Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!

Summary: Sasuke has spent three years trying to figure out how to live on his own. Maybe it's time to try something different. WIP. Future SNS, updates once a month. Canonverse. Rating may change!

A/N: you might think I waited until it was day 29: travelling together of SNS month, but alas! It just takes me this long to write. Hope you all enjoy :) If I got anything mechanically wrong, please bear with me, I think I'm playing a bit loose with how everything works to have a bit of fun in this fic. I hope you all have fun too!

Two is a Crowd

Chapter 8: if not a part of you (day one)

It took them three days to make it through the blizzard. Sasuke let Naruto lead the way, but stayed stuck to his silver-lined silhouette—it shook too much, and smiled too little. Naruto was too warm for the cold, but his heels were dug in. There was no arguing with that. Sasuke's pessimism was nothing against Naruto's stubborn grin.

His knowing, indulgent, stupid little smile.

By the time the snow cleared, they were too close to the border for Sasuke to breathe any relief. Naruto did, though. He breathed for the both of them.

He ought to. This type of exposure was not the route Sasuke would have preferred. No masking his chakra. No hiding his face.

He was not surprised to be met at the border.

A and Darui greeted them without expression. Sasuke counted fifteen others, hidden away.

From one storm to another, he supposed.

"Hey!" Naruto greeted, cheerful and unfazed, but his steps didn't cross the border. Sasuke knew he was familiar with the line.

"Naruto," Darui greeted, and Sasuke was an afterthought. A small glance of the eyes, a small dim of the smile. Was it an honour to be met by two Raikages—one current, and one former?

Sasuke didn't feel flattered.

"What brings you here?"

The question was asked to Naruto, but it pointed to him. Sasuke knew how to read the tension in the air.

He looked to Naruto with the rest of them.

Well?

Let him get them out of this.

"We're hoping to go to the Island Turtle," Naruto tried, but he spoke clearly. "To the Falls of Truth. Um—"

…

"The both of you?" Darui asked.

"Yes," Naruto said. "If you'll have us."

It was A that breathed, that time. It sounded like a sigh.

"Still, Naruto?" He asked, and it was quiet. Something in Naruto stiffened, and something in Sasuke chimed. Like a bell. Like a memory. He—

"He's with me," Naruto said, standing his ground. "We walk together. That won't change."

Something in Sasuke's chest let go. Naruto's eyes didn't catch back to him, but he stared them down. He stared them down.

Other eyes were on him, but Sasuke did not indulge them. He wouldn't be of any assurance to them. Any soothe to their worries. He was here and he was unapologetic. Regretful of—some things, maybe. Choices. Actions. But the ideas that underlined them? The mechanisms through which Sasuke suffered were still in place, and Sasuke did not have the breath in his lungs to beg the forgiveness of those that perpetuated the cycle that had destroyed him.

…

Things were different, now, though. Naruto was here. Sasuke was yet to be killed. Yet to be caught. Yet to be imprisoned. Was forgiveness being entertained?

Sasuke couldn't imagine so.

"We'd be together," Naruto said again. "The whole time—we're only planning on going there and back. Um. I don't know how long—how long it'll take us, being there, but—"

"And what do you seek of the falls, Sasuke Uchiha?" A asked, and there was no trust for him. No love for him. A familiar expression. A foreign expression. Something warped in Sasuke's head, something slid, something shifted to the side and pressed against the walls of his aching, cluttered mind—

"Peace."

Silence. Relief. Sasuke wanted to live a life without metal and blood. If he couldn't make things right, then he wanted them gone—

But what lived inside of him couldn't be removed, and therein lied his problem.

"Peace," A repeated, and Sasuke did not elaborate. Sasuke would not elaborate. Sasuke would stop Naruto if he tried to. His history had been blared across the world and Sasuke had already been made to relive it a hundred thousand times—

"Yeah," Naruto said, and it was a sigh. "I need it, too."

They turned back to him, and something in Sasuke settled. Naruto had pulled them to him. He'd done it on purpose.

"There's a lot that's happened," he elaborated, because they're surprised. "A lot that's changed. It's been a while since I've been, and I think—I think it'd help."

Darui made a low, thoughtful noise.

"I'd heard you were out of Konoha," he said. "I didn't think you'd visit us on the way."

Naruto let out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I should've sent a letter ahead or something, huh?" he said, his grin tilting to one side. "Sorry, guys. We—we only decided to come here a couple days ago."

Darui almost smiled. Sasuke was fairly sure he saw that wrong.

"Your heart acts for you," he said, and Naruto laughed. His eyes darted to Sasuke. Sasuke's pulse jumped to his throat. "I understand."

Naruto's grin widened, and he looked down. When he looked up again, it was to meet A's eye.

"Well. You walk together," A said, and his stance changed. "But how do you move?"

Darui's cloak dropped to the ground.

"Uh—" Naruto looked between them—

Sasuke's stance answered in kind.

He spoke the language of a fight. They did, too. Sasuke had spent years with this fluency, even if Naruto had been the book he'd read the most…thoroughly.

A moved first. For Sasuke, which was expected. Sasuke parried and followed and let Naruto lead. No chakra—fine. No crossing the border—fine. Taking a hit meant for Sasuke—

Not a chance.

He didn't need to look over at Naruto to be understood. Unbelievable. Completely believable—completely predictable.

They didn't need to fight Naruto at all.

They only needed to target Sasuke. Two against one, and Naruto wouldn't take advantage. Two against one, and Naruto's eyes would only be on him, too.

Sasuke tucked the thought into the back of his mind, and focused on the fight.

It was a test of Sasuke's limits, he thought. Of his strength and his capability—perhaps of his character—

But it was a terrible one.

With Naruto at his side, this was easy.

With Naruto at his side, they were like a river. They moved like a fluid. It had been years since he'd felt Naruto's wind at his side—not directed at him, not a spar, not a fight. Not against, but with. Naruto found the motion of the arm Sasuke no longer had and completed it for him, followed it through, Sasuke was the inhale and Naruto was the breath—

It was exhilarating.

Sasuke couldn't remember the last time a fight felt this good.

The spell broke with a misstep. Naruto's, of course. He was distracted by a hit Sasuke almost took and he promptly took two of his own, damn it—

Sasuke vanished and reappeared. Pulled Naruto away, fought two opponents at once in the time it took Naruto to right his step. He pushed them back, and the fight paused.

Sasuke breathed heavy. Not the heaviest—that was Naruto, who saw no threat to hide his fatigue from—but he was tired. Weary. Wary. He didn't know what all this was meant to establish, other than Sasuke the fact that could still fight.

Surely that wasn't the answer they sought.

Darui is the first to laugh. A follows with a low hum—a smile and a turn, as if there's something he knows—

He breathed, and walked past them.

"No steps out of place, Uchiha," he said, turning. "There will be eyes on you. Naruto—"

Naruto stopped.

"That old request…" A said, "it's been granted."

Naruto breathed in, but then he smiled.

Sasuke's ears began to ring.

It caught him. The memory—it caught him. Naruto babbled his thanks and they wave him off and Naruto turned to him, but Sasuke didn't see the smile at all. Sasuke didn't see Naruto standing.

He saw something else.

He remembered something else.

Naruto's smile faltered, and Sasuke shook his head.

"What's—"

"Not now. Let's go."

Naruto's mouth opened and closed, but Sasuke was already moving. It was nothing he didn't know.

Obviously, it was nothing he didn't already know.

But the memory of panic was hot in his head. The pleading, the terror, the frozen cold fear and overwhelming, desperate, clawing need to make it right, make it okay, it wouldn't be okay, it wasn't okay, Naruto couldn't breathe, Naruto couldn't breathe—

Sasuke stumbled, and Naruto had to be the one to steady him.

"Seriously," he said, and he wasn't smiling at all anymore. "Sasuke, what—"

"Just—" Sasuke said, moving away. Naruto flinched his hand back, as if Sasuke had slapped it away. "I just…need a second."

Fuck.

This was like the letters all over again. Like trying to reply to them. He wanted to shake in the same way. He couldn't form a word. He couldn't form a reply. It was the same guilt, the same ache, the same hurt, the same—

He met Naruto's eyes, and they were blue.

Clear, bright, and blue.

"We'll go slow, then," he offered. "Yeah?"

Sasuke didn't reply. He looked down and walked forward instead—

Naruto stepped to his side, and Sasuke breathed.

He'd forgiven them.

He'd forgiven him.

Sasuke couldn't even imagine.

These paths were new to Sasuke's memory, and so Naruto led the way. They avoided the villages. Avoided the towns. Naruto knew how to dodge eyes, and Sasuke took the mercy he was given. The signs of ninja life were all around him again, and it was so much more difficult to ignore…everything that came with it.

Sasuke had barely realized he'd begun to before.

"I think I miss the part of the world that didn't recognize us," Naruto said, letting out a soft laugh. "Isn't that dumb? If my younger self could hear me, he'd hit me."

Sasuke…breathed.

"He would," he agreed, quiet. Contained. Naruto's memories were an echo in his head, and they remind him of all the reasons he'd supposed to have stayed away. "That doesn't sound like you at all."

Naruto grinned.

"I did it though, didn't I?" he said, glancing at Sasuke with a cheeky little grin. "I got you in here."

Sasuke sighed.

"You did," he acknowledged, and Naruto swung his next few steps much wider than he needed to go. "Pleased with yourself, are you?"

"Yep!"

Naruto tucked his arms behind his back and spun around. Sasuke rolled his eyes and felt his lips want to smile. They didn't, but they wanted to.

He didn't deserve that. He…

Naruto looked back, and Sasuke distracted him before he could look any further.

"What am I expecting to see at this waterfall, anyway?" Sasuke asked. "Myself?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Naruto said. "It's—well, for me, it was a part that I kind of—pushed down. Repressed, or whatever. I dunno if you got that memory of mine."

Sasuke frowned.

"They're mixed in with mine and I have no idea what to search for," he pointed out. "Can you find my memories with ease?"

"Pretty much, yeah. But I haven't memorized as much as you have," Naruto said. "The part of me had weird eyes, if that helped. Like all red and black and stuff."

Sasuke…looked at him.

"Not like the sharingan!" Naruto protested—

"Weird eyes," Sasuke muttered, and Naruto laughed at him.

"Not like—they were all—I don't know, it wasn't like the sharingan at all!" he insisted. "It was like a representation of me being—mad at Konoha and stuff. Whatever."

"Is that what it was?" Sasuke asked.

"It was, yeah. The bit I'd repressed," Naruto ran a hand through his hair, "um—and then I accepted him, and he disappeared."

Sasuke looked at him. Naruto's face twitched as he looked back.

"Okay, you don't have to look at me like that, asshole. You thought I never thought about this stuff?"

"I just assumed not thinking was your general setting."

Naruto slapped the back of his hand into Sasuke's shoulder.

"Prick," he said. "Help me find this turtle. He's always moving somewhere else."

Killer B had also done this training, Naruto told him. One of two jinchuriki—and although Sasuke hadn't apologized to A, or anyone else in this land—

"He didn't greet us," Sasuke pointed out, and Naruto—

"Oh, he's not here," Naruto said, laughing a little. "He's doing some—he's gotten really into his rap, now."

Sasuke blinked. Naruto's grin widened.

"He's travelling around," he said. "Performing and stuff. Cool, right? I'm so jealous."

Sasuke's mouth opened and closed. That—well. He supposed it was something to know Sasuke's actions had been insignificant on the greater outcomes of his life. Still…

"I—"

"I know," Naruto said, cutting him off before he could even start. "Come on. You know I know."

Sasuke caught his eye, and Naruto smiled. Wistful, small. Knowing.

"You think I wouldn't be at least a little mad at you if I didn't know you were sorry?"

"Yes," Sasuke said. "That's historically been the case."

"Yeah, dick, 'cause you've always been sorry. I know that. I know you," Naruto said, easily. Honestly. As if the words didn't catch Sasuke by the throat. "You never wanted to be doing anything you were—I think we're being stalked by something, by the way."

"We are. Left?"

"Yeah."

They darted away. This forest might have been full of those that would fight them, but Naruto was hesitant to act, and Sasuke was the same. They were still being watched, and Sasuke was still ready for this hospitality to end.

…

Any minute now…

"Th—anyway, he's good. He's doing good. He understands, too, y'know. He's a good guy. I think everybody—" Naruto tripped on a twig. "Ow. Everybody fought, too. We all—it's not like we all don't have something to regret. Or—things that we wish we did differently. I guess. Right?"

He looked up, and Sasuke refused to give any of that the time of day.

"I thought we were waiting for the falls," he pointed out. There was too much to focus on, still. Too much to delve into. If he went down that route, he wouldn't be back up.

And they had places to be.

Naruto laughed and bit his bottom lip, and they continued to move. Quicker, now. They were under threat—not actually threat, but threat enough not to want to linger. Sasuke used the silence to search Naruto's memories again—the ones in his own head. The ones he'd seen through Naruto's eyes, through the bond between them—

Maybe Naruto had been right. Maybe he'd only gone as far as the ones to do with him.

The thoughts kept him quiet until Naruto slowed. Sasuke's nerves had stayed dormant—stayed low, stayed hidden, stayed hollow—until now.

The sound of rushing water felt…ominous.

"Yeah," Naruto said, smiling, "I think that's it. I can't believe I remembered the way."

"Neither can I," Sasuke muttered, but he hadn't expected to get this far. He didn't know what to do now that he had.

"C'mon," Naruto said, stepping forward. There was enough of a clearing to move into, Sasuke supposed. Enough of a clearing to set up a tent. Remnants of what had clearly been used for flame. The forest was dark around them, but the stone towered up, higher than the trees.

It reminded him of another waterfall. No statues up here, though.

Sasuke breathed and felt the cold. The leaves of the trees hid the night sky—but Sasuke got the sense it was covered by the clouds, anyway. Naruto shuffled beside him, and put their things down.

"Um," he said— "I mean, it's possible that this won't be—anything. If you don't see—or I mean, maybe I won't. It could be like a—like a one-time thing."

He scratched the back of his neck, and didn't meet Sasuke's eye.

"I think you would have been warned if that was the case."

Naruto snorted, and he was nervous.

He'd done this before, and he was nervous.

…

That didn't bode well.

"Yeah, probably. Um. Want to eat something first?" Naruto asked. "We can—let's set up the tent and stuff."

"Alright."

He didn't let himself rest for long. He couldn't, anyway. Sasuke was restless with the nerves and the knowledge and the eyes on him. Naruto offered the night off—they'd only just come, they could just start tomorrow—

But Sasuke wouldn't sleep, and he knew it.

Better to just get it over with.

It was unlikely he'd see anything, anyway. Naruto only knew of himself and Killer B who had completed the training—it was fully possible it was limited to them. To jinchuriki. Unlikely—sure, it would be strange for a place full of training to have one devoted to one person per generation—

But Sasuke had to tell himself something to get himself to move.

They were still too far north for it to be comfortable. It was cold and hard and the water thundered across his head and shoulders as he attempted to grow used to it. Naruto backed off after following him there—although there was space for him, still—

"You go first!" he shouted, and Sasuke had to read his lips. The water thundered in his ears. Splashed all over his face. Beat down on his back. He leaned forward and breathed in the mist.

…

…

He didn't know how long it took to focus. Too long, likely. He was distracted by the sensations on his skin and nerves in his head and doubts about it all—doubts about coming here, doubts about being here, doubts about attempting this. It had been Naruto's idea, anyway. Naruto who wanted this. Sasuke wanted a place to think, sure, but this—this was beyond that, wasn't it?

…

The water didn't answer him.

But he kept his eyes closed until his thoughts…calmed. Settled. He grew used to the water and didn't feel the cold anymore. Perhaps it hadn't worked. Sasuke focused on himself and the way he breathed…but he'd been here long enough. Hadn't he?

Sasuke let his eyes open.

He was still at the falls. He was standing…further out. Standing on the water, standing out in the lake. Sasuke turned back to the rushing water—

And met his own eyes.

…

Ah.

The other Sasuke stepped out of the falls, but otherwise didn't move.

The winds didn't blow, here.

"Which part are you, then?" he asked, and the other Sasuke almost smiled.

"Which part am I? You want to pick one?" he asked. "Is that all you think you've pushed away?"

Sasuke didn't reply. The other Sasuke brushed his wet hair back, and he had no rinnegan there. No sharingan, either.

"We can pick one to start with, if you'd like," the other Sasuke offered, and Sasuke still didn't reply.

The other Sasuke snorted. He walked across the rushing, bubbling water at the base of the falls—no misstep. Sasuke could not feel the chakra he was using to hold him.

He sat against a rock, and Sasuke felt as if he was readying for a fight.

"Why you left," the other Sasuke offered. "That's an easy one."

"What," Sasuke deadpanned. "Was I meant to stay?"

The other Sasuke turned away as he smiled.

"There's a part of you that wanted to," he said, speaking to the sky. "But I don't think that comes as a surprise to you, now does it?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but he didn't reply. He—

"We're not talking about Konoha, anyway," that Sasuke said. "We're talking about why you left. The second time."

"Those two are inseparable."

"Entertain the thought that they might not be," that Sasuke said, and he was already annoyed. Already annoyed with himself.

He supposed it wasn't a particularly rare event.

"I set out to heal," he said, and the other Sasuke studied the stone beneath him.

"To heal," the other Sasuke repeated. "Why did you leave Naruto behind, then?"

"How would he have helped?"

The other Sasuke's head jerked up.

"Are you saying he would not?" he asked, and he was smiling.

It didn't look friendly.

"The journey was my own," Sasuke insisted. "You should—if you're a part of me, you should be well aware of what became of me. With Orochimaru. With Madara. With—"

"Yes, yes," that Sasuke said, cutting him off. "We obsess over that enough. You'd put Naruto in their company?"

"I'd put myself in them," Sasuke snapped. "I am reliant on whoever I'm with. Naruto included. If I'm to live as—if I'm to live at all, that starts on my own. I've been manipulated by—"

"Yes, by everyone, stop going backwards," that Sasuke replied, and Sasuke's frustration surged. "Naruto would manipulate you?"

"No!"

"Then what?" that Sasuke asked. "What would he do?"

"Nothing."

That Sasuke leaned back.

"Everything. He's—" Sasuke heaved out a breath. "I rely on him. Too much. I can't even stand on my own feet without someone—"

He cut himself off and breathed. Swallowed. Breathed again.

"You think Naruto's your crutch?" that Sasuke asked. "You think you lean against him, and he holds you up?"

Sasuke glared in answer.

That Sasuke's smile only widened.

"Liar."

"It's not a—"

"Oh, it is," that Sasuke said, kicking his foot up against the rock. "You rely on someone you won't even let yourself touch?"

"That has nothing to do with it."

"It has everything to do with it," he shot back. "Naruto is a luxury you don't deserve. You couldn't even take him with you. Barely a day and you thought it was too much. The world deserves him, not you. You're drenched in guilt every time he makes you laugh. You're drenched in guilt, but you're happy. Admit it," that Sasuke said, sitting straighter. "You're happy again. You're happy when you have him."

"I should be happy alone," Sasuke replied.

"We're living in shoulds, now, are we?" that Sasuke said, and it sounded like a laugh. "How things should have been? We can talk about that instead. Do you want to talk about Itachi instead?"

"Don't say his name," Sasuke snapped—

That Sasuke's lips twitched. Sasuke did what he could not to wipe the smile off his face.

He flexed his fist, and relented.

"If you wanted to separate yourself from him, why did you read the letters?" that Sasuke asked. "Why did you try to reply to them at all? Why didn't you ask him to stop? Why did you go back before you were healed?"

Sasuke swallowed.

"Didn't it hurt?" that Sasuke asked, standing up. "Didn't you shake with the promise of everything you could have had? Didn't it drive you crazy, dangling the letters in front of yourself over and over again? Forcing yourself to read them, over and over again? The promise was there. It was all over him. He was all over them. It hurt you so much it made you sick—you couldn't even write! You couldn't even reply! Even that was too much a comfort—

"So what?" Sasuke snapped. "What's your point?"

"My point," the other Sasuke said, "was that leaving Naruto behind was a punishment. And now you don't know what to do anymore."

He stepped forward.

"You don't know what to do, because you're not allowed any of this," that Sasuke said. "Hot water. Beds. Teammates. Friends. Naruto. You see the way he looks at you and suddenly the whole world is okay, and that's not allowed. You're not allowed to be okay."

Sasuke swallowed.

"You never set out to heal," that Sasuke said. "You never even set out to atone. You set out to punish. And now you wonder why you're worse than before."

…That was enough, Sasuke thought. That was enough.

Sasuke's eyes opened, and the water thundered against his head.

He took two dizzying steps before Naruto caught him by the arm.

Sasuke stared at him like he'd never seen him before.

Naruto's smile dropped a little.

"That bad, huh?" he asked. "I figured—I figured it worked after you didn't open your eyes. If you fell asleep, you'd probably have fallen in, right? Um—"

Naruto babbled and let go. Sasuke's memory took over, and stopped him from dropping right into the water.

"...Did you finish already?" Sasuke asked, hoarse. Quiet. He didn't try to clear his throat.

"No, I—um." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "I figured one of us ought to have a clear head, y'know."

He gave a small laugh.

…

Sasuke didn't have it in him to fight.

Naruto had kept the fire, at least. Sasuke stripped of his wet clothes, and stared into the flame.

Naruto's worried eyes stayed on him, but Sasuke stayed silent.

The fire crackled between them.

Sasuke watched it until his eyes burned too badly to stay open anymore.

A/N: Aaand we're in :) This was the bit of the fic I had planned at the very start. I hope you all liked it! I'm sorry I wasn't able to write more for SNS month! Life very quickly dissolved into chaos and I just had to stick to all my other usual things to get them done.

On that note, next month I'm having a very minor surgery (wisdom teeth!), but I've been warned that my case is a little finicky and that I'll basically be out of commission for at least a week. Basically that means I'm way shorter for writing time than usual. I'm trying to get ahead on everything right now, but there is a case where I won't get a chapter out next month. Hopefully that won't be the case, but I wanted to give you all a heads up :) If I won't, I'll be back to it asap!

Thanks friends, hope you liked this bit!

See you (hopefully) soon,

- Kinomi