DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.
'You should eat, Remus. The full moon's right around the corner.'
'I don't have much of an appetite, Lily, I'm sorry..,' Remus trailed off, through a half hearted attempt at putting his thoughts into words.
'You can't keep going on this way, come on, eat up. You need to keep your strength,' Lily stressed.
Harry heard someone sigh deeply from his vantage point right outside the parlour in the hideout currently being used to look for Hermione. They had spent the last twenty three days, sleeping and eating and spending each waking hour in the small house. He observed the scene quietly from his place, his fists curled tightly around the lion head of his cane, dark circles beneath his eyes and a barely restrained rage hiding under his skin.
It was a strange conglomeration of people considering the recent events. The events that had transpired with the Death Eaters in regards with Peter had already been concrete proof for the Lestranges' innocence and following the night Hermione had been attacked Harry, too, had come out and revealed himself as the leader of the Resistance to the Marauders.
It had been Dumbledore who had brought them together to figure out a way to bring her back. The situation did require a collective effort but Harry couldn't help it if there was a traitorous part of him that kept screaming at the absurdity of it all.
Hermione was his to protect. She was his responsibility however selfish and unfair it might sound. The people in the room barely even knew her, all that she had achieved and all that she had lost. It was true Hermione had drifted apart from her friends for their own good but the ease with which they had forsaken her burnt a hole in Harry's heart even though they happened to be the people be most desired to be with. He couldn't let them be absolved so effortlessly.
The restlessness at the base of his gut kept growing with each passing day. Not a minute went by when he didn't think of her. He hadn't felt this helpless in a very long time. How could he have when Hermione had always been with him, coming up with solutions for all the trivialities of the war. It felt morbidly like the time Hermione had been captured soon after Hogwarts' fall in the original timeline. He could still picture the emptiness in her eyes when Charlie Weasley had wrapped his arms around her and carried her out of Malfoy Manor, her clothes torn to shreds and her dignity stolen away. It had taken her days to recover from the vacant look that had haunted her since.
He sighed heavily, sending out prayer after prayer to keep her safe. He couldn't lose her. Not after everything they had been through. Merlin forbid if he did, Harry was bound to crash and fall. The very idea of the world without Hermione in it sent shivers up his spine.
He heard heavy footfalls inside the room, hushed tones conversing with each other, waiting for Rab to arrive for the meeting to begin.
Harry had decided to stay out of sight until he absolutely had to reveal himself. It wasn't pleasant to be in the company of others, not even if it meant he could spend time with his family.
The first few days had been intimidating. He had skirted around everyone, trying to figure out where he stood. But his worry over Hermione had soon squashed any desire he had of being close with his parents. There might be an opportunity later if the fates allowed it, he told himself.
So to avoid the pain of being on the outside looking in, he chose isolation. It was better for him to be left alone when all he could do was obsess. Nobody needed to bear the burden of an obsessive Harry, he felt.
There was a sudden movement and Harry heard someone smash their fist against the wall.
'We're not doing enough! It's been over three weeks. Three weeks! And we are nowhere even close to finding her.' A slight pause. And then in a desperate plea Sirius cried out, 'Merlin knows what they're doing to her.'
Lily took a deep breath, once again stepping up to be the anchor for them all. 'Sirius, we've been over this. We're doing everything we can. Every person in this room cares for her. Nobody is happy that she's gone. For Merlin's sake, we've infiltrated the Malfoy Manor thrice. Harry nearly lost his arm in getting out of that place safely. We were so close to losing Remus to the Death Eaters! We may be out of ideas at the moment but we will find her.' She placed her arm gently around his waist, 'Trust me, we will. Dumbledore's in it too. I'm sure he's going to find a way if we can't.'
'I don't know, Lily,' Sirius threw himself into the sofa. 'I just worry that by the time we have it figured out there may not be anyone left to save..'
'You can't afford to think like that, mate,' James said, his voice reassuring. 'The moment you do everything will already have been lost.'
'What am I supposed to do then?' Sirius wrung his heads through his hair. 'Years we spent shunning her, dreading her, resenting her when it should have been plain for us to see thay she was putting her life on risk every day. I mean we were her friends, Prongs! If not us then who would have helped her? I was her friend and I failed to notice her.. I failed .. I failed her.. I failed her..'
Harry felt his own heart break a little as he heard the muffled gasps of his godfather, a tremble rising up his throat.
'Padfoot, don't blame yourself,' Peter mumbled somberly. 'It wasn't just you who failed her. We all did. You're being too hard on yourself. We're all to be equally blamed.'
'To even think of what she's been through,' James sighed, moving to stand by the fireplace, his voice sounding crushed. 'Spending every moment on the lookout with nobody, nobody to have her back. I can't imagine the toll it takes on someone.'
'But she wasn't alone,' Remus whispered.
Everyone's eyes whipped onto his face. Remus seemed to not have noticed his slip. He hadn't meant to say it out aloud.
He breathed slowly through his nose. He said quietly, 'She wasn't alone. We may have abandoned her. We may have left her to fend for herself but she wasn't alone. She had Harry.' He looked away, 'We don't deserve to feel this way.. we,' he paused, pain lacing his voice, 'we don't deserve any part of her .. least of all her forgiveness.'
There was a rustling of papers. Harry held his breath, unsure if he should leave. This wasn't something meant for his ears. He couldn't stay and lay witness to their most private feelings.
James shifted his feet, the exahustion in his voice clear. 'Okay, you lot, that's enough now. We need a clear head to even hope to figure out what to do next. We owe it to Hermione. All this time she's been saving our necks, all of our lives, and now it's our turn to return the favour. So buckle up. For her sake.'
He reached out his hand to pat Sirius gently, who sat quietly in a corner, his back turned on the others. 'You need to be strong, mate,' he said.
Sirius merely shrugged his shoulders, leaning onto the backrest and rubbing his hands over his face tiredly.
James looked helplessly towards Remus and Peter, both of whom merely stood up, their heads hung in shame and their steps quiet and slow.
There was the sound of someone Apparating, alerting Harry to rise on his feet and head towards the door. Seeing a haggard looking Rab enter, his gloomy eyes shadowed and his shoulders hunched, Harry rushed to grasp him by the hand and usher him inside the parlour.
The Marauders shared a look amongst themselves, their shame heightening as they looked at the older Lestrange and his weary steps. Another bout of guilt at the way they had treated him and his sister wracked their bodies.
Lily cleared her throat loudly and announced, 'Dumbledore won't be able to make it tonight. He's busy with some Order business.'
She waited hesitantly for someone to say something, an overwhelming desperation leaking through her stance.
'Any new leads? Any ideas?'
'We've been through them all,' Rab muttered, his voice defeated. He stood unmoving to the side, blending in with the shadows, a haunted look in his eyes.
'There's only one way left now, isn't there?' Sirius called out into the deafening silence. 'We get our hands on one of those bastards and torture it out of them.'
Remus chastised him gently, 'You know we can't do that.'
'And why the hell not?' Sirius yelled. 'We can't keep playing by the rulebook, for Merlin's sake. I don't care what it takes. I'll do it.'
'I don't have a problem with it either,' Peter asserted. 'We're already on our last resort. We've done our fair share of hurting. We're doomed as it is. Might as well go all the way.'
'You know Dumbledore won't allow it,' Lily cried out.
'To hell with him then!' Sirius hollered. 'He's not the one paying the price, is he?'
'Sirius, control yourself,' James said sternly. 'Don't take that tone with her.'
Harry saw the palpating distress in his mother's eyes, leaving a soft pang in his heart. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had said something aloud, having chosen to stay quiet if not absolutely necessary. It was better that way.
His own voice felt strange and rough around his words. 'There might be a way,' he said softly, grasping at the edges now, the helplessness in his mother's gait pushing him to spill.
He saw as everybody's head whipped into his direction except for Rab who kept listlessly staring outside at the darkening sky, his hopelessness evident.
'What are you talking about?' Sirius frowned, his body jumping into action. 'We'll do it.'
Harry shuffled onto his feet clumsily, his body overstrained with stress. He looked at the forlorn expression on his godfather's face, the angry glint in his eyes burning, so reminiscent of the older Sirius Black he had loved.
'Whatever the risk, I'll do it,' Sirius whispered.
Harry nodded tightly, moving to stand before Rab, his sole presence demanding him to look into his eyes despite the uncertainty he felt. But he needed to get it out. He needed to voice it so he could share his burdens. The weight of this idea that he spent all his time ruthlessly obsessing about was pushing him into the swirls of insanity and he didn't know how long he could take it.
He observed how Rab remained still, his thoughts turned inwards.
Struggling with the knowledge of what he was about to say, Harry took in a deep breath, the desperation in his being leaking out into his words. 'We make an exchange.'
The effect was instantaneous. Rab stormed onto his feet, the chair he had only just sat in clattering to the floor with a loud noise. There was a fear rampant in his eyes.
He dared not hope.
'There is nothing else that I can think about,' Harry said carefully, his eyes regarding everybody around him. 'We have played our cards. We have tried everything there was to do. But in order for me to do it, I'm going to need help.'
Sirius shifted, sharing a tense look with James, both of their eyes trained onto the foreign man.
Harry moved to stand in the very center of the room, the cold winter night seeping through his bones. Before he could even begin to explain he felt a tight grip on his arm. He turned around slowly, shame beginning to surround him.
'Could you do it?' Rab bit out. 'Do you have it in you to do it?'
The Marauders saw the strange scene unfurl silently, the confusion evident in their faces.
'What's going on? What are you not telling us?' Peter said in a rush. 'What is it? What can we do? How can we save her?'
Harry ignored everyone, shying away from the accusation in Rab's eyes.
'It's your call, Harry, but do you really think you can go ahead with it?' Rab's voice was laced with a barely concealed yearning to do the deed, however insane. He let out a soft gasp, incredulity marring his expression. He let go of Harry's hand, laughing to himself like a madman. 'That's false hope and you know it,' he spat. 'Don't play with their feelings, Harry. And above all don't play with your own.'
Rab moved to stand away, reflecting once again inside himself, the emptiness inside his heart croaking against his chest. He pitied Harry, he really dis but that didn't stop him from marvelling at the lengths be was ready to go to but it was all in vain this time around.
He would not hope.
'She's worth it,' Harry said in a small voice.
Rab turned to look at him sharply. 'One life against so many? The Chosen One could never do it. You could never do it.' He grabbed onto the edge of the table as his scornful laughter turned into dry sobs, his heaving shoulders trembling and his sharp breaths loud and clear to every occupant in the room, igniting in them a feeling of great helplessness. 'Even if you did she would never forgive you..and you couldn't live with that.. Hermione couldn't live with that.'
Harry let out an inhumane growl then and thundered, 'What in the world am I supposed to do then? I can't just sit here doing nothing! It's eating me alive! It's killing me! She's here, she's alive and she's in pain but I can do nothing!' He felt his eyes fill up as his hand gripped the top of his cane tightly, 'I can do nothing!'
Rab gulped audibly, avoiding looking Harry in the eye.
Harry's voice turned wild and crazy, his hands thrown up on the air. 'Do you have any idea what it feels like to lose everything? Your family .. your friends .. your whole damn life right down to the reason you keep holding onto hope. I lost everything! Do you have any idea what that feels like? I'm sitting here, helplessly watching as the one last person that I care about is inching closer to Death day after day after day. Do you?!'
James cleared his throat, tugging at Lily's hand, pulling her away and motioning for the others to follow.
Sirius looked reluctant but something inside him allowed to relent. He let himself be dragged away by Remus, every part of him rioting.
Heeeded to know. He needed to know if there was something he could do, whatever it was, however impossible, however dangerous.
Harry barely noticed as the room emptied, leaving only a haggard looking Rab, now stumped over the chair he had been sitting in, his eyes downcast and his throat constricted with emotion.
'I have lost everything I held dear, Rabastan,' his voice turned mellow. 'I lost my parents. I lost the second best thing I had to a parent. I lost my friends. I lost every damn thing I could have ever cared about and now I'm going to lose her. I can't let that happen,' he shook his head, his voice a bare whisper. 'I can't lose her too.'
Rab looked up slowly, each step levelled and measured. He opened his mouth almost as if to say something but he shut it before a single sound could escape. A strange silence enveloped the two, the heavy steps on the floor above the only indication of life inside the little cottage.
Rab pressed a hand against his chest, the other wringing through his hair. His voice turned somber, losing the hardened tone from before as he faced Harry. 'You can't give up, mate. Not just yet. You can't do that.'
Harry snorted through his tears, dropping down into his armchair. 'I know it's reckless and stupid. I can't.. I can't give away the Horcruxes to save her but Merlin forbid, I want to. It's the only thing I can think about and I'm so, so scared that I'll do it. If I don't find her soon, Rab, I'll do it and I'll spend the rest of my cursing myself but I'll do it.. I know you want me to. I know I shouldn't but I.. I swear.. I swear I'll do it..'
Rab looked on as Harry bowed his head, sobs making their way through his chest and choking his breath as he cried in a way he had never allowed himself to before. The sounds of his cries grew louder, each a dagger to Rab's heart, his own eyes beginning to well up. He extended a tentative arm around the raven haired man but stepped away, almost burned as Harry jerked away.
'Harry, please.. I'm sorry..'
A stab of shame passed through Rab as he remembered his promise of being family to the boy. He had spent days drowning in his own misery, forgetting for a while that there was a man in pain greater than he could ever imagine at having lost his last remaining family.
Harry let out a soft breath. A sudden change overcame him as he smiled almost wistfully, his eyes glazing over, his mind taking him to the distant past. 'I have been fortunate in having so many people care for me, you know? I may have lost my parents but I have been loved. Most of all by her.'
Rab's ears perked up. Harry and Hermione never talked about their past almost as a rule. Something had surely snapped inside Harry.
'She was always my fiercest friend. Never backed down from a challenge, that one. Even at my worst, she stuck around.' His voice grew quieter. 'There was a time when .. when R.. when Ron left us and considering how much in love Hermione was with him I'd thought I'd be losing both of my best friends the same night. But she stuck with me. She stuck with me through everything. The first few years that I spent here alone was the first time I truly realised how much it meant to me that I always had her to look out for me. To have someone to take the burden of my fights away from me. Every time she took my word as the gospel. I have never seen a woman more loyal than her. Never.
'I can't imagine fighting the rest of the way without her, Rab,' he whispered, his words breaking and crumbling at the end. 'I can't do it.'
Rab sighed heavily, patting Harry's knee gently. 'Don't speak of her as if she's dead, Harry. She's out there. We will bring her back.'
Harry sniffed, using his sleeves to wipe away the tears in his eyes, an action so childish that it almost brought a smile to Rab's face. However, it didn't take longer than a second for it to fall when he realised the man, already crossing thirty, had never truly had a childhood to speak of. How rarely had it been that he had been allowed to break down and fall apart a little?
'She's not gone,' Harry breathed out. 'She's never gone. She wouldn't dare leave me,' he laughed awkwardly. 'Question is, what do we do now?'
'We do better,' Rab mumbled somberly. 'Are you with me?'
The corners of his mouth quirked up into a sad smile, 'For Hermione?' He whispered, 'Always.'
Harry rubbed his hands together, getting back onto his feet. 'You should get some rest too, Rab. You need it. Go on.'
Rab's brows furrowed. 'No. You're asking me to leave so you can brood here all by yourself. I'm not leaving you alone.'
'I'm going to head to bed soon myself,' Harry replied. 'You don't have to worry about me tonight. Trust me. I just .. I need a moment alone and I'll be getting along too, I promise.'
'Harry,' he called out hesitantly. 'I miss her too. I miss seeing her face first thing in the morning. My entire life I have never known love as I have known it with her. She has been the reason for my existence for as long as I can remember and I promise this to you that I will never rest until she is safe again.'
'You are a braver man than I thought,' Harry reflected somberly.
Rab smiled sadly, a strange depth in his eyes. 'This is what this war forced me to be.' Nodding his head reluctantly and a deep breath blowing out his lips, he turned around. Sparing one last glance at Harry, he stepped out of the ivory painted room and towards the stairs.
Harry watched him go, his lips pursed into a tight line. He closed his eyes, walking towards the window and opening it to let the wind inside. As the cold lapped against his skin he felt his heart burn, Hermione's face imprinted into his mind.
He stood still at the window sill for minutes at an end, not a muscle in his body moving. His breaths had evened out but his eyes looked hollow, fixated on the unchanging English landscape outside as a storm began to brew.
It wasn't fair.
Life wasn't fair.
He couldn't remember the last time he had felt complete. Had it been as offhanded a moment as celebrating a Quidditch victory? Or had it been when he had kissed Ginny full on the lips, his fingers wrapped around the ring that bound her to him?
When was the last time he had known true happiness?
Whenever it had been, it seemed to have been eons ago. His loneliness had crept upon him like a fickle monstrosity from under a child's bed. Losing Hermione had unlocked inside him the feelings of destitution he had suffered from the years he had spent alone in this new time and yet they had passed by in hopes of seeing her again.
But now he had nothing. All his hope had been squashed. He had ripped apart Malfoy Manor. He had caused a havoc across the Lestranges' residence. He had plundered through all of Death Eater hideouts and yet he couldn't find her.
He knew she wasn't gone. Not yet. She couldn't be. He was sure he would know. The ritual would keep him bound to her but it was no balm. His heart ached at the thought of what she must be going through. He would have given anything, anything in the world, to switch places with her, to take away all of her pain.
He couldn't picture it. He couldn't even begin to imagine what life would be like without Hermione. What it would be like to be truly and so frighteningly alone.
His mind travelled to dark and murky thoughts he couldn't shake off. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the sting of the cold wing against his skin. He knew he was clinging too close to his pain and that it would bring him nothing but turmoil but he truly felt that he deserved it. He deserved it after having caused Hermione's life to shatter around herself. If there was someone to be blamed then it was him and him alone. He knew she would never abandon him and her love for him would end up killing her and yet he remained so utterly selfish. Why couldn't he just let her go? Why couldn't he free her of the shackles that bound her to him?
He hung his head as fresh tears pooled into his eyes, his lips trembling. It felt the hardest in moments when he was alone. After having found her again loneliness had started to feel so much more terrifying. After all what was he? Just a child soldier hurled into the past, thrown aside and morphed into a guileless man.
He felt the darkness swarm around him, wrapping him up in a lover's embrace. He felt himself drown into the pools of misery, each breath a reminder of every person he had led to their death, his very bones aching under the pressure, as flashes of distant memories passed through his mind, blurring into faint lines and visages.
There was the slight ruffling of the carpet in the vicinity. He choked on his own breath before righting himself, waking up from his slumber of gloom, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair.
He was cut out of his reverie as a cup of tea was levitated before him. He turned slowly to face the redhead smiling kindly at him through the doorway, her eyes a little sunken and yet the tenderness in them still alight
He wrapped his fingers around the cup, never once taking his eyes off her.
Nostalgia wrung through his body like fire as he saw Lily step closer to him. She came to stand beside him, their shoulders barely touching. He couldn't help but stare longingly, trying to remember what it had been like when he had been a baby and pressed close to her. Had she known, would she have wrapped him up in his arms, consoling him in ways he never had the opportunity to know, healing him from within like a mother ought to?
'You should be in bed, Harry,' she said carefully not yet completely certain of her relationship with the man.
Lily would have been an ignorant fool if she hadn't noticed the way he looked at her and the others. She had noticed the yearning but Merlin forbid she couldn't come up with a possibly explanation for it. It was strangely comfortable. She didn't mind it. In fact she, too, felt an inexplicable need to be close to him. She couldn't put it into words but she cared for this stranger even though she knew nothing about him.
'I could say the same to you,' Harry said, his voice levelled. 'You shouldn't be up at this hour.'
Lily shrugged her shoulders, 'I couldn't sleep without knowing you were okay.'
Harry felt his heart skip a beat, warmth spreading inside his body. 'I feel better now, thank you,' he said politely as he sipped the tea.
Lily nodded and sat down in an armchair by the fire, a solemn look overcoming her face. 'I wish I could say something that would help you.'
'It's enough for you to just be here,' Harry smiled sadly, not very surprised at how easily the words flowed with her. 'It's easier when I'm not alone.'
'I can tell,' Lily whispered.
The boys had each other. She had James. But looking at Harry and Rabastan felt like a betrayal. She knew they kept each other from falling apart but they were almost breaking at the seams. 'It's not fair.'
'It never is.' Harry looked up at the sky, clouds carrying rain tumbling over one another. 'I don't think Sirius is wrong.'
Lily raised a brow, a little taken aback but she didn't miss a beat. 'Harry, you can't possibly be impulsive about something like this. Could you really do it? Fighting someone to save yourself is different from purposely trying to hurt them for your own gain.'
'Things are not so black and white during a war,' Harry chuckled dryly. 'Trust me, I would know. There's no right and wrong. Besides I don't even have Dumbledore to fear. I no longer do things the way he tells me to.'
'You aren't from around here,' she said quietly, 'Why do you fight so hard?'
Harry sighed before moving to sit down on the floor, right before his mother. He pulled his knees up to his chest, looking at her with great care, mappiny each freckle and each blemish. 'At first I never knew why I pushed so hard,' he said, reflecting onto his first few years at Hogwarts. 'I was put into situations where there was no other choice. But as the years went by and I learned of how cruel Voldemort truly is, not fighting seemed like a crime in itself.
'But if I was being honest to myself, completely and truly honest, I'd tell you it was to keep the people I loved safe. Over the course of my life I've had many people sacrifice their lives for me. Especially my parents,' he looked away then, as his voice turned vulnerable and weak. He had never before voiced it but he really wanted to let her know. He wanted his mother to know. 'A part of me wanted to live up to the legacy they left behind. I wanted to make them proud. I wanted to keep their memory alive.'
A frown marred Lily's features as she took Harry's hand in hers, gently squeezing it. 'There will come rest for you, Harry. I know it. And I bet your parents would be proud. Any sane person would.'
His eyes filled up. 'You really think so?'
She smiled, her gaze soft and warm. 'I do.'
Harry sucked in a breath, reminding himself of where he was. He couldn't let himself get swayed by his emotions. She'd call him a lunatic if he confided in her. Who would even believe him?
Nobody.
His eyes seemed distant as he whispered into the quiet. 'I just want it to stop. I want it to stop. Just for a moment so I can catch my breath. Why won't it just stop?'
Lily was surprised at the helplessness and the vulnerability in his eyes. She felt her heart break for him, an inexplicable need to wrap him up in her arms surfacing.
'It's not a kind world and when people leave they don't always come back.' His gaze pierced at her. 'That's what I'm afraid of.'
'Hermione is incredibly resilient,' Lily murmured. 'If anybody can survive it then it's her. She's undoubtedly the strongest person I know. I still have hope, Harry.'
He nodded along to her words, his eyes drooping, the softness of his mother's voices lulling him into the realm of sleep. 'She's no less than a sister to me,' he whispered absently. 'She's the only family I've got left.'
'I know,' she murmured, her hand squeezing his again. 'But you have us now too.'
Harry looked at her, truly looked at her. His mother had truly been as kind as people had said. It had all started with her. This brave woman that he loved so much
His heart sank as he saw her rise on her feet, reaching out her hand for him to take.
'Come,' she said, 'Or I'm afraid you'll spend the night sitting here by yourself.'
Harry propped himself up, his fingers entwining with hers when a sudden feeling of immense pain raked through his entire body, his back feeling like it was on fire and the very blood coursing through his veins firing up. He let out a scream of horror as he sunk on his knees, the ground shaking beneath him.
Lily let out a yell as she saw the scene unfurl. 'James! JAMES!' She cried out helplessly, her wand already whipped out. She looked around herself, wondering what was happening. 'HELP! JAMES!'
There were loud noises as James and Sirius rushed into the room, their senses heightened and their hearts roaring.
'What is it? Lily? What happened?' James cried out, his eyes seeking out the form of Harry, hunched over and coughing.
'I .. I don't know.. we were talking and the next thing I know he was screaming.. I, I can't see any organic cause for it.. he's not bleeding and I don't..'
'I don't sense any tampering with the wards,' Sirius asserted, his hand cupping Harry's face, checking for any signs of possession. 'We're alone on the property.'
Remus and Peter stood at the door, taking in the entirety of the strange scene, cringing as an ear splitting scream filled with pain split through the air.
Harry doubled over. He had an inkling of an idea of what was going on. He hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.
'What's going on?!' Rab roared, running into the middle of the room and grabbing Harry by the shoulders.
Harry felt his pulse quicken as his lungs constricted. A muddy haze wrapped around his head, his vision blurring. There was a ringing deep inside his ears and a pulsating wave of pain threading through his body. The chord binding him to Hermione was being pulled taut, at its extremes, threatening to break.
'The.. the Horcrux.. the ring we hunted,' he mumbled. 'It's the same.. I can tell.. it's the same.. she's hurt..'
'Horcrux?' Sirius cried out, horrified and his face ashen. 'It can't be ..'
Peter's eyes widened in alarm. 'What do you mean? Harry, what is it?'
Remus was startled into action as he saw the blood drain on Rab's face.
'What's a Horcrux? Will somebody please explain?' James cried out.
'Pete, get some water,' Remus barked out the order, taking in the reins. 'Quick.' He turned to face Lily. 'We can figure that out later. Lily, you're a healer trainee. Get a hold of yourself and get on with your job.' He gently brushed at her shoulder, 'Can you do that for me?'
Lily looked distraught. Nodding to herself determinedly she levitated Harry onto the sofa, working her fingers through to remove his cloak.
Rab seemed to regain his composure as Harry sipped hurriedly at the water Peter held up to his mouth.
'Harry.. ,' he whispered.
'Hermione.. we need to get to her.. now,' Harry rushed onto his feet, a spell of dizziness threatening to overcome him.
James pushed him back gently, 'You're in no state to go take on Death Eaters, mate.. besides how could you possibly know?'
Lily mumbled to herself as she worked, 'It could just be his stress acting up that's making him all paranoid. I can't .. I can really tell.. his body's flaming!'
Sirius pushed James aside, looking deep into Harry's eyes who was now struggling to run free. 'What is it that you know?'
There was the a tapping against the window. Remus frowned, seeing nobody had noticed, and he went to open it to let in a tawny looking owl who dropped a letter onto the floor.
Rab's eyes flashed as he picked it up, immediately recognising it for what it was. 'Something is up,' his voice barely audible now, his feet stumbling over his steps. 'Oh, dear Merlin,' he cried out as his eyes swept over the words. He looked up fearfully at Harry. 'He's dead.. Rodolphus is dead .. something is going on.. what do we do..'
Clutching onto his heart, Harry said, 'We need to get to her now.' He broke free of Lily's restraining arms only to be caught by Remus.
'Stop for a moment and tell us exactly what's up!'
'THERE'S NO TIME!' Harry yelled forcefully through thinned lips. 'We need to get to Hermione now or we're going to lose her forever!'
It was all it took for everyone to jump into a state of frenzy, an endless stream of questions incessantly at their lips.
'Where are we headed?'
'Are you sure it isn't some kind of trap?'
'I don't understand. It doesn't make sense. Even if she's in danger how could you possibly know?'
'IT WILL BE TOO LATE!'
'We can't just rush in. What if we are outnumbered? We need a plan!'
'Shut up, the lot of you. If he thinks something's up then we need to trust him and get a move on!'
'Stop,' Rab mumbled, his eyes focused onto his fingers, a strange sensation flooding through him, his legs buckling under his weight. 'Stop,' he said again but nobody seemed to be listening to him.
'I don't know where .. I just know we have to get along now or it's going to be over soon!'
'Okay. Okay. Diagon alley? Hogsmeade? The ministry? Where do we begin?'
'We need to split up!'
'Stop, please,' Rab said feebly, a pressure building up against his spine as the world spun around him.
'No, that's too dangerous. Somebody needs to let Dumbledore know.'
'Yes, yes, he'll know what to do, now out of my way!'
'STOP IT, I SAID!' Rab yelled catching everyone by surprise, the ring glistening on his finger entrapping their attention.
'What is that?' Peter called out faintly.
The green around Rab's ring grew brighter, the orb of magic enveloping it soundly and thoroughly, a shimmering glow surrounding it. A gust of wind blew in through the wind as the orb grew into a blinding flash of light and with a sound of something snapping in two the gist of wind grew alarmingly quick making everyone shield their eyes and shy away from it.
There was a resounding thud as the orb of magic crashed and fell apart and the wind dropped leaving behind in the middle of the room two bodies entwined so intricately that their limbs couldn't be distinguished.
Lily gasped as her hands flew to her mouth. Her eyes watered instantly as her gaze flitted across the two women lying haplessly onto the floor. She tore her gaze away from Hermione to see Narcissa's equally unconscious form, her hand gripping at her pregnant belly.
The baby!
Rab rushed to Hermione's side, gathering her head in his lap and murmuring in her ears.
It didn't take longer than a moment for them to spring into action.
'Hermione!' Someone yelled; Harry couldn't place a name to the voice, his entire body shutting down, his worst fears realised.
Time stood still for him.
He was frozen.
His eyes tore up as he looked at what had become of the woman he loved so dearly. A strangled choke rose up his throat as he witnessed her torn clothes and her flaming back, the skin infected and inflamed, her body a frail little thing with only bones and skin. Her sunken eyes and her pale skin, her hair matted to her forehead covered with blood and grime, all of it that was left of her could have so easily be mistaken for a corpse.
His own pain lay forgotten, his senses shut down to the surrounding hubub of the Marauders bending down and separating the two women and carrying them onto conjured cots. The ringing in his ears grew louder as he felt himself dissociate from his body, still rooted to the spot. He could see nothing other than Hermione, her mangled body appearing to him lifeless. Time slipped away as he stood frozen with a terrible and a dreadful kind of fear rising up his spine, everything melting away as he saw a pair of hands, too old and widened to have belonged to Lily, cascading along her limbs, working magic over her incessantly and with precision
Harry couldn't begin to imagine if he had ever before seen somebody tortured into a sight as terrifying as the one Hermione made. She barely looked human, her form slumped and downtrodden. It was crippling to see her like this. There were cuts and bruises all along her body, dried blood and at places, fresh, pooling in at every inch across it. There was not a part of her that remained untouched. None. They had toyed with her body. They had crushed her. They had hurt every bit of her.
The gash across her stomach was begging to be looked at, the colour scarlet clouding it all over. What anguish she had lived through. Anger surged through him at seeing it, a hatred so potent it threatened to pull him asunder. There was a raging fire behind his eyes.
He felt his feet move of their own accord, dripping with lead they felt so heavy. He found himself clinging to Hermione's hand, his knees giving away as he rested his head against her thigh. He felt someone tug at him. He felt someone pull against him.
Someone was shouting. There were tears and a plethora of emotions abuzz in the room. The commotion was ceaseless and yet harry registered none of it. He could feel soembody's fingers grip him tightly, the pressure on his skin from the foreign touch firing up. But he dared not move.
His eyes remained solely on her face, the curve of her lips looking so strange. There was blood caked in even there. His eyes trailed up a path across her face, wincing as he saw the marks of someone's hand around her neck, so startlingly red against her translucent skin. He could almost feel her breathing, too shallow to be deemed normal.
There was more shouting and more screaming but Harry paid it no mind. No force would move him tonight. He would stand vigil. He would never, never in his life, leave her side again. He would never let her out of his sight and if someone even as much as came close to separating her from him, he would skin them alive.
He had no concept of time. It could have been hours that he had been sitting motionless by her side, his hand strained and yet gripped tight around her feeble fingers, the ends of which were scraped and scratched, her touch so terrifyingly cold.
She just lay there, completely unresponsive and yet the sign of a faint heartbeat still present. It was abject torture to him, his mind playing every memory he had of her, ranging from those of his previous life to those that he had shared with her in a strange timeline. There was the flash of every heartache he had suffered through with her, every smile he had chanced upon her face.
Nobody could take her from him. Nobody. He wouldn't let them.
Somebody had clothed and bandaged her up, sealing away every cut. He was also vaguely aware of people milling around him but he dared not look away lest she leave him. He couldn't let that happen.
He had failed her, let her down.
'You remember the first time we met, Hermione?' He mumbled quietly, indifferent to the eavesdropping ears around him, beyond all care in the world. 'We were only just eleven, so young and so carefree. Who knew what lay ahead of us. Maybe if I had known I would never have often so close to you or Ron or Ginny or anybody else. I would never have dared to. I wish someone had told me. You have been so brave.. so brave. You shouldn't have had to be. You were the truest of all Gyrffindors, Mione, you know that, don't you? I couldn't bear to see all that fire inside you to go out. So come back to me, alright?'
He shut his eyes briefly as tears rolled down his cheeks. His voice remained level and calm, despite the turmoil in his heart. He wouldn't let her see the anguish he felt for it was nothing when compared to hers.
'You looked radiant, by the way.. so full of life. I can't believe how long it's been. We barely even got along in those first few days. I remember Ron and how livid he had been.. they were good times, Hermione, weren't they? I wish I could spend hours talking to you about every memory we have made. Because despite all the horror.. despite all that we've lost, we also had a pretty good run for while it lasted, didn't we? You're going to have to come back to me for me to do that, you hear me? You're going to have to come to me so we can be together again. For our family's sake. They ought to be remembered. We've hardly done any remembering. They ought to be remembered, Hermione.
'You're going to have to fight and come back to me. I need you to come back to me.'
He trailed a gentle finger against her brow, now clean and pristine, cleared away of all the dirt. She was heavily bandaged, her body turned around so that her back lay bare and undisturbed. Scars lined up all along her skin, dotting her vody and turning it into a battlefield in itself.
This was not the girl he remembered from the first time he had set his eyes on her. This was not the girl she should have had to turn into.
Oh, Hermione.. what have I done to you?
AN: To the guest who thinks they are everyone's least favourite person. Worry not. Your words are much appreciated and humbling :)
Another long wait. I apologise but I underestimated writer's block. I will try my best to post more often .. truly.
So grateful to see the response I've gotten on this story. I'd like to thank each one of you again from the bottom of my heart.
Hearing from you guys makes my day!