Beginning Notes: I've never played the games but I couldn't get the concepts of FFVII out of my head. There will be somewhat out of character conversations and pure crack sprinkled throughout this whole fic, plus wacky science and a little more fantasy. This world is my play-doh, and Canon is optional. (So don't go knocking on my door if this world makes no sense, because face it, when does anything ever?)

Outskirts of Nibelheim, Shinra Manor

"Lookie here, A2. Project ANGEL. Subject A1 and A2 are to be made of Subject S and Hollander's two Subject's cells from Project G. Blah blah blah…A1 and A2 aged rapidly into toddlers within six months before abnormal accelerated aging ended. Subject A1 is unexpectedly female, but destruction is unwise due to over expended fund usage. Subject A2 will not stop screaming with the absence of Subject A1…This is really boring, you know?"

Bright, mako-green eyes found an identical pair, a girl's mouth curled into a smirk.

"I think it was a good idea to take these files, sister. So, I wonder who our lucky genetic donors are?"

A pair of prepubescent children were sitting in the front of a burning building, wearing too big clothes stolen from adults.

The one with the folder, the girl, plays with a loose piece of leather on the broadsword's wrap, her pale skin clashing horribly with her clothes.

She looked to be about twelve years old, with dark red streaks tinted in silvery hair that was messily cut. The girl had A2 chop off her waist long hair with a knife, which made it unevenly fall to her shoulder blades. Her eyes were a vibrant green, glowing slightly in the waning light.

The girl wore a too big shirt, burnt slightly from the corpse she pulled it off of. A muddy lab coat was on top to cover her shoulders and arms, which were thickly muscled for a girl her age. Across her hips, a leather sheath was attached to a belt, pilfered from the SOLDIER she stole the broadsword off of.

Blue pants stolen from a murdered Turk had been cut off around mid-thigh to create a makeshift pair of shorts that gave a glimpse of toned legs. A length of string was threaded through the pants belt loops to tighten the clothing to her body.

Loud sounds could be heard in the distance, coming from what seems to be a settlement.

"I don't have a clue. Welp, it's not like we can ask since I killed him. I didn't like him much anyway," the girl says, standing up from the scrap she was sitting on.

"Well, since we're out, A1, shouldn't we get a proper name? Some in the stories have a middle one," the boy asks, throwing and catching a materia that he stole off a SOLDIER's corpse, along with the brace with two other materia.

"It'll have to be similar. So…let me think…Ariana is a good name, I think. And you can go by Aridai. Thoughts?" the newly named Ariana glanced over at her twin.

The boy was wearing a pair of pants that were cut where an adult's knees would be, held tightly to his body by a belt. He's barefoot, since the boots that the scientists and SOLDIERs had were too big. A black, bloodstained turtleneck clung to his body stiffly, the blood long cold in the frigid spring air.

He'd taken a suit jacket from the Turk that Ariana had stolen the pants from, the sleeves of the jacket pushed back for his fingers to be seen.

"I can work with that. For short, I'll call you Ana, and you can call me Ari. I think that's perfect." A smile graced the boy's face, making him look cherubic.

"And what of the middle? Do you want to give me one?" the newly named Ariana asks, curious to see what her brother would say.

"Hm. Selah. Selah, for the pause you make when you sing. And for me?"

"Sepia. Definition: black-brown color with a reddish tone. It will be after the red tint of your hair."

Similarly to his sister, Aridai had bright, glowing Mako-green eyes, and primarily dark auburn brown hair that had silver streaks. His hair fell smoothly, slightly choppy when it reached his shoulders.

"There's a lot of notes where Doctor Hojo was the one who ordered our creation. I liked snapping his neck and breaking his legs. Sort of quick, but maybe too little pain for him." Ariana grinned, teeth glinting in the flickering fire's light.

"Give me that other file," the boy requests, opening the folder when it's handed to him, "Subjects A1 and A2 were conceived by ovaries from Specimen I retrieved by Doctor Hojo, which were then artificially drained of maternal DNA and implanted with genetically spliced sperm created by the usage of Subject S, G, and H's DNA. A total of twelve eggs were used in the project with only two viable eggs which were then implanted in a surrogate mother. Due to limited genetic material, both Subjects were kept due to the costs of their creation. Unexpectedly, Subject A1 showed signs of enhanced strength comparable to a SOLDIER Second at the age of eight, while Subject A2 exhibited high levels of a mana and Materia competency around the same age."

The report makes Ariana turn to him with interest, moving to read over his shoulder.

"This report is so boring. But, I guess we can't be choosers," she shrugged after a while, and pulled out the broadsword that had been embedded in the ground with ease.

The girl looked out in the distance, her enhanced hearing picking up the sounds of a pair of vehicles going over the mountainous terrain.

"We got company," Ariana commented, looking over to her brother, who folded the file the best he could before tucking it into an oversized lab coat pocket.

"This is a summon Materia, isn't it? I wonder what's in it," Aridai stood up, fingering the smooth, glass like materia.

Hefting the broadsword so the flat of the blade rested on her shoulder, Ariana's eyes narrowed when she saw a trio of figures approach, getting out of their vehicles.

"Use it, then," she recommended, and Aridai nodded, tightening the materia brace to his arm.

When he gripped the ball, he could feel the spark of fire and his nose picked up the smell of burning leaves, calling forth the summon within.

Wide, red feathered wings burst forth, and a shrill screech was released to the air.

"Phoenix," the boy whispered, almost reverently at the appearance of the summon, awed by how strong it looked.

"Why, hello there," Ariana called out, once the screech of the summon petered out, "Lovely evening we're having, don't you think?"

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess," one of the approaching strangers breathed. He had dark red hair, and a similarly red jacket, looking incredibly surprised at the summon.

"Oooh, that guy knows Loveless. I think Phoenix should be put away for now, he sounds interesting," Ariana muttered to her brother, who nodded before allowing the mana flow to wane, and the scent of burning vanished. He shook his arm to loosen any bits of magic from activating it.

The girl set down her broadsword into the ground, once it was clear the newcomers weren't going to attack without provocation.

The red haired man's companions were two other men, one with long, silver hair, while the other one had dark brown hair that slightly spiked up.

"Identify yourselves," the silver haired man spoke first, addressing Ariana, since she was the one who acknowledged them.

"The doctor called me Subject A1. That's my little twin brother, Subject A2. We're part of Project ANGEL," Ariana introduced herself with the subject name to test how the three were going to react.

The silver haired man with slit green eyes narrowed in suspicion, while the redhead tilted his head.

"We already chose our names, though. I am Ariana Selah, and he is Aridai Sepia," the girl inclined her head towards the younger twin, "You're from Shinra, right? Sorry to say, but Doctor Hojo's dead. And so are the others from this place."

"The destruction of this lab is your doing, I presume?" the silver haired man asked next, only to be met with Ariana's widening grin.

"It sure is! I rammed the doctor into the wall and snapped his idiot neck. I never liked that guy anyway, torturing me and my poor, innocent brother," the girl spat, eyes glowing fiercely, reaching for the broadsword, "Always, 'Subject A1 do that', 'Subject A1 do this'. 'We will be testing Subject A1 and Subject A2's tolerance to separation'. I'm glad that the rat is dead at my hands."

"Some dumbass SOLDIER got close enough with his fire materia in my reach," Aridai adds, "It was painfully easy to engulf people and the rest of the building in flames."

The same silver haired one moved closer, the other two flanking his sides.

He pauses when he is close enough to see their eyes clearly, mako green meeting twin pairs of identical mako green.

"Didn't Hojo say his other success had eyes like ours?" Ariana whispers to her brother, well aware that the three most likely had enhanced hearing too.

"Considering that man loved his own voice? Yeah. Should we engage?"

"Don't be foolish. Those are SOLDIER Firsts, not those paltry Seconds or Thirds," Ariana shook her head, "We just got out, and I'm not dying today."

She refocused on the three men, speaking to them confidently.

"So what are your names, then? As a polite courtesy," she asked, "Sorry, those scientists didn't treat us like people, so we don't know much about manners."

"Sephiroth."

"Angeal Hewley."

"Genesis Rhapsodos."

"As the ones who set the fires, did either of you retain any notes of Doctor Hojo's…work?"

Ariana blinked at the question, sharing a glance with her brother, and coming to a split second decision, jerking her head towards them.

"We do. We might be experiments, but we're not stupid. Give it to them, Ari."

Aridai nodded shortly, trusting his sister's choice.

"Right. Lucky for you, we took the files and drives we could get our hands on for Project ANGEL from the labs before we razed it to the ground," Aridai retrieved the mass of files, walking forward and offering them to Sephiroth, "As a token of good faith."

Ariana makes a toothy grin, picking up the broadsword once more in an easy lift, allowing it to slide back in its original owner's sheathed.

Her brother lodged the Summon materia on his brace, tsking at the still loose fit.

"Angeal, take these two custody. Genesis, come with me so we can survey the damages," Sephiroth ordered once he had a tight grip on the stack of files.

"You won't hurt us, will you?"

The smile is wiped off Ariana's face, her expression shifting to worry.

It's the first time such an emotion is on her face since the SOLDIERS had appeared.

"What? No! Goddess, we don't harm children," Genesis looks almost taken aback, before grimacing, remembering that said children had admitted to murder.

"Oh."

Relief is clear on the girl's face, moving to hold her brother's hand. The decision is made as her fingers tighten around his, giving the three an answer.

"Okay. We'll go with you."

The twins settled in the vehicle while Angeal drove, promising that the only thing they'd do was rest before they were officially under Shinra's hands.

Aridai's fingers were twined in his sister's short hair, combing through it with a patient air.

"Do you have any idea how old you are?" Angeal asks, shifting the car to avoid any sudden dips in the dirt path.

"Twelve. Or something like that. The…the doctor said that the mako in us made us infertile, so Ana's never gonna have a real puberty," the boy twin mumbles, eyes wandering around and looking out the tinted window, "He…Ana will never have kids, or even…um. That thing girls do. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not…"

"Is that so?"

Contrary to Angeal's calm words, his fingers tighten on the steering wheel.

"Yeah. I don't care. Ariana's perfect as she is. She's my sister, no one else's." His eyes narrowed, before relaxing when his sister sighed into his shoulder.

"We'll do our best to keep you two together, I promise. It would be cruel to separate you in a new place."

"Thanks. That'd mean a lot for us."

"I dunno about you, but I like Angeal," Ariana mumbled to her brother.

"He's okay."

"I'm hungry."

"I know."

"I don't like nutritionally balanced slop."

"No one does. If they do, they have no taste."

"I'm cold."

"I'm not using a fire materia."

"Why?"

"This vehicle might explode if I do."

"It won't, your control is great."

"Ariana…no."

"Ugh. Can I speak Loveless at you then?"

"If you want."

"When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end

The Goddess descends from the sky

Wings of light and dark spread afar

She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting.

Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess

We seek it thus, and take to the sky

Ripples form on the water's surface

The wandering soul knows no rest.

There is no hate, only joy

For you are beloved by the Goddess

Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds

Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul

Pride is lost

Wings stripped away, the end is nigh

My friend, do you fly away now?

To a world that abhors you and I?

All that awaits you is a somber morrow

No matter where the winds may blow

My friend, your desire

Is the bringer of life, the gift of the Goddess?

Even if the morrow is barren of promises

Nothing shall… forestall…my return…

My friend…the fates are cruel…"

Ariana trailed off, and twins fell asleep, comforted by the rough terrain, and the beat of their hearts.

Bright green mako eyes snapped open, pupils slitting in the unexpected awakening. Ariana woke up with a snarl on her face, with her teeth bared from behind her lips.

"Hey, easy," a smooth, baritone voice soothes, and her vision focuses on the face of Angeal, who was presumably the one who woke her up.

The two stare at each other for a moment, before Ariana's eyes returned to rounded pupils, shaking off any traces of sleep.

"'s okay, Ana," Aridai mumbled from her side, having woken up with a delayed reaction, "He's…just waking us up. Safe."

The girl growls low in her throat, stopping when she feels their joined hands tighten in a reassuring grip.

The twins allow Angeal to get them from the back of the car, getting the gear they had stolen from the old base from the trunk.

After a few hours passed with them getting fed, Sephiroth and Genesis had returned with some things that Aridai had missed in his widespread arson.