So much for keeping it together.
Mai had been resilient for the week but now, when she confronted Geese about Maria, she was now the one sitting here, with tears running in endless streams down her face and finding comfort in someone, she never knew could relate to her so well. Asshole that he could be, Geese was equally good at soothing her. She shouldn't enjoy his touches as she did now, but they were quite consoling. He related and she had a modicum of understanding that had exploded into affinity.
Mai was evermore thankful that the car had those privacy settings as her wailing would be horribly awkward while Billy and Moira talked about egg dish recipes. Not to mention them watching what was happening. Before long, Geese had unplugged her seatbelt and pulled her closer to him as she just sat there and let the tears flow freely. Being pressed against his warm body with his arms around her was like a shield that protected her from something painful, she couldn't describe.
Had Mai been more stable, she would have told him that they could get a ticket for this, but she wondered if it would be necessary as she looked at the car's windows. Black folds had been pulled over the glass, hiding them completely within the vehicle. Light from the ceiling began to glow like a starry sky. It truly felt as if the world itself had ceased to exist and all that remained was the backseat of this car.
They sat in silence for a few moments more, while Mai slowly began to pick up pieces of her fragile emotions. She had since stopped crying and her mind pondering over how sitting here snuggled against the chest of a man, probably twice as old as her, felt so inhumanly good. Geese had, for all intents and purposes, been at the right spot at the right time.
It was as if he had known what to do in order to make Mai come to him like a kitten. He probably didn't intend for it to happen, however; he seemed genuinely sucker-punched at being confronted about Maria. It wasn't Mai's intention to do it with such a lack of grace. Or do it at all. It just came to her, and she blurted it out. In the end, it had worked fine however as Mai gained more insight into Geese as a person.
A sense of relief washed over her when Maria just happened to be his dead mother and not a bitter wife or lover since she wasn't mentioned or seen. No picture of any women in the estate, which would suggest something bad. Mai could just imagine the drama of having to explain her relationship with Geese to a woman ready to burn the tower down or something. But to think that he had such vulnerabilities was fascinating. It humanized him.
Looking up at him, she searched his face for his expression, watching how his lips curled into a musing smirk.
"I've been a lot of things in life but never the shoulder for a girl to cry on. I guess there's a first for everything," he said, letting his hands rest on her shoulders, firm, warm, and assuring. Mai's heart began to race, and she couldn't tell if she was still reeling from her earlier cry spell. And yet, she wasn't too keen on letting him go, almost wishing the drive back to the tower would never end. It was too much; the rush of feelings caused her cheeks to flush.
"Mm-hm," Mai murmured, her cheeks red and warm from emotion. Just a little longer, she'd like to think but this wasn't the best idea. Slowly she pulled back with her heart still racing behind her chest and the scent of cologne still lingering in her nostrils. Geese fiddled with the controls of the car's various functions and Mai could hear Moira and Billy again as the daylight poured into the back of the car.
The three of them engaged in an easygoing conversation with Geese being a bit smug and prideful as usual while Mai sat in silence, still blushing. She used her phone to check herself, displeased at how she looked. Her makeup had been ruined and she had nothing with her to fix it. So, she just wiped it away with the back of her hand so she would look a little less disastrous.
Focusing on something else didn't stop Mai's thoughts from trying to find ways of distracting her with thoughts of Geese and butterflies whipping up a storm in her stomach. In the midst of the conversation, Mai tuned in again, just picking up on a giggle from Moira.
"Oh, yes, very much!" she exclaimed. Billy began gesturing with his hands, about to say something when a bump to the car's rear end thoroughly demolished the easygoing atmosphere. Immediately, Mai turned around and saw a car driving behind them eerily close. It bumped into them again and it became apparent that this was deliberate. Having enough of the bumping, it drove up beside them and sped off. Chasing it, was yet another vehicle.
"Oh, dear!" Moira exclaimed and hit the accelerator, sending the car racing down the street, past the lack of late-morning traffic as the tower and its icon of safety loomed in the distance. Mai tried not to let the panic get to her, taking deep breath after deep breath while she sank into her seat. Gunshots rang out, nearly making her heart fall out of her ass. She grabbed onto the edge of her shirt, fearing another sea of glass shards about to rain over her.
"God-fucking-dammit. Not again," Geese cursed, his brow pinched together furiously. His nostrils flared while he sat and stared at the glove box of the backseat. He looked more than ready to murder everyone outside this car.
"Looks like we got caught up in a fight," Billy pointed out of the window and curiosity got the better of Mai. She shifted to get a better look, seeing young men and women, running down the street with guns waving liberally in the air.
Why was this happening again? Could it be that Mai just happened to have the worst luck in the entire universe? For one, someone wasn't directly targeting them but that didn't change the fact that they were still in danger. Mai swallowed; she knew South Town had its scummy side, but she didn't recall the city being this dangerous. As the gunshots became mere echoes, Mai felt like she could finally breathe again.
She remained crumbled, hugging herself and counting the seconds that passed until they arrived at the tower. Other drivers had been racing away from the scene in the meantime, causing a bit of a slow-moving crush further down the road. The car came to a normal speed again, and Mai sat with the feeling that they were sitting ducks.
Anxiously, she looked at Geese and he wasn't so furious now, just mildly restless with the way his leg bounced while he looked out of the window. For her own sake and maybe for his, Mai put her hand on his jumping knee, and he immediately snapped his eyes to her. Not her hand, just staring directly at her. It was the easiest way to comfort him and pay him back for being such a good shoulder to cry on. Mai had long since given up on the idea of debt and favors, yet she still felt as if she owed Geese some payback for his kindness.
Or had she overstepped?
A deep crimson spread over Mai's face, maybe in shame, or anticipation. She subtly gasped when she felt a hand over hers. Ah, that was one way of saying thank you.
"What a day. You'd almost-" Moira grinned, then abruptly cut off by a gunshot that pierced the glass of the driver's window, spattering blood everywhere. Moira's body slumped forward, with her hand resting on the steering wheel's horn. The car swerved and its wheels screeched while Billy battled with the steering wheel, trying to gain control of the car.
The vehicle careened off the road and straight into the rear end of a parked truck, demolishing the car's entire front. Because she was without a seatbelt, Mai felt the weight of her mistake as she was launched from where she sat, headfirst into the back of the driver's seat. Time felt as if it had outright stopped before anyone became aware of what had happened. A car alarm screeched in Mai's ears as her consciousness faded alongside the pain of an earth-shattering headache. She barely heard the frantic voice calling for her.
When Mai woke up, she was immediately struck with terrible aching from her face. Gingerly she reached up to touch her nose, finding it tender and covered in bandages. Something had gone horribly wrong; for one, she couldn't breathe through her nostrils. More importantly, her surroundings. Slowly, Mai sat up, rubbing her forehead to quell the headache that came to welcome her like that annoying aunt at a Thanksgiving party.
It became instantly apparent that she was not in her hotel room or Geese's estate. Wherever she was, it was much less glamorous. The ceiling was gray and saturated with cobwebs, dusty windows provided a murky view of the outside world, and the smell of musky old age lingered in the air like a dusty old library.
At least libraries were cozy, this was just a crack den.
The room she was in, was tiny yet felt so large with how bare it was. Never mind the single mattress she lay on with its springs poking her through the thin fabric. Present were two wooden chairs and a table with a lamp without its shade.
The biggest question was where was here?
Mai stood up and slowly walked towards the door, catching voices speaking outside behind its wooden surface. She picked up on Billy's voice, speaking with someone on the phone about scheduling issues. Joe? Oh yeah, they had plans tonight.
Mai's hand landed on the handle, about to press down when footsteps hastily stepped against the wooden floor and the door was flung open, nearly hitting her in the face. Mai stumbled backward with her fight or flight responses triggered until she stared directly into a pair of cool blue eyes. Geese stood in front of her, his jaw tight and body visibly tense. He closed the door behind him, muting the sound of Billy's phone call, and shoved his hands down his pockets.
"…You're awake. How do you feel?" Geese asked, more relaxed but far from happy. Mai didn't blame him, considering what had happened.
"Hurt and confused. Kinda thirsty too," she answered honestly, rubbing her arms. "Where are we? Is this some hidden level of the tower?"
"No. We're in a safe house."
"Not a crack house?"
The specter of a smile appeared on Geese's face. "I'm glad your jocularity wasn't knocked out of you."
Knocked? Oh crap. Mai immediately recalled the sight of herself being flung from her seat. Despite the leather fabric, the impact must have been quite hard if it busted her like that. If she had a darker sense of humor, she could have laughed at herself. The blood on her face had dried but she could feel it coagulated on her philtrum.
"We might be here for a few hours while the storm passes. It sucks and it's gross but we're safe. You can wander about until we leave," Geese continued and turned around to leave, opening the door and tapping Billy on the shoulder while he talked to someone about what had occurred.
Together they vanished from the hallway, the floorboards creaking with every step they took. While Geese and Billy were in the midst of doing…whatever the heck this situation pushed them to do, Mai kept to herself and explored the safehouse, finding that it fitted more like an old townhouse instead. The hallways were narrow and cramped, spanning across three floors where Mai happened to be on the uppermost floor.
She made sure not to touch the railing as it was covered in dust. On the second floor, she found a bathroom, that was little more than a boiler room with a toilet, which looked as if Satan himself had been using it and forgot to clean up. There was a second bedroom, where Billy and Geese were. Mai didn't have to open the door to know that; she could hear their discussion just fine. It wasn't heated or an outright argument, but they were clearly displeased.
As Mai stepped away to stop eavesdropping, she swore she heard the name Big thrown in there. However, she wasn't curious enough to stay and listen, opting to explore the rest of the safe house. On the first floor, she found what appeared to be a kitchen, although calling it such was liberal. It was but a sink and an old portable hob. At least the faucet had, clear running water. Searching through the one cabinet for glasses proved fruitless as it stood empty with the occasional cobweb and dead spider.
Immediately, Mai slammed it shut.
On second thought, she could do just fine drinking from her hands directly. Next, it would be a good idea to wash her face clean of dried blood and ruined makeup. The hot tap didn't work but cold water splashed on the face helped with the nagging headache.
The hours seemed to pass by at a snail's pace while Mai returned to her room if she could even call it that. She had found solace in front of the window, staring out the window to watch the day zoom by so agonizingly slow, Mai was certain she'd grow moss before midnight. She had a phone with her, but no charger and it was running out of battery anyway.
The bed smelled funny so sleeping was out of the question. Her memory was vivid of the incident, playing over and over in her mind. And it occurred to her that Moira had been caught up in the mix, shot dead with her brain splattered all over the console of the car.
A thought that made her sick to her stomach.
Through the dirty glass, Mai noted how empty the street was. In the far distance, she could see the tower looming over the rest of the city. She noted old train tracks, covered in weeds. From the looks of things, they were near the deserted train station. Why was it abandoned? Wasn't it due to gang violence? As if a god had listened to her musings, the door to the room went open and creaked to a close.
"Mai," Geese called. He sounded tired and old. It was enough to make her turn her head to look at him and indeed, he looked a bit under the weather. She sat, unsure of what to say to him as he walked closer, now standing next to her. He put his arm against the dirty glass and rested his forehead against his sleeve, indifferent to the dust and cobwebs.
"What do you intend to do when your contract expires?" he asked after a very long pause. Mai stared at him for a moment.
Despite their terrible luck with getting caught up in nonsense, she liked working here. She liked to have something to wake up to in the morning. She enjoyed having a purpose. As the would-hopefully-but-tragically-never-to-be-wife of Andy, a ping of guilt struck her by the thought.
But if she left the tower, she had the feeling that she'd be lost and fall right back into that deep hole, she had slowly been climbing out of without being aware of it. Mai probably wouldn't have Geese's shoulder to cry on either or Billy to annoy. Or Hein to cook her good food. Mai knew it was pointless to ask Andy in spirit for forgiveness because she had fallen in too deep. When the gods came to claim her from this mortal coil, maybe they'd talk about it in the afterlife.
When she thought about it, Mai did want to stay here. These people weren't awful, and they filled something within her. Despite sitting here in a safe house, the tower was a sanctuary, a place where she felt like she could heal and find her way in life again. She'd always love Andy but she needed to live again. Living would be with him in her memories as opposed to him as her moral compass.
"I want to keep working here but I think I'm done sharing a car with you," Mai answered, happy with how Geese's lips curled into a smile again.
"I'd like you to stay here as well but I can't have that because of the bullshit that keeps fucking me on a weekly basis. I can handle the meddling of annoying maggots but…" he paused, then sighed. "These recent attacks. They're not random. They are deliberately trying to kill me and evidently each other. It's part of an ongoing gang war. A coalition with the goal of taking over South Town."
For a moment, Mai sat and pondered over his words, trying to piece together their meaning and implications.
"W-what?" she uttered, in pure horror. People, criminals, had been deliberately targeting Geese. There was a conspiracy to kill him. Mai clenched her fists, suddenly overcome with the fear of losing him. She couldn't handle any more grief in her life, not like this. Not to him.
I'm sorry, Andy. I don't want any more of my friends to die.
Mai stood up and put her hand on Geese's shoulder, surprised to feel him shudder at her touch. For someone who carried himself with such pride and confidence, he appeared so vulnerable now. He was just human after all.
"…I'm not always a good person. I got one foot in the realm of legality and the other in lawlessness. I had hoped not to drag you into something you wouldn't want to be in. That was thoroughly shattered however with us getting shot at twice. Now you know," Geese folded his arms over his chest, indifferent to the layer of dust on the sleeve of his black suit. Mai could only stare at him in wide-eyed disbelief.
She felt as if she had received some sort of whiplash because this felt thoroughly unreal. Her mind raced, desperate for answers, trying to convince herself that this was just a dream. She stood there, waiting for Geese to say that he was just kidding but he just stared at her, hard and unyielding.
"…To be perfectly honest with you, I thought you'd put two and two together by now. Me asking you to meet with Big, the last incident. The fact that I have bodyguards everywhere and a gun in every car I own."
"I thought you were being precautious."
"I am," he answered, calmly but with a glare that was hard and unmerciful. "There's a reason why my reputation would have you believe that I'm just a typical law-abiding peon who struck it big. No criminal record, no connection to the mafia."
He spoke so nonchalantly as if this was just normal. This was not normal! How could he pretend to be so kind, to let her seek comfort in him when he had caused crooks to commit acts of violence with reckless abandon? Mai felt so foolish for thinking that the tower could provide her with a sanctuary. To think she had almost been lulled into working for a criminal. Andy would never forgive her now.
"You almost dragged me to my death. You never even considered telling me this?!" her voice was shrill and brittle.
The look that Geese gave her now was cold enough to freeze over ten lakes on a hot summer's day and she wondered if he was considering killing her for knowing too much. For a moment, Mai almost wished he would so she could escape his clutches and be reunited with Andy. She stepped back, her body tensing with each passing second. It occurred far too late that she was glaring at him like he was a blood-starved beast coming to kill her.
Fear and panic began welling up inside of her as her hands, no, her entire body trembled. The blood pounded in her ears. Her heart drummed in her chest. Her breath caught in her throat, forcing her to hyperventilate. Her vision blurred. It felt as if she was stepping into a deep black hole. Mai had to get away from here. She needed to be gone from Geese. She couldn't stand to look at him. She couldn't stay in the tower anymore, not like this, not ever again. They'd shoot her dead if she did.
"…Why are you telling me this? Is this some fucked up sign of trust?"
"I suppose it is, Mai. You've been open with me so I figured I'd do the same."
Mai's life flashed before her eyes when Geese took a single step towards her and she raised her arms to protect herself.
"This is not transparency! It's not…it's…"
"It's being an asshole. I know," Geese defrosted a bit. His body was stiff, and he looked as uncomfortable as he sounded, almost bittersweet. "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I did it for my mother's sake, you know. Had to find some way to feed us. Once you're deep enough, you can't exactly just leave. I'm not pretending that I hate being down there. I fell so deeply that I'm on top. That's what power gets you."
He looked so…off sharing the information that Mai was surprised that he was smirking. She could imagine it was a defense mechanism. People had lots of those; often smiling or laughing to shield them from uncomfortable situations. Making jokes at their own expense. Self-deprecation. Surprisingly, Geese had referred to himself as an asshole.
Mai let her arms hug her shoulders as she tried to ease the panic and approach this logically, not ethically. Geese had done all of this, for his mother and fell into a deep rabbit hole with slippery walls. Then again, he didn't sound like he hated being at its bottom. All for the sake of power. Maybe it was overcompensation for losing his mother.
Amidst all her anger, distrust, disgust, and fear, Mai felt a moment of sympathy. She didn't want to delude herself into thinking that she could or that it was her job to fix Geese Howard however. He was an old geezer, probably set in his ways.
From a logical, non-ethical point of view, Geese and Mai were just two different people, at two different stages in life, with different values and world views. It was almost terrifying how one could shut off their moral compass and look at things from an outside point of when Mai stood and thought about it.
"…Are you going to kill me?" she murmured.
"No," he shook his head and even though she didn't want to, she believed him. "I promise you no harm will come to you. I don't make promises willy-nilly but you bet I'll do my best to uphold that. Even if you leave."
He had done what he could so far at least, she had to give him that. The idea that such a man like him could acknowledge his own fallacies, be so kind and understand yet be capable of illegal activity to the point of causing gang wars, was wild. And here Mai was, thinking that only bad people committed crimes. They did, but maybe all of them weren't horrific creatures of the night.
Mai's moral compass screamed at her to leave and find a new purpose in life; maybe work at King's restaurant or the Pao Pao Café. And yet leaving still made her hesitate. Despite the danger that Geese posed, he was in an equal amount of danger himself, especially if there was a plot to kill him. Suppose life on the top wasn't so glamorous after all. Mai wondered if he ever sat down and wondered how his life could be if his mother was alive. Maybe he'd be a normal law-abiding citizen; maybe without the money and the riches. Would he be happy then?
Should Mai really be angry anymore? He and Billy, Hein too, Moira, Ripper, Hopper, they were all just people like her. The difference was that they had done something immoral. But never in her presence. Would her relationship change all that much if she saw them as people?
Maybe it wouldn't – if she allowed it. Maybe she'd be fascinated if she heard more. Like stories and tales. Maybe she'd understand. They no doubt had exciting lives, ones where pain and grief didn't get enough time to settle in and slow them down. Or did they do it because of the crime?
The fact that Mai stood and pondered over such thoughts, spoke volumes about her own stance, she realized. Maybe, Mai had been spooked from the shock of the incident. Driving with Geese notwithstanding, he swore to keep her safe. He wouldn't allow her to get hurt even if she left.
He wouldn't drag her into this. Against her better judgment, all reservations that rested in Mai slowly began to dissipate and she closed her eyes, feeling her body fight against the stress that wanted to remain in her body.
She felt as if she stood at a crossroads.