Chapter 52

Dazed, I opened one of my eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room. My heart raced as I realized I was in Mamoru's bedroom. The sight of this familiar environment brought back memories of the previous night with full force.

Damn it! Damned! How could I!

Then I heard his soft snoring, and the images of the previous night flashed in my mind like a bad movie. It all started with that kiss, and just minutes later, he had stripped my dress off on our way to the bedroom. In that moment, I had blocked everything else out, and for the first time since Seiya's death, I felt alive. I had let myself get carried away. Now, I already regretted what had happened last night.

Why did I always have a knack for making the wrong decisions? This couldn't be true. Sleeping with the ex. Usagi, are you serious? I scolded myself.

I turned my head to the side and saw Mamoru lying next to me. His upper body was bare, one of his legs lazily hanging out of the bed, and the blanket covering just the essentials.

Shit!

I sat up and searched for my clothes. They led in a trail to the living room. Slowly, I crept out of bed, gathered my things, and disappeared into the bathroom. The scent of his aftershave filled the air. Damn him, he knew how much that scent aroused me; no wonder he had chosen it.

He gave me a mischievous grin. "And now, we're finally alone," he whispered seductively as he approached me.

"You know I won't let you off that easily, right?" I whispered back, feeling my resolve faltering as he drew closer.

"Oh, really?" he breathed before capturing my lips in a passionate kiss.

Now, there was no holding back. My inner junkie was unstoppable, and it seemed Diamond felt the same way. Even before we reached the hallway, he was already removing my clothes. His eyes flickered with desire.

Let's lightly imply the rest of the intimate scene and respect the guidelines.

Afterward, lying entwined in each other's arms, we found ourselves in a moment of vulnerability, silence, and reflection. The weight of what had happened weighed heavily on me, and I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt and confusion.

The morning light began to seep through the curtains, reminding me that it was time to face the consequences of my actions. I needed to leave before Mamoru woke up and started asking questions I couldn't answer.

As quietly as I could, I slipped out of bed and hastily got dressed. I needed to disappear before he woke up and confronted me. I couldn't face him right now.

However, as I stepped into the small hallway, I encountered a problem. I had no shoes. It was winter, and it was probably freezing outside.

I cautiously opened the small shoe cabinet and contemplated which pair Mamoru would least likely miss.

Suddenly, his voice murmured behind me, "Take the ones on the top left if you're sneaking out."

Oh no. I froze, turning around, and blushed with embarrassment.

Mamoru stood there with a slightly ironic smile on his lips and a questioning look in his eyes. His upper body was still bare, giving me a full view of his toned physique. I could feel my cheeks getting warmer. I was so embarrassed that he had caught me in this situation. But I couldn't stay here and pretend that nothing happened.

"Oh, you... you're already awake," I stammered nervously.

He didn't reply immediately but continued to look at me with a penetrating gaze. "Yes, I'm awake. Or should I lie back down so you can sneak away?" His tone was laced with irony.

Sneaking away seemed like a bad idea.

"No, I just didn't want to wake you... and since I still have something to take care of..." I continued to stumble over my words.

"So, what is it?"

Why did he have to be so curious? Can't he just let me go?

"Minako," I quickly said the first thing that came to mind.

He seemed satisfied with that answer, and I felt the tension between us easing slightly. Mamoru crouched down beside me and handed me a pair of white sports shoes.

"These are size 44, be careful not to end up in the ER because they're too big," he said dryly.

I could tell this was his way of teasing me. As I put on the shoes, I realized they were indeed way too big for me. What had I expected? They were six sizes larger than mine. With the oversized shoes on my feet and mixed feelings in my heart, I left Mamoru's apartment. The cold winter air surrounded me, and I hugged my coat tighter as the chilly wind picked up.

It was time to go home. I decided to take a taxi and hailed one of the passing cabs. During the ride, I looked out at the passing streets, trying to sort out my thoughts.

When the driver stopped in front of my building, I paid him and got out of the taxi. I put the key in the lock and entered my apartment. It felt strange to be alone again. I collapsed on the sofa and reached for my phone. I dialed Minako's number and impatiently waited while it rang.

"Usagi, what's up?" Minako's cheerful voice came from the other end of the line.

"Minako, could you please come over as soon as possible? I think I've messed up again, big time," I whispered, my voice full of regret. There was a moment of silence, then I could hear Minako talking to someone in the background, probably Yaten. Finally, there was rustling, and Minako said energetically, "Usa, where are you?"

"I'm already home," I replied softly, looking around the room.

"I'll be right there," she promised.

It didn't take long, and Minako entered my apartment with a concerned expression. "What happened?" she asked, sitting directly on the sofa as she passed me.

I let out a heavy sigh and felt a knot forming in my stomach. "Merry Christmas to you too," I mumbled softly, closing the door behind her. It seemed like Minako didn't even register my words.

I followed her into the living room and sat down next to her. "Sex with the ex," I said finally, lowering my gaze, feeling ashamed.

Minako's eyes widened in disbelief. "You gave in again and got involved with Diamond?"

I froze instantly as she mentioned his name. How could she even think that? A strange feeling ran through me before I could respond to her.

"No... Not Diamond. I haven't seen him in a while... Not since he whisked me off to his yacht." Whisked off was quite an accurate description, and I hadn't heard a word from him since then.

"And with w... Oh... oh no!" Minako interrupted herself, leaving the sentence unfinished. Her eyes widened even more, and it seemed like they would pop out of her head.

"Yes," I admitted with a loud sigh, running my hands desperately over my face.

Minako needed a moment to process the shock.

"Why? Why now? When?" she mumbled to herself.

"Yesterday after dinner at Toki's. I tried to sneak away this morning... But he caught me," I replied softly.

"Oh man, Usa. If this doesn't stop soon, I'll get you a chastity belt for your birthday," she said half-jokingly, nudging me playfully with her elbow. A tired laugh escaped me; it might not be the worst idea.

"Now, what happens between you two?" she continued.

"I don't know."

"Do you still love him?"

I delved deep into my feelings and thoughts, trying to find some clarity amidst the confusion. Although uncertainty initially crept in, the certainty of my inner self grew with each passing second.

"No," I whispered softly, but with firm determination. "There's nothing there anymore. I'm more than sure of it, especially after this morning. It was like having a one-night stand with a stranger. I just had this urgent need to get out of his apartment as quickly as possible... Even back then, after our first time, I stayed and had breakfast with him. But today, I couldn't even wait for him to wake up..."

"And how do you go on from here?" she asked, looking at me seriously.

"I don't know," I admitted, lowering my gaze to the floor. "Honestly, I don't feel like talking about it right now. It's just been too much lately. I'm going to avoid him for now... at least until after the funeral. After that, maybe I'll talk to him again, but right now, I need a break from men. From everyone... and that's why I wanted to ask you if you could take Mamoru's shoes to Toki for me, please."

Confusion was evident on Minako's face as she looked at me questioningly. "Stop. Why are his shoes here if you were at his place? And why don't you take them to Toki yourself?"

I let out a sigh and told her about yesterday evening in detail. Thankfully, Minako wasn't slow to understand, and she got what I meant. If I went to Toki now, he would immediately interrogate me, especially if he had talked to Mamo beforehand.

I was infinitely grateful to have Minako as a friend by my side. To change the subject, we went through the lists for Seiya's big day for what felt like the thousandth time. It oddly comforted me.