Sky didn't go to school for a week.
The first couple of days she barely left her room. Her bed was her safe haven, the heavy drapes shielded her from the world, but they did little to block out her inner demons. Awake or asleep, she could hear the waters of River Styx at the edge of her consciousness, the calling of the rapids and shallows and she knew it would take weeks, months, maybe a lifetime to silence the whispering of the other side.
Not to hear the calling of the dark waters, she listened to music 24/7. Too much Lana del Rey and Taylor Swift, Sia, and Mirel Wagner. Too many heart-breaking songs that did nothing to make her feel better, but at least they drowned the voices she didn't dare to face.
Dad moved the mattress back into her room and kept an eye on her around the clock. They ordered food in and watched Star Trek and Babylon 5 side by side on the living room couch, drinking coffee and hot chocolate off huge mugs until it was 2 am and Dad forced Sky to try and get some sleep.
But she couldn't sleep. She lay awake in her bed, staring at the canopy, listening to Dad's breathing and other sounds of the night - a dog barking somewhere far away, a bird crying with a weird, haunting voice, an ambulance on the highway miles away from her home, the soft whispering of the black river. It was during the nights that she thought about Hawk. She thought about his smile, the way it lingered on his lips when he looked at her. She thought about his hands, his hot, calloused palms, his long, slender fingers, the way he slowly slid his hands down her back when they kissed. She thought about his arms around her, the warmth of his body against her own, how safe he made her feel. And thinking about all that made her cry, so she cried alone as silently as she could, soaking the pillowcase with her tears until Dad heard and woke up.
He would read a book to her on those nights. The Wizard of Earthsea, The Lord of The Rings, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ronia the Robber's Daughter - any random book he picked from her bookshelf, that was so familiar to Sky that listening to it made her fall into a river of memories that had nothing to do with Hawk so that finally she could fall asleep for a couple of restless hours.
The days were as bad as the nights.
Waking up to a new morning felt like a slap on the face, and Sky wanted nothing but oblivion, nothing but to stay under the sheets all day crying and listening to songs that made her cry even more, but apparently, Dad thought enough was enough. After three days, Saturday morning, he walked into Sky's room and announced she had a visitor.
"I don't wanna see anyone," Sky muttered, burying her face into the pillow that was wet and sticky with her tears.
"Too bad," Dad stated firmly. "Your friend is here to see you and I'm not sending him home. It's time to start living again."
Sky groaned and sat up, running a hand through her hair. She hadn't washed it in three days and it was gross, nearly as gross as her pajamas. She knew she was in desperate need of a shower and was just about to say so when Dad pushed the door of her room fully open, and Demetri walked in, carrying something huge in his arms.
"Howdy," Demetri greeted awkwardly. "Where can I put this?"
Sky frowned. "Depends. What the fuck is that?"
"This–" Demetri said, and not waiting for permission he placed the thing down on the floor next to Dad's mattress. "-is our science presentation. "When Mrs. Darrell found out it… got broken, she gave us an extra week to fix it. A week, of which three days have already passed, if you don't mind me saying, so we are on a bit of a schedule here."
The science presentation.
Suddenly a memory of Hawk laughing as he stood in the middle of the destruction holding his soccer ball in his hands, hit Sky again like a dagger in the heart. The pain made her eyes tear up, it took her breath away.
"I never want to see that cursed thing again."
"Well, I can't fix it alone," Demetri replied cheerfully. If he noticed Sky's tears he didn't let it show. "And Yasmine said she'd only help if you agreed too, so–"
"For heaven's sake," Sky groaned. "You're going to drag Yasmine here too?"
"Well, not today, obviously. But tomorrow? I did promise her an A. Besides, she's been really worried about you. She said you haven't replied to her texts. Actually, Sam and Moon said the same thing…" Demetri's voice trailed off.
Sky let out a sigh, feeling the guilt heavily on her chest. She knew she'd gotten a thousand texts and almost as many calls but she hadn't taken any of them or written back. What was there to say? The worrying of her friends only made her feel like shit, as if she wasn't feeling guilty enough already after the stupid knife stunt and the pain it had caused Dad to find her like that.
"You should tell her I had the stomach flu," Sky replied. "No need for her to know I'm fucking suicidal again."
"Might be too late for that," Demetri looked awkward, he ran a hand through his dark hair as he glanced at Sky. "I think Yas already knows what happened. Sam and Moon were pretty freaked out, you know–"
But of course. Of course, everyone was talking about that. Sky could only guess what they said, though, now that no one knew about the knife, the floor, the whispering of River Styx. She brought a hand to her neck, where the small cut was under a pink, Hello-Kitty band-aid, a sharp reminder of the thing she had almost done. Demetri's dark eyes followed her hand, and his brows arched as he noticed the band-aid.
Sky let her hand drop.
"It doesn't matter," she sighed. "I don't really care what people think. Let me see that science presentation."
Gathering himself, Demetri pulled off the sheet that had been covering the lego structure and revealed what was left of it. "I know it's in pretty bad shape, but let me assure you, it's not as bad as I first thought."
"What are you talking about? It's fucking demolished."
"Yes, but–" Demetri knelt on the floor next to the Lego and pointed at the structure. "- the base is practically intact, see? It's just the volcano that was completely shattered, and you know what they say about the Legos? The best thing about them is that you can always fix what's broken. I managed to get all the pieces back, plus I have the plans we made, so it shouldn't be that hard to build it again."
He looked so hopeful, kneeling there next to the science project, looking up at Sky with his brown puppy eyes, and suddenly Sky realized this isn't really about the project, that Demetri could have easily written an essay or done something else to make up for the lost presentation - this was about so much more. This was Demetri offering to save Sky's life once again.
Sky felt like the most worthless piece of shit. She knew she didn't deserve his relentless kindness, but she was alone, she was drowning in the dark river, and it wasn't Kat offering a hand to pull her up, it was Demetri, even if he should've just let her drown.
"You— you wanna start right away?" Sky asked, brushing the sudden tears off her cheeks.
Demetri's eyes widened as if he hadn't really expected a yes for an answer. "Yes, absolutely Yes! I brought all the pieces and the plans, they are downstairs, I couldn't really carry them all here with my hands full of this thing—"
"Demetri," Sky interrupted him, a ghost of a smile touching her lips.
"What?"
"Stop blabbering. Go and get the stuff while I take a shower. I bet I stink like the sewer."
"Maybe a good idea. I wasn't going to say anything, but—"
Sky let out a snort and threw a pillow at Demetri, but he managed to catch it in the air and save the Lego structure from further damage.
"You're an idiot," she muttered as she got out of bed and dragged her feet into the bathroom. She didn't stay to listen to Demetri's counterargument, but just turned on the shower and started getting undressed.
After the shower and changing into a fresh set of comfy sweats and a hoodie, Sky felt marginally better. While she had been in the bathroom, Dad had helped Demetri to carry all the Legos and some snacks to her room. There were sandwiches and soda, and as Sky sat down on the mat next to Demetri, she realized she was hungry - for the first time in days.
She picked up a sandwich - ham and cheese - and started eating, while Demetri went through the plans, explaining to Sky what parts they needed to rebuild and in which order. Sky only listened with one ear, too tired to really pay attention, too hungry to care about anything but the food. Demetri would be in charge anyways, he wouldn't let Sky place one brick without making sure it was going into the right place. Instead, Sky busied herself with organizing the bricks by color and shape so that it would be easy for Demetri to find the pieces he was looking for.
"So, how are you holding up, really?" Demetri asked after a while, not looking up from the Legos.
"Well, I didn't end up in the hospital this time, which is an improvement, I guess."
Demetri glanced at her neck. Sky had removed the band-aid in the shower since the cut wasn't bleeding anymore, but it was still visible on the side of her neck, right under her ear. The wound hadn't been deep, but as the knife had been so sharp the cut had bled a lot more than Sky had realized at the moment and it probably would leave a scar.
"You really scared us, you know." Demetri said. It wasn't an accusation, but it still felt like one.
"I know. I'm sorry."
She fidgeted with a green Lego brick for a while, forgetting where it was supposed to go, even if Demetri had told her it multiple times already.
"No, I'm sorry." Demetri spoke after a short, awkward silence. "I feel responsible for what happened. Eli's been picking a fight with me since last summer. It's me he wanted to hurt, not you. I… I don't think he would have broken this thing had he known it was yours too."
"What, are you defending him?" Sky breathed.
"No. I'm just saying he was really upset when he realized what he had done."
Sky knew it was true, she had known it even before Demetri had said anything. She remembered the way Hawk's eyes had widened when he had realized the truth, how the soccer ball slipped from his fingers. She blamed herself bitterly for not telling Hawk the whole truth about her schoolwork with Demetri. At the time it had felt easier just to say they were studying together than to go into details. Hawk hadn't wanted to hear anything about Demetri, he had always been so fucking cranky when Sky had told she was seeing Demetri instead of him—
So she had said as little as possible. And thus she had screwed them all.
"It wasn't just the project," Sky said after a short silence, giving up on the green brick, picking up a hadrosaur egg instead and placing it back into the nest. "It was the other stuff too."
"You mean the stuff I told you about?" Demetri asked. "The things I overheard him talking to his friends?"
"Yeah," Sky shrugged. "He just… started to act more and more like Matt, so…"
Demetri let out a sigh and leaned his elbows to his knees. "I can't help thinking that I brought this on you. Had I not said anything to you, Eli wouldn't have destroyed the project and the two of you would still be together."
"Don't be an idiot, Demetri," Sky sighed. "It's better to know the truth, no matter how much the said truth sucks. I should have trusted you in the beginning when you said it was a mistake to get back together with him. I mean, everyone told me it was a bad idea and I just—"
"You shouldn't blame yourself. You couldn't have known."
But Sky did blame herself. She was so stupid, a fool, blinded by love. Now her heart was shattered into pieces, and it wasn't as easily fixed as a Lego. The tears started running again, unwanted and unwarned, salty and bitter.
"I… I just loved him." she breathed. "I loved him so much."
"I know. I loved him too—" Demetri paused and shrugged awkwardly. "In a very different, completely unsexual way, but you know—"
"I know," Sky replied, wiping her cheeks. "Your Binary Brother. He was easy to love."
"He really was. Until—"
"-until he wasn't." Sky finished Demetri's sentence. "Until he turned into a complete asshole."
For once, Demetri didn't have anything to add.