Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!

Summary: Sasuke has spent three years trying to figure out how to live on his own. Maybe it's time to try something different. WIP. Future SNS, updates once a month. Canonverse. Rating may change!

A/N: Meant to get this one up sooner, but I hope it's worth the wait!

Two is a Crowd

Chapter 2: if not a memory

It didn't even take him a day.

Sasuke was barely two steps from Konoha. Close enough to still pick out the paths. Not that he'd been planning on travelling far, blaring his chakra out as he was. Naruto would have never needed the signal, but it hadn't felt…right. To try to hide.

Of course, Naruto never even tended to make the attempt.

"You look like an idiot," he greeted him, and Naruto punched him in the arm.

"Not as dumb as you!" he said, spinning around. "I'm free! Let's go! Where the hell are we going!"

Sasuke bit down on his snort. He'd never seen someone so stupidly happy.

"I have no destination in mind," Sasuke said. "Do you?"

"Nope!" Naruto said. "Let's go!"

Naruto got them well and thoroughly lost. Sasuke made no move to help him. They were lost for two weeks, easily, with plenty of supplies, and plenty of ways to gather more—

Did it count as being lost if they had no destination in mind?

Sasuke didn't know.

But travelling with Naruto was like night and day. Like finally coming up for air after filling his lungs with salt and water—there was a euphoric relief. A gasping, panicked sort of clarity. Sasuke kept waiting to be pulled under again; that part of himself that knew how to whisper, whispering again that his reliance on someone would bring only pain. Only the worst sort of suffering. It hissed that he'd learned this before, he'd known this, this was exactly the lesson he'd tried to teach himself—walking alone was the only path that didn't drag him back, drag him under again, this was life and it was inevitable—

Through the flames of their small campfire, Naruto smiled at him.

That part of Sasuke fell silent.

"You're going to fall asleep in the dirt," Sasuke told him. "You know there's a perfectly good tent two feet away from you."

"Perfectly good?" Naruto said. "You know I helped set that up, right?"

Sasuke threw a stick in his general direction, and Naruto laughed, but sat up. He was yellow and orange, full of muddled lights in the darkness. The sun had fallen long ago, but they had never meant to move. Not today.

"No, I was thinking how—that river reminds me of—y'know, us, and the campfire, and stuff." Naruto ducked his head behind his hand, but Sasuke could see the grin through his fingers. "Want me to scare some fish out of the water so you can stab them?"

The nostalgia surprised a laugh from his lips.

"I'm surprised you trusted me with those kunai so close to you," he said, letting the memory play back in his mind. Naruto's grin widened the same way it had when they'd caught them—the same stretch, the same crinkle of his nose…

"Nah," Naruto said, and Sasuke had never stopped being twelve. "I knew you wouldn't hurt me."

Sasuke caught his eye, and Naruto's smile softened into something…painful. Intimately so. Sasuke tried to hold the gaze, but Naruto was the first to break. Annoying. It was as if he knew how much of him Sasuke could read from those eyes—they were wasted on the dirt—

"I guess it was just us a lot of the time," Naruto said, studying the nothing the ground would give him, "wasn't it?"

He smiled, as if to himself, and Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Back then," Naruto elaborated, and something in Sasuke's shoulders relaxed as his head lifted again. "I dunno where Kakashi and Sakura were all the time…"

"At home," Sasuke deadpanned. "Not training. Because it was generally midnight."

Naruto ducked forward with his laugh.

"God, we were dumb," he said, the shadows flickering across his smile.

"Speak for yourself," Sasuke replied, and Naruto turned his blazing grin onto him.

"I'm pretty sure I fell asleep out there, y'know," he said, and he was unrelenting. "Multiple times. And then I'd wake up at home. You dunno anything about that, right?"

Sasuke sat back against the log he was supposed to be sitting on.

"Pass me the water," he answered.

Naruto's grin widened, but he obeyed. The toss was swift and easy, right over the flame. Sasuke barely had to move to make the catch.

…

He drank. He swallowed as he capped the bottle, and sighed as he leaned back. Sasuke looked up at the stars, and his neck was exposed. The breeze could have just as easily been a blade.

The silence fell between them, calm and gentle. Sasuke still wasn't used to quiet like this. He wasn't sure Naruto was either, with the way his eyes stayed stuck to him.

Sasuke let his head fall, and Naruto looked back out at the trees.

"Hey," he said, as if something spoke to him from within the leaves, "wanna go swimming?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and Naruto turned back to him with an easy, knowing grin.

He laughed. Sasuke didn't have to say a word.

"C'mon," he said, nudging closer to the flame. "I haven't had a bath in like two weeks."

"Oh," Sasuke told him, "I'm well aware."

Naruto threw the stick back at him.

"Asshole!" he laughed, getting to his feet. Sasuke watched him go, not standing, but turning to glance back over his shoulder as Naruto moved—

"If you freeze," he said, "I'm not responsible."

"Yes you are!" Naruto called back, and his shirt was on the ground. Sasuke breathed in and turned away, as if too panicked to invade a privacy—again. Sasuke always gave those false privacies. Naruto gave him the same.

He wondered what it was about those small little lies.

Splash!

Sasuke ducked his head and let his laugh make no sound. Fucking moron.

"Woo!" Naruto yelled, and Sasuke got to his stupid feet. "It's not that cold at all!"

"You're an idiot," Sasuke told him, standing on the edge.

"You're still gross," Naruto mocked. "So who's the idiot now?"

Sasuke crouched down.

"Still you."

Naruto swam closer, but Sasuke didn't back down.

"Bold," Naruto said, and it was dangerous. "Real bold, Uchiha."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and pretended he didn't know exactly what Naruto was going to do.

He waited until he saw the hand.

"Ah!" Naruto yelped. "Whoa—ah, ah, ah, fuck! You dickhead!"

Naruto laughed, and Sasuke pulled his lightning back to himself. He'd given no more than a static shock.

"Did you think you had an advantage in the water?" Sasuke said. "Moron."

"I didn't expect you to—bastard," Naruto huffed, but his eyes glanced to the side—

A clone. Sasuke sprang to his feet—

A gust of wind sent him tumbling.

Fuck.

Sasuke hit the water with all the force of a tumbling boulder. He felt it in his ears and his head and his chest—but Naruto's feet were in front of him, and he knew very well where to aim his glare.

He surfaced.

Naruto was still in hysterics.

"You'd think your sense of humour would have changed with age," he grumbled, steadying himself.

"Who says?" Naruto asked. "You? You have none!"

He turned with a grin, and Sasuke swatted an armful of water into his face.

"Ah—bastard!"

"Moron."

Between them, the water settled.

…

And it wasn't, actually, that bad.

"I'm a wimp," Naruto said, and he was already floating on his back. Still grinning like an idiot, though. Sasuke struggled to get his cloak and shirt off at least—swimming over to a shore, there were some branches he could at least pretend to hang them from… "We've been gone for like two weeks and I already miss having a bed."

Sasuke glanced back at him.

"You are a wimp," he agreed, and Naruto pinned him with a laughing glare.

He hummed and looked back at the sky after a minute, but Sasuke…

Sasuke stayed staring at him.

"I have no money to rent a room," he offered quietly, holding himself to the dirt.

"Yeah, but I do," Naruto said, kicking his feet up. "Maybe we could look for a village or something."

Sasuke…bristled. Something about that—he turned away, but Naruto had already righted himself—

"What?" He asked, and the water doubled the blue of his eyes. They shined at Sasuke in all fours, rippling in the moonlight—

"You're welcome to go," Sasuke said, turning away. From the way Naruto's silent eyes stayed boring into his back, it did not have the desired, passive effect.

"I am," Naruto repeated, and it was dangerous. Sasuke stifled a sigh—

"Naruto—"

Sasuke turned around, and Naruto met him with a face that didn't smile. A face that looked like it had never wanted to.

"What am I to do, then?" Sasuke snapped. "Live off you? Never exist as myself?"

"Is that what you're doing right now?" Naruto shot back. "It's a hotel room, Sasuke."

"It's the relying, Naruto," Sasuke said, and it lashed like a whip, "I told you, I don't want—I want to be able to live on my own. Completely. Do you understand?"

Naruto's jaw set.

"You know," he said, "I don't think I do."

Sasuke stared at him. Naruto stared back, and Sasuke felt the gaze again, the blue, permeating through him like the wet on his skin—

"I thought I did, but I really—" Naruto let out a harsh breath. "I don't get it at all. 'Cause you've never relied on me. You've relied on literally everybody except for me. I've been begging to take some of your burdens for years. I dunno what I keep doing to make you go to everybody else."

Naruto heaved himself back onto the shore. His bare feet sent the pebbles tumbling into the depths. Sasuke heard the tent as it opened, as it closed, as it…didn't open again.

Sasuke stared at the moon.

He stayed in the water until it turned into the sun.

He didn't bring it up again. Sasuke almost wanted him to, so they could—could get past whatever this was, whatever this was in the air, but Naruto stayed quiet and light and absolutely infuriating. The closest Sasuke came to talking to him was in the night—when he would spring awake, as if bursting out of a nightmare, the moment Sasuke went to stand—

"Bathroom," Sasuke muttered, and Naruto fell back.

He was never asleep by the time Sasuke got back. He didn't imagine this time would be any different. Sasuke had obviously awakened something in him. Some deep, hurting, painful ache that told Naruto that Sasuke was going to go. Was going to leave again. Leave him alone, at night, in the middle of the woods.

Sasuke sat in the dirt and wondered why he was bothering to be offended. Naruto had no reason to think differently.

The tent flap opened, and Sasuke breathed in.

Naruto came and sat beside him.

The night stayed quiet.

"You're a lighter sleeper than I remember," Sasuke offered, finally. His words had a weight to them he…hadn't intended.

"I know," Naruto answered quietly. "Gonna be a miserable old bastard, soon."

"Good," Sasuke muttered. "Join me."

Naruto laughed, but it faded quickly. Sasuke found himself feeling…tired. Heavy. Like it would be so easy to speak without speaking at all. Like he could just sag. Just lean. Just find comfort in Naruto and ask him to find his own, just look at him and ask him to understand, but he—something was swollen in his throat, and Sasuke—

Sasuke didn't know anymore.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Sasuke said, and Naruto looked over at him. But Sasuke had nothing else to give him. He couldn't even hold the gaze.

"Yeah," Naruto said finally. "Isn't that why I'm here?"

Sasuke glanced to his side. Naruto met his eye with a small, wane smile.

"I dunno," Naruto said. "I'm not supposed to be listening to you, right?"

Sasuke huffed out a breath.

"…Maybe."

"Yeah, okay," Naruto said, stretching his arm up. "I'm gonna look for a village. I'm gonna pay for a room. With a hot spring. Fuck you."

Sasuke laughed.

"Fuck me," he repeated, the humour foreign in his throat. "Alright."

Naruto glanced over at him. Sasuke felt the exhausted smile on his face and made no move to hide it. He didn't know. His instincts were so—so manipulated and marred. His gut was so broken. He couldn't even begin to know what the right thing to do was.

"I'm sorry," he said, and Naruto laughed too.

"Fuck you," he said again, laughing again, stuffing his face into the same shirt he'd been wearing all day, "I was doing so good. Ugh."

He sat with his face buried, and Sasuke scanned the goosebumps across his skin, his neck, his stomach…

Naruto pulled back and sniffed, blinking up at the sky. His shirt fell again, and his skin smoothed out with it.

"Man," he said, heaving out a shaking breath, "I've gotten worse with age. If you thought I was a crybaby before—jeez."

Sasuke leaned his head against the tree beside him. The bark would stick to his skin, as it always did.

"Doesn't that come with empathizing with everything in sight?" he asked, and Naruto kicked the bottom of his foot with his toes. He hadn't even bothered with his shoes.

"I don't—"

"Don't you?"

Naruto laughed and rolled his eyes, but didn't protest any more.

"Well, I—whatever," he said. "I used to try so hard not to cry unless I was happy."

Naruto breathed out and leaned back, looking up at the sky. It was filled with clouds tonight.

Sasuke didn't reply. The silence asked where that had been learned, though, and It asked where Sasuke had learned it, too. That visceral, instinctual part of themselves that they'd built through blood and sweat and training, formed brick by brick to bury the emotions as they came, paving over their mouths, over their eyes, petrifying their hands into fists—

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Naruto sighed, and it was as if he was replying to the thoughts in Sasuke's spiralling head. "I know. I should go back just to make a new rule. Everybody can cry whenever the fuck they want."

Sasuke held in his laugh, but couldn't hide the motion.

Something about Naruto's face changed. Something about the light—although there was none—

"I did—y'know—address some of that stuff. It's in the letters, but—just so you know."

Sasuke turned his head and studied the trees. Studied the bark, studied the roots, the way they burst from the ground and dug back in—

"You already knew," Naruto said, and Sasuke didn't look back. He could see Naruto's smile from here.

"You bastard. When have you been reading them?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, and Naruto laughed.

"When did you get them! They're totally packed in th—I grab that scroll every morning!"

"Do you?" Sasuke answered, and Naruto punched him in the leg.

"You dick. How many do you have right now?" he asked. "How have I not even caught you?"

"You're not very observant," Sasuke told him, and Naruto punched his fist against Sasuke's leg again. It lingered with a warmth that Sasuke noticed, that Sasuke eyed and identified, that made him slow down the seconds so he could count them and count them again—

Naruto's hand pulled away.

"You're a dickhead," Naruto told him, and the sun was starting to rise. "It's…"

He trailed off, watching the colours start to paint the darkness. Just stain them, the way ink would drip and spread across water. He was thoughtful, again. A quiet side of Naruto that still unsettled Sasuke in some way, although he knew it—he knew it to be there, but it had just been…

Well.

Sasuke wasn't sure it had ever held a place beside him.

Naruto's leg twitched, and he moved it aside.

"Wonder what they're doing now," he sighed, looking up without a smile, "back there."

Sasuke's hair raised, but he didn't move. Naruto's face didn't betray any regret, but it…some things just felt inevitable. Some part of Sasuke knew this would be one of them.

"Send a letter," he replied simply. "You're quite practiced in it."

"You—!" Naruto laughed, but it came out as more of a groan. "You weren't even supposed to read those! That's why I didn't—"

Naruto cut off in a strained, embarrassed noise, but Sasuke only watched him. It was an easy deflection. An easy distraction. Some part of this felt perfect. Felt like coming home, felt like the most beautiful, carved glass—

But Sasuke only knew how to shatter. Those were the hands he had. The hands he had been taught to wield, the hands he had trained on his own, the hands he had burned and forged from ash and fire and blood—

He only had the one, now. Perhaps it would be enough to soften his touch.

He glanced back over at Naruto, who still stayed…smaller. Quieter. A different sort of silence—with thoughts filled with chaos, as opposed to peace. Sasuke was well-versed in that sort of storm, but it was strange to see Naruto filled with so much doubt.

Sasuke was so used to his resolve.

"Sorry," Naruto offered. "I—sorry. I'm just—thinking."

"Don't be," Sasuke said, calling him back. "I'm used to the speed of your brain."

Naruto's smile returned to him instantly. He kicked at Sasuke with his bare, dirty feet, and Sasuke sat there and let the touch nudge him. It softened something in the bite of the cool morning air.

Naruto's smile softened, and Sasuke scanned the redness around his eyes.

His heart sighed again.

"I'm not going to leave you in the middle of the night," he said.

Naruto breathed in and looked away. He tucked his feet underneath him, nodding as if he wasn't visibly shrinking away—

"Yeah," he said, and it was light again. "I know you'll tell me first."

Sasuke's brow furrowed.

"I'm not going to—"

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Naruto stopped him. He didn't look up. "You haven't even decided if me being here is good for you."

Sasuke's breath hitched, and Naruto ran a hand through his hair.

It was getting tougher to complete the motion.

He gave up, and let out a breath.

"Wanna get moving?" Naruto asked, getting to his feet. "Sun's pretty much up."

Sasuke breathed out and accepted the defeat.

"…Alright."

A/N: My other fics often center around a time where they've both healed and are ready to come together. I'm trying my hand at writing a little earlier than that, this time.

I made some minor edits to the first chapter. That will probably be pretty consistently done; I'm always editing as I go. Just small changes, though :)

Hope you're all doing well! Stay safe out there friends.

Until next time,

- Kinomi