Ray couldn't sleep. Crystal was on her back next to him and in a deep slumber. He watched her ears twitch while thinking about Jenna still. Ray had kept telling himself no since he didn't want to throw himself into her personal life out of nowhere, but he was concerned for her well-being and couldn't ignore it no matter how much he tried. He'd never sleep at this rate.
"Here we go..." he grumbled. He kissed Crystal's head and slid slowly out of bed, throwing on his jeans and slipping into his boots before heading out of the room and to the door.
Ray almost wanted to turn around while walking to her home, but he knew deep down that he had to commit to this. It's not like he was asking Jenna out. He was caring as she had for him after saving his and Crystal's lives. He approached and stopped at her front door, raising his fist. He didn't even know what he was going to say, but still, he knocked and stood back. He'd come up with something.
Ray waited a minute before hearing the door unlock and seeing it open slightly, to his surprise.
Jenna eyed him. "...What is it?"
Ray didn't know what kind of mood she was in, but it didn't sound like a good one. "I, uh... I just came to see how you were holding up."
She didn't reply, resulting in awkward silence.
"...You know, I figured it might be weird. Sorry." On second thought, maybe Ray should have minded his business. He took a step back but stopped after seeing the door open more.
They sat at her kitchen table across from each other in the dark, where a more resounding silence was present.
Jenna broke it. "I didn't realize just how selfish I was until today."
"What makes you say that?" Ray eyed what he could see of her.
"We have an established rule not to endanger the base's inhabitants by bringing in more survivors, especially after the virus' recent mutation." She stared at the table. "It's also highly recommended that you don't leave the base without a human partner or at least a healthy pokémon, and I've disregarded both."
He watched her stand and walk to the light switch at the kitchen's entrance. When she turned it on, he saw the heavy bruising around her jaw and eye and the gauze wrapped around her palm. His heart murmured at the sight.
"I went out yesterday to Sunyshore after midnight alone as well and came home with injuries from people that caught me when I should have lost my life." Jenna turned the light off and sat back down. "I didn't because a good friend of mine— a defender here, followed me with her luxray and saved it— but she was murdered in front of me while her pokémon had to leave her and help me get back home. Amy was her name, and she didn't ask to die. It genuinely should have been me... I knew what I was risking before I left."
He had no idea Jenna was dealing with so much. Did she have anyone left to go to for comfort? "Why'd you go?"
Jenna got up again and walked out to the couch, grabbing the topless and empty bottle of Anastin. She sat back down and rolled it to Ray.
He stopped it and made out the name upon holding the bottle close enough to his eyes.
"I was trying to find medicine to help my brother. We recently ran out of most we had here."
"Jenna…" Ray felt like crying for her. "You weren't doing anything wrong intentionally."
"No. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I have to hold myself accountable... Would you like me to be honest?"
"Of course."
"I'm still here because my pokémon is, and my brother would want me to keep going."
"What does that mean?"
"Because I would have killed myself already otherwise. It's unbearably hard to live with what I've done. It's impossible... It haunts me at every single moment, and just look at what's left of the region we live in."
"Mh..." He got up and walked to her after hearing that. "Jenna, you know nothing about me. Why'd you let me in?"
She kept her eyes on the table.
Ray leaned in slightly. "I could have killed you for all you know, and maybe you wouldn't care if I had, but that wasn't your reason... I believe you wanted someone to be here."
Jenna glanced at him, sniffling.
He crouched beside her chair. "I know your emotions are everywhere and probably have been since this virus started. Maybe you aren't fit to survive what Sinnoh has become or what it comes with... I don't think I am either, but you've made it further than most."
She wiped tears forming in her eyes. "It's so hard."
"I know." Ray wished he could help, but this was beyond him after all that he'd heard. He could only provide his presence. "Will you be able to sleep tonight?"
"Doubt." Jenna's mind wouldn't rest, and no amount of showers had helped.
He knew he would worry about her more than ever from here on out. He didn't feel that she was stable. "I don't want this to sound odd, but–"
"It isn't."
Ray eyed her. He wanted to ask if she'd been eating too, but he didn't want to press and actually make this weird. "Okay... Well, good night."
He left and closed her door before anything else came to mind, sighing before releasing the knob and walking down the road. He really didn't want to leave Jenna alone in the state she was in now. It had killed him to shut her door, but she needed time and still barely knew him. Anyway, Ray was glad he went to her door and hoped she'd push through even after he was gone.
Speaking of gone, he and Crystal would have to be out of here in two days, and he felt exhausted merely thinking about returning to life as it had been. Staying at the Celestic Base was a luxurious break, but a part of him wished he'd never had it.
