If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
The orange and yellow glow of mid-October was deceitful to the chill that bit into the 16-year-old's bones. The sweater he wears wasn't doing him any favours. Regardless, he has half a mind to turn around and change, but Fuck that.
He watched Slytherin's loss to Gryffindor earlier in the day and was exhausted from his housemates' boohooing about it. He honestly could care less for the never ending house rivalry. What he needed was a break.
He turns the corner at the base of the stone staircase, only to feel a shift in the atmosphere, witnessing a scene that he absolutely did not expect.
If anyone had told Theodore Nott that he would be standing here, watching the golden girl crying to herself. He would have told them they had gone barmy. Yet here he is, in the stairwell of the astronomy tower. Silently startled by the figure of Hermione Granger, crouching in on herself, surrounded by a handful of yellow canaries, crying. His intrusion had thus far gone unnoticed.
He had hoped to get a bit ahead in this years' Astronomy curriculum, find some peace away from the intense atmosphere that had increasingly become what was his house. But instead, he was here, deciding if he should simply walk away or announce himself. What could he say? What was he supposed to say? He didn't know her. Not really. Not beyond what the average student knew at least. She was the top of their class, bossy, and anyone with eyes could see that she has ambition to no end. And putting aside Draco's harsh monologue about her… that's all he knew.
He personally didn't have any ill feelings towards her, no matter what his crest he wore. No matter how impure her blood was, and honestly, the whole idea of blood purity was bullshit.
He backs away, choosing to leave her to her own devices. At least that's his plan, until he misses a step, almost making a fool of himself and regaining some of his composure. Though the misstep did not go unnoticed by his unlikely companion.
Hermione jumps at the sound, head snapping up to find she had an audience.
"Err… hi Granger," Theo's voice was soft, looking at the ground and shuffling his feet.
She sniffles and uses the end of her sleeve to quickly wipe away the tears. "What are you doing here?" She wasn't looking at him either. Rather favouring to hide the compromising position he found her in. A vulnerable one at that.
He struggled to find words, "You see…" he gestures to the text in his hand.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in the way," She sounds as quiet as a field mouse, almost inaudible.
This was unlike the Granger he saw normally. Gone was the confident demeanour, the know-it-all attitude he and so many others had grown accustomed to. No, that girl was nowhere to be found. In her place, a normal girl. Who was going through something. And there was a lot of mystery to go around as of late.
"Are you… are you ok?" He chose his words carefully, trying his best to show real concern. And it was real, surprisingly enough.
She didn't respond. Instead, she chose to look anywhere but at him.
Theo stole himself and took a seat down next to her. The action visibly surprised her, almost as much as himself. But, what the hell, everything else was going to shite anyway. The world was becoming smaller, the darkness increasingly endless.
She noticed him gaze up at her birds, "Charms Spell. I was just practising," She whispers, taking the moment to wipe her eyes again.
"They're brilliant," in truth, he couldn't manage any more than one or two. She manages seven. Say what you want about her. Even on an off day, she could charm circles around anyone else in their year, probably the whole student body.
Un-rhythmic footsteps on the stairs became increasingly louder. Theo turned to find Weasley and the Brown girl, who he could not remember the first name of, giggling disgustingly, hanging on one another. Eyes glued to each other. It wasn't until the pair fell within feet of him and Granger that they noticed they were not alone.
Weasley's face fell, his eyes going back and forth between Hermione and Theo. Brown huffs and tried to regain his attention. "Whoops, I think this stairwells taken." She skips back down where they came.
"What the bloody hell is this?" Ron asked, glaring between the two, voice cracking in displeasure on a high note.
Hermione tenses under his glare. Theo felt the displeasure and it clicked. This is what caused her to be so emotional.
She mustered up all the confidence she could, standing up, nose flaring, "Oppugno," her canaries instantly flew towards Weasley. Theo was in awe of her confidence.
Ron's face grew to shock before turning tail and racing down to meet Lavender. The birds smash into one of the columns and turn into a puff of small yellow feathers as the two of them disappear around the corner.
The tension in the air lifted, ever so slightly as she plops back down to her step.
"Honestly Granger. Him?" Theo was never a fan of Weasley's. The redhead walked as if he had two left feet, not the brightest tool in the toolshed. Whatever the muggle phrase was. "Isn't he, well, a bit daft?"
Hermione's face scrunches in annoyance, "No," she stated in anger, "And you don't have the right to say that about him. You've never had a proper conversation with him. If you're going to talk ill about my friends, you should leave. I don't know why you're still here anyway."
There's the Granger he's used to seeing! The corner of his lips turned upward as he threw up his hands comically in defence, "No offence to him, not really. I'm sure he has a fine… personality. But, I don't think you would be this upset if you saw him as just a friend."
She deflates.
"And I'm here because… well I'm not sure, but you seem to be in need of someone to talk to."
"We're… not friends," she comments, gesturing between the two of them with her index finger.
"I didn't say we were. Doesn't mean that we can't be friendly," the end of his statement fell soft. He truly did believe what he said. If it wasn't for the damn segregation between their houses, ingrained in them since they were eleven, he could see them being friends, long before now, "I understand if you don't want to, well my father…"
"But your father.."
"I am not my father. His sins are not mine, nor will they ever be," he fell back on his elbows, reclining on the step behind him, "I speak as my understanding instructs me and as mine honesty puts it to utterance."
She seemed taken aback, but played along, "I think there is not in the world either malice or matter to alter it."
Theo let out a laugh. "See, we have common interests."
"You read Shakespeare? For fun?" She asked, "I didn't know your lot was even aware of muggle literature."
"You hurt me, Granger." He teases, moving his hand over his heart, "I like to dabble, a bit. I haven't read his entire collection, but I have had the chance to read a few. Found 'Romeo and Juliet' quite a hoot!"
She breathed, rolling her eyes, "The feeling is mutual."
"I thought as Much."
"But why now? Why are you trying to talk to me now?"
She watches as he thought over her question in his head. Why now? Maybe because until now, he had never had her next to him. This was by far the longest conversation they have ever had. He wants to think it was because he never thought of her before. But that really, that wasn't true. He did think about her, more often than he would care to admit. She was hard to ignore, that was for sure. Something else about her drew his attention. She was the exact opposite of him. He was the dark, and she, the definition of Light. Pure.
"Because…" he licks his bottom lip, trying to find his words, "The world is about to go to shite, and I'd like to have at least one good thing going for me before it does."
She seems to ponder over his words, "And what about your friends? Don't any of them know how you feel?"
His eyes bore hard into hers, "Of course not. Do you think I like being a closeted blood traitor? Do you think I like having to live in a closet? Could you imagine what living with them would be like if they knew?"
She nods, her eyes casting away from him, "I understand. But, what would us being friends even look like?"
"I hadn't gotten that far yet," Theo chuckles, he may not ever have approached her if it wasn't for their current situation. Weasley may even be the reason. But at least this turn of events was something, "Maybe we could figure that out, together?"
He could tell she was considering it, by the way she hesitates to continue, "Ok, Theodore."
The uncertainty around them lifted. What was once black and white was becoming grey.
"Call me Theo," He playfully smirks at her brightening smile, "Only my father calls me Theodore."
She held her hand out to him, "Well, Theo, I'm Hermione. Not Granger."
He took her offering hand, he couldn't help but notice how cold it was, but something on the inside was having the opposite effect. His heartbeat picked up. His cheeks flush. Wait, was this something else? Something in the back of his mind clicked into place.
"Are you ok?" Hermione inquired after he hadn't let go.
"It's…" What to say? He lets go of her hand and reaches up to brush the hair away that had fallen in her face, "You've stopped crying."
"I suppose I have. Thank you."
He dropped his hand, resting it back on top of hers, "I didn't do anything, not really. Weasley on the other hand…"
"We don't have to talk about him. It's nothing."
"Clearly," he knew it wasn't nothing, "But for the record, you deserve better."
Hermione narrows her eyes at him, he could feel her rebuttal coming on.
"You think the arguments you two have are private?" He continued, "everyone within earshot can hear how the two of you bicker."
"I get it, you don't like him," She completely ignores his point.
"No, I don't. Though I do like you. It's bullshit watching you deal with him."
"Thanks… I guess," Her eyes wander down to their resting hands, "I don't know why you care so much."
"I…" He wasn't entirely sure why, himself.
Theo looked up to the top of the tower. Acting on spontaneity, he picked up her hand, "Come on, I want to start on my Astronomy paper. You may as well help."
"...Ok," She indulges, allowing him to guide her up to the top of the tower.
The cold didn't seem to bother him anymore. The warmth of their hands connected, fulfilling that original chill. The twinkle of Taurus dominating the pastel blue sky.
Hermione chuckled, Theo's face to scrunch up in question.
"You're not going to just use me for my intelligence are you?"
The corners of his mouth turned upward, "No, Hermione. I do just fine in the realm of intelligence on my own."
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
*Quote from Theo and then Hermione: A Winter's Tale, as spoken by Archidamus, Act 1 Scene 1 - William Shakespeare.