Hawk knew he had gone too far.

Had Cody deserved a beating for selling drugs to Sky and using her? Absolutely. But had he deserved to be left unconscious under the toilet seat, bleeding all over the floor tiles?

Probably not.

Definitely not.

Hawk had beaten Cody up way worse than what he had done to Rickenberger or Brucks… partly because he had been so fucking mad about the things Cody was doing to Sky, but also—

Hawk glanced around the dojo as they were getting ready for today's class. His gut clenched on a tight knot of anxiety as he saw Kyler, Edvin, and the rest of them talking and laughing as if they hadn't almost killed someone the day before.

Was he the only one having regrets about what they had done?

When he had told them that they needed to beat up Cody, no one had even asked why. It had been enough that he had said that Cody was an asshole who needed to be taught a lesson. There had been something contagious about their excitement, the brutal joy of hurting someone who didn't have a chance to fight back. It had spread from them to Hawk and back, until they had all been like animals, tearing Cody apart like a pack of rabid dogs.

It was a wonder they hadn't killed him.

Hawk had gone back to the bathroom an hour later, after the burning, red rage had worn off and it had been replaced by a cold feeling of disgust, regret, and fear. But there had been no dead body on the floor, and no police had come to arrest him, so he assumed that Cody was still alive.

Hawk glanced at Kyler, who was laughing as he showed something on his phone to the others. probably the picture of Cody he had snapped before they had left him on the floor, lying in his blood and vomit. Hawk had seen that photo on Insta, where Kyler had posted it on one of the anonymous accounts that he used to bully people - that fucking asshole. Hawk rolled his eyes and looked away, the sight of Kyler in a Cobra Kai gi always made him annoyed, sick to his stomach.

How is what we did to Cody any different from what Kyler and Brucks used to do to me?

That thought was sudden and painful. Hawk didn't want to face it, he didn't want to think about it. He pushed it away, buried it somewhere deep, deep within, where all the embarrassing memories of the times he had been Eli, still dwelled.

Cody was selling drugs to Sky and it could kill her. He had been asking for a beating, and he had gotten one. End of story. There was no reason why he should feel like this, this hollow, like the floor was unsteady under his feet.

The door opened and the bell chimed, making Hawk turn around to see who was coming to class this late—

His heart fell through his ribcage to his feet at the sight of Sky.

She rushed in like a stormwind, her hair flying in the air behind her and her eyes were burning. She didn't stop to take off her shoes, she just walked in like she was on a mission, and—

Her fist hit him in the face so hard that he almost dropped. He saw stars, the pain was blinding, but even worse was the realization that she had really punched him.

"You asshole!" Sky cried, as Hawk straightened and brought a hand to his burning cheek. "You almost killed him!"

"Sky—"

"You leave other people out of this! If you wanna hit someone, hit me!" Her voice was raw, cracking with emotion.

"I would never—"

"So you just beat up everyone I care about? You think that hurts me any less?"

"I didn't do it to hurt you!"

Her eyes were full of tears, but they were angry tears, her chest was heaving and her shoulders shaking with emotion and it pained him to see her like that. He had never meant to cause her pain, and yet, that seemed to be the only thing he was capable of giving her.

"You are a coward!" Sky spat the words to his face, then glanced around to the other Cobras who had walked closer, attracted by the drama like birds of prey. "You are all cowards! How many of you did it take to bring him down, huh? Three? Four?"

Five.

It had taken five of them, but Hawk wasn't going to say that out loud. He couldn't believe this was happening, that Sky was here, at the dojo, yelling at him, and now all the Cobras were standing around them, and Tory was there too—

This isn't safe—

Sky needs to leave!

Tory looked at Sky with a smirk on her lips, and Hawk's fists clenched. If Tory laid a finger on Sky, he would fucking kill her. With a raw flash of pain, came the memory of Tory standing on top of the stairs after she had kicked Sky down, of Sky lying in a pool of her own blood—

When had he forgiven that to Tory? How had he justified to himself that it was okay to continue in the same team with the girl who had almost murdered the love of his life?

It had been easier not to think about it when Sky wasn't here. But now she was, she was standing in front of him in her cute skirt and her sneakers and Hawk wasn't even mad that she had walked in with her shoes on, he wasn't even mad that she had punched him, because—

Because she was here and all Hawk could think about were the times when this had been her dojo too, when they had trained here together, when she had still loved him, and he had been someone else.

It was all gone, all gone, broken, destroyed, burnt to ashes. He was beyond redemption, and there was no love in Sky's eyes when she looked at him now.

"You almost killed him—" Sky breathed, angry tears making her voice tremble. "You fucking cowards!"

"What's it to you, bitch?" Spoke Kyler. "Awww - are you pissed that he can't fuck you now as he's busy dying?"

Hawk wanted to kill Kyler for speaking to Sky like that, but Sky was faster as she punched back with words.

"You can slut shame me all you want, Kyler, but I don't give a crap. At least people want to fuck me - unlike you."

Kyler looked like he would want to strangle Sky, but she had already turned her full attention back to Hawk. She pointed a finger at him, and she was furious, even angrier than before.

"So what if I fuck Cody! It's none of your business. You hear me? It's my life, my decisions! You and your so-called friends need to stay out of it!"

"I was just protecting you!" Hawk groaned. "He's clearly using you—!"

"Just stop it! You are not my boyfriend anymore!" Sky cried, her voice breaking. "I don't need another violent psycho ex who can't let go and kills my friends! I've had enough of that shit for a lifetime—!"

Those words hit Hawk harder than the punch in the face. Was she seriously comparing him to Matt?

"I'm nothing like him!"

"Then stop acting like him before you get someone killed!"

Her words echoed in the room, making Hawk freeze on his feet.

He knew she was right.

Suddenly he knew it without a doubt. He knew this rage inside of him was only growing, the violence he was capable of was only getting more brutal, he was turning into something not quite human, and he was scared of the boy who looked back at him from the mirror.

He knew it was pure luck that Cody was alive, or Brucks. Or Rickenberger. Or Demetri—

Did he really want to become a killer?

I have to quit Cobra Kai.

That thought was clear, it was an undeniable truth, and for a fleeting moment, it illuminated his whole being as if a heavenly light had descended on him. But—

But at the same time, it was like a pit of despair. It caused so much agony that he couldn't take it. There was no way he could quit, that he could walk away from all this, from the power, from being this tough guy who didn't have to be scared anymore, from being the guy who had friends, a family, a Sensei who believed in him—

"So, the champion returns—" came Kreese's voice taking away all the hope, the light, the oxygen from the air. "Thinking of rejoining Cobra Kai?"

Sky's chest was heaving, the emotion made her slender frame tremble as she turned to look at Kreese. The old man had emerged from the back room and now walked to them, making his way through the crowd, looking at Sky with narrowed eyes, a threatening smile on his lips, and suddenly Hawk's chest filled with dread.

He didn't want to see this confrontation.

But Sky seemed unaffected. Her anger was still burning bright, she looked like an avenging angel as she stood there in front of Kreese, short and slender and full of heavenly wrath.

She tilted up her chin to meet Kreese's gaze. "To rejoin Cobra Kai? You wish! I'd rather die than join this group of assholes."

"Like we'd want you here, slut." Kyler spoke, taking a step closer.

"Watch your words—" Sky snapped, turning to look at him. "We've fought before. I kicked your ass."

"And I kicked yours," said Tory. "That wasn't enough for you?"

At that Sky laughed, and Hawk realized she didn't care what would happen to her. She wasn't scared of Tory, or Kyler, she wasn't even scared of Kreese, she was brave and she was rightful, and everything in this dojo had turned wrong and hateful and twisted if they couldn't see that.

"Oh, aren't you a champ?" Sky laughed at Tory's face. "Here I am! Take your best shot! Yeah, why don't you all do it, gang assault me? I'm alone, I have a brain injury and a bad leg and a weak arm but hey, that's not gonna stop you, is it? Who wants to be the first one? Tory? Kyler? Hawk? Go ahead, assholes—!"

"Enough!" Kreese called. "No one here will fight you, Miss O'Brian."

Tory glanced at Kreese, clearly annoyed. "Why not? Are we just going to let her disrespect our dojo—?"

"Why are you here?" Kreese interrupted Tory, turning his narrowed gaze back to Sky. "Your friend— this boy… I hear he got what was coming for him. Hawk had an unfinished fight with the boy, and now it is finished."

"Unfinished fight my ass!" Sky seethed. "Everyone who was at that party knows that Cody beat Hawk's ass fair and square. What a bunch of pussies you are, losing a fight one to one and then finishing it what - four to one? Pathetic!"

"That attitude can get you in a lot of trouble." Kreese spoke to Sky, his words slow and dark. "You'd better leave."

"With pleasure," Sky turned her eyes back to Hawk. "I'm not scared of you, you asshole. If you ever touch any of my friends again, I will kill you."

With that, she turned and walked away, slamming the door behind her so that the bell jingled with a fierce, broken tone. She didn't look back when she went, not even once, but Hawk couldn't take his eyes off her.

He knew he should follow her. That he should walk away from this place, to go, now, and never look back.

Had she taken his hand and said Come with me now, Eli, he would have.

But she didn't want him with her, she hated him, his face still ached after the punch she had thrown, and he knew that any love she had felt for him, was dead, he had killed that by attacking Cody.

All hope was gone, and this, this filth, was all that remained.

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