DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

'Quidditch, my lovelies, is the most exhilarating adventure I've ever lived,' James sniggered. 'Such a shame you blokes suck at it.'

He jumped into his bed, carelessly throwing away his robes, changing into his favourite pajamas. He quickly muttered a heating spell to keep himself warm as he glanced at Remus studiously pouring over his notes. Peter was still experimenting with a hybrid toffee they were specifically designing for their next prank. It would be a mix of bogey and grass flavours with a bright red colour to mislead the poor Hogwarts student body into thinking it was a sweet.

James threw a pillow at Remus, 'Oi, mate, come on. Exams are a million days away.'

'Months, Prongs, months,' Remus muttered under his breath.

'You're going to ace every bloody subject,' he cajoled, 'except maybe potions,' he added as an afterthought.

Remus got up, putting his journal away and picking up some chocolate, 'Slughorn must hate me for all the trouble I put him through.'

Peter laughed, 'It's not you, Remus, don't worry. It's Moony. He just hates the smell. You can't blame him for having a superhero sense of smell.'

James piped in, suddenly excited, propping himself on his elbows, 'Hey, how about we get Sluggie to take a dip into the Black Lake? That will be the most legendary thing we do, I bet.'

Peter clapped him on the back as he passed him by before plunging into Remus' stock of chocolates. 'Nah, we should do it with Filch. Put Mrs Morris in too.'

'We will be remembered for all the generations to come, then,' James snickered.

Remus shook his head fondly, 'There are better things you should be trying to be remembered for other than attempting to drown a poor old man in a lake which is home to not only the Giant Squid but Merpeople, who, let me tell you, can be absolutely vicious. And Merlin knows what else hides asay in the lake's murky waters.'

'Please, Filch is no poor old man. That man's always on the prowl.'

'The bloke doesn't even have a missus! No sane bird would put up with him', Peter exclaimed.

'Dear Lord, what if some woman as demented as him did end up marrying the idiot? They'd becime invincible! They'd hunt us down as a sport.'

Just as Remus was about to point out his ridiculous claims, the boys were startled into a surprised silence as they saw Lily walk in, followed by Sirius who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

The pair looked like they'd been through something incredibly off-putting, both of them sporting morose expressions.

They saw as Sirius put away his bag and quietly got into the bed, shutting himself away from the world by pulling the drapes over his bed, something he never did.

James was at a loss. He didn't understand. Sirius had always insisted on keeping the drapes open ever since he had found out about James' night tremors. They had stopped sharing the same bed years ago but Sirius' thoughtfulness always helped him maintain a semblance of reality when he slept.

He turned towards Lily. She had never before stepped inside their dormitory. He observed her shyly walk upto Remus and settle in his bed with just the tiniest bit of discomfort creeping in.

Remus, shocked, promptly got up and plodded over to Peter's bed, the two boys looking expectantly at the redhead.

Lily Evans was many things. She was brave and fierce and loyal. She was smart and witty and a girl not to be trifled with. What she was not was a girl who gave in easily to her emotions.

No, she never cried. Not when she was ridiculed and not when she was humiliated by the one word that followed her everywhere. James had personally seen her being bullied for being a muggleborn but never had he seen her resolve crumble. Even his incessant pursuing hadn't elicited a very strong reaction and he admitted he had been a tad bit insensitive.

Hell, the girl had remained levelheaded even when she had received a letter from her sister the previous month telling her how she was getting married but Lily's presence was not welcomed. It was practically the end of her family.

But as he saw the unshed tears in her eyes that night James could only feel a couple of emotions.

Intrigue and rage.

He had not even the slightest idea about what could have broken her. But whatever it was woukd be fixed.

He would fix it for her.

James hesitated only for a moment before he rushed towards her, holding her as she broke into silent sobs. He looked for any sign of an injury on her but found none. He stared into her eyes, seeking answers. She looked away, tears streaming down her face. He spared a glance in the direction of Sirius' bed, debating whether he should prod him and find out the roots of this little debacle.

But something told him he shouldn't. The emptiness he had seen in his eyes had chilled him.

What the bloody hell was going on?

He had never seen Lily like this. Her deflated shoulders shook as her hands clutched onto him, using him to tether herself.

She sniffed, looking at him desperately, 'I am such a mess. I bet that isn't something you'd like to deal with so late at night. I swear I didn't plan on doing it this way.'

'Come now, Evans. Go on, tell us. What is it?'

She took a deep breath, 'I know Sirius isn't up to it just yet but you need to know.'

She got up on her feet, settling in on the window seat, looking out and tracing patterns on her robes. 'I have never truly given much thought to it when I am called a mudblood. It always hurt as it does with every victim of racism. I was being pitted against because of my blood. My blood. How ridiculous is that. But I had persevered even when it felt like I wasn't only just being shunned at school for being different but also at home for being a freak of nature. My parents still loved me but I was suddenly a stranger to them and my sister, as you know, hates me. I didn't find acceptance in either of my worlds and every time someone insulted me.. humiliated me, I just figured I'd create my own little space someday.'

James looked at her, the raw emotion in her voice causing spikes of anger to pitch inside him.

Remus and Peter too sat enthralled, saddened by her struggle.

'It's alright when you don't care about the person telling you how you don't belong but when it comes from someone you had thought was yours.. someone you had thought came from the very society bred onto such irrational ideals but still accepted you wholeheartedly .. someone you really thought was your friend.. it doesn't seem okay anymore.'

James squeezed her hand, 'Lily, you can tell us. Whatever it is.'

She smiled sadly and launched into the events of the night, not leaving out a single detail lest Sirius have to relive one of his worst memories. Her eyes flitted over to the three boys, all of whom remained standstill, netiher one speaking up.

'Please don't just stay quiet,' she begged.

Peter was the first to respond. He laughed lightly, 'Evans, as proud as I am of you to be finally letting yourself give in to the thrill of life, this is kind of a sick joke.'

Lily shut her eyes tight, 'I wish it was.'

James let go of her hand, shaking his head adamantly, staring out into the night sky.

He heard Remus shuffle onto his feet, 'Lily, it doesn't make sense. Hermione was with us just last night. Laughing and crying just like the way it had been before .'

'Remus, I wish I didn't have to be the one to tell you but I am not lying. I would never lie about something like this.'

Peter yelled, 'What the hell? This is crazy! Tell me you don't believe this. Come on, it's just Padfoot. It's some sort of terrible trick he's trying to pull on us. Hermione is not a Death Eater.'

Remus held onto the bedpost, ignoring the screaming. He focused only on breathing in and out. In and out.

Hermione was his friend.

He held up a hand as Lily opened her mouth. He said, very quietly, 'Lily. The truth. You saw the Dark Mark? Are you certain?'

'Even if my eyes have somehow been deceived my hearing clearly hasn't,' Lily replied with conviction.

Peter knocked over his bedside table, standing firmly before the girl. 'It's not true. Hermione isn't one of them. She's the bravest of us all and we're ruddy Gryffindors. She would never give up on her values and she's the one girl you can count on to fight for the rights of every creature there is. Hell, I'd bet my money on her to fight even for house elves!'

Lily looked torn. She hated to be the bearer of such news. 'Peter, there is nothing for me to gain by lying to you.'

'No!' He turned towards Remus, his eyes flashing amber, the wolf within struggling to break out. 'Surely, you don't believe this. Moony, Hermione was the first person to accept you. She was there for you when nobody was. None of us even knew and she was supporting you all that time. She'd have outed your secret that very minute if she'd believed in all this pureblood supremacy. Damnit, the girl risked her life for us only a few months ago.'

Seeing Remus set his blood on fire. How could he remain so passive?

He walked up to James and shook him by his shoulders. James only stared at him absently, hollow eyes seeking his.

Peter whispered, furious, 'Prongs, you built a tree house with her. No Death Eater would build a bloody tree house with the heir of the most famous supposed blood traitors in Britain. Tell me you don't buy this crap.'

Peter rubbed at his eyes.

He fought his friends. He fought himself.

His mind kept taking him back to that lonely night he'd found her, head bent over her milk down in the kitchens.

She had been speaking about family obligations. She had told him how she would soon have to give in.

He knew it had to be true. He knew it because she had more or less said it to his face and all he had done was laugh at her, thinking it to be a meaningless tirade. He had shouted at her but never tried to get to the bottom of it.

He felt like shit.

He felt like the crappiest friend in the world as he slid down to the ground under the weight of his guilt.

Remus placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, 'Wormy, we don't know the reason behind her initiation. Maybe.. maybe it was Rodolphus. I mean, he's the Head of the family now. Maybe she was forced into it.'

Lily whispered, 'She's not the kind of person to be forced into doing something and even if she was then she'd never have bullied a child.' She croaked, 'She'd never have called me a mudblood.'

The three turned to James pleadingly.

James hated moments like these. He knew the Marauders looked up at him as the ringleader. Nobody had specified the rules but it had always just been that way.

His heart battled with his head.

It was true. Hermione wasn't the kind of girl to be forced into bending her will. She would never go out without a fight. And it didn't seem like she was being blackmailed. The only person she might join would be for Rab. But Rab, as far as he knew, was seen frequently out and about. He was safe.

He seemed safe.

Or could it be that Rab, too, was one of them now?

James knew he was in denial. But what else was there to do? He couldn't just condemn one of his oldest friends.

But everything pointed against her. Lily would never lie. And Sirius' solemn face was indication enough of his broken heart. The boy never stayed still, not even when asleep.

He sighed, 'We have to lay off of her. Maintain our distance. At least for as long ..'

Remus interrupted, 'Mate, if she's being threatened then we need to help.'

'And what if she's not? She's one stubborn bird and you know it. I don't want to believe it. Trust me, I don't but what Sirius and Lily saw couldn't just be an illusion.'

Peter snapped, 'How can you be so casual about this? You don't even look like you care!'

James retorted, 'We can't all be breaking down, Pete. We're in a war. We may not be the players yet but we're not much far away, are we?

'Hermione is the first casualty. There are going to be so many more. I hope she's being forced because that means there's a chance this is all a mistake and that one day we can bring her back to us. I don't like this any more than you do but we can't just go in wands blaring. We have to stay away because if she truly is being blackmailed or some crap like that then we'd not only be endangering ourselves but her too. Think about the risks. For her. She'd be punished for associating with us. And if .. if this is out of her own sheer will.. then we'd be risking our lives.'

Peter looked at him, incredulous.

James went on, 'I love her. She's like a sister to me but .. we can't just.. we can't .. look, I don't know what to do,' he said, exasperated 'I don't know what to do here. So don't look at me expecting all the answers. Please..

'Just.. Merlin, I love her,' he whispered. 'She's my sister!'

Lily hugged him to her, wiping away the tears in his eyes. 'We have to be strong. We have to.. if this is real.. if this is truly happening and we've lost her, it's all the more important for us to stick together and be the anchor for each other. We can't let this war claim any more of us. We have to be strong!'

James didn't know what happened next. He didn't know when Lily had left or when he had gotten into bed. He didn't know what had happened to Remus or Peter.

He remembered the numbness. He remembered the feoeings of listlessness and desolation.

All he knew was that he spent the next four hours in excruciating pain as he lay, sleep evading him like the curse and his mind running a thousand miles an hour.

It felt like a crude awakening. Never before had he come so close to the war. Sure, he'd heard his parents furiously whisper to each other. He had sometimes found his mother crying over another dying man or woman. He had seen his father come home looking haggard and exhausted at the oddest hour.

But the war had been just that. A battle to be won.

Definitely not a fight for his life.

Could it be? Had he truly lost a sister that night? Was it that night or had it happened long ago? How long had she been fooling them, if it was indeed true and not just a grand scheme of the universe meant to torture him?

He closed his eyes, sighing into the silence. His ears perked up as he heard a pair of footsteps make their way to the door.

Sirius.

He crept out of his bed, following him silently as he saw him navigate the Map to leave the warmth of the castle and step into the harsh cold of the night.

James knew Sirius was aware of his presence. But he maintained the facade.

Sirius took him to the tiny hidden rock they had found Hermione under the shelter of all those years ago. Maybe that had been the foundation of his friendship with her.

Who could tell?

Even when he'd met her the first time when she had literally fallen into his lap, hugging him like she'd known him her entire life, breathing into him all her love, James had somehow known that this girl.. this tiny little force of nature would come to mean the world to him.

But then the illusion broke that night.

And it left him feeling so miserably hollow.

Sirius whispered, 'I lost my brother years ago and today I lost my.. Mi.'

James turned to look at him, the pain he had tried to hide evident in his eyes. He nudged his shoulder lightly, 'I know, mate. Sucks, doesn't it?'

'Damn right it does,' he barked, breaking into uncontrollable laughter. His maniacal cackles scared James. It scared the shit out of him. But when his laughter turned into hiccoughs and they turned into sobs, James felt himself break.

He wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close.

'Deception is a funny little thing. All I feel is so much.. anger. Disappointment. Disillusionment. What am I supposed to do now, Prongs?'

'I.. I don't know. I guess .. we just try to move on.'

'It's a sick, pathetic existence without her. Everything seemed perfect and now it's all broken at the seams. How did we ever get here?' He asked, his voice small 'Do you mourn someone who's still alive?'

'Our Mi is still in there somewhere. All of our time together couldn't have been a lie, Padfoot. It wasn't a lie.'

He stared lifelessly at the still waters, 'Then why did she have to leave us like this? Why did she have to leave me?'

James enveloped his brother, trying to shelter him from the horrors of his life but failing miserably. How could he hold him when he, too, felt like it was the end of the world?

'What do I do now?', he asked him again.

James shrugged sadly, 'You hold onto her memories and hope that one day she remembers too.'