DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.
The silky curtain of the pink skies wrapped the world in its depths, inseparable and indecipherable from the grey seas treading across the sand and under the thundering clouds, the insurmountable travesties of her life falling into an abysmal pool of thoughts and feelings inside Hermione's mind.
Her eyes sought out Harry's gaunt frame in the distance, his rolled up trousers already wetting as the waves pooled around him angrily, his eyes distant and staring ahead so motionlessly he might as well have been paralysed.
Salty air whipped against her cheeks, biting and harsh as her gaze fell onto her hands, her dainty fingers wrapped with bandages despite her nails that had been made to regrow. Her body had become a battleground of wounds that crisscrossed across the entirety of her skin leaving behind not a bare hint of clear, smooth pink. There were gashes and cuts on every part of her. Hermione had never been one to care for her looks but this morning, almost a week after she had woken up from her comatose state, as she had removed the many glamours she had cast upon herself the sight that met her eyes wasn't anything short of something that might have resembled a broken marionette. A hint of tears had filled her eyes as she surveyed herself, her back a myriad of inflamed lines that crawled across the entire length of it.
Her body still hurtThe soreness barely ever left her alone.
She pitied herself. It wasn't an emotion she was used to but Voldemort had broken her to an extent that all she felt for herself was pity and nothing else. Her mind, Hermione Granger's greatest asset, had been violated in the most gruesome ways, her hold on it unbelievaby tight. Even her rational self found it difficult at times to keep herself on bay, her body perpetually crushed under the weight of her torture that still lay as a fresh cut on her being.
Sighing as the waves crashed along the beach, she curled her toes feeling the cold seep into her skin, feeling on her back the intense stares of the occupants of the safehouse. They were bound to. It wasn't a pleasant argument that had followed when Harry had declared that he would be helping her outside. They had protested it, saying she needed to regain her strength and that she was bound to catch a cold or worse. But she had needed a release. She had craved it. She had hoped that perhaps the gentle sea would bring peace to the fury within.
Hermione resisted the urge to turn around and look at them. She didn't want to. Her brother and the Marauders knew nothing. They knew nothing of what she had been through. They never would and she was grateful that they didn't but a small, selfish part of her resented the world for having pushed her into becoming the martyr. It wasn't her job. It wasn't Harry's. Why? Why has it always been them? How long until they too would perish?
Her mind willed her to forget, to look past it but the pity she saw in their eyes wasn't something she wanted. No. Hermione pitied herself enough. She didn't want it from others too. Their eyes would follow her every move, every stumbling step, every ragged breath she drew in fearing she would fall or break, waiting with abated breath to rush to her rescue.
She didn't want it.
She wanted nothing of it.
Her mind had turned into an impenetrable fortress which only Harry and only him alone could even begin to traipse through. She had chosen to remain quiet, allowing only tight smiles and small gestures of gratefulness to be kept reserved for the people in the house.
It hurt. It hurt far more than she had expected it to but she wasn't ready yet. She didn't know how to integrate herself into the lives of the Marauders. It was true that she had forgiven them a long time ago but letting them in was something she didn't know how to.
She hadn't even found the courage to seek out Rab when he had every right to know of their brother's sacrifice in the face of true horror. She balked at the idea of confiding in anyone outside of Harry. She simply wasn't ready for it despite the wounded looks she would receive from her beloved brother.
The only occasion she had talked to them was the day after she had woken up. Dumbledore had flooed into the cottage right away and she had had to give them a clear account of the things that had happened, an experience she hadn't been incredibly fond of but had gotten through with Harry's help.
She looked up and out toward the sea, the cold of the winter still persisting in the wind that lapped around her simple robes. It was a foolish idea, a foolish venture but Hermione welcomed the chill. She craved it. Anything to take her mind off of the soreness in her body and the confinement she had been thrust into.
Her misery threatened to engulf her into an endless darkness when she felt a cold, clammy hand take hold of hers. She looked up, smiling softly as Harry's green eyes bored into hers.
He bent at his waist, lightly settling himself into place beside her, letting her rest her heavy head onto his shoulder, wrapping an arm around her and holding her steady.
She clutched onto his robes as if her life depended on it, her hair whipping around her in the unforgiving wind.
'Thank you for bringing me out here,' she mumbled quietly into his chest.
'It's alright,' he said, his voice barely audible. 'I know what it's like in there. It's suffocating. I can barely breathe when inside. You don't have to hide anything from me, Mione. I know how you feel.'
Hermione nodded, a rueful chuckle on her lips. 'It's funny, isn't it?' She looked up at him. 'Your family is completely in your reach for the first time in your life but you ca-'
Harry's eyes cried of pain as he placed his finger against her mouth lightly, 'Don't say it, Hermione. It hurts as it is.'
'I know,' she whispered. 'I'm sorry.'
'I never knew my parents,' his voice sounded hollow, his words a letter of cadence. 'I had never seen them or been able to talk to them. Now I can. I can touch them, hold them but my parents are strangers to me. They have no son. They look at me and wonder who I am, what relation I have to you. They don't know me and if they did I wonder if they'd accept me. It always boils down to one thing, doesn't it? The Potter family will always be incomplete.'
Tears slipped past her eyes for her best friend, her grief surging at the emptiness in his voice. She had nothing to say to him. Nothing she could do take away his pain.
Harry turned towards her, tracing his fingers along her face and wiping away the stray tears. 'Don't feel bad for me, Hermione. I've made peace with my fate.'
'You shouldn't have to!' She cried out.
He chuckled, shaking his head tiredly. 'I know but someone has to sign away their life and set out on this hint. This time round, in this war, it's got to be me.' He took a deep breath then, his shoulders slumping. 'But then I'm not alone, am I? I ended up dragging you down this hole with me. I ruined everything for you and Ron.'
Hermione gasped. 'Harry..,' she whispered, pained. 'Don't you dare! Don't you dare put all the blame on yourself. You ruined nothing. You did nothing. It was my choice and given the chance I'd make the same decisions over and over again. It's you and I until the end of this war, Harry so let's wind back the clock and I'll show you! I'll find you, I'll seek you out in the Hogwarts Express and I'll make you fight that troll and I'll be your friend! I'll be your friend or I'll be nothing at all.'
He looked away from her, his head bowed in shame.
'Do you hear me?' She pressed. 'I want nothing other than to be by your side, Harry. Nothing in this life or the next could compare to being with you. You're my best friend. You're my family and I will not let you do this alone.'
Harry tried pushing down a sob, forcefully rubbing against his eyes. 'I'm sorry, Mione,' he heaved. 'You could have been happy, you and Ron.' All the heartbreak and fear he'd been supressing suddenly sprang forth as he became hyperaware of every little thing, every tiny insignificant moment – the hitch in Hermione's breath, the slight shiver in her limbs, the weak, steady beating of her heart. 'I'm so, so sorry..'
Feeling her body protest in pain, Hermione pushed his arm away, wrapping him in her embrace and holding him tightly to herself. 'Ron was proud of you as am I. Nobody could have borne the weight of the world as you have, Harry and I'm so, so proud to call you my friend. And let's face it. Let's face the truth. Our world wasn't a place where happy endings existed. And if I hadn't met you.. if you and I had been just housemates I would never have learned to fight. I was always about books and grades, Harry. But you? You taught me to fight. You gave me the chance to fight for what's right. You let me be your partner. You taught me I had to learn to defend myself, that I had to own up and be my own hero. You let me save myself from countless death traps. If it hadn't been for you I'd have been just another number, just another statistic. I'd have been one of the many muggle borns who were brutally murdered. But I wasn't. I wasn't one of them because being Harry Potter's best friend had taught me to be a soldier. And that saved my life time after time.
'I cherish my days with Ron,' she said, the memory of the redhead rearing its way in, a pang of loss bridling through her chest at the mention of her first love. 'I really do. I may be in terrible pain, I may have been through the worst of torment but I've said it before and I'll say it however many times you need me to. We're in this together. Together until our very last breaths.'
Harry pulled her closer, his palms resting across her back, mindful of her scars. His words barely made it out as his body was wracked with another wave of inescapable tears. 'I .. I couldn't have done it without you, Hermione.'
'We need each other, Harry. Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong.'
A strangely comforting silence ensued as the waves lulled the two into finding solace within each other, their soft caresses founding in them a renewed fervour for the battles yet to be fought.
'I love you,' he says, his voice hardly making it over the thunderous waves but she heard him nonetheless.
'I know,' she smiled. 'And I love you.' She pulled away from him but only just slightly, watching as the wind whipped his hair into his face.
It was oddly beautiful.
Harry breathed in large gulps of air, mustering up the courage to make one last admittance. 'All this devotion .. I don't know what to do with it, Hermione. I don't know what to do when people look up to me. I don't have a plan. I'm just .. I just do things impetuously and they almost always backfire.'
'Well, then we wing it,' Hermione shrugged with a lightheartedness she hadn't known to posses in what might have been years.
'We wing it?' Harry uttered, a grin beginning to form on his face. 'Did I hear that right? Hermione Granger, the advocate of all things orderly, just told me to wing it.' He pulled away completely from her, taking a good look at her and breaking into a soft bout of laughter.
Hermione joined in without a hint of reluctance, her giggles adding into the mix. 'I mean that's all we've been doing since the beginning. We make a plan and it fails magnanimously so we improvise and then we wing it.'
Harry leaned back, his fingers threading through the sand, staring straight ahead into the vastness of the sea. He cocked his head to her side as he heard her call out his name gently, sobered up and serious once again.
'Whatever burdens you have about your leadership or anything else, don't keep them to yourself, Harry. You did the same thing when we were hunting the horcruxes. And it only ever made you miserable.'
Harry's brows dug into a frown. 'You knew all this time?'
Hermione's lips tugged into a forlorn smile as she patted his head fondly, weaving her fingers through his unruly hair. 'When will you learn, Harry? I always know when it comes to you and Ron.'
Harry's eyes filled up with unshed tears once again at the mention of his best friend, his heart crying at the memory of him.
'It's okay,' she whispered, seeing through her mistake. 'Once all this is over,' she followed him and looked out beyond into the nothingness, 'we will put them to rest. We will give them a farewell they deserve. All of them.'
He scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to ignore the way his heart was thumping erratically against his ribcage.
Hermione leaned into his side, locking her arm into the crook of his elbow. 'Harry?' She called out timidly.
'Yeah?'
'We're going to have to think of something to do after the war is through.'
Harry didn't respond. He merely closed his eyes, pushing himself farther back and letting the breeze whip the cold across his face.
'Hermione?'
'Mhm?' She mumbled.
'I've never thought of my life past the war.'
'I know.' She bit down a whimper. 'Neither have I.'
'That's no way to live.'
'When did our lives get this way?'
'As far as I can remember,' he said, 'they'd always been this way. Most days I can't even remember the time when it had been easier.'
'It was an awfully long time ago,' she commented wryly.
'Hermione, we have to tell them,' he stated firmly. 'We need a plan. How will we draw him out? Only Dumbledore could do something like that. We need their help. We need to tell them.'
'I agree that we do. It's time that they knew. We can't .. we can't finish this by ourselves.'
'I wonder,' Harry struggled with his words, 'I wonder if they'll want me.'
Hermione frowned, choosing to stay silent. She knew he was pining for his family. She also knew that they'd accept him in no matter of time. They had the biggest hearts out of all the people she had ever known but Harry would never believe it until they did.
'I don't want to keep living this way anymore, Mione. When does peace come for us?'
'Not to sound morbid but if you want me to be honest I don't think anything will ever truly bring us peace. We've seen too much for that to happen.' She paused. 'Perhaps in death,' she chuckled ruefully. She sighed heavily before adding, 'All this suffering .. it was inevitable for you, Harry. You have a big heart. You have a conscience. You may have been the Chosen One but you could have easily walked away and went into hiding. But you didn't. Like I told you all those years ago .. you're a great wizard, Harry.'
An unadulterated rage split through his features. 'It's not fair how there are people who can spend years being restless, waiting for something to happen .. for their big shot opportunity. I want that. I want to be bored. I want the mundane. Is that too much to ask? How do we redeem ourselves, Mione? How do we wipe away all this blood off of us?
'I want nothing other than to fall asleep and never wake up,' he looked at her intensely, his gaze piercing at her soul. 'I don't see myself outliving all this grief. I have all these images burned into my brain .. images of the lives we could have lived and it's absolutely crushing.'
She tugged at the hem of her sleeve, scrunching it between her fingers, and whispered, ' I- I have no comfort to offer you, Harry .. not when I wish for the same.' A tear slipped across her cheek. 'I wish the sea would open up and swallow me whole. Is that too cowardly?'
Harry looked at her sadly, understanding filling his eyes. He dropped his head to rest on hers. 'One day you're worried about the Triwizard Tournament and then life decides to sneak up on you.'
Hermione nodded sadly, pulling herself even closer to him, the crushing loneliness abated only by his warmth.
She snuck a furtive glance at him. Everybody needs someone, she thought silently to herself. Someone to pour themselves into. It was a dark and gloomy world. Her life had no meaning to it anymore. But his presence alone brought her tranquility and calm that she starved for but couldn't find anywhere else.
'I don't feel like facing another day anymore, Mione. There's a tiredness settled in my very bones.' His voice turned an octave higher as he begged, looking to her for relief, 'Please just make it go away.'
The torment in his eyes reminded her of the day Dobby had died, bringing forth a gut wrenching sob. 'Being strong is the only option we have, Harry,' she whispered against his shoulder. 'One day at a time, yeah? Just one day at a time.'
Harry pursed his lips together, breathing slowly through his nose.
'I feel useless all the time these days. At least you're still doing something for the cause. You keep going out to fight .. all of you.'
'You're recuperating. Nobody blames you.'
She shook her head vehemently. 'I've rested long enough now. I need to see Narcissa, Harry. I have to make sure she's alright. Maybe she can even clue us about the diary. It's the last horcrux. We have to get on with it already. I know you've told me that she hasn't talked to anyone and that she prefers to stay quiet but I'm sure I can break through to her.'
Harry nodded to her. 'Alright. We'll go see her soon after we've told everyone about .. everything.' He sighed. 'Come on, let's pull ourselves together and get through this.'
Hermione braced herself as he helped pull her up on her feet, supporting her weight and letting her balance herself however she had only just wobbled along a few steps before collapsing against him, letting out a cry of frustration.
Harry reached out his hands towards her, hovering just within reach.
'I .. I just need a moment,' she said, pressing her palm against her chest and allowing herself a moment to breathe. Closing her eyes, she steeled herself and hoisted herself upright.
She took a step and then another, nodding to herself as she found her balance again, a smile stretching across her face at the progress.
Harry steadied her as they walked hand in hand, their steps slow and measured. Her grip onto him tightened as her eyes found the lonesome cottage only a few hundred yards away.
'How do we do it everyday?' She whispered, not really looking for an answer.
Harry fixed her with a comforting gaze, his words level. 'We want to see them happy, don't we?'
Her hands curled around the maroon sweater, a bare hint of his scent still clinging onto it. She covered her face with her hand, hoping it would keep the tears from falling. She didn't want to fall apart not when such a monumental task lay ahead of her. The evening was bound to be long and held a promise of reliving the best and the most painful of her memories and Harry's.
She had pulled out a lot many things she no longer remembered packing in. How would she? It had been more than a decade. It had been twelve years that she'd spent in this timeline alone. She sighed, reflecting on how far she had come.
'It isn't fair,' she whispered into the silence of the bedroom. Ron Weasley had had a plan. He had wanted to help his best friend defeat the Dark Lord. He had wanted to be married to his bookworm girlfriend by the age of twenty three. He had wanted two children, a girl and a boy. He had wanted to name them Rose and Hugo. He had wanted to build a tiny house for his family. He had wanted to create a nook of a library inside for his wife. He had wanted to show her and the world how much he loved her.
Hermione sniffled, 'He proved it alright in the end.'
He proved it in the breath that he jumped before her, pushing her aside to bear the brunt of the Killing Curse, taking away with him any remnants of Hermione's happiness.
She heard the faucet turn off as Harry's footsteps thudded against the wooden floorboard. She wiped away the tears, taking one last whiff of the sweater before pulling it over her head and hugging it close by wrapping her arms across her chest.
Harry was clad in a white towel wrapped tightly around his waist, his hair dripping water into the carpet. He frowned as his gaze fell over Hermione's downtrodden frame, her wild mane of curls laying flat and deadened around her equally vacant face. He was startled. Not by the emptiness in her eyes but by the clothes she wore.
He recognised her faded dark jeans from the Horcrux hunt and the maroon sweater that bore the letter R. She looked exactly like the brightest witch of her age then, the famous Hermione Granger, the advocate of all things equality.
A lump formed in his throat as he looked at the mess of the clothes on the bed linens, a haphazard compilation of things from a past he fervently wished to forget.
There was a fire burning beneath his skin as he surveyed the largest of the shirts, idly wondering how much could still be a painful reminder of his freckled best friend. There was a sudden twitch in his face that he couldn't stop. He wished for the memories to stop coming at him the way they did in waves. Memories never did him any good.
He looked helplessly around him, wondering what he could say to pull Hermione out of her thoughts. Mustering up a sense of joviality he dared not feel he said, 'You look ruddy brilliant, Mione.'
She shrugged her shoulders. 'I just figured it was time to let go of Hermione Lestrange.'
Harry smiled at her, 'You think it's time to let go of Oakswood too?'
She let out a soft chuckle, a welcome gleam in her bloodshot eyes. 'I know it's time the people downstairs knew there's another reckless Potter in the world.'
He nodded to himself, his fingers scrunching up the fabric of a grey t-shirt that lay facedown on the bed. He pulled it over his head as Hermione made herself scarce, giving him the needed privacy.
Buttoning up his jeans he exclaimed, 'Alright, then, let's do this, Mione!'
The enthusiasm he had feigned did nothing to calm Hermione's nerves but she smiled gratefully at him nonetheless, tying her unruly hair into a ponytail reminiscent of the teenager she had been in her original lifetime.
Quickly clearing up the mess and banishing everything back into her beaded bag, Hermione followed Harry as he made his way downstairs where everyone had already assembled as they had requested. There was a strange heaviness in their feet as they padded across the lobby and right in front of the door that led to the living room.
They stood shoulder to shoulder, gleaning bits and pieces of the conversation that flowed inside.
'I couldn't tell you,' they heard Rab's soft timbre of a voice say. 'You can't expect me to be privy to everything that goes inside their heads, Sirius.'
Harry looked tersely at Hermione then, seeking solace and courage from her. 'It's now or never.'
Her eyes softened as she felt him bend down to press a kiss to her forehead, his thumb stroking the back of her knuckles as he squeezed her hand one last time before pushing the door open and disappearing inside.
Hermione took a deep breath, doing everything she could to take her mind off of her frayed nerves. It will be okay, she told herself. She had spent the better part of a decade with the people inside. She loved them as they loved her. It was her brother and some of the kindest friends she'd made in her life. It will be okay.
She took a measured step inside, her gaze focused on her worn out shoes.
There was a collective gasp as everyone took in the appearance of the girl they had come to know as a regal, pureblood Lady now dressed in what could only be described as rags compared to the rich silk and linen thet were used to seeing her in. Trust the Marauders on their dramatics, she thought to herself rather wryly.
Gleaning courage from Harry, who stood right in front of her, she raised her head high. It was time to own herself. She squared her shoulders as she came to stand beside him, her eyes meeting those of the people around her.
Remus stood nursing a cup of tea in tje farthest corner, almost wishing to become one with the wall, it seemed. Peter was right beside him, twirling his wand absently. James and Lily were sat together on the sofa, their fingers intertwined. Sirius leaned his elbows against the backrest as Rab paced along the windowside, his expression pensive.
And farthest from them all was Professor Dumbledore, perched onto the edge of a table, his face serene and devoid of any worries.
There was a look of unadulterated surprise on the faces of the Marauders and a reluctant acceptance on Rab's. Hermione felt a stab of pain wondering if he thought he would be losing his sister, the persona that he knew her by, that night. She flinched as she thought about his reaction to finding out she was a Muggle born. He might not be a bigoted pureblood but Hermione had so thoroughly sullied his family that surely he'd feel repulsed.
She rid herself of such negativity. She had to be stronger than this for she knew Harry was fighting a battle entirely of his own as he stared deep into his father's eyes, both raven haired men looking strikingly more similar than most days when Harry had so acutely hidden himself under the name of a Lord. The men wore similar hairstyles, both unruly and refusing to stay flat. Their glasses, though differently framed, highlighted the only difference they bore.
His gaze shifted to that of his mother, who was positively gawking at him, terrified of what this could mean, an unsettled air around the couple.
Sirius was shifting nervously on his feet, his eyes going back and forth between the odd pair, quite unsure of what to think. His uncertainty was shared by an equally confused Peter.
Only Remus, it seemed, was waiting patiently for them to give an explanation from the exception of Dumbledore, of course, who merely sat smiling on the, his eyes twinkling with mirth and barely concealed secrets.
Harry didn't know how he had found his voice but he did. 'Professor Dumbledore,' he nodded in greeting. 'I believe you have the Pensieve on your person.'
'Exactly as you requested, Mr .. Potter, I assume?' Dumbledore said kindly, producing from within his robes a tiny orb of glowing liquid.
It didn't surprise either of the pair. They knew Dumbledore had had his doubts but to say that their company was anything short of shocked would be a butchering of the truth.
Tapping his wand against it, Dumbledore levitated it to the middle of the room. Waving his wand around he cast a simple charm that split the Pensieve into tiny fragments which then enlarged to form life-like copied versions of the original, each copy floating and coming to rest in front of every man and woman in the room.
A hubub of conversation began which was soon quenched by Harry's presence.
'I know you have questions and rightly so,' he stated, his voice never betraying the terror he felt. 'It is time you had them answered. Secrets aren't going to help anybody anymore.'
Hermione turned to the old and wisened Professor. Looking at Harry for reassurance, she walked closer to him. 'I'm certain you have theories, Professor.'
Dumbledore sighed heavily, his hands held behind his back. Moving around the room so that he stood right in front of Harry and Hermione, he said, 'I most certainly do. The first thibg I'm quite certain of is that I believe the two of you have managed to hoodwink the very fabric of our reality by travelling, at the very least, twenty years into the past.'
There was a throaty chuckle of disbelief from James. 'Come on, Professor. That's going too far!'
Remus held up a hand to silence him, his eyes wide and unbelieving but on the precipice of a breakthrough finding.
Sirius looked over at Hermione, his face morphed into one of incredule. He walked towards her, hesitating to take her hand in his as he asked, 'Is that true, Mi?'
'It is,' she whispered quietly, her gaze shying away from him.
'But.. but that's not possible!' Sirius tried to reason. 'A time turner can't take the wielder that far back.' He turned to look at Rab. 'Do you believe this? You watched her grow up!'
Rab shrugged his shoulders tiredly, 'I know it's difficult to understand. I don't have the full story myself but I've known for a while and I trust them to tell us the truth.'
Lily's brows were scrunched deep in thought. 'But why?' Her voice seemed incredibly small. 'What could have happened that'd make you do that? Leave your entire lives and go back into the past?'
'What indeed?' Harry chuckled darkly.
Hermione placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, as if to urge him on.
'Voldemort isn't going to die anytime soon,' he said simply, or inadept at finding the right words.
'You can't.. you can't possibly mean that,' Peter shook his head in disbelief, falling down into a chair, his hands pressed against his forehead. 'Twenty years..,' he whispered faintly.
'Hold on,' James cried out. 'You actually believe this? Professor! If a time turner could do that people would be doing it left and right. It goes against the very laws of Magic! It's the oldest and the most protected principle of the Wizarding World. You simply cannot change the past.'
'We didn't use a time turner,' Hermione replied calmly. 'You're correct. I've used a time turner during school and it has its limits. It could never make a journey across a year let alone three decades.'
'Three decades?' Lily quipped. 'Three?'
'Yes, Lily. Three decades. But we didn't use a conventional means for it. We used some terribly Dark Magic.'
'But -,' Lily started to protest.
'It's how you put it to use is what matters,' Rab cut in. 'Dark Magic isn't always intended to hurt.'
Hermione nodded to him gratefully before turning to Sirius, her reservations with him suddenly forgotten. 'What do you know about blood rites?'
Sirius was startled to see her personally address him. He took a gulp of air before answering, 'I - I don't have an extensive knowledge on it, of course, but the Blacks have been known to dapple into several blood rites quite heavily even going to the extent of personally curating some. I know my aunt Ella-'
'Elladora Black pioneered some extremely thorough rituals, yes,' Hermione stated. 'Her journal. What can you tell me about it?'
'It was heavily guarded, as I'm told,' he frowned. 'It holds family secrets that shan't ever be revealed to anybody outside of the Blacks. Not even Bella would dare take it to Voldemort.'
'That's true but when you, the future version of you, I mean,' she corrected herself, 'inherited the family estate the library .. well everything Black basically came to a standstill for several reasons. Her journal was in the Black Library. I found it one day and reading it, as abbhorent it was, gave us a solution, albeit risky and extremely dangerous, that could very well have turned the tables around for the war.'
'You knew me in the future..?' Sirius asked, his face tumultuous. 'What .. what was I - to you?'
Remus nudged him in the back saving Hermione from further discomfort.
'It was a last resort really,' she went on to explain. 'You need to be a whole different level of twisted to even be able to carry out such rites and it did..,' she suppressed a shiver of shame and guilty. 'It did require a great sacrifice.'
Harry looked at her sharply at the mention of the unforgivable deed they'd done to get there, his eyes brimming with hidden secrets.
'We were terrified of what would happen. We didn't even know if we'd land at the right place or if we'd be able to change the past at all. For all we knew we could be walking to our death. But the way things were .. it was.. these are horrifyingly dark times that I'm talking about. Imagine the worst possible form of society and then imagine it tenfold. We had no other option. We'd have died one way or the other. So we took it. We took the risk and we made the journey.'
With a loud sigh, Harry moved to stand right beside the Pensieve in front of him, choosing to stare inside its depths rather than look his family in the eye. 'The year 1981 is when Voldemort vanishes. Or at least he did in the original timeline. There was a prophecy that said a child born at the end of July to a man and woman who had defeated him thrice would bring about his end. He took it quite literally and hunted down every child who could fit the description. He didn't stop with the children born into the Wizarding World. He killed every last one. Whether the child was magic or not.
'There were two in the end who were the perfect match. He picked one. He marked one as his equal, murdering his parents in cold blood in an attempt to finish him before he could even grow up to be a match. But the child survived. He survived the Killing Curse.'
'Nobody can survive the Killing Curse,' Remus frowned. 'And only a child at that? How could a child have done that?'
'His mother's love,' Hermione replied somberly. 'The child survived as the curse rebounded leaving Voldemort in a debilitated state. He fled the scene, stripped of his powers, and went into hiding.'
'But he came back.' Harry stifled the need to rub against his eyes. 'He came back in the year 1994. The child had grown. He'd learned thins. The Order of the Phoenix which had until then been disbanded came back together to fight Voldemort but it wasn't enough.' His voice broke, 'Nothing could have been enough for what came next. We could never have been prepared.'
Hermione wrapped her arm around his. 'His Death Eaters murdered. They raped. They butchered people. I don't wish to make light of what's been happening over the last few years here but what came next was horrible. By the year 1997, Voldemort had full control of the Ministry.'
Dumbledore, too, gasped.
'Muggleborns were required to register themselves, their very existence threatened,' Hermione explained. 'They were enslaved, turned into playthings. None of it .. none of it made sense but our world was falling apart right in front of our eyes. We had taken a rough depletion of our numbers. It was clear we were failing miserably. But we kept fighting until there was -,' her voice broke. She closed her eyes, turning her back to everyone as her stomach knotted.
'Until there was nobody left to fight anymore,' Harry finished for her, his face impassive and his words wooden. He stood rigidly, his stony mask never once slipping. 'I could go on and tell you how the Statute of Secrecy fell and how the Muggle world was ripped apart. I could tell you how every last member of the Order died. I could go on all night but you'd never believe me.' He dug deep into the pockets of his jeans, pulling out a tiny bundle. 'Hermione?' he called out.
She turned, tapping her wand against the pile which grew into two small vials, both containing inside them a silver wisp of a thread.
'Memories,' Rab murmured, enraptured.
'That's right,' she nodded along. 'Memories worth a decade of our lives from the future.'
Harry looked troubled. He drew in a breath and cast a nonverbal spell on himself, his body immediately flooded by nicks and cuts and several abrasions, the only ones visible to the Marauders and co being those on his face. Their eyes were glued to the most peculiar of them all, the lightning bolt on his forehead.
'This is where the Killing Curse rebounded,' Hermione explained before following in Harry's footsteps and removing the glamours on herself.
Another series of gasps was let out as their company surveyed the battered looks of the two war trodden child-soldiers, their scars echoing the after effects of horrors they never hoped to see.
'My name is Hermione Jean Granger, born to a Muggle couple on September 19, 1979,' she said calmly. She wound her way around and entwined her fingers with those of Harry's. 'And this is my best friend, Harry James Potter, born to Lily and James Potter on July 31, 1980.'
Quiet followed. Nobody said a word. Nobody dared disturb the silence.
The floodgates opened for Lily then, tears slipping past her rosy cheeks as she gripped onto James for dear life.
'You're-,' James began as he looked fervently at Harry. 'You're our .. son?'
Harry dared not meet his parents' gaze, fearful of what he'd find but there was the hint of an imperceptibly small nod from him.
'Voldemort killed them?' Sirius croaked.
'That can't be,' Peter nearly yelled. 'They're already under the protection of the Fidelius Charm and there's not even a threat of a prophecy hanging around their heads this time round!'
Hermione visibly flinched, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by the Marauders, as she saw Harry's hands ball into fists.
'What war doesn't see traitors?' Remus realised, his voice subdued and heavy, falling down heavily into the sofa, trying his best not to raise his eyes in an accusing glare across to Peter.
'I would,' Peter pleaded, as the realisation set in, 'I would never!'
Sirius' back was shaking with fury, every fibre of his being revolting at the very idea of betrayal. 'That's right he wouldn't. Tell me this isn't an elaborate prank.'
'Hermione?' Lily's voice begged.
Harry bit down on his lip. He wasn't prepared for this. He could never have been prepared for this.
Hermione's heart broke for her best friend. 'No, Lily. This isn't a joke. This is the truth,' she raised the vials for everyone to see, tipping the contents of one of them into the Pensieve before her, noticing how each fragment of it began to show a swirling mist of silver. 'Let us show you,' she whispered.
Rab placed a comforting hand on Lily's shoulder. He might not have known her but he could see that the family needed a something to ground them. 'Whatever comes next, know that it will never come to be,' he said softly. 'It's a future your son is trying to prevent from happening.'
Lily and James's eyes shot to those of Harry's, now unashamedly tearing up.
Dumbledore rose from his position, the first to enter the Pensieve showing the others the way.
'Give us a chance,' Hermione pleaded. She saw as one by one each of the wizards gathered around and dipped their heads into the magical liquid, Lily being the last one to go, glancing one last time in Harry's direction, as if memorising every detail of his face.
'We need to do it too, Hermione,' Harry whispered to her after everyone had left.
'I know, Harry,' she mumbled. 'Let us be brave.'
They bowed their heads simultaneously into the Pensieve, witnessing how only within a second the very atmosphere of their surroundings had changed from a warmly lit up room to a cold and windy night.
Hermione barely registered the presence of the others around her as her eyes took in the memory before her. Her mouth opened in shock as she, too, witnessed the events of the fateful night for the first time. The night where everything had began.
The memories didn't start with their very first Hogwarts Express ride. No. They started with Voldemort's worst memory which Harry had come to see while running away from Godric's Hollow.
Her eyes bled of pain as she looked at Harry clench his teeth, his tears running amok.
The curtains were not drawn. A tall back haired man in his glasses sat blissfully unaware, making puffs of colored smoke rise from the tip of his wand as his baby boy looked on, laughing and trying to catch the wisps of the colours in his s fist.
A door creaked open to allow a beautiful redhead radiating happiness to enter, taking the child from her husband's arms, watching as the man yawned tiredly upon dropping his wand on the sofa.
The gate made a screeching noise as it was pushed aside.A man, no, not a man. The monster in his dark robes raised a white hand to blast open the door, the sound of it alerting James to run into the hall.
"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!"
It was heartbreaking. He had no wand. He had nothing but a father's pain filled scream of fury.
Voldemort laughed in his face."Avada Kedavra!"
Hermione distinctly heard a grief stricken screams being let out that had nothing to do with the memory.
The green light filled the hallway, the pram pushed up against the wall lighting up in the deadly glow.
James Potter fell, his face an ashen blue as a tear glistened across his dead eyes.
A woman was screaming upstairs. The door to their bedroom was forced open and boxes piled against it cast aside.
Tears stained Lily Potter's cheeks as she hastily dropped her tiny boy into his crib, raising her arms as if to shield him.
"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"
"Stand aside, you silly girl... stand aside, now."
"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead -"
"This is my last warning -"
"Not Harry! Please .. have mercy .. have mercy .. Not Harry! Not Harry! Please - I'll do anything .."
"Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!"
A green light flashes again and the woman fell to her knees.
The child shed no tears, his childlike innocence intact as he clutched onto the bars of his crib, looking up at the stranger, wondering if it was his father beneath the cloak playing another trick. He hoped there would be more lights. Green lights.
Voldemort raised his wand once again that night, his glee seeming to burst.
It wasn't his father, the child realised.
Harry began crying then, tiny sobs breaking through his small fist he used to wipe at his cheeks, begging for his mummy .. his daddy ..
"Avada Kedavra!"
Voldemort broke. He was nothing and everything all at once. He was floating, his body under unbelievable pain.
The mists whirled across as the memory changed.
"I'm a wizard?" An eleven year old Harry whispered to Hagrid's bulky frame.
"Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –"
"I heard you went to live with muggles. What are they like?"
"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one."
"I'm Hermione Granger and you are -?"
"I'm Ron Weasley."
The knife was twisted in deeper.
"Harry Potter."
"Are you really? I know all about you, of course - Igot a few extra books. for background reading, and you're in Modern
Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and GreatWizarding Events of the Twentieth Century."
"I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks."
"Mental, that one, I'm telling you."
"GRYFFINDOR!"
"Stop, stop, stop!"
"It's levi-o-sa not levios-a. No wonder she hasn't got any friends."
"Hermione! She doesn't know! We've got to help her, Ron!'"
"Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."
"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."
"You haven't got a letter on yours. I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge."
"HAVE YOU GONE MAD! ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!"
"It's obvious, isn't it? We've got to play our way across the room."
"I'm not as good as you."
"Me! Books! And cleverness! There are more importantthings - friendship and bravery and - oh Harry - be careful!"
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
"You filthy little mudblood!"
"There's not a spell our Hermione can't do."
"Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet."
"Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through ..."
"Dobby is free."
"Because that's what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library."
"Neville will play Quidditch for England before Hagrid lets Dumbledore down."
"He was their friend. And he betrayed them. HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!"
"You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!"
"If you wanna kill Harry then you'll have to kill us too."
"I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for."
"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?Only innocent lives, Peter!"
"He would have killed me, Sirius!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"
"It's cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you so little. But know this; the ones that love us never really leave us."
"You really are the brightest witch of your age."
"Don't let the Muggles get you down!"
"Accio Firebolt!"
"Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats."
"Then I expect she's feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can't work out who she likes best. Then she'll be feeling guilty, thinking it's an insult to Cedric's memory to be kissing Harry at all, and she'll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can't work out what her feelings towards Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when Cedric died, so that's all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she's afraid she's going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's flying so badly."
"One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
"You know the solution, then, don't you? Next time there's a ball pluck up the courage and ask me before somebody else does! And not as a last resort!"
"Cedric!"
"That's my boy! My boy!"
"He's back! He's back! I couldn't leave his body! Not there!"
"Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."
"You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?"
"I see them d-d-dead all the time! All the t-t-time! I d-d-dream about it . . ."
"It means that the Ministry is interfering with Hogwarts."
"The more you care the more you have to lose."
"Sometimes, the way you talk about him, it's as though you think you've got your best friend back!"
"He's not your son."
"He's as good as. Who else has he got?"
"He's got me!"
"I said I'm fine, Ron!"
"You're amazing, you are."
"Always the tone of surprise."
"It may have escaped your notice but life isn't fair!"
"Neville Longbottom, is it? How's mum and dad?"
"You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him."
"You're the weak one. And you'll never know love, or friendship. And I feel sorry for you."
"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."
"THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE HUMAN! I DON'T CARE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"
"The things we lose have a way of coming back to us."
"He's just a boy."
"The thing about growing up with Fred and George is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."
"I am not being ridiculous. Tonks deserves somebody young and whole."
"What does it feel like, Harry? When you see Ginny with Dean?"
"I have to kill you! Or he's going to kill me.."
"Severus, please .."
"Avada Kedavra!"
"It's been like...like something out of someone else's life these last few weeks with you. But I can't...we can't...I've got to do things alone now. Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to. He's already used you as bait once, and that was just because you were my best friend's sister. Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up. He'll know, he'll find out. He'll try and get me through you."
"But you've been too busy saving the Wizarding world. Well ... I can't say I'm surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that's why I like you so much."
"I will do what it takes to survive."
"We're with you, Harry. No matter what happens."
"Leave Hermione? We wouldn't last two days without her."
"Ron! He's splinched himself! Accio dittany!"
"I'm doing everything I can."
"You're not doing enough!"
"Your parents are dead!"
"You choose him, then. Fine. I get it. I saw you two the other night."
"Ron, there's nothing!"
"If I brought my parents back now they wouldn't recognize anything. Not even me-"
"She's like my sister. I love her like a sisterand I reckon she feels the same way about me. It's always been like that. I thought you knew."
"You. Complete. Arse, Ronald Weasley!"
"Your voice, Hermione."
"Don't - don't touch her!"
"Hermione!"
"You broke into my vault! Tell me! Tell me where did you find it!"
"I didn't.. I didn't take anything.. please.. let me go! Please.."
"Help me. Hermione - please .."
"Such a beautiful place it is, to be with friends. Dobby is happy with his friend ... Harry Potter."
"Here lies Dobby, a free elf."
"I'm sorry too, that I will never know him ... but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life."
"You have your mother's eyes."
"And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them, and Fred's eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face."
"Hide them. Hide them all!"
"Yes. The boy must die. It is essential."
"You've kept him alive so he can die at the proper moment?"
"Always."
"Does it hurt? Dying?"
"The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman or child, will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together."
"I'll join you when hell freezes over. Dumbledore's Army!"
"HARRY! WHERE'S HARRY?"
"Fight! Fight! Fight for my Master, defender of house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord, in the name of brave Regulus! Fight!"
Hermione was jerked into a clearer memory.
'No! Why did he have to run away?' Ron cried in the middle of the newly reinstated Grimmauld Place, its wards once again strengthened.
'The fact of the matter is that he's still alive and at large,' Charlie spoke quietly. 'We have to stop squabbling amongst ourselves.'
'Question is what comes next,' Hermione said as she leaned tiredly against the doorframe.
'It was supposed to be over by now,' Harry dropped to his knees, his voice weary. 'The war was supposed to be over. We .. we hardly have the numbers and the strength to continue fighting.'
Nobody made tl answer, every witch and wizard feeling equal amount of helplessness.
Ginny leaned her head against Harry's, murmuring sweet nothings in his ear.
'Is this the famous Gryffindor bravery?' Draco Malfoy sauntered inside, brushing across Hermione, his smirk in place, satisfied as everyone's face whipped into his direction. 'You quiver before him now when we should be readying ourselves to strike? Don't lose heart just yet. All you need is a little of the conniving Slytherin and we're sorted. We do whatever we can to thwart him, Potter. If we've suffered losses then they have too. If we've been weakened then so have them. Prepare yourselves, the lot of you. The real war is only just beginning.'
AN:
I wasn't going to write another chapter for weeks but my birthday being only a day later I decided I wanted to do something for myself and what could be better than a little determination and striking off a goal off of my to-do list. So there you have it. This was written in less than four hours but at this point it's far more than I could ever have expected. I really do apologize for the subpar writing I've been doing since the last few times. I will be editing the story and refining it as much as I can once its finished so I'm hoping the end result should be okay.
All the quotes used in the memories except the last have been directly taken from the books or the movies. I realise there were no details but it was just meant to be a montage of everything that happened in the books.
Just to make things clear the fic diverges from canon after Harry reveals that he's alive. There was no final showdown.
Next chapter will pick up the AU bit and how the couple years post Battle of Hogwarts turned out for the Order.
As always, thank you very much for your support :)