Earthshine

Chapter IX

"Marble Tombstone"

…

"Some dreams are of what we know though we may not know we know it."

-Ursula K. Le Guin

…

[Vitalia]

Me and my folks spent the morning packing up the camp and loading it into the trailer we hitched to our Camaro. I had to give my eyes a roll though when I saw Eddy had tossed the jacket I gave him onto the seat. Of course he had. Mr. No-Risk-Taker. But he was dealing with a lot, so I figured I could let it slide.

Me and my parents drank heaps of coffee, roasting the beans over our little fire and eating some protein bars for breakfast. It wasn't the most filling, but Papa Bear promised we'd hit up a diner after checking into our hotel.

"Are we ready?" My mom asked as she put out the fire and draped her tote bag over her shoulder.

"As we'll ever be." Daddy slapped his hands down on his knees then stood to kiss my mom.

I looked away, giving them a moment, and my eyes fell on the spot where Eddy and I sat last night. I smiled to myself, thinking of the hug. I hadn't been sure he'd return it, but I'd felt so happy when he had! It was nice to be able to give him that. I could tell it helped.

He seemed to go to such sad, depressing places. I felt a crazy strange urge to pull him back from that, if I could. Somehow.

I couldn't understand the reason for his sadness though. He said he was in love with Bella and his family was also wonderful, so what was with the haunted look he always carried in his eyes?

Maybe some past trauma?

I sighed and my attention returned to my parents as they waved me to the car.

After hopping in, I popped in my headphones and scrolled through my little iPod before selecting a Fleetwood Mac track. I leaned my head against the window and watched the wild scenery start to change as we drove down the mountain.

The lyrics ran through my mind and I mouthed them quietly to myself.

"Her face says freedom With a little fear. I have no fear Have only love."

I drummed my hands over my knee and bobbed my head.

"Lightning strikes Maybe once, maybe twice And it all comes down to you I still see your bright eyes, bright eyes And it all comes down to you."

Bright eyes. Like Eddy's eyes. I really did like their intensity. It wasn't just the color that made them so shiny. It was all that fierceness. I could tell that everything he felt, he felt very strongly. It was cool. I liked that reckless way he had about him.

It was going to be weird to head back home in a few weeks. To leave all this behind me. To say goodbye to that boy. I didn't like the thought of it, but I pushed it away for now.

That would be then, but this was now. I needed to focus on what was right in front of me.

Like making a good impression on Bella. I really couldn't wait to meet her! I was assuming she'd be pretty neat. Edward really talked her up so my expectations were amped.

I watched as my parents held hands across the seats, my mother's other hand waving animatedly as she spoke. I watched my father laugh, his grin reaching his eyes and creasing them at the corners. I didn't know what they were saying and that was fine. They seemed lost in whatever the conversation was about. I didn't think they ever got bored talking to each other. They discussed anything and everything.

Looking up at the sky, I squinted. It was hard to tell if there were signs of the coming storm. It was always so cloudy here. I guessed it was more windy and it felt chillier. The drop in temperature would be perfect for the bonfire though.

We rolled into town within the hour and I watched a logger truck go by before we continued down the sparse street to where out hotel — correction, motel — sat. I stared up at the sign as we pulled in. It was literally called Forks Motel. I liked it. It had a classic red neon sign reading "Vacancy" and one saying "Office" with an arrow. There were lots of trees around it and some tribal looking statues. It was a faded red and beige, two-story building. It was picturesque.

Dad pulled in front of the door and hopped out to check us in while mom and I waited in the car. I paused my music and took my earbuds out before securing them both in my Happy Bunny backpack.

"It'll be nice to stay indoors for a change," my mom glanced back with a smile. "Soft beds. Hot showers!"

"I mean, that's true." I nodded. I loved the outdoors, but those comforts were hard to pass up. I liked the idea of holing up for a storm too. Seemed so cozy.

A few minutes later dad came jogging out to the car. "All set!" He held up a pair of key cards then drove us around to the back of the building. He parked and pointed up the stairs. "We're on the second level. Room 208."

"Cool!" I liked that we'd be upstairs. We'd be able to hear the rain on the roof better.

I helped my parents unload our bags and we all walked up together. My dad opened the door and I saw two full beds and a little couch. They all faced a TV. It looked like a pretty standard motel room. The place had that clean, bleachy chlorine smell.

Throwing my bags down, I hopped onto the bed nearest the window and grinned widely as I felt the wave of comfort. I closed my eyes and took it in. There was nothing like going without something to make you appreciate having it back again.

"Want to grab a bite, kiddo?" My dad playfully slapped my booted foot.

My eyes shot open and I sat up with an eager nod. "You bet!"

"Great. When your mom gets out of the bathroom we can head over. There's a homestyle diner across the street."

I nodded then grabbed my phone and slipped it into my pocket before also reaching for a zip up hoodie and my toiletry bag. I walked over to the mirror above the sink across the room and pulled the elastic band out of my hair before shaking it free. I smiled at the blue strand on one side as I ran my fingers down it. I loved that its vibrancy was holding up.

I turned my head from side to side and observed my reflection. I didn't usually stop to think about how I looked, it didn't matter to me very much, but now that I was I paused to wonder how I came across to others. I didn't think I was exactly beautiful or gorgeous-looking. Maybe not even pretty. Solidly "cute" I thought. That seemed a good category for me.

I also noticed that I was looking a little tired from our early morning, so I decided to apply a little eyeliner and some lip gloss. It was a smores scented one and after smacking my lips, I smiled as the smoky sweet scent reached my nose. Lip gloss was fun. There was such a variety of flavors. Most of what makeup I had was a vast collection of different glosses. I couldn't resist new and unique scented ones.

My mom stepped out and washed her hands before smiling and smoothing a hand over my hair. "So pretty," she indicated my eyes.

I smirked at her and gave my head a little shake. She probably meant my line work, but I was sure she also meant the color and look of them. They were her favorite feature of my dad's so I felt they were her favorite of mine too.

"Ready, ladies?" Dad asked from across the room.

We both nodded and moved to join him. My mother grasped my hand and we followed him down the stairs and to the parking lot. There was a foggy, misty drizzle now.

"You think this'll ruin the bonfire plan?" Dad asked.

I shrugged. "We'll see." I hoped not. I was really looking forward to it.

We paused and waited for a couple of cars to pass before running across the street to the diner.

The In Place, it was called. I liked the name.

When we walked in, I saw it had similar decorations as the motel. There was a tribal statue in one corner and a wood-carved eagle wearing a baseball hat near the door. I mentally named him Edgar. Edgar the Eagle.

My mom spoke with the hostess and my dad walked over and slung an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. He kissed the top of my head then the three of us walked over to sit at a booth by the window. I could see our motel through the rain-sprinkled glass and I smiled and pressed my hand to the smooth surface, watching the moving, liquid shapes that were being reflected onto my skin.

"Three coffees." Dad held up three fingers when the waitress asked what she could get us.

"And an orange juice!" I looked away from the window and smiled up at the middle-aged woman.

"You got it, dear." She returned the smile kindly and walked away.

I looked down at the menu and scanned the items. I pursed my lips and tapped my fingers as I read.

"Whatcha thinkin'?" Dad asked.

"Pancakes and bacon is sounding pretty good to me."

"Wise choice. How about you?" He nudged Mom's shoulder.

She blushed at his attention. "Potato and ham omelet."

"Mmm. I'm probably gonna go with a meat and egg plate."

"Tasty." I chipped in before settling back in my seat and burying my hands in my hoodie sleeves. An easy smile crossed my face as I gazed around the room.

"So how was your outing with Edward?" My dad asked.

My eyes shifted back to the man and I saw my mom had also looked his way.

"It was a lot of fun." I nodded. "We just walked around town for awhile then he took me for a short drive. Found out he does not like country music."

"Argh!" my father grimaced and held a hand over his chest teasingly.

Mom gave his shoulder a little swat and shook her head. "It's not for everyone. He isn't even from the South."

"I know." He smiled at her then looked at me again. His eyes took a little more of a serious edge. "Is there anything more going on there? With you and him?"

"Oh, he's-" my mom started to explain before she stopped herself and indicated that I should continue.

I chuckled at her before explaining. "No, he's with someone. And it seems pretty serious. Besides, even if he wasn't, I'm not looking for that right now. We're just friends."

He nodded and fiddled with the ketchup bottle. "I guess that's just as well, since we're heading back in a few weeks. Don't want to see you getting hurt again, sugar bear."

I swallowed down the ache, shame and anger that always came with the thought of Derrick. I nodded at my dad then went back to staring around the room.

The waitress came back with our coffees and my mom gave her our food order. We didn't have to wait too long for it to come out and, when it did, I inhaled the delightful scent of breakfast. I drizzled a generous amount of maple syrup over the fluffy flapjacks before digging in.

I took a large bite and grinned. It was bliss!

As I continued to eat, I noticed the same nice-seeming cop from the little coffee place walk in. Someone was with him this time. A girl around my age.

He must have a daughter, I thought with a little smile. It helped soften me to him even more.

The hostess brought them to the booth behind ours and, as they passed, I caught the dark eyes of the girl. She quickly looked down at her feet though and tripped on the edge of the booth. Her dad caught her before she fell and steadied her as she sat.

"Those left feet of yours." I heard him mumble.

"Alright, Charlie," she answered, sounding embarrassed.

Oh. So maybe I was wrong? She wasn't his daughter?

They were quiet after that and I shrugged. Oh well. Guess that was a mystery I wouldn't solve.

"So how do you feel about renting some movies? And some board games?"

"That sounds awesome, daddy." I beamed at him.

"We'll have to go by the store too and stock up on a few things," my mom added.

I watched as she pulled a notepad and pen from her purse. She started to scribble a list. Me and Dad gave some suggestions as she went along.

The waitress cleared our plates away and I stretched in my seat. Looking out the window, I was glad to see the drizzling had stopped. I hoped the clear conditions would hold up until after the party.

I glanced to my polish again and smiled, wriggling my fingers. The gold glinted in the warm light like honey.

"Be careful tonight," I heard the soft voice of the cop behind me say. I could barely even hear him his voice was so soft. "If things get out of hand, come straight home."

"Okay, yeah. But like I said, you don't have to worry."

I wondered what they were talking about. Maybe this girl was going to the bonfire too? But there were probably a hundred other things the guy could be referring to.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom. Be right back." The girl said before she got up from her booth. As she stepped past me though, something fell off her seat. A paper clipped stack of papers.

I automatically reached down to grab it for her. "Here, I got it!"

I couldn't help glancing at the header. It was a college application to Brown University. Dang. This girl was probably pretty smart. I looked up and held it out to her with a friendly smile.

She looked at me and I could tell she was feeling kind of uncomfortable. She reached out to take the application from me. "Thanks." A little smile crossed her face.

"No problem." I shrugged and lifted my hand in a wave.

She returned it with a crease of her brows before setting the application on her table and heading over to the other side of the room.

She seemed shy. But also kind of nice. I hoped I would be seeing her at the bonfire later. I could totally see myself talking to her.

"M'kay, ready to go, kiddo?" My dad asked a few minutes later.

I nodded and slid out of the booth. I watched as he placed a crisp ten dollar tip beneath the ketchup bottle before nodding to the cop in the other booth. Charlie the cop returned the nod then went back to looking over a newspaper.

"Whoa!" I quickly sidestepped as the dark-eyed girl walked back from the bathroom, nearly slamming into me

She looked up, alarmed, her eyes wide as she held up her hands. She came to a quick stop. "Uhm, wow, I am so sorry." She shook her head. "I wasn't watching where I was going."

"No worries," I told her. I gave her my most convincing it's-all-good smiles. "Have a great day!"

"Thanks, you too." The girl lifted a hand to scratch her forehead before slowly moving away from us and back to her booth.

I briefly considered walking over and asking her if she'd be interested in the bonfire but then decided not to. I didn't want her to feel pressured or anything. Besides, she didn't know me and I knew it could be hard for shy people to feel comfortable with strangers.

I walked outside and threw out my arms, doing some twirls around the parking lot. My feet slid through the puddles, cool splashes arcing around me. I leaned back my head and looked up at the gray, sunless sky, smiling widely. I took a long breath before lowering my arms and turning to follow after my parents.

When we got back to the room, we decided to take some down time before heading to the store. I crawled into bed and wrapped the large comforter around myself before checking my phone.

I'd received a new message. I opened it and saw it was from Eddy.

Edward: Did you make it into town safely?

I smiled and keyed a response.

Vitalia: Yep! Just got some food and now I'm resting up for the party. So excited!

Edward: Ha. I can tell.

Vitalia: (: How's your day been? You doing ok?

Edward: I'm doing a little better, thank you for asking. My day has been alright. About to leave for an afternoon hike.

Vitalia: ooh, sounds fun. Careful of the bears!

Edward: Naturally.

I let the conversation end there and snapped my phone shut. He had a full day ahead of him, didn't he? A hike and then the bonfire. Seemed fun though. I guessed he liked to spend a lot of time in the woods.

I decided to take a nap though. All my late nights were catching up to me. I dozed off to the sound of a sitcom my parents were watching on TV.

In my weird, midday nap haze, I dreamed about Eddy. And it was strange. And a little creepy. I was walking around in a graveyard and trailing a hand along the rough gravestones. It was on old place, all crumbling and falling apart with a rusty iron fence and skeletal trees. Dead leaves crunched under my feet and the air was very cold. The full moon was shining down on a marble tombstone up ahead and I approached it curiously, wondering why it was the only one in the place that didn't look like it was falling apart.

I read the name: Edward Cullen.

What? It made me feel so confused. Edward was dead? But I'd seen him yesterday! I'd just spoken to him a minute ago.

I looked down to the open grave where a smooth, wooden coffin rested. I knelt beside it and saw there was a purple flower on the lid, like the one he'd drawn in chalk the other day.

I moved the flower then leaned down to open the casket. I wanted to take a look inside.

When I did, I felt my eyes go wide. There, lying still and stiff, was Edward's corpse. He was pale and, as I touched him, very cold. But weirdly I realized those things weren't so different. He was always cold. Always pale. I looked to his closed eyes, wondering if they'd open. I waited for a long time, certain that he would open them. That his eyes would still be alive somehow…

When I finally sat back and moved my gaze away, it fell on the discarded flower and I saw that it had changed. It wasn't the purple one anymore but that white star flower I'd found after our race. I picked it up and held it in my hand. I wondered what it meant. Why it had changed.

My eyes lifted, searching for Eddy's golden gaze again before I felt myself beginning to shake.

And it wasn't just me. The whole scene around me was shaking. Why was it shaking? Everything started to disappear.

"Vi!" Someone called. " Vi?"

I woke with a jolt, sucking in a breath before glancing behind me, startled.

"Whoa!" My dad grinned and smoothed my bangs across my forehead. "You were sleeping pretty hard there. I kind of hated to wake you."

"Oh!" I gripped my blanket and blinked my eyes, taking in the familiar room. Right. I'd fallen asleep. I had been shaking because Dad had been trying to wake me. That whole weird scene was just a dream.

I had been texting Edward before falling asleep so it made sense why I'd dreamt of him. I didn't know why it had been so… nightmarish though. I couldn't shake the image of Eddy lying in a coffin. There was something that fell oddly into place about it, but that was something I couldn't even begin to explain. Was it because I'd been wondering about past trauma? Was there a death connected to him? Had he lost someone important?

I shook my head and tried to clear my brain before looking at my dad again. "What time is it?"

"After six. Figured you needed to get up for your thing."

He smirked gently and I returned it before sitting up and sliding out of bed. "Thanks, dad. I'm gonna get ready and head out."

"Sounds good. Your mom took the car to get those groceries, so you mind walkin'?"

"Nope!" I spun on my heel then went about choosing an outfit for this thing. I wasn't sure what I wanted to go with though.

I ultimately decided on some distressed jeans and a plaid hooded button up. It was a blue plaid so the bright cerulean really made my eyes pop. I reapplied my smores lip gloss then laced on my brown combat boots.

"All set!" I told Dad.

"Alright, well let me know if you need anything. Have fun!"

He extended an arm and I rushed over to throw my arms around his waist. I loved his hugs. I couldn't imagine a safer place in the world to be.

"See you later, daddy!" I gave his cheek a quick kiss then bounced out of the room. I ran down the stairs, the railing slick and spotted with drops of rain that hadn't dried yet.

I looked up at the sky. It was still heavy with clouds but they were keeping the rain to themselves for now. That was good.

Heading in the direction of Newton's, I wondered if they would have any food. It could go either way with bonfires. I decided to slip into a convenience store real quick and get something in case. I waved to the older man at the counter. He smiled and waved back.

I grabbed some of the hot burritos they had warming under the heat thing and a bag of Cheetos. I also grabbed a pack of skittles and a cold can of Cream Soda. As I picked it up, the shiny aluminum caught the light above and I noticed it almost matched the color of my nails. That warm gold. I kind of shook off the thought of Eddy's closed eyes though.

I usually wasn't freaked out by my dreams, but I really couldn't get this one out of my head. Maybe I'd feel better after seeing him and finally seeing his eyes — they'd be open and they'd be very much not dead.

I put my haul down on the counter and my attention strayed to the packs of cigarettes behind the counter. I was completely out. I drummed my fingers and heard Eddy's voice in my head.

"Don't rush out and invite its hazards. There's a difference between thriving in spite of danger and thriving because of it."

I rolled my eyes. I had said I'd think about his advice. I had to admit that he had a point too. I didn't have to be completely reckless. I wanted to have plenty of life to enjoy living.

Besides, I didn't feel like being lectured by my parents again. After they'd picked me up from the clinic Eddy's dad worked at, they had smelled the smoke on me. My mom had given me a whole earful about it and my dad had gotten into one of his rare serious modes. They'd made me throw them out.

It probably wasn't worth the trouble. I only ever did it casually so it was still easy for me to resist the things. I didn't want to become addicted.

I sighed then looked up at the salesman as he rang up my items.

"How's your day goin' so far?" I quickly read his name tag then added. "Clive?"

"Oh pretty good, pretty good." The old man nodded. He looked up and smiled. "Yours? Any big plans?"

"Yep! Bonfire with some local kids. I'm not from here. Just touristing. But a friend of mine will be there."

"Oh yes." He hummed. "I've heard there'll be a get together. Out behind Newton's, near the forest border. Bunch of youngsters have been in and out gathering supplies."

"Ooh! Nice. I wasn't sure if they would have any food, so I decided to grabs some things."

"The essentials," he chuckled and held up the Skittles.

I laughed. "Exactly."

This man had a fun twinkle in his eyes. I liked when the elderly got a childlike streak. That's the sort of old person I wanted to be.

I paid him then he held the bag out to me, telling me to have fun. I assured him I would then made my way out. As I approached the Outfitter's, I passed it up and continued to where I thought the town's edge might be.

When I ventured off the the main road, I saw some other kids going the same direction so I decided to follow them. Seemed promising.

Turned out my intuition was right as we came to a clearing right where the thick of trees started. A giant stack of logs sat there, waiting to be lit. People had parked their cars around it and someone had their stereo blasting, playing some sort of pop music. Best of all, over on a folding table, there were plenty of pizza boxes and some coolers of drinks.

There weren't too many other people here yet, but the sky had only just started getting dusky. There was still time 'til it got dark. I saw some kids hanging by the stereo car and I decided to walk over and introduce myself to them.

When they saw me coming, they kind of gave me some unsure looks, but I tried to put them at ease with a smile. "Hey!"

"Uhm, hi. You go to school around here?" One of them asked, a boy who looked maybe a little younger than I was. He had long, beautiful black hair. It was a rare thing to see on a guy.

"Nope. I'm a traveler. I'll be hanging around Forks for the rest of the summer."

"Gotcha. How'd you find out about this little gathering?"

"I made a friend and got an invite. Don't see him here yet though." I let my eyes travel around the clearing.

"Guess that makes sense." The boy answered before he lifted his cup in greeting and smiled. "I'm Jacob, by the way."

"Cool! Nice to meet you." I returned his smile.

He introduced some of the others. They were kids he went to school with apparently. They all lived on a reservation, which I thought was awesome. Sort of explained the whole tribal vibe around town too.

As we were talking, the group I'd followed here strolled over. They introduced themselves as Angela, Eric, Mike and Jessica. They seemed pretty friendly.

"Homeschooled, huh?" Jessica asked. "What's that like? I mean, do you even get to socialize much? I've heard a lot of homeschoolers struggle with that. I've heard it can be hard for them to be…you know, normal."

I shrugged. "Maybe some struggle. Hasn't ever been a problem for me. I guess I just have to make more of an effort but I love hanging with people and talking to whoever." I smirked. "And I dunno about the normal thing. I always thought I was a little weird, so you might be right."

She blinked and I couldn't tell why she seemed so surprised.

"Ah, normal's overrated," Jacob jumped in.

Jessica made a face at him and Mike laughed. Angela just smiled at me. She seemed shy. Like that girl from this morning. She was holding hands with Eric and I thought they seemed like a sweet couple.

"Hop on up!" Jacob offered and I grinned before climbing onto the hood of the car and putting my bag beside me. I dug out my soda and popped the top before taking a sip of the syrupy sweet vanilla.

I spent some time just talking with everyone, learning some things about them while they asked about where I was from. I are some pizza and watched as they started to light the fire. When the sparks erupted into a blaze I grinned and hopped down to watch. A lot more people started to arrive but there still wasn't any sign of Eddy and Bella. I hoped they were still coming.

"Okay, let's turn it up, everyone!" Jacob shouted as he increased the music volume and urged people to start dancing.