It was about Midnight, and Tonks was perched on her bedroom window sill, one leg in her apartment the other on the fire escape. Tonight, like many other sleepless nights that had plagued her over the last year, she found herself unable to sleep in the middle of the night. She sighed as she was breathing in the night air. It was so crisp and fresh.

Winter had somehow turned to spring over night it seemed. The nights were still crisp and cool but the days were starting to get warmer now that it was May. Tonks was grateful, as the cold and dark days of winter did little to help pull her out of her depression. Tonks had managed to keep herself busy and preoccupied the last few months, but whenever she was alone she often found herself thinking about Remus as embarrassing as it had become.

She had kept her promise to Remus that she would try to move on with someone else. It hadn't been easy but she was trying to stay resolute in her choice. But, if she was being honest she had continued to try her best to stay away from Remus if she could. Moving on was one thing, but being around him was far worse of a feeling. It just reminded her of what they had lost. She couldn't help but miss him despite hating that about herself.

Tonks had been seeing Adam casually for a few months, and it wasn't like what she had with Remus but at least he was decent enough company. She tried her best not to compare the two of them but struggled not to make comparisons between them. But, as she looked over to her bed, where Adam had fallen asleep she knew that he would leave right when he woke up. It was one thing she disliked about him. He always left after sex, he'd never spend the night or stay to talk. She missed all the times when her and Remus would cuddle in bed and talk for hours. She really missed that, more than she wanted to admit.

Tonks looked over at Adams sleeping form, cursing herself that she continued to compare him to someone she'd likely never be able to be with. Adam stirred as the moonlight streaming in through the open window glowed brightly across his face. Adam sat up slightly, looking around. He groaned before coming to sit up.

"What time is it? " Adam murmured, as Tonks went to sit with him.

"Its late, past midnight." Tonks explained to him.

He nodded sleepily.

"You know you can stay if you want to." Tonks said, hoping she sounded casual enough.

Adam stretched before getting up.

"Loved to, but got to get to the office early today. I wont become head of the auror office by coming in whenever." Adam laughed.

"Yeah, yeah sure. Of course not." Tonks said quietly. Trying to hide her disappointment.

"Goodnight, or good morning." Adam said as he kissed her goodbye on the cheek.

He left Tonks sitting there, she could hear him walking down the front steps and heard a faint 'pop' as he disappeared into the night.

Tonks felt so confused. Here she was with someone who was the exact opposite of everything Remus said she deserved. Adam was young, ambitious, attractive, well off, and with basically no baggage.

She just couldn't figure out why it didn't feel better. Remus kept saying this was the type of person who would be good for her. But, Tonks couldn't help but feel confused. If this was good for her why didn't it feel better?

IF Tonks thought she felt like shit about herself when she fell asleep, it was nothing compared to the news the next morning.

At first it had seemed a typical spring day. But, that quickly changed.

After waking up Tonks perused the Prophet and felt body slammed by the front headline. In huge bold lettering it read

"6 YEAR OLD ATTACKED BY SAVAGE WEREWOLF, IN ST MONGOS IN UNKNOWN CONDITION. HOSPITAL AND MINISTRY REFUSE TO COMMENT."

Tonks was barely able to make it through the article. It was horrible reading and prejudice to boot.

By the time Tonks left her house a few hours later she was convinced the week couldn't get any worse.

She was wrong.

Tonks scoured the Prophet for days and days hoping to hear good news about the Montgomery boy. Every time she thought of him she felt a horrible wave of sadness. Not just for the young boy and his family but all others who had suffered the same fate. At these moments she couldn't help but think of Remus.

The news about the boy being attacked had come out on Monday Morning. By Thursday,Tonks was desperate for news, but had to go into the office early so she had missed getting the Prophet that morning at home.

She scoured the entire Auror headquarters for a spare copy to see if she could find any news about the boy. Close to the end of the day she found what she had been looking for.

She spotted a spare copy on Kingsley's desk and quickly grabbed it, knowing he wouldn't mind her taking it. He always finished the paper by 9am anyway. He was just productive like that.

Tonks brought the paper back to her desk and was relieved and disappointed when she got halfway through the paper and hadn't seen a thing about the Montgomery boy.

This was shattered when she made it to the last page.

On the very last page in the furthest corner was the smallest and most heartbreaking blurb To ls had ever seen.

In the smallest print possible the text read, "Cade Montgomery (6) passed away yesterday in quarantine at St Mungos' Dangerous Dai Llewellyn Ward for serious bites."

It said nothing else. Tonks was crushed and left 20 minutes early that day. She didn't have the strength to pretend everything was okay. She felt like the boy deserved so much more than a measly little ad on the very last page of the paper. He had deserved to live.

Tonks was distracted the rest of the week. She kept thinking of the small boy. And Remus. She couldn't help but think of them both.

This distraction didn't go unnoticed. On Friday morning Kingsley questioned how she was doing.

"You doing alright, kid." He asked, cornering her in the break room.

"Oh, I'm alright, just been busy." Tonks tried to assure him.

Kingsley seemed to accept that. But, Tonks knew he'd be keeping a close eye on her.

Worst of all, Adam noticed too.

That night, he had come over to have a late dinner with her. After they had finished eating Adam asked the one thing Tonks wished he wouldn't.

"Are you okay. You've seemed kinda off for a few days." Adam told her.

"Oh. Ah I'm okay." Tonks said, but decided at the last second to be honest. "It's-it's just I'm not sure if you saw about the little Montgomery boy. i-I just feel bad for them I guess." Tonks admitted.

"Oh." Adam said, realization hitting him.

"I saw that. It's Terrible." Adam said.

Tonks leaned against the couch.

"Yeah, I guess he died a few days ago." Tonks told him.

Adam nodded his head sadly.

"It's sad. Parents probably thought it be better that way." Adam mentioned as he bent forward to grab his drink.

This took Tonks off guard. "W-what, what do you mean?" She asked cautiously.

"Well, you heard the rumors, didn't you?"

"Wait, what rumor?" Tonks asked.

"I heard the parents withheld care in the end." Adam said seriously.

Tonks felt shivers run down her spine at this.

"They let him suffer?"

"No, they kept him comfortable."

"But, they let him just die?" She asked, looking for clarification. Hoping she wasn't right.

"Yeah, that's what I heard." He told her.

"That's horrible." She said after a few seconds.

"Hopefully, his family can find some peace some day. I know a lot of families don't." Adam said.

Tonks kinda disliked this statement though.

"No, they chose to let their son die." She said.

Adam looked at her severely.

"Like I said before. The parents probably thought it was the best choice." Adam said, on the defensive.

Tonks was shocked.

"He deserved to live." Tonks said.

"As a werewolf? What kinda life is that?" Adam sneered.

Tonks scoffed.

"You think he'd be better off dead?"

"Than as a werewolf? Yeah I do, Tonks!"

Tonks didn't even know what to say.

She didn't say anything.

"I mean, look I don't like that the kid died either. But you must know the stance the ministry takes on half breeds like Werewolves. I thought you stood behind the ministry." Adam told her

To keep saw red. "Yeah well maybe I shouldn't."

Adam stood up. "Look, maybe I should just leave. I thought you had changed, that- that you were taking your job more seriously now. Maybe I was wrong."

"What do you even mean?" Tonks shouted at him.

"You stopped changing your hair odd colors and you stopped changing your face in the hall for laughs or whatever. I thought you had actually started to take our position seriously."

Now it was obvious. Adam had only started to show interest in her because he thought her lack of ability had been intentional. He would never like her for who she truly was.

"Yeah, you should go." Tonks said coldly.

And he left without a second look.

Tonks collapsed in defeat. Even her attempts to move on had been foiled.

she had never felt like more of a joke in her life. And, she hated herself that she so easily missed Adams true character.

After that, the month certainly didn't improve after her awkward breakup with Adam. But to add to that. The week after the attack on Cade Montgomery it was published in the paper that harsher laws would be imposed on werewolves.

It allowed werewolves to be detained at any time for any reason by any ministry official, and they had to have their registry identification on them at all times, which identified them as a werewolf.

that wasn't anything compared to what was being said about werewolves in the prophet and at the ministry.

Tonks felt terrible that harsher laws on werewolves were issued. And, it constantly made her think about Remus.

She almost wanted to reach out to him, to check in on him. After all hadn't they said they'd be friends.

But, the days passed and she never could force herself to reach out to him. One day while she was stationed in Hogsmeade she even forced herself to walk all the way up to the castle to see if Dumbledore was there. She knew that he would know where Remus was, and how he was doing. And, she was desperate for news.

But, to her dismay, Dumbledore wasn't in his office, and it was then she realized he likely wasn't at the school. It was dreadfully disappointing.

At the beginning of June, she got her chance to finally talk to Remus.

He had written that he needed to pick up some stakeout logs she'd written for Dumbledore in the past weeks. She read the letter over and over to make sure he was really coming over.

She was nervous to see him though. Staying away had taken a lot of her willpower and she was worried that she'd loose her nerve if she saw Remus in person.

And, she'd agreed to be friends, so she'd have to try and act the part.

Tonks spent half the week in a state of emergency, worried about her meeting with Remus.

She almost hoped one of them would get sick or that something would come up and one of them wouldn't be able to meet. But, the second Saturday in June came too fast. And, before she knew it, It was only a few minutes before he was supposed to arrive.

Tonks was kicking herself because she couldn't for the life of her find the papers she was supposed to be giving to Remus. She was a very since she'd had a weeks notice and now he was going to have to wait for her while she looked for them.

one minute before Remus was supposed to get there she heard a knock on the door and sighed. 'Time to face the music' she thought as she opened the door.

"Hi" she greeted him.

"Hi, Tonks."

"Here, come in." she beckoned him to come inside. it wasn't safe to dawdle at doors these days.

"I'm sorry I'm still looking for the papers. I misplaced them." Tonks told him, wishing she could say something to comfort him over the recent events that had unfolded.

"that's okay, I can wait." Remus told her.

Tonks left him in the living room to continue searching for the papers. She cursed herself for not being prepared and for not having more to say to Remus after everything that had happened with Cade Montgomery and the ministry.

It took her a few minutes but she finally was able to find the papers. She sighed in relief and walked out of the bedroom to give them to Remus.

At first, Tonks paused when she walked out of the bedroom, because Remus wasn't looking at her.

He was looking over at a chair in the corner of the room that had a pair of men's pants sitting on it in, and in a moment of horror Tonks realized that those were Adam's pants. And, without making any noise she dashed backed into her bedroom, completely shocked at what just happened.

She knew Remus had told her to move on, but having him see Adam's pants in her apartment was just too much for her to handle, she almost broke down . She wanted to run out to Remus to fall into his arms, to tell him that trying to move on from him was a horrible mistake, and that she had regretted it but she knew she probably couldn't and shouldn't do that.

She tried to steady herself before going back out into the living room, taking a few deep breaths as she did. And, when she emerged, Remus was no longer staring at Adams pants, which was a relief to her.

"I found the papers, they were under a jacket should've known. probably forgot about them." Tonks said, trying to sound casual.

"Oh, it's all right, it happens." he said quietly. "well, I should probably go." He said quietly again. "yeah, yeah, I'll walk you out." She said trying to be nice while sounding casual. deep down she couldn't believe what had happened. She felt horrible still and before Remus left, she quickly gave him a hug. She tried to put unsaid things into the hug, "I'm sorry about the papers again." she said quickly to him as she pulled away. Hoping that he understood.

He looked back at her before leaving, "you know next week maybe the week after Dumbledore said that he might need some help up at Hogwarts I guess he's going to be leaving the school for a few hours and needs some order members there to stand guard."

"Would you be able to help? Bill Weasley is also coming." he asked. "oh" Tonks stuttered, surprised that he had asked her this.

"Yeah I can come." Tonks said, surprising her self. "just send me a letter. Let me know the details, I can be there."

"all right, thanks again for the papers I'll pass it along." He said, and with that he left, leaving tonks alone with her thoughts.

Tonks shut the front door and slid down to the floor in shock, at what just happened. She felt horrible and scared, because she knew she was far too excited to see Remus the following week than she should've been.

Outside, Remus sat down on a bench, trying to take in what had happened. He always knew that eventually Tonks would move on and date someone else, he just never knew how horrible it would be when she finally did. He hoped she was happy at least.