DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.
After several weeks had passed, Hermione was still as clueless as ever about how to fix things.
She couldn't go looking for the diadem hocrux till the time she had perfected a safe place to keep it. And such protective charms, she had found, took extremely complicated incantations. Before she could proceed she needed to brew an especially difficult potion. The brewing would be easy but she wasn't sure if she could go plundering through Slughorn's stores without the invisibility cloak or the Map.
Maybe she could wait till Christmas and when Rolf took her and Rab shopping she might be able to get some of the ingredients. Nobody would question her especially if she could somehow sneak into Knockturn Alley and money would never be a problem in this time. She had her own tiny withdrawal vault filled with galleons that could last her years.
Wherever she went she was hitting a roadblock. She couldn't finish her research. She couldn't go looking for the horcrux. She couldn't bring herself to face Lily. She couldn't sort things out with Sirius.
He was hellbent on ignoring her existence entirely. Rab had been quite miffed at his behaviour and had threatened to have a word but Hermione had managed to stop him for the time being.
Rab was extremely disappointed in the young boy he had taken such great liking to. What was more frustrating was the fact that Sirius still talked to him. He still approached him for advice and clues for hidden passages.
It really did hurt Hermione's feelings.
Peter would seek her out occasionally on the weekends when he could and they would spend time together exploring the castle. Of course Hermione didn't need to but it was good company. Peter always managed to surprise her. And for his devotion and still persisting loyalty to her she had happily taken him to the kitchens one Saturday morning.
'How did you find this place?' Peter exclaimed. 'James and Sirius are going to be so excited. Hell, I think even Remus wouldn't mind breaking in here. The bloke loves chocolates!'
Hermione smiled. She was glad the Marauders had so quickly become a tight knit group. She knew it would happen but never realised it wouldn't take them even a year to form such a bond.
'I don't know. I was lost on my way to class one day and I just leaned against that painting of the pear and a door appeared.' Hermione lied.
Peter was being hounded by the many house elves who brought them all kinds of dishes and sweets and drinks.
Peter dug into his chocolate mousse and quickly filled the pockets of his cloak with eclairs as Hermione filled hers with sugar quills.
They left the kitchen and walked out into the grounds.
'Hey, Peter!' James hollered from behind the tree the Marauders often took residence under.
Peter looked apologetically at Hermione. 'I'm sorry.. they're just too prejudiced to look beyond your house colours.'
Hermione nodded, 'Don't worry. I don't care what they think about me.'
Peter left her quietly and she made her way towards the lake. She sat down on a giant rock and took out her wand conjuring tiny rose petals. She had found her rock completely by chance. It was well hidden from the castle and it's occupants. Nobody would see her doing spells even seventh year students had difficulty mastering.
She liked to escape to this tiny haven whenever she could. The castle still haunted her for every corner that she turned around there would be a phantom of someone from her past.
Her ghosts were all over the castle.
The wall which had fallen into Fred. The chamber Remus and Tonks had been in when the two had been hit by the killing curse. The grounds where McGonagall had lay. The Astronomy atower Dumbledore had fallen from. The faraway grounds where Harry had portkeyed to with Cedric's body.
They were everywhere and try as she might she couldn't escape.
Most days she was also hounded by survivor's guilt. Why her and why not them?
She closed her eyes and dozed off into a fitful sleep. She woke up to a warm hand shaking her urgently.
She blinked open her eyes to find a very worried Sirius frowning at her pale, sweating face.
'Hermione! You scared me!' He said.
'What happened?' she mumbled, looking around to see James and Remus carrying some fruit.
Peter said, 'You missed lunch. And then you missed dinner. Your brother is losing his shit.'
'Language,' Remus hissed lightly.
Hermione gasped noticing it really was dark outside. How did that happen?
Sirius went on explaining, 'Then we remembered you came here this morning and figured we'd check. We found you thrashing violently on the ground and muttering like you were crazy! What the hell could you have been dreaming about?'
Hermione blushed scarlet with embarrassment. These boys had just witnessed her in her most vulnerable state. She could have died of mortification. And how on earth could she be so careless? She may be at Hogwarts but leaving her walls down even here could prove to be absolutely disastrous.
Hermione chose to dispel any such thoughts coming from Sirius by picking onto the cold shoulder he shoved into her everyday.
'Finally talking to me then, are you?' She said coldly.
Sirius was taken aback at her harsh tone and looked sorry. 'That had nothing to do with it. I may not be talking to you but that doesn't mean you get to frighten everyone. I need an explanation right now. What was that?'
'I owe you nothing, Sirius. Leave me be. Thank you for finding me.' she got up and brushed some dirt off her cloak. 'I can find my way back.'
She pushed him lightly away from her personal space and turned to leave when James grabbed her sleeve.
Not being able to help herself Hermione whipped out her wand. She hadn't been this paranoid since the day she had arrived in this time. Honestly, what had gotten into her?
Noticing the hurt expression on James' face she muttered an apology.
James said to her calmly, 'We just brought you some food. In case you were hungry.'
Remus offered her an apple and a bunch of grapes timidly.
She smiled and thanked them biting into the apple. She truly was starving.
She walked away from them but Sirius soon caught up.
'You can't just walk away from me.'
'I can and I will.'
'Hermione, tell me what's wrong. Please. Your brother said you were better, that you'd stopped having those nightmares. But I can see it's started again.'
Hermione stopped dead in her tracks. 'He told you? Why would he tell you?' She shrieked at this complete invasion of her privacy.
'All those nights I spent in the room right next to yours you really think I could miss out on the screams that so often woke me up? Hell, even Reggie noticed and he's a very heavy sleeper. We obviously couldn't get in your room but when Rab would leave in the morning we would catch up with him. Don't be mad at him. He really didn't want to say anything but we were.. persistent.'
She whispered, 'You knew all this time? It isn't like you to not have pestered me about it.'
Sirius frowned, 'I am thrilled at your suspicion but look, tell Rab about it at least. I know I haven't been the best friend these past few weeks but.. just tell him.'
Not wishing to pick a fight she merely sped up and ran towards the Slytherin common room.
As soon as she entered she was whisked away into a corner by her brother.
He looked furious and anxious at the same time. 'Where have you been, Hermione Lucinia Lestrange? Have you any idea about how worried I have been the entire day? The entire House has been looking for you. You weren't with Severus as you usually are. You weren't in the library. You were nowhere. I was just about to go speak with Slughorn.'
Hermione mumbled, 'I was out by the lake and fell asleep.'
Her excuse fell flat on his ears. 'You were out by the lake and you fell asleep? For the entire day?'
'Yes.' She said forcefully.
Rab raised his brow, 'I don't believe that.'
'You can ask Sirius. He's the one who found me.'
Rab was surprised. 'He's talking to you again?'
'No, he came looking for me on your behalf since he's still on good terms with you.'
Rab rubbed her back, 'Look, he'll come around eventually.'
'It is so stupid, Rab. I don't see why he's even that upset with me. You're a Slytherin too. I'm not evil. We've been friends for two years. We've spent so many holidays together and he still thinks I've turned into some hag because I'm a Slytherin now.'
Rab chuckled, 'It really is quiet childish but you just have to give him some time. Blokes can be a little hot headed. He obviously cares or he wouldn't have gone looking for you.'
Hermione grumbled, 'Whatever. They're are not worth my time.'
Rab nodded furiously, 'Damn right they aren't. You better keep away from all of them, I'd say.'
Hermione laughed at his overprotectiveness.
'You know. I do wonder what you've been reading when you spend days holed up in the library. Performing a banishing spell on a Howler is not an easy feat. How you managed to do that on your first day at school is beyond me.'
Hermione looked sheepish. She couldn't get out of that.
'You have.. secrets, 'Mi.' He said to her quietly.
Hermione was speechless. She faltered, 'Rab, come now. I'm eleven. I'm not old enough to have secrets.'
He looked unconvinced. 'Just.. just try and stay inconspicuous. I am sure Papa had a talk with you before we left. There are people here at school who are looking out for the smart ones. Especially in our house.'
Coming from Papa worry about Tom had seemed rational but coming from Rab, practically still a child himself really did make her think that Tom was already on his mission and she wasn't privy to anything.
She had to step up her game.