DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.
A certain numbness had taken over Hermione's being. She found herself lost and deranged. She had no bearings of why she was here at all. Death had followed her into this life too and she hadn't been able to do anything about it.
She seemed strong on the outside but only for Rab's sake who had been struggling each day not only with the grief of his grandfather passing away but also with protecting his and his sister's interests from Rodolphus. They had temporarily sought shelter in one of Hermione's dowry homes in Wales which had made her nose wrinkle at such archaic traditions. Rab had continued working in the Lestrange Corporation. Despite the Head's wishes, five out of the twenty seven companies were entirely his to rule.
Even at Hogwarts Hermione could not be drawn out of her shell. She had been enveloped by a profound silence she rarely ever broke. She had distanced herself away from everyone she cared about.
She had stayed away from the Marauders. Not at any cost would she go to them. It hurt too much. To look at Sirius and Remus was a harrowing task.
She was once again plagued by the images of her past. She was once again haunted by her ghosts.
Looking at James was the worst. He kept reminding her of the absence of the only good thing in her life and there was no balm that could help with the ache she harboured deep in her heart.
Peter and Lily had been quite persistent. The Marauders had cooked up an elaborate prank to bring her out of her mourning but they didn't even realise the roots of the problem. How could they?
After the particular stint Hermione had taken to reaching her classes last and leaving first. When she was not in classes or the Great Hall, she had taken to spending her time in the Room, wallowing in her own sadness.
It wasn't because she was weak. She was just tired. Her exhaustion ran deep into the very marrow of her bones. She had been so hopeful when she had arrived here but now it seemed like she had been mistaken.
Nobody could ever realise Hermione had tumbled down a dark and dreary lane where she wasn't just mourning her grandfather. No. She was mourning every single person she had lost in the war. She was mourning for herself.
Months passed and she wouldn't speak. She refused to. Her mind had begun strategizing and planning her next move. She had begun dismantling the various intricacies of Voldemort's Death Eater circle so as to make note of each and every weak spot.
She would join soon. Very soon. She had only to decide when.
Her distance from the Maruaders also served the purpose of faking a fall out with the boys. She'd made it a point to voice out degrading opinions on blood purity wherever she found there was the right company listening. But what made her feel ashamed was that Kingsley was always there. And he saw every little thing she did.
But he understood. And that baffled Hermione. How could he possibly contemplate the reasons behind her actions? But it was so very clear that he did because his eyes held just one single emotion which was pity for the girl before him. He had tried to corner her multiple times but she only ever had cordial greetings for him.
She was simply done. She needed to focus only and only on her mission. She wasn't here to make friends or find love. She was here to save the world.
Leaning against the Mirror of the Erised in the middle of the Room, Hermione hummed under her breath, tracing lines on the shiny surface which housed her two best friends smiling at her.
Harry's hair looked as unkempt as ever and his green eyes bright. Ron's freckles stood out on his pale face. Their reflections visible in the nightlight flooding from the windows on all four walls of the Room.
'It'd be a good time for you to show up, Harry. It's been so.. difficult,' she whispered into the emptiness, 'I don't think I can do this by myself. Look at me.. I'm possessed by my pain.. I'm weak. I will screw up someday and the world will come crashing down on me.. when I join him.. he'll look into my head and who knows one day he might even see everything? What will I do? It's a big risk but I don't see how I can help otherwise. It's about saving every single life and I can't do that if I focus only on the horcruxes. I'm not strong enough to do this..'
She sighed, looking at her friends' faces now looking despondent and apologetic.
'I am so alone.. it hurts every minute. Every breath that I take.. it's stolen.. I miss everyone.. so much.. and it's killing me to be here. I didn't deserve to live. I .. it should have been Ron or .. Ginny. I'm sure Ginny would have been smart enough to have found you by now Harry. And even if she hadn't I'm sure you'd be so happy if she was the one who had made it in my place.. things would have been good for you. You'd have been together. Although.. I would regret never meeting Sirius or the other boys and even your mum.. they're brilliant, you know? Absolutely brilliant. It breaks my heart every time they come running, hoping to break the walls I've built.. they look so shattered .. Sirius looks like it's all his fault and I can't.. I can't even do anything about it.. I've just lost all control and I can't.. I can't speak.. I just can't. Not to them. Not to anyone else.'
She gulped down the dry sobs rising in her throat, 'I need you.. please.. please just come to me, Harry.. I can't do this alone..'
'I can no longer picture them.. everyone back home.. their faces are becoming so hazy. I'm losing the details.. I don't remember the right shade Tonks' hair used to turn into or the sutble differences between Fred and George.. I can't remember Mr Weasley's laugh.. I don't even remember the sound of his voice.. I.. Merlin, I am losing myself.. I don't want to forget.. please..'
She echoed, 'Please..'
Breathing in deeply, she rose on her feet and stared at herself standing between her best friends. Holding their hands in hers.
She reached out a cold finger to touch the smile that her reflection bore. She wished she could keep it for herself but she knew she could find no solace here. What she was doing was beyond unhealthy. Drowning herself in the past would do her no good but she needed something. Anything to ground her. To take her back..
Taking one last look at the imprint of a time long past she turned around and left. Struggling for the emptiness inside her to subside, she paid no mind to her surroundings. She stumbled on her step and fell down on the cold ground after having walked right into the chest of a livid Mulciber.
Mulciber offered her his hand which she took reluctantly. Brushing away the dirt off her robes she nodded at him.
'Severus is a fool,' he muttered to Diana who was hanging onto his arm, 'falling right into the traps those stupid Gryffindor boys set up for him. He just wouldn't lsiten to me. He's posessed by his idea of something being wrong with the Lupin boy.'
Hermione felt her breathing quicken.
'Gone off running after a bait Black gave him,' he mumbled as he walked away, 'Should know he should keep away from the Shrieking Shack.'
Hermione broke into a sweat. This was definitely it. She remembered vaguely something about a life debt Severus owed James because of a prank gone wrong.
His life was at risk.
Oh dear.
She ran down the staircase and past the vacant corridors, all the while horrible thoughts plaguing her mind. She knew it would be okay. She knew he would be safe by the end of the night. But she couldn't just stay away. She had to do something!
Rushing onto the grounds, Hermione made her way to the Whomping Willow billowing its branches dangerously under the cover of clouds. The moon would be out in no time.
Where was he? Had he already gotten in?
She levitated a twig and tricked the tree into stilling itself. Crawling on all fours, Hermione drew herself inside the hidden tunnel, her wand cltuched tight in her hand.
She called out softly, 'Severus? Are you there?'
With careful steps she walked deeper into the tunnel, a sense of foreboding creeping up on her.
'Severus?'
Her voice still a hoarse whisper from the past few hours, she kept walking. Finally reaching the Shack she came to a standstill. What now?
She could hear faint noises in the room above. She knew it was the boys.
Crouching down she crept upon the padded landing of the Shack and strained her eyes to see. Climbing up the stairs carefully she willed her ears to pick up on each and every sound. Just another step and she found herself right in front of the room.
She peered in and saw Remus sitting on a bed with misery etched into the lines of his face. Sirius sat beside him, clutching his head, looking worried and detached. James and Peter merely stood on the sides awaiting the moon.
Severus wasn't here. Had Mucliber been lying? But a lie so close to the truth. No. Something didn't add up.
Hermione felt uncertain. Should she leave?
Shuffling aside, her shoes made a crunching noise. She saw Sirius and Remus look up, their noses crinkling.. they could sniff her!
Sirius muttered, 'It's Mi! Crap!'
His face morphed into one of utter mortification. Getting up he walked out and opened the door. He thundered, 'Are you out of your mind? What are you doing here?'
Hermione was startled into shock. She kept her mouth shut, at a loss of a proper response.
'Hermione, you have to leave.' James came up. 'Now! It's dangeorus and you know it. It's about to begin and..'
Remus commented, 'Mate, there's someone else here too.. '
Peter looked around, 'What? Blimey! What the hell is going on?'
James cast a quick Lumos, the light at the tip of his wand glaring down at the smirking face of a very content looking Severus Snape, standing hidden behind a tapestry.
Hermione saw Sirius look at him, aghast and slightly guilty. 'You blithering idiot! You actually believed me? Are you out of your mind? Leave, both of you. NOW!' He grabbed Severus by his cuffs and began dragging him away.
Severus fought him off and landed a resounding blow on Sirius' face. 'Don't touch me! The secret's out. I knew it all along. Your little friend here is a pathetic little monster.'
Remus' face lost all colour as he thudded down against the wall.
'Wait till I let the school know. I shall enjoy it thoroughly when he's thrown out. I wonder what Dumbledore will have to say about it.'
Peter said urgently, 'You should really leave.. it could begin any minute now.'
Hermione cleared her throat, 'You'd be foolish to think Dumbledore doesn't know already. Let's go, Severus. You know it's not safe. Come on!'
He sneered at the boys, 'You're done for. I'm going to have you all..'
Severus was interrupted by the sounds of cracking bones and a howl of pain coming from Remus. His eyes grew wide. He fumbled for an escape.
Sirius muttered, 'Not so brave now, are you?'
James yelled, 'Not the time for arguing. Just run, you two!'
Hermione grabbed Severus' hand as James herded them away. They hadn't even made it to the stairs when Hermione saw Padfoot struggling to keep Moony away, now howling in mirth at the sight of innocent prey.
Wormtail was trying to sway him away, grab the wolf's attention in any way possible.
Hermione understood the need for James to turn. She pushed him away and dragged Severus with her. She saw James nod at her and run into the room.
It seemed Severus had missed out the entire exchange, now panicked and unresponsive.
'I'll have to levitate you this way, Severus. Get a grip on yourself!'
Severus's feet gave out at the sight of the wolf who had broken out of the hold of his friends and was now standing before the two humans, his yellowing teeth bared at them and his claws aiming for the skin on the boy's face. Severus' ashen face broke into a sweat as he felt warm liquid pool down the length of his trousers. He fumbled and sunk down into the mess he'd created. Not a minute had passed and he fainted.
Hermione heard a scuffling behind the wolf and saw Padfoot and Prongs trying to make the wolf turn away. Padfoot bit into his leg as Prongs prodded his back. Any other night and it would have worked but Moony was presently driven by bloodlust. His senses were picking up on human blood and nothing they did could calm him down.
Moony thrashed and uttered a guttural growl at the base of his throat and broke free, running towards the children. His leering face hovered above theirs. Any minute now they'd be turned.
Adrenaline kicked in. Hermione was taken back to her childhood years when facing an adversary was an all too common thing. She was taken back to the years of war as her reflexes came plunging out. Whipping out her wand, Hermione screamed, 'Etiamlupinus!'
A shot of yellow light burst out from her wand and hit Moony in the chest, immobilising his body midstep.
Padfoot turned his sharp gaze on her as Prongs attempted to get back up on his feet, Wormtail trying to console him.
'Pareris,' she mumbled, knowing all too well the risk she was running on Remus' life. She only hoped she was doing it right because if she wasn't she had just willed not only Moony but also Remus to always do her bidding.
She reached out telepathically to the wolf and commanded him to sleep the night away, not rousing even once before sunup.
Moony fell down into a heap. Hermione looked at the various scratches on his body and muttered, 'Resinas.' She watched as the cuts healed and the skin sew itself back.
Walking around him she reached the other canine behind him.
She whispered, 'Not everything is a joke, Padfoot. You could have cost him his life. Imagine the pain it would have caused Remus. He would be shattered.'
The dog shied away from her penetrating gaze.
'You betrayed your friends. It's a good thing he passed out when he did. He didn't see any of you turning into your forms. One tiny thing to be happy about..' she muttered.
Turning around she cleared away the mess at Severus' feet. Holding onto him tight she flew away out of the tunnel and onto the grounds.
When revived, Severus crawled away from her and retched into the bushes. He was overcome by a coughing fit as Hermione steadied herself on her feet.
Getting up she walked over to him and looked at him sternly. 'Dumbledore is bound to have words with you. He will make you swear secrecy.'
Severus glared. 'I could have died. He's a dangerous monster. He is a threat!'
'Oh, shut up Severus. You listened to Sirius out of all people. You know he hates you. And you still listened to him. What he did was wrong. But punishing Remus for his faults will do you no good.'
'How could you possibly take their side? Are you out of your mind? You're defending that.. mongrel!'
She sighed. 'I don't care about your rivalry. You owe me a life debt.' She smirked, 'And I'm invoking it right now.'
Severus paled, 'What do you want?'
'You will never join Voldemort or do his bidding or aid him in any way possible. You will not help the Dark Side by any means. You shall leave the country after finishing school on a scholarship provided by the Lestrange Corporation and finish your studies on mastering potions abroad.'
Severus looked stricken. 'You can't ask me to do this.'
'I just did. Your love for Lily may be true but every day you choose your Death Eater friends over her.' It wasn't because he had called her a mudblood that Lily had decided to end their friendship. It was because he had discarded her. 'I had thought that perhaps it would guide you into the Light but I was wrong. So you leave me no choice. I shall resort to manipulation. You know what happens if you don't follow through my words and ignore the debt you owe me.'
Severus looked away.
'You will do well to remember your allegiance lies with me.'
She proceeded to bind him to an Oath, swearing him into silence.