"

"Got into a Scrap with an asshole at work."

Sirius stared at her, mouth ajar.

"Please. Just help me." She groaned.

Sirius nodded. "Come on." Sirius said, helping her into the kitchen.

Tonks slowly sat up on the kitchen table.

"Please, my arm." She motioned towards her right arm.

Sirius helped her take her cloak off. She winced. Tonks had on a sleeveless band tee, exposing her badly bruised arm and shoulder.

Sirius got a cloth and dabbed at a cut on the side of her head she winced slightly. She was pretty sure that she had a concussion.

"Please tell me the bloke that did this got his arse beat." Sirius asked.

Tonks nodded. "Arrested." She explained.

Sirius went and got some dittany to put on the gash on her forehead.

Tonks looked up and saw Remus walk in.

He looked shocked to see her in that state.

"Hey." She said.

"Are you okay? What happened?!?" Remus practically shouted.

Tonks and Sirius looked at him, both surprised by his out burst.

He hadn't seen tonks for several days, and had been attempting to avoid her. Clearly he had not been successful

"I'll be okay." She said.

She had expected Remus to leave the kitchen but instead, he ended up sitting down next to her and Sirius.

Remus surveyed her in horror. She had bruises on her throat and arm, and her head looked like it had been bleeding.

He didn't like that she was hurt. It really bothered him.

"I'll be right back, I need something to wrap your arm with." Sirius explained, leaving the kitchen.

Once Sirius had left, Remus surveyed Tonks again.

"What happened?" Remus asked again, reaching out slightly as to touch her hand, but pulled back as if he had changed his mind at the last minute.

Remus looked so worried and upset, Tonks couldn't stay too mad at him. Remus was too genuine to actually dislike.

But, Tonks was very surprised that he had reached out to her at all.

She was still really annoyed though. He had been avoiding her for the better part of two weeks, and now that she was hurt, here he was trying to coddle her, and give her attention.

Tonks moved away from him.

"don't do that. I'm worried." Remus said, sighing.

"Yeah?" She snapped. "Well, you're not allowed to ignore people and then swoop in when they are sick or hurt and try to fix it. That's not fair." She snapped.

"Even if the person is a friend?" Remus asked, cautiously.

"If you still want to be friends..."

"Of course I still do." She replied quickly.

"I dont like not taking." She added, in a small voice.

"I'm sorry." Remus explained. "Please just tell me what happened."

Tonks could see he was really worried.

Tonks conceded. "Okay." She said, proceeding explain what happened.

Remus fussed over her until Sirius got back. Tried giving her water, and snacks, and a jacket.

"Remus, stop. I'm okay. I promise." Tonks said, as he tried to cover her up with his jacket.

Remus nodded, as Sirius walked in.

"Here." He directed. "Let me see your arm."

Tonks cautiously gave him her right arm.

She whimpered a little bit, pulling away. Remus felt a pang of upset and rage struck him. He could of killed whoever had done this to her.

"Some of the ligaments are torn." Sirius said, wrapping her arm up with some skelly-heal bandages. Remus had experience this in the past and knew it was painful.

Tonks looked away from her pained arm. She whimpered again.

Remus rubbed her on her back just briefly , trying to comfort her.

She looked at him. She was surprised at his show of affection.

"You okay?" He asked, concerned.

Tonks nodded. "Mmhmm."

Sirius watched Remus as he put the finishing touches on Tonks bandage. He smiled a little. He knew his friend would make the right choice, it always just took him forever.

"All done." Sirius said. Patting his cousin on the back. "You should go lay down. Remus can help you." Sirius continued, gesturing towards the hallway.

Remus smiled a little. Sirius never missed an opportunity.

Remus moved to help Tonks up. He helped her to the back parlor and onto the sofa.

"Here." Remus said. Covering her with a blanket.

Tonks snuggled into the covers, looking up at him. Taking a chance, she asked him to stay.

"Will you sit with me." She said, gesturing to the end of the sofa near her feet.

Remus hesitated for a few seconds but eventually went to sit with her.

"You should rest." Remus told her, rubbing her foot softly. It felt good when remus touched her, she found herself wanting more.

Tonks looked at him. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Am I not allowed to be?" Remus ask sadly.

"You are. It's just, you haven't really talked to me in awhile." Tonks explained.

"I know. I'm sorry about that." Remus said.

Tonks surveyed him.

"Are you just doing this because I'm hurt?" Tonks asked.

"Yes, and no. I am worried right now, that's why I'm here. But, I wanted to, and probably should of come to see you to talk."

"Mmm." Tonks murmured.

"I definitely don't want to fight with you, and I don't want you to think that you did anything wrong. Because you definitely didn't." Remus sighed.

"I worry I did something wrong." Tonks said, picking at her dark nail polish.

Remus sighed. "You didn't. I promise. I was wrong...I didn't respond well."

Tonks sat up looking at him. He was rubbing her foot softly.

"You should rest." Remus added, softly.

Tonks looked at him, shifting slightly so that she was kneeling next to him. She decided to take a chance and see what would happen.

"Okay" she said, before leaning over and kissing Remus softly on the cheek. "I'll rest now." She smiled. He hadn't stopped her.

Remus was shocked. He just stared at her in complete awe and wonder. He couldn't believe she had just done that. She had done it before, but for some reason it seemed different this time.

~

Remus sat at the end of the sofa where Tonks slept. She had been resting for awhile and Remus had stayed with her. He was worried about her, and couldn't force himself to leave. Remus was glad he had kept his journal in the parlor. Writing always helped to pass the time for Remus. It was something he had started as a child and he continued to do it through adulthood.

'Seeing Tonks hurt is horrible. She appears to be the least effected by her injuries though for some reason. Meanwhile, here I am sitting with her in the parlor, worrying myself to death. Sirius isn't much better, keeps checking on her head. She had mentioned hitting her head so he's rightfully concerned but she seems so calm about everything. I've been wondering if she is use to this as an auror. Clearly, avoiding her has not been successful. If it was peace time I'd probably just leave. I'd rather not have to see her fall in love with some other guy. But, this is a war, and we need all hands on deck. Also, I am drawn to her, it's very hard to stay away from her.

But, I cannot be selfish with her, and allowing myself to give into her wouldn't be right, it would take too much away from her. Sometimes being friends with a werewolf isn't easy, but dating one is probably worse. I wish things could be different.'

Remus closed his journal, setting it down on the end table.

Suddenly, Tonks stirred next to him.

Remus looked over at her, and she shifted to look up at him.

"Hi." He said.

"Hiya." She gave him a small smile. "What time is it?"

"It's early in the afternoon." Remus told her.

Tonks nodded. After a few seconds of silence Remus spoke.

"You kissed me." Remus said, questioning her.

Tonks gave him a small smile. "Yes. And you let me. She said, moving to sit next to him.

Remus chuckled a little. She was correct, he had done that.

Tonks leaned over, as if to kiss him again.

Remus murmured. "Tonks, we cant."

He explained, rubbing circles into her arm.

"We can, if you want to." She told him coyly.

Remus sighed. She was so sweet, but he still felt resolute in his choice not to pursue his feelings for her.

"Hey, come here." He instructed her to cuddle him. She obliged, snuggling up to him.

"Look, you will find someone to be happy with. Someone whose not a social outcast, or old, or underemployed, or a werewolf. You deserve more than I can give you, Tonks."

She looked at him sadly, cuddling into him.

Remus hugged her.

"I'm sorry." Remus told her.

"Those things don't really matter to me, I know they matter to you though. But, I don't care what other people think, and you're not too old, your 35." Tonks told him.

Remus gave Tonks a sad smile.

"And, I'm not just saying this. your being a werewolf doesn't bother me." Tonks continued. Remus looked at her.

"You're very kind, but you have to understand. Not everyone is as accepting as you are. You might think it doesn't bother you, but it would eventually and it certainly would probably bother other people." Remus explained to her.

"No one who matters would be upset about it." Tonks pleaded with him. "Not the order. Not our friends. It's safe here."

Remus looked at her as she said this.

He hugged her. She was so sweet. But she just didn't understand the ramifications of being with a werewolf.

Remus kissed her on the forehead.

"I wish we could, but we can't." Remus said. "It's not fair to you." He continued

Tonks still didn't understand.

"You wouldn't even try?" She asked, quietly.

Remus sat for a second thinking about it. Realizing that he was having a revelation. He kinda wanted to try...She made it feel really easy.

"I-, I don't know." Remus answered.

Tonks smiled a little to herself. It wasn't a no.

"I'll see you on Wednesday, right?" Tonks asked him, making sure they were okay again.

"Yeah, I'll be there." Remus told her. "I'm going to let you rest now." He continued, getting up from the sofa, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

Tonks watched him leave, allowing herself to feel optimistic. But, for now she would just have to wait to see what would happen.