Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Five

What if Jenny had lived?

*Flashback* Sunnydale, the world without shrimp - March 1998

Jenny ran. The floor squeaked with every step, the linoleum scratching against her shoes. She wasn't fast enough. Angelus was hot on her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. She raced round the corner and hit the stairs. Her heels clicked to the pace of her heartbeat, thumping away in her chest. Still so alive, so full of adrenaline. If Angelus caught up with her he would kill her point blank, no mercy.

Jenny wanted to look behind her but she couldn't. The fear wouldn't let her. "You can't run forever," Angelus screeched. He was walking quickly, it didn't look fast enough to catch her but he was gaining speed. She kept running, changing direction every few seconds. She had no idea where she was going to end up only that she couldn't stop. She wished Rupert hadn't left, she wished she'd just managed to keep him here. Maybe then they could fight the vampire, they stood a chance. But she'd had to go and screw that one up herself.

The double doors at the front of the school came into view. A wave of relief came over her, a wave that crashed when she realised they'd be locked after hours. She crumpled against them. Her body folded over, her head falling between her hands. "Please don't kill me," she whispered to no one. He was coming close, so close that she could smell the blood on his breath. Poor people he must've killed before coming here tonight. His face was bumpy, his fangs hanging over the edge of his lip. He was salivating like a dog.

Then there came a rattling. The doors behind her shook. At first she thought she was making it up. Then she felt it, clear as day. The doors shook again. Then the lock broke and the door next to her swung open. "GET AWAY FROM HER!" Giles shouted. He stormed through the doorway and shoved Angelus hard in the shoulder. He fell backwards, snarling he began to laugh.

"You and her?" He asked, pointing at Jenny's shaken frame. "Really Rupert I thought you had standards?" He laughed again and scrambled to his feet, baring his teeth. "Come and get me England!" Giles lunged forward with a baseball bat. It whirled around his head before swinging flatly into Angelus, there was a thud before he fell to the floor. Giles held out his hand and pulled Jenny off of the floor, he gripped her tight to his torso and brought them out of the school. Angelus was injured but he wasn't gone, he'd be back for them when he got a chance, but for now they were safe.

Jenny didn't say anything for several minutes, not until she was strapped into the front seat of Giles' car. "Why did you come back for me?" She asked slowly, her words coming back to her in pieces, she was still in so much shock.

"I didn't. I left a book here." Giles replied truthfully. He felt guilty that he hadn't come back for her. That he knew they were all in danger. He had to reassure himself that there was little else he could've done. Jenny was safe now. The thing that was puzzling him was why Angelus went after Jenny in the first place. What reason would he have for killing her? So he asked and Jenny answered.

She told him about the Orb of Thesulah and the Ritual of Restoration. She told him her plan to make it all up to Buffy. She was going to restore Angel's soul and save him. Buffy wouldn't have to fight him anymore, she wouldn't even have to think about killing him. She wouldn't have to forgive him just yet, but she could make a start. She would be able to move on.

So what would happen next...

With all of her files destroyed, Jenny had to start again on her translations of the Ritual of Restoration. She also had to get a new Orb of Thesulah. By the time she got everything she needed for the spell Angelus was already opening the Gateway of Acathla. It was too late. During the first run of the spell the school library was ambushed by the vamp army and Jenny was knocked unconscious.

Willow kept working away on the spell but couldn't quite crack it. Jenny was determined to save Buffy when she came round, so her and Willow did the Soul Restoration spell together. But Buffy had left to fight him, Xander was still bitter and told her to go. The spell restored his soul but she still had to kill him. Buffy still forced herself to leave Sunnydale, leave everything behind and hide herself away in LA.

Over the next two years, Jenny and Giles' relationship grew stronger and stronger as she started to tutor Willow in the magicks. She learnt magic from a proper teacher, someone who had grown up with the gypsies. Powerful magicians who knew right from wrong (despite specialising in revenge). When Amy turned herself into a rat, with Jenny's help, they managed to restore her in just under a week. Amy didn't miss the end of high school, didn't miss prom and didn't spend the next three years stuck as a rodent in Willow's bedroom.

By the time she met Tara she was less interested in experimenting and looking for someone to sustain her magic with. Her and Tara became partners in magic first. They started on a much more even footing. There was no power imbalance between them. But Jenny's power steadily grew, she wished to go past the beliefs of her ancestors. She tried more and more dangerous magicks despite Giles' warnings. She hid spells from him, erased his memory and drained him of his will to train Buffy.

Owning the best magic shop in town wasn't a big help either. It was an excuse for Jenny to hide her addiction. Willow was distracted, she didn't always need Jenny anymore. She didn't notice what was happening behind her back. Giles was too smitten with her to realise. The straw that broke the camel's back was after Buffy died. Jenny was determined to bring her back, determined to save her so that Giles wouldn't sink in a hole of depression. She slaved over her books and found a resurrection spell. She confided her plans in Willow who agreed to help her. Tara stayed away for a while, she came back to check on Dawn and she didn't agree with what they were doing. She loved Buffy but she couldn't mess with the forces of life. Jenny seemed out of control. Tara even tried talk to Giles about it, but Jenny had put him under some sort of spell that made him indifferent to her magic addiction.

The resurrection was a success but it left Jenny feeling reckless. She could do anything she put her mind to. Willow felt something change then, she felt how out of control Jenny was becoming and she ran back to Tara. She was obviously glad Buffy was back but couldn't handle the darkness she'd seen. She was about to expose her for the addict she was when Jenny only grew worse. Her final attempt at a memory spell backfired and everyone lost their memory of who they were. Giles' finally realised what had been going on behind his back and left her. He fled back to London and left Willow and Tara to pick up the pieces.

Jenny crashed her car into a wall and broke her arm in three places. Willow took care of her as a bond had formed between them. She was at her lowest point, there was no coming back from Giles leaving her, there was nothing more she wanted in the world than to be back in his arms again. With or without the magic. So she tried, on Willow and Tara's advice she tried going cold turkey. But the power fizzed around her, the blackness inside her was hurting just as much as she was. It pulled her out of her slump and made her cling to spells.

She ran to the magic shop and absorbed the black magic from every spell book they had. Her face paled, her veins grew dark and visible through her skin. Her eyes blackened like ash and she was reborn into a suit of darkness. She went on a rampage through the town but when the Trio ruined one of her plans, she kidnapped them. She held Warren, Andrew and Jonathan hostage for a month before anyone noticed.

Willow and Buffy pleaded with her to let them go. That they hadn't really done anything wrong and that they needed to be handed over to the police for the things they'd done. Eventually she did but not until after Anya managed to put a spell on her to control her. The gang contacted Giles and he came back. Stormed through the magic shop's door and faced his ex-lover. He melted in front of her. Broke down into a million pieces about how much he loved her. He held her in his arms even as she kicked and screamed. Eventually she fell into him. Her body went limp from crying and drew large wet patches into his tweed.

Giles and Jenny went to the coven in Devon for the summer. Jenny practiced earth magic and the power of Gaia, she found a connection to the spirit of the earth and her and Giles rekindled their relationship. When they came back in the fall, Willow and Tara welcomed her back with caution. But they allowed her to work with them, practice her magic in the safety of the house.

When the First threatened the safety of the town, Jenny helped with the slayer activation spell. She poured her learned powers into the mixing pot and the spell worked strongly first time. A trio of witches is stronger than a single witch alone. Jenny, Tara and Willow became a triple goddess. Their shared power was enough to make Jenny strong again, the darkness purified inside her and settled into a sort of sediment. Her body was a war ground. The white and black magicks argued, they made her sick and tired and left her unable to have children.

After Sunnydale was destroyed, Jenny and Giles went back to England with Buffy. They stayed in the Giles home for a while before getting married. Then when the others journeyed back to California, they got a flat in London and were happy, for a while...

*Flashforward* London, the world without shrimp - November 2006

"Rupert we have to talk about this." Jenny shouted. Their kitchen was a small one but they still managed to find the maximum distance between them. Jenny stood with her back to the counter, her hands outstretched as she argued. Her face frozen in anger.

Giles removed his glasses and sighed heavily. "I don't see what else there is to talk about," he said rubbing his forehead. "We've been over and over this Jenny. I'm just so tired."

Jenny huffed, her arms folding as she sank back against the counter. Her temper was frothing. But she controlled it, reigned herself in and stared at him for a moment. "Have you ever thought about what I want?" She said quietly, letting out a breath slowly. Giles stood away from her, looking at the floor. Looking at anywhere but her.

"What do you want?"

"I want us to be happy. I want us to be a family Rupert. I want-" she hesitated. They didn't talk like this very often and her nerves got the better of her. "I want you to be happy, I want you to be a father if that'll make you happy."

"But you know that we CAN'T!" Giles screamed, his throat sore and rasping. He had waited a moment before answering and now he was glaring her. His eyes bulging as he smashed his glasses against the counter. The glass ripping through his palm and sink into the flesh. He yelped and held his hand to his chest. Jenny stepped forward and held him. "It's too much Jenny, I can't do it all. I can't worry about the dark magic inside you and love you at the same time. I can't think about our future because I don't want us to be broken."

A tear welled in his eye and dripped down his cheek. His throat softened to a raw stiffness. He choked on her hold of him. "It'll be okay Rupert." Jenny said quietly. Nothing was going to make this okay, nothing was going to change the fact that her body was full of dark magic. That what she had consumed in her darkest hour was haunting them now.