Earthshine

Chapter VII

"Allegro di Vitalia"

…

"All you need is that perfect song on that perfect drive to feel infinite."

-unknown

…

[Edward]

I had every intention going into this that I would push my car to its limit, giving Vitalia the thrill of her life. I felt myself smirk as I pushed down on the gas pedal and watched the speedometer start to climb.

But then I glanced over at the girl. I saw she had her feet propped on the dash, comfortable as could be, as her hand danced through the air rushing in from the open window.

This is nice, she thought as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Love going for drives.

An unexpected shame shot through me. A responsibility that I was ignoring. What was I thinking? Bella's cautioning voice was in my head, demanding that I slow down, but that wasn't what had me conflicted.

I wondered if Vitalia would try to follow my example by speeding down the road? What if I became the reason she ended up with her name in an obituary?

Even without my vampirism being more than a minimal threat to her, my other inclinations might be. Was my proximity doomed to be hazardous to all of humankind?

I didn't have to worry about this with Bella because she would never do something so reckless. She was always careful. Always responsible. Oh the irony! I could speed with Bella without fear of it endangering her, yet she hated it. And here I was with a member of the human race who would love it, but I was bound to be responsible and restrain myself.

Story of my life.

With an internal groan, I eased off the gas, watching morosely as the needle lowered to a more acceptable speed. I felt incredibly foolish, getting pulled into Vitalia's dangerous, thrill-seeking mindset. Even momentarily. I was disappointed in myself.

This car ride was going be very different than I'd imagined. Unbearably slower.

I looked Vitalia's way again, curious if she'd noticed the increase then quick decrease in speed, but she only glanced to my stereo and leaned forward.

We need some music for this.

When she turned it on it was the classical CD Bella and I had picked out earlier for her trip to work. Vitalia made a face before quickly switching to the radio.

I shook my head. Poor taste. She didn't seem like the classical type though.

She settled on a pop country song, which she started singing loudly to.

"I feel no shame, I'm proud of where I came from, I was born and raised in the boondocks!"

I grimaced. Country. One of my least favorite genres. Jasper also liked to blare it loudly. I knew the song, of course, but certainly wouldn't be joining her in singing it.

From the corner of my eye, I saw her reach for her seat belt and begin pressing down on the release. I quickly shot my hand out to stop her.

My hand covering hers, I shook my head as she quickly looked up and caught my eye.

"My car, my rules." I told her firmly.

Yes, definitely a good idea not to recklessly speed with this one around. Almost all of her instincts leaned toward danger.

Fortunately Bella had gotten me into the habit of wearing a seat belt, ridiculous as it was, but it saved me from looking like a hypocrite now.

Vitalia shrugged and held up both hands as she sat back, smirk forming.

"O kay. No worries."

She started tapping her leg in time with the beat on the stereo, her head bobbing as she continued to sing. Her voice wasn't bad, but the lyrics continued to make me grimace.

But I was glad she'd taken my command in stride. She was the rebellious type, to be sure, but she was also incredibly easygoing.

"And I can taste that honeysuckle and it's still so sweet when it grows wild."

She got more into it as it went on, sitting up and dancing in her seat before glancing over and laughing when she saw my expression.

Must not be a fan of this type of music. I mean, if that classical CD is anything to go off of, he has very different taste.

She reached out and drummed a hand on my shoulder before wriggling her eyebrows. It was so absurd that I couldn't help but chuckle at her.

"Come on, sing along, Eddy!"

"No thanks. I'm good."

She wasn't deterred and continued swaying and snapping her fingers.

"You get a line, I get a pole, we'll go fishing in the crawfish hole."

I didn't know what it was about Southerners and their attachment to their homeland. It seemed it ran so strong that even the afterlife couldn't erase it. None of us reminisced about our homes the way Jasper did. He had such a fondness for it. A longing. He remembered the feelings he got from it so clearly that it was stronger than the pain associated with it. Everything that had happened between he and Maria had happened in Texas and yet his love for the place had not been uprooted.

I turned onto the interstate, increasing my speed as much as I responsibly could. Vitalia, unaware of the difference between this speed and the one I was used to driving, broke into a wide grin and let out a holler before throwing her hand out the window again, hair flying wildly around her.

The best! She was thinking.

I felt myself relax as a slow grin spread across my face. I suddenly felt very light. Even if I wasn't able to go as fast as I preferred — something which generally bored me — it felt good to be able to do at least this for her. She seemed to be enjoying herself. She was content and excited with this. It was enough to thrill her.

What I could give was enough.

And something about that thought made me feel absolutely euphoric. I was able to actually enjoy this slow drive down the highway. Savor it.

She looked over at me. I could see her smile out of my periphery, and I glanced her way, holding her energetic eyes. The thrill that look gave me, of seeing her so elated by this, was indescribable. It made me feel weightless. Free.

I blinked and looked away, remembering that I had to act as I would with ordinary limitations. I had to keep my eyes on the road.

I could hear that her heart was racing now. It had already picked up with her adrenaline surge, but after I'd looked at her, it increased.

Those gold eyes are glowing! They're so stunning. She thought. He's enjoying this too. He really does know how to have fun when he loosens up.

There was a pause in her mind until she glanced to the speedometer and her mind backtracked to the reading from earlier. As it dipped from 90 to 65. She hummed to herself then leaned back against the seat as a slower song started playing.

After a moment, she started speaking. "So what happened? Why'd you slow down?"

I glanced at her quickly and she met my stare knowingly. It seemed she'd noticed, after all, though more as a secondary observation that only just came back to her.

Looking to the road again, I cleared my throat. "My reason came back to me."

"You started thinking too much again?"

"Something like that. A concern, more accurately."

"What sort of concern?" She started playing with the laces on her boots.

"That you would attempt speeding and get yourself killed."

Vitalia laughed and I narrowed my eyes. It was a perfectly valid concern.

"I'm not stupid, Edward." She said with a smile.

I blinked. She'd never used my full name before. It sounded a little strange coming from her.

"I wasn't implying that you were." Impressionable, yes. Reckless, yes. It didn't necessarily have anything to do with stupidity.

"Well then let me tell you. I'm a terrible driver. I've failed Driver's Ed twice." She held up two fingers. "Duh I'm not going to try speeding like a crazy person."

Like my dad. She thought. Or Eddy, apparently. Interesting side of him.

I breathed out in a relief. Maybe she did have lines. "Still not saying you're stupid, but it did seem like an unwise move to unbuckle your seatbelt. Kind of seemed to back up my decision."

She grimaced then thought it over before nodding. " Yeeah maybe. I'll give you that one." She reached out to pat my shoulder. "It's sweet of you to care."

I would've taken her words as condescension, but her accompanying thoughts were genuine. She really thought it was sweet of me.

I appreciated that she took my protectiveness so easily, rather than argue against it. I knew I tended to come across as too controlling, especially with Bella. It frequently upset my beloved. But it was such an intregal part of my nature. I couldn't seem to untangle myself from it anymore than I could detach myself from my affections for her.

The song switched on the radio and I heard Vitalia start to softly sing along to it.

Love this one. She was thinking. Reminds me of Mama and Daddy.

"I wanna sleep on the hard ground In the comfort of your arms On a pillow of blue bonnets In a blanket made of stars Oh, it sounds good to me."

I tuned in as this one played, my mind conjuring an image of Bella and I lying together in our meadow — one of the thousands of memories I would carry with me into my miserable eternity.

This one isn't so bad, I thought with a little smile.

I see that, Eddy! Vitalia's thought broke through my daydream.

I glanced at her as she continued to sing, her mouth pulling into a smile as I turned to her.

"I said, cowboy take me away. Fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue."

As she said that last part, my attention was drawn more intently to the magnificent blue of her eyes. To their wildness.

I blinked, distracted for a moment.

"Set me free, oh, I pray Closer to heaven above and closer to you."

The first thing I'd noticed about Bella's eyes were their depth. The thing I was noticing about Vitalia's now was their vastness. Like the sky itself. There weren't any hidden secrets, her mind was free and open, but there was a limitless amount to discover. To explore. Like a great adventure.

Knowing him would be such an adventure, I can tell.

Our first meeting sprang to mind. The thoughts she'd offered that I'd found so ridiculous at the time now seemed like a strange foreshadowing. Or irony. Because knowing her would be the real adventure.

In the back of my mind I wondered why I was comparing Bella and Vitalia but I let it slip away. I wasn't sure why it was something I didn't want to face.

I did know that looking into her eyes gave me a similar feeling as when I drove as fast as my car could handle. It was that reckless abandon. That feeling of flying.

The song I'd mentally composed for Vitalia swept through my mind and I again determined that I needed to hear it brought to life.

The freeing feeling carried me through the rest of our drive and, once we reached town, she told me her parents wanted to meet at the small grocery store.

I pulled out front, a little disappointed that our time was already coming to an end.

"This was fun." Vitalia beamed as she unbuckled her belt. "We should do it again sometime."

"I'd like that." I nodded at her. It had been fun. I'd genuinely enjoyed myself.

I offered her one of my brighter smiles and she seemed unprepared for it. She blinked and her mind fell silent for a moment before she caught herself and smiled back.

Nice smile he has. Kind of dangerous looking even. I like it.

I could tell the sight of it excited her. In all my years as a vampire I'd gotten accustomed to expecting only fear from the human race. That subconscious need of theirs for survival. Even Bella had occasionally flinched in the beginning; had moments where I genuinely scared her, brave as she was.

But there were a few of them who actually liked the thrill. I wasn't used to it. I realized then that I wanted her to be able to have a full life. To not have it end prematurely. I needed to figure out a way to help her take her safety just a little more seriously. How might I inspire a healthy dose of fear in this girl?

"What is it, Eddy?" She asked, hand on the door.

I breathed in and tapped my finger on the steering wheel, looking away before glancing back at her. "You know how I told you I find your view of life extraordinary?"

She nodded.

I could feel my gaze intensify. "I do, but…I think it's also worth recognizing how precious your life is. That it's something worth protecting."

"Are you referring to my dangerous habits?"

"The thrills you get from danger, yes."

Vitalia shook her head, hand falling from the door. "Thriving versus surviving. That's my philosophy."

Life has risks. Why not embrace them?

"Vitalia." I turned to her in my seat. "Survive so you can thrive. Sure, take some risks. If you have to. Embrace the good and the bad. Whatever life throws at you. But don't rush out and invite its hazards. There's a difference between thriving in spite of danger and thriving because of it." My gaze turned softer. "I've seen you get as much joy from observing a small flower as you do talking about taunting wild bears."

She breathed in, eyes widening a little.

Wow. It's crazy how he almost seems to know exactly what I'm thinking. Exactly what I need to hear. He really is perceptive.

For a moment I tensed, but I realized she didn't seem to think anything was amiss. Just that I was gifted.

He really does have such a way with words too. Wise beyond his years.

Again, she was spot on without even realizing it.

"I'll have to think about this," Vitalia answered. "But it might be a hard habit to break." She reached out and patted my arm. "Your kind of inspiring though."

"I was hoping I'd prove to be."

She laughed. "Well, who knows? Maybe you'll be a good influence on me this summer."

Leaning away, she opened her door and stepped out. She peered through the window and waved. "Later! And thanks again. For caring."

No argument this time either. She accepted what I'd said without much resistance. I felt a hope spring up in me. Perhaps she wasn't a lost cause after all.

As I drove home, I considered how she thought I could be a good influence. Had that ever been the case before? Had I ever positively influenced anyone? I didn't think so. But I liked the thought. I liked thinking that meeting me was exactly what Vitalia needed.

The thought made me smile to myself and I parked my car before rushing inside. I had just enough time to play this song before picking up Bella.

Edward? My mother was thinking as I walked in. She was standing at the top of the stairs and my smile widened as I looked up at her before I continued into the piano room.

He's glowing. Her thoughts continued as I heard her softly follow me out of curiosity.

It was exactly what Vitalia had noticed too. I supposed my emotions were uncommonly light.

As I sat, her thoughts became more direct. It's nice to see you like this. You've been looking so down lately.

I hated that I was causing her to worry, unavoidable though it was. I only briefly felt the return of the grief I felt at leaving Bella before the feelings I'd been carrying all day took me over. I rested my hands on the ivory keys, closed my eyes, and listened to the notes a final time in my head before beginning to play.

My thoughts and feelings were instantly subdued by the melody as it filled the room — the joyful, flowing sound like a sunlit, rippling stream. It flowed out of me with ease, my mouth turning up in another smile as I was struck by the energy. Yes, this song embodied the girl exquisitely.

That Edward playing? Emmett thought before I heard him make his way down.

Rosalie came with him, as did Jasper. Alice hung back, her thoughts a jumble. All I caught were bits of her wondering about the shift she was supposedly seeing in me.

Carlisle had not been home when I arrived, but he entered now.

I've never heard him play anything like this.

I heard my father's steps as he moved to join us, keys jangling as he stopped beside my mother. He looks different.

What a nice feelin', Jasper was thinking. I think I know who this one's for. He was basking in my emotions and he pictured Vitalia first before picturing a vivid image of his homeland. I saw a summer sky and a long stretch of river. I was happy the song conveyed exactly what I wanted it to.

Their thoughts collectively fell silent as I continued the jaunty tune.

I considered some of the things they were thinking. Did I look different? In what way? I supposed, especially lately, it must be quite the contrast to my moping around. It was so hard to find the joy in things when the dread of giving up its source haunted my thoughts.

It was surprising even to me that I could be touched by joy now. Through this music, through that slow drive, some of life's cheer had managed to reach me. Vitalia was infectious that way.

This song was as full of life as the girl herself. It filled all the spaces, inside and out. Like a great light breaking through the gloom.

I had to agree with my father. I'd never written anything like this. There was nothing of the solemn, guilt-ridden, fatalistic composer in me. It felt uplifting to be able to expand my range this way. I now knew I was capable of writing something like this, though the inspiration could never have come from inside of me.

As the song came to a close, its echo lingered and I sat back before opening my eyes and exhaling. Yes, this hardly needed work. It had written itself.

I wondered if I'd ever get the chance to show Vitalia. She had shown an interest but I could hardly bring her to the house.

Perhaps the music room at the school. I could arrange that.

That was beautiful, my mom sent her thoughts as she applauded.

Even Rosalie's thoughts were kind. I could actually stand to listen to your music if you keep writing like this.

I wasn't sure if that could happen. This one was one of a kind. As unique as its muse.

I turned in my seat and was met with the stares of my family members. Some were curious, some admiring, and only Alice appeared concerned. I wondered why, but her thoughts were still guarded. Most of theirs, I suddenly realized, were guarded. Emmett's in particular. I looked his way but he pointedly ignored my stare.

I still needed to have a talk with him about that.

"It's a nice surprise, having you home." Carlise was the first to speak as he gave me a kind smile and wrapped an arm around Esme. "How long can you stay?"

I glanced at the clock on the wall. "I'm about to head out actually. Bella will be getting off soon."

Of course. Off he goes again. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

Man, I don't know how I didn't see it before. Vi showing up really shows the difference. Emmett slipped up and his eyes widened.

My curiosity reared its relentless head and I glanced at the clock again before deciding I could spare a few minutes.

"Emmett." I stayed seated at the piano bench and folded my hands together as I held my stare on him. "I know there's something you're trying to hide. I'd like to know what it is. What didn't you see before?"

He grimaced. "We can talk about this later. When you have more time. You aren't gonna like it."

Seriously, Edward. I know you.

I ground my teeth in frustration. I wished he would just get it over with. I was torn. I didn't want to be late picking up Bella, but putting this off would mean I'd have to wait about 18 hours or so for more answers. Of course, I could always leave for a bit while Bella slept to come back and discuss it later tonight. I hated to leave her side, but this was going to be distracting me anyway.

"Fine." I looked between my family members and analyzed their thoughts a final time. "I'll be back tonight."

"We'll be here," Emmett declared.

Darn. I really messed up. He thought. How do I even talk about this?

Rosalie was wondering what it was he was hiding and Jasper was casting a knowing look between us.

My mother and father looked confused, but both were standing by with acceptance.

Esme approached and laid a hand on my shoulder with a kind smile. "That really was a beautiful song, Edward. Thank you for coming to play it today. Who inspired it?"

His songs are usually inspired by a person. Perhaps a new one for Bella? I really have missed him and his music.

I couldn't help internally flinching. I hated to cause my mother pain. I knew she understood my need to prioritize Bella, but that almost made it worse.

"Vitalia."

The voice was Jasper's and I glanced over as he sent me a half-smile and nod of his head.

The girl I met earlier? Esme thought curiously and I nodded while still looking at Jasper.

"You wrote a song for her?" Carlise asked.

My eyes shifted to my father and I met his measured stare. He was considering the way I'd looked the other day as I stood in the exam room. He was comparing it to the way I had looked while playing that song just now. Seeing myself from his eyes gave me pause a moment. The brightness of my expression…the playfulness in my tone as I'd spoken with Vitalia. I almost didn't recognize myself.

She seems a good friend for you, Edward.

His mind was then closed off to me and I was left to wonder if he was also hiding some of his thoughts from me.

No wonder I liked the song. Rosalie's thoughts came next. Vitalia is a serious upgrade from Bella, by the way.

I directed a very harsh glare her way. "Don't start, Rose."

"Edward?" Alice stepped in from the hallway, arms crossed and brows furrowed. "What's going on with this girl, exactly?"

She didn't sound happy.

Moving across the room to stand in front of her, I tilted my head, analyzing her face. I couldn't make out why she was so displeased looking though.

Then her thoughts revealed some of it to me. She was feeling protective of Bella. She wanted to know that this other girl wasn't a threat. Of all the other members of my family, Bella meant the most to Alice. They genuinely loved and cared for one another.

But it was foolish of her to worry. Didn't she know how my fierce my love for Bella was?

"A friendship, that's all."

"You don't go out of your way to make friends."

"No, but it was something that happened on its own. And she's leaving at the end of the summer anyway, so I don't see any lasting harm."

She's making an impression on you though, if you're writing songs for her. The others have noticed too. They've been coming to some conclusions of their own.

I gritted my teeth. Is that what they were hiding? Were they questioning my feelings for Bella? That was ridiculous. There was no one in the world who could come between she and I.

I directed a glare behind me, now more determined than ever to put a stop to their secret opinions about this.

I looked to Alice again and shook my head before saying in a low voice. "You have nothing to worry about."

Except that's not true, is it? She crossed her arms. Your future with Bella has been hazy all summer. Like you're trying to make a decision. What aren't you telling me?

I had been very careful about not solidifying my choice to leave Bella. I still didn't even know if I could bring myself to actually do it, when the time came. I'd been keeping the mindset that I'd be leaving — to help me make the choice, I supposed — but no solid decision had been made.

"Not now, Alice. I have to go."

I moved past her and to the door, but she gracefully danced in front me, blocking my way. Her brow raised accusingly.

How does Bella feel about this other girl?

The fact that Alice wasn't even willing to say her name showed me how displeased she was with the whole thing.

I couldn't help that my eyes lowered briefly in shame and she, of course, deduced the reason.

"You haven't told her, have you?"

That should tell you something's wrong with this, Edward.

My eyes flashed up at her as my guilt threatened to surface. Was I purposefully concealing this from Bella? I had told myself it was only because I didn't know how to properly explain. Bella was absurdly insecure when it came to my feelings for her. She considered it unbalanced. She had never understood the depth of my devotion.

But I did need to tell her. Somehow. I just wasn't sure how.

"I'll see you later," I told Alice flatly before brushing past her and running to my car. I glanced at the time as I started the engine. I was late. Even driving as fast as possible, Bella would be waiting a solid ten minutes for me. It might even worry her. I'd never been late picking her up from work before.

The thought plagued me. It plagued me because I felt it should bother me more than it did. I felt myself disappointed that I couldn't stay and continue the conversation with my family. I hated leaving things unresolved.

Tonight. Only another few hours. Tonight I'd get the chance to set them straight.

As I was pulling into the lot of Newton's, Vitalia's Melody sprang to mind again and all the uplifting feelings it had pulled from me. It felt so distant now.

I needed a name for it. What would suit?

Allegro di Vitalia. An Allegro carried a brisk, lively sound. Vitalia's Allegro.

A smile found its way across my face before a sigh escaped me as I parked and saw Bella sitting on the front steps of the store.

I shouldn't have made her wait.

But as I got out of the car, I saw that she wasn't alone. Jacob Black was sitting with her on the steps. The pair were caught up in a conversation. She was even laughing. I felt better now that I knew she hadn't been waiting alone, but something about the scene tugged at me. Perhaps it was the ease in which she conversed with him, or perhaps it was the way he gazed at her.

"Hello," I announced myself.

"Edward!" Bella grinned as she spun around to look at me. "Hey. I didn't see you drive up."

"Sorry I'm late," I told her apologetically. "I was dealing with something at home." I then looked past her to nod at the Black boy. "Jacob."

"Hey, Edward." He stood and dusted off his pants before returning the nod. "I was just telling Bella that me and some of the other guys on the reservation are planning to throw a bonfire at the edge of town this weekend. Got her dad's permission and everything. Sort of an end of summer thing."

"I see. Are you wanting to go?" I looked to Bella.

She nodded. "Yeah, it sounds fun."

I thought it over briefly. Of course Bella should go, but I wasn't liked among some of the reservation kids. I wondered if it would be wise to show up.

"Hey, and don't worry about your reputation with the others." Jacob said, seeming to guess at my thoughts. It reminded me a little of Vitalia, how he'd done it so effortlessly. "They start complaining, they'll have me to deal with."

I smiled slightly at him, grateful for the encouragement. "Alright then. I suppose I can make an appearance."

"Cool." He half-smirked then lifted a hand in a wave. "I'll see you two this weekend then."

"Bye, Jake." Bella returned the wave then looked up at me with a little smile. "Guess we'd better head to my house. I still have to get Charlie's dinner ready."

I nodded and returned her smile before reaching for her hand and guiding her toward the car. I so loved her sense of responsibility. Her selflessness. She was always thinking of others before her self.

As I got behind the wheel and we drove at the pace she was comfortable with, I didn't let it frustrate me. I instead enjoyed the ride.

Even if it were remotely possible that another girl could compete with my affections, I couldn't see how Vitalia could be the type. She was all wrong for me. The very things that had drawn me to Bella were not qualities Vitalia possessed.

She had an alluring energy and she had a dynamic personality that I wanted to explore, but those things didn't make her suitable for me. They weren't admirable, good traits.

If my family was in any way thinking otherwise, they were they were insane.