A. N. : I never really know how to go about writing romance, honestly, because to me friendships can be just as deep and tender, so I have trouble seeing the difference for myself. With that said, I'm pretty happy with the way I'm writing Suki and Sokka here. They're very sweet, and with all I've put them through, it's nice to see them be happy for once.

Suki sobs in Sokka's shoulder.

She'd never said it out loud, the fact that she – she doesn't want to die. She's thought it, and she talked around it with Toph, but she never said it before. It's weird, the difference it makes.

So she cries, and Sokka holds her, and the sounds escaping from the depths of her chest are thankfully smothered by Sokka's shoulder. She feels his own tears running down the side of her neck.

She didn't think he'd be so hurt by her behavior – didn't think, really, she just felt too bad for that – didn't realize he would ever think so little of himself that getting injured by a sword-master while trying to save her life would feel like an insurmountable flaw.

Maybe it makes sense, in a way. When they first met, he was so full of fake bravado that it was obvious he was trying to make up for something. And more than that, there was the way he worried at the Serpent's Pass, the way he seemed to blame himself for the loss of – this person he cared about. So, maybe Suki could have figured she was hurting him, figured he would think he did something wrong.

She didn't, though. She was too busy blaming her own self and trying to find meaning and safety in numbers.

Sokka's heartbeat and her own are off slightly, she's noticed, and there is now a two beats difference between them, because Sokka's is faster, and it doesn't truly matter, but Suki finds it comforting, the warmth of Sokka's body and the way his heart beats against hers. The way he lives still.

The difference grows to three, and that too is comforting, like a constant of the world. It's distracting, too, and Suki half fears getting her count wrong, or forgetting to count for a time, and fears the terror that might come then, the feeling of impending doom, the near-certainty that something will surely go wrong and it will be because of her.

It's a good thing she didn't notice Sokka's feelings before, in truth. Knowing about them would have only added to the weight of her guilt, and she wouldn't have been able to face him either way.

I didn't mean to hurt you, she tells him, and she can feel him shake his head against her shoulder. He tries to say it's his fault for overthinking things, but she doesn't let him finish – she pinches the skin of his back.

He yelps.

It's not something either of them could help, she says. Doesn't add – just like she couldn't help Toph saving her. She doesn't want to worry him.

Still, he – Suki knows she's changed. She knows Sokka will notice, and she knows he will worry, and will think maybe he did something wrong.

Maybe he'll blame himself for that too, because it's such an absurd thing to think and of course counting, or failing to count, won't cause a catastrophe, just like failing to count the Princess' lightning strikes didn't cause Sokka to get injured in his fight, but she can't help it –

Are you alright ? Suki unclenches her hands, rubs Sokka's back under them, as an apology for grabbing him too hard.

She isn't alright, and she doesn't know if she ever will be again, not fully. It's not something she can say, though. Not like that. Not to Sokka.

I'm – thinking, she says. Settles on. She's been thinking a lot since she was captured, she tells Sokka, about things that make sense, and things that don't. She doesn't think she can stop it.

Suki hopes it will be enough. Hopes Sokka won't ask for details.

He doesn't. He just – nods, and hums, and kisses the side of her jaw, right under the ear. Pressing his cheek against hers, he says he gets it. Says it's fine. Says he thinks pretty stupid things too, a lot, and it's hard to walk himself back from them once they come to mind.

The others help. Suki helps. Having someone by his side who can remind him how the world really works helps.

He can try doing the same for her, if she wants. It she's alright with him.

Suki smiles.

They can be idiots together, then, she says.