Chapter 7 - Remade
Author's Note: Some... progress is made? xP
~ Amina Gila
They're trying to follow a trail to find Padme and his children again, and Vader can only be grateful for that. He's keeping all his focus on that, and surprisingly, it seems that Obi-Wan is doing likewise. He's spoken very little to Vader since their fight.
He hadn't been expecting Obi-Wan to already be back at their ship when he showed up, and most of all, he hadn't been expecting the complete lack of response. He'd expected... something violent. Far too clearly, Vader remembers what Sidious did to him after he'd tried to kill him. Everything from that time right after Mustafar he remembers through nothing but haze of pain, but that sticks out the clearest.
The memory of the lightning burning across his already still charred skin was – he shies away from the memory just as quickly.
Vader doesn't know what to think of how Obi-Wan is acting, though. He's not being... overly threatening or anything else Vader might have expected, but he's not giving him much attention beyond necessity, unlike before.
He can't say he wants attention, but the sudden distance stings in a way he can't really explain.
They're a distance away from their ship when Vader suddenly senses the first inkling of danger in the Force.
"Master –"
"I sense it, too," Obi-Wan replies, eyes narrowing as he reaches for his lightsaber, scanning their surroundings. Vader shakes off the memory of how many times they've had similar exchanges a lifetime ago.
For an aching moment, he almost wishes that – that things hadn't had to change as they did, but there was nothing of that life that wasn't a lie, too. It's not as if he was ever truly... happy then either. He doesn't know if he's ever known what that word means.
A blaster shot suddenly rings out, and Vader deflects it with his hand – it would have hit his helmet if he was a moment slower – spinning to see a bounty hunter perched on a position a distance away.
They fire again, and Obi-Wan deflects the blast away with his lightsaber, as Vader draws his own. He reaches out with the Force as always, ready for a fight. A real fight, this time, because these bounty hunters were foolish for truly thinking they could defeat them. Tarkin must be giving them more attention than they'd suspected.
Nearby, Vader can sense several others approaching, and danger flares again as something comes flying towards them. He knows by how dangerousit feels that it must be a grenade of some kind, and he throws it off-course with the Force, back at its target. It explodes, tearing through the trees – and taking out two of the people hiding in them.
Several Trandoshans are closing in, and Vader lashes out with the Force, easily crushing their necks.
Obi-Wan cuts down a few who happened to be too close, but Vader can still sense several others coming. They must have been tracking them for a while – it explains those feelings he's been getting, even if he was never able to locate the source because of how much moving they were doing.
They hurl several more grenades through the trees. Vader deflects away the ones closest to him, but one of them hits the ground near Obi-Wan and explodes. He sees his master stumble, as the glow of fire from it starts to fade when the bounty hunter in a sniping position fires again.
Obi-Wan doesn't turn to block it quite fast enough, and the shot strikes his arm. His master stumbles, and for a moment, Vader nearly freezes, because Obi-Wan is hurt,and he's never had to deal with that before as Vader. Doesn't know how to.
Except the bounty hunter shoots again, and this time, he misses, but – They're trying to kill them. They hurt his master, and he could almost be surprised at his own sudden fury. No one does that and gets away with it. (He thought he wanted to hurt him himself, but then he did and all he felt was... No, that was never what he wanted, even if he doesn't know anymore what he does want.)
Vader lashes out with the Force, reaching for the bounty hunter a distance away. He may be far, but that doesn't mean he can't reach him, wrapping the Force around his neck and yanking him towards them.
He can feel the bounty hunter's fear radiating into the Force as he struggles in his grip – he should have known better than to come after Sith. He should have known better than to harm his master.
"Wait," Obi-Wan orders, right before Vader crushes the bounty hunter's neck.
He pauses instinctively, awaiting his next command.
"He will be more useful alive," Obi-Wan explains, "Take him to our ship."
"He is merely a bounty hunter," Vader objects. And they both know there's a high bounty on their heads.
"Not for information."
Then what?
Actually, he thinks he might know, and he still doesn't know what to... think of that. He doesn't understand why Obi-Wan is doing that.
Still, he releases the bounty hunter, then uses his own binders to cuff him before taking him to a spare room on their ship. It's not exactly intended for imprisoning people, but it will work.
Obi-Wan is sitting on the bench in the hold when he steps out, with the ship's medpack next to him, though how he's going to use it when his right arm is too injured to move properly, Vader can't tell. He doesn't seem sure himself, if his scowl is anything to go by.
Vader moves forwards, almost awkwardly. "I can... assist," he offers, haltingly.
Obi-Wan looks up, hesitant. "It's unnecessary," he replies finally.
Vader's hands fall to his sides, uncomfortably. He... doesn't know how to interact with him anymore. Especially not since their fight. Though he questions if they ever did. He doesn't know if Obi-Wan wants him to leave or not, so he just stands there as his master starts trying, and failing, to treat it.
"Do you require my presence?" Vader asks finally.
Obi-Wan looks up again, a mixture of... near irritated and something he can't identify. "No."
He thinks it's permission to leave though he wavers for another moment just to see if his master will change his mind. (He's not comfortable around him anyway, so he doesn't know why the curt dismissal leaves him feeling so... stung. He already knows that they can't ever have what they once did. He knew that on Mustafar, so why does it leave him feeling so empty?)
**w**
Obi-Wan really doesn't know what to think about how Anakin is acting, but truthfully, he often isn't. It's just... different now, he thinks. Maybe it's just that he's only starting to accept that what they once had is lost forever. That knowledge leaves a gaping emptiness in its wake.
He knows he doesn't know nearly enough about the Dark Side, but he finds himself somewhat reluctant to draw on it in front of Anakin. He can't even say why – maybe it's just that he's afraid of scaring him again. It'd hardly be the first time he did that, after all.
Truthfully? He's beginning to question the possibility of them being able to rebuild anything at all. He almost wishes he didn't come back.
Almost.
At least Sidious is dead.
Seeing what Anakin is now is nothing but a reminder of what they had and never can have again. At least it's not if he's the only one who wants it.
That knowledge makes him angry, and it's easy to use that, but he's certain he'll end up lashing out at Anakin, and he doesn't really want to do that again.
Anakin is alone in the next room, and from the darkness Obi-Wan senses from there, it makes him wonder – briefly – if his... apprentice is intending to betray him again. It's hard to tell with how unpredictable he is, but he can't ignore the urge to go make sure, just in case. If he has to watch his back constantly, it'll make getting anything done far more difficult.
Hesitantly, cautiously, he enters the room where Anakin is. For a long moment of painful silence, they just look at each other.
"Why did you not finish it?" Anakin demands finally. The pain in his voice is hidden, but Obi-Wan can sense it clearly enough in the Force that he could almost swear his vocoder somehow conveys the emotion perfectly.
"I couldn't." It's not hard to know what Anakin is talking about, but... that is something Obi-Wan doesn't want to think about. He never wants to think about it. He definitely doesn't want to talk about it.
"You wanted it," Anakin snarls. "You should have ended it. Why did you keep me alive?"
"Why do you want to die?" Obi-Wan asks. He can't even begin to understand that kind of mindset. It's far different than anything he's ever dealt with before. So, what...?
There's a long moment of hesitation. Obi-Wan senses a flare of anxiety from him. "The Empire is gone," he answers finally, "I have... no purpose."
For some reason, Obi-Wan thinks that's only half an answer. "I sense there's more."
"I hate you," he growls, pushing himself to his feet. The suddenness, the anger, makes Obi-Wan step back. It reminds him too much of Mustafar. "You took me apart and made me into this... thing. I spent long enough being Sidious's apprentice; I don't know how to be yours. And then you ask me this?"
He swallows back his instinctive urge to throw back something equally nasty. After their fight earlier, especially considering how injured Obi-Wan is right now, that's probably not the best idea. He doesn't exactly have the energy for a third fight in a row. Anakin wore him down enough the first time, which is what let him get injured in the second. "Yes, I ask you this," he says, "Because you have always been reckless, and I do not know where it originated from. So, tell me."
For a fleeting moment Obi-Wan thinks Anakin is about to lash out at him. "I joined Sidious to end corruption. To bring peace and order. But there is nothing, and I am everything I seek to destroy."
If Anakin wasn't so angry, Obi-Wan might move closer or try to... something. But the black fire of his presence is dark and angry and burning. "I warned you of that."
"You should have ended it," Anakin snaps.
How easy it would be, Obi-Wan thinks idly, to close the distance between them, but he won't risk that. Not when Anakin is so... wild. Not after earlier. "How could I?"
"You left me there to die!" Anakin throws back accusingly.
"I didn't think I had a choice!" Obi-Wan yells back, finally snapping. "I didn't know there were answers outside the Jedi way, outside what I was taught my whole life!"
How someone can flinch so visibly inside that armor, he has no idea, but Anakin has somehow backed halfway across the room in the time Obi-Wan was talking.
He lets out quiet sigh, stepping forward. Anakin doesn't move, but his wariness flares loudly into the Force. Obi-Wan reaches up to lay his hand on Anakin's shoulder. If Anakin's about to lash out, the Force will warn him. He doesn't need to be afraid of that, and it's almost maddening how much he is.
"I'll finish healing you," he says, "Perhaps after that, concerns over the shakiness of this alliance will come to an end."
Anakin's presence is as still as it can be. "I serve only you, Master."
"Really," Obi-Wan can't help asking dryly, "You seemed to forget that a few hours ago."
"I did not know what it would mean to be alone."
Whatever that means. It makes about as much sense as just about everything about Anakin Skywalker, so he doesn't ask. Uncertainly, he raises his other hand, tracing his fingers over the ridges of the mask. Sidious, Obi-Wan suspects, might've intentionally designed this as a torture mask, and something to keep the world from seeing its wearer, but that's not enough to stop Obi-Wan from seeing who and what is beneath it.
"Stay with me," he requests, "We can do this together." He's not entirely certain of that, but he can't handle the thought of losing him again.
"I am yours," Anakin replies, solemnly.
It's terrifying in a whole new way to have someone looking at him with such blinding... he cannot truly call it loyalty. Servitude would be a better term. He doesn't know how to begin addressing that so, for now, he doesn't even try.
Obi-Wan pulls him into a brief hug. Anakin leans down the slightest bit, enough to rest his head on Obi-Wan's shoulder. It's almost awkward with the size – and weight – of his helmet, but it's... The first time Anakin's seemed like he actually wants it, and Obi-Wan can't take that for granted anymore, with everything that's gone down between them.
"Then don't give me a reason to hurt you again." He doesn't want to risk it falling that far again. It's been three times now, and Obi-Wan doesn't want to hurt him.
It wasn't... serious this past time, but that doesn't change that it happened.
"I will try."
"I believe that's the most I can ask for." His arm is throbbing sharply at the movement, but he can't regret this moment. He almost wishes he had asked Anakin to help treat it though. Almost. "We should get into hyperspace before someone else finds us," he decides, pulling back. After all, they really could use a bit less action for the time being.
**w**
They get off the planet easily enough, and no other bounty hunters seem to have picked up their trail. It isn't much longer before the day for Anakin's medical appointment arrives – which is also good because there's only so long that they can keep a bounty hunter imprisoned on their ship.
Anakin never speaks very much, but he seems even more quiet and rigid than normal when they finally head for Polis Massa. It's ironic that Anakin's surgery is at the same place Padme gave birth to the twins, the same place Obi-Wan first struggled to come to terms with the fact that he would never see Anakin again.
He does not like being back here with everything that it reminds him of. In a way, he supposes it's fitting that this is the place where Anakin will be as healed as he ever can be.
He's been waiting for this, so he doesn't know why he feels almost nervous now. But then, he's about to perform many Dark Side rituals, intermixed with normal medical treatment. There's no room for mistakes.
Anakin is still quiet when they finally reach the operating room. There are only droids here and he's grateful for that – it will give them more privacy to interact. "Are you ready?" Obi-Wan asks, looking up at his mask.
The momentary hesitation is probably a more truthful answer than any he'll actually get from him. "Yes, Master."
"It will be alright," he promises. It's really the most he can offer. Especially when Anakin is taking no initiative himself. He still doesn't know if he will ever get Anakin back as once was, but after their conversation, he feels a small flicker of hope again that maybe this might... change something. Maybe. He won't worry about it right now.
The droids move forwards, and finally start taking off his armor. It's the first time he's seen Anakin's face since shortly after this... alliance, it sickens him again to see what he looks like, His face is still painfully familiar, and Obi-Wan's missed seeing him so much. Yellow eyes meet his gaze for a moment before he hastily looks away. "Anakin..." he murmurs, realizing a moment late that that maybe he shouldn't have called him that again, yet.
The Sith only twitches slightly, though, remaining silent. He seems... uncomfortable, which isn't really a surprise.
Seeing his scarred skin again is no more pleasant than last time, especially with the telltale fresh burn marks tracing across it, even if they aren't nearly as severe. His doing. Obi-Wan tears his eyes away from them, trying to focus on anything else.
The droids transfer Anakin to the operating table next, so they can continue with what they need to do. They're going to put him in an induced coma so they can essentially heal all his organs.
The sudden rush of fear coiling in the Force catches Obi-Wan completely off-guard. Anakin doesn't lash out, but there's a distinct note of panic in his eyes now. "What is it?" Obi-Wan asks uncertainly, moving closer.
His breathing is picking up – that is, the respirator that's still controlling it is, to keep up with him.
What is he so scared of?
"Anakin?" he asks again, reaching out to lightly touch his shoulder.
"Master," he murmurs – at least he's still somewhat aware of his surroundings.
"Anakin, it's alright." He tries to sound soothing, but he's not entirely sure if Anakin will take it that way. "I'm not going to hurt you."
He doesn't really seem to believe it, if the look of unchecked terror in his eyes is anything to go by, but Obi-Wan wonders how much Anakin is actually seeing him. Or if what he's thinking of now is... something Sidious did to him?
The memory of his initial surgery when he was put into this medical abomination couldn't be pleasant, but even so, he doesn't know why it would elicit such a reaction unless...
Truthfully? He doesn't want to know the answer to that.
**w**
His back pressed against the operating table, trapped there when he wants to be anywhere else, with his master hovering right next to him, is a far too familiar position to be in.
It feels like he can't breathe, like every breath Vader does manage to take in is like breathing fire – yes, he knows what that feels like, too – past the panic consuming him. He knows what Obi-Wan said he was bringing him here for. He can't say he entirely believes it, though.
This position is too familiar, and it's not as if his master has treated him drastically different from Sidious so far, even if it's just in a different way. He doesn't know why his master would want it, and –
All he can remember right now is all the times he's been strapped here, cut apart fully conscious. It was Sidious' favorite punishment method – especially when it was needed anyway if he made a mistake and damaged himself on a mission – aside from lightning, and Obi-Wan's already used that on him twice.
Obi-Wan's faint 'I'm not going to hurt you' filters in through his panic, and he wants to believe it, but he doesn't know if he can.
He can feel his master's hand lightly resting on his shoulder, and wants it, wants more. Even if he won't dare lean into it right now because he can't trust it when he's not convinced this isn't about to...
Something.
He doesn't deserve to be out of this thing, but the thought of being able to feel again all the time is... He wants that. He wants his master to do what he's saying, but at the same time, he doesn't, because it only means there will be more of him that can be taken apart again.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan calls again, but that name, and that voice is nearly enough to make him flinch. Obi-Wan may have been... important to him once, but he hasn't brought Vader anything but pain.
His master's hand lightly runs along his arm, and he suppresses a quiet gasp at the sensation. He hasn't felt that much in so long. Still, Obi-Wan's presence is too close.
"Focus on me," he instructs.
That's exactly what Vader is doing. And it is most certainly not helping.
"Not on what you're remembering."
All he can do is try to focus on the sensation of being touched instead of his panic, even if it only helps so much. He's experienced... things like this before, but he can't try to focus on breathing the way he once might have.
"I'll be here. I'm not leaving you," Obi-Wan promises, reaching up to touch his cheek, with a surprising amount of gentleness. Vader wishes the words could reassure him. Maybe they do, a little. Or maybe he's beginning to feel too tired to be so scared. Whatever happens, there's little he can do to stop it. He can only submit, like he always did with Sidious.
It will only serve to fuel the Dark Side.
Although he doesn't see how being out of the suit will do that.
"Sedate him," Obi-Wan orders finally, still not moving away. Vader is somewhat grateful for that. The touch, at least, makes it easier. It's – it's a reward Sidious never gave him. (So long as it won't be used to hurt him again next.)
The last thing he sees is Obi-Wan's yellow eyes, now fading to blue for some reason, watching him with concern, unless he's just imagining it – before his vision finally fades to a blissful black.
**w**
The procedures are taking longer than Obi-Wan was hoping, even if he knew it was likely. It still hurts to see Anakin lying there so still and unmoving, his presence eerily quiet.
He has no idea what Anakin's going to be like, either, once he wakes up from this. But at least he should be able to heal all his internal organs, thanks to the life force of the bounty hunter they brought.
It's a matter of taking out all the implants and healing what was left of them. The only thing Obi-Wan knows they won't be able to fix are Anakin's limbs. He was hoping they could, but even with another life to use for it, Obi-Wan doesn't think he'd be able to do it. Regrowing limbs is something far more intricate, and he doesn't know nearly enough about the Dark Side to do it.
It would probably involve intricately manipulating midi-chlorians to regenerate it, and he doesn't know nearly enough about that. There's very little information on that kind of thing. The most he can do now is find the best prosthetics there are – with as realistic touch sensors as possible – to replace them.
And apparently, the three limbs he got later on were all installed in a way that caused pain, and sometimes, he wishes he could have kept Sidious alive to use him for healing Anakin, too.
It irks Obi-Wan how exhausting and draining the process is on himself. Intertwining himself so deeply with Anakin's presence, even when he's unconscious, is extremely draining and dangerous. Anakin's presence has always been so bright – even after his injuries – and that can make being in such close mental proximity with him risky. Not to mention overwhelming.
He's impatient for the recovery process to be over so they can wake him up, though. Anakin's been unconscious long enough, and Obi-Wan just... wants him to be awake again.
But neither of them will have to wait much longer.
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