Sky didn't want to read your letter. She asked me to tell you that you should not try to write to her again.

For what it's worth, I am sorry, Eli. I know you wished for a different outcome.

-- Nicholas

Hawk stared at the words on the screen of his phone, fighting the nauseous pain they caused. It felt like he was stabbed in the head, the pain was blinding, and he couldn't help a gasp that left his lips, as he read the text.

"Eli, put your phone away," came Mrs. Darrel's voice. "You know you aren't allowed to use it in the classroom."

He glanced up, at the teacher who was staring at him with a displeased frown. He was in the biology class, but that hadn't stopped him from pulling the phone from his pocket when he felt the short buzz that told someone had messaged him. Screw the school - nothing could have stopped him from reading the message, because the only thing he could think of every time his phone buzzed, was Sky - the letter he had sent, his desperate apology, the sickening mix of hope and fear that kept him in a state of agony 24/7 nowadays.

The way he had hoped - hoped against all reason - that he was forgiven, that he was given a second chance—

The words on the screen of his phone were a dagger to his heart. As he read them again, the truth slowly sank in, drowning him as surely as if he'd been dragged to the bottom of the Mariana Trench. The pressure crushed the air out of his lungs, it broke his bones. His whole body ached as he realized what a fool he had been.

He had tried. He had failed.

There was no redemption for him.

"Eli, the phone," Mrs. Darrel repeated, clearly annoyed. "Or I'll send you to Counselor Blatt's office right now."

That did it. If Hawk had to deal with Blatt today, he would murder that stupid cunt.

"Sorry," he muttered, and pushed the phone into his pocket, trying to hide the slight trembling of his hands.

The girl sitting next to him arched a brow and leaned a bit closer.

"Bad news?"

Hawk glanced at her - they had had this seating chart only for a couple of weeks, and he had a seat next to a girl he barely knew. Her name was Cassie - or maybe Carrie? He really should have known by now, but he just hadn't been interested enough to pay attention. It was probably Cassie, he decided. She was kinda pretty in that nerdy way - she had a short, a bit spiky haircut, big glasses and she wore a cute T-shirt that hugged her curves - it had a picture of Spider-Man and a text I do my own stunts. She was tiny - in a way that reminded Hawk of Sky - short and slender, but with a pair of pretty nice tits.

He had noticed that during these couple of weeks, despite his heartbroken state of mind. Hell, he would have to be dead not to notice a pair of nice tits, if they were right there in front of him.

A bit annoyed with himself, he looked away and muttered a response. "Nah, it was nothing."

"Okay," the girl replied. "If you say so."

Hawk turned his eyes back to his notebook and started scribbling the notes Mrs. Darrel had written on the blackboard, but his mind was still elsewhere.

Sky hadn't wanted to read the letter. So, Moon had been wrong. Sky didn't love him anymore, and even if she had some feelings towards him, she wasn't going to forgive, she wasn't going to give Hawk another chance.

Not that he deserved one. He had known that all along - there had been this nagging voice at the back of his mind ever since he had written that letter, yelling at him that it was selfish and stupid to beg for forgiveness when you had done something unforgivable. Unforgivable. That's what Nicholas had called it too - what he had done to Sky.

He gripped the pencil so hard that it snapped, making Cassie - he was pretty sure she was called Cassie - let out a surprised gasp.

"Crap–" Hawk muttered, letting the pencil halves fall onto the table. "Sorry— do you have a pencil?"

"Sure. Just try not to break that one too," Cassie replied and offered him a pencil, which he took, but didn't continue with the notes. His mind kept wandering back to Sky, back to the letter, back to that day when he had given it to Nicholas.

Briefly, he wondered if Sky had read Cody's letter. Of course, she fucking read it. He sent her like half a novel or something, that bastard. That thought made him jealous like nothing else. Would she have read his letter too, if it had been longer, more beautifully written? Would she have read it, had Cody not sent one so much better?

Hawk hated Cody for that, more than he had ever hated him before. The burning jealousy was turning into an ache for violence. He wished he had killed Cody when he had the chance, instead of just leaving him bleeding on the floor. He wished he had drowned that asshole in the toilet.

Hawk had seen him in the cafeteria earlier today, and the sight of his smug, arrogant face had burned in Hawk's stomach like venom. There he had sat, with his fat friend and the group of girls that always seemed to surround him, a set of fresh hickies on the pale skin of his neck, and Hawk had almost walked to him and punched him in his face.

How dare he act like he cared about Sky, leaving a thousand-page- long letter to her and all, when he was clearly fucking someone else? Those hickies were fresh, probably made by one of those giggling girls who were just waiting to throw themselves into his arms. How dare that asshole play Sky like that, so cruelly? He was a fucking loser. Sky deserved better, she deserved someone who loved her, who wouldn't forget her and let other girls suck his neck - and probably other body parts too - the minute she went to rehab.

He was gripping the pencil way too hard, his knuckles turning white, and he forced himself to take a couple of cooling breaths not to snap this one in pieces too.

He hated Cody, sure, but he hated himself more. In the end, he was the one who had fucked up, and he was the one paying the price. Now that all hope of Sky ever forgiving him, was gone, he knew for a fact that no one else would forgive him either. It had been a fool's hope in the first place.

What he had broken could never be fixed.

Thank God he hadn't quit Cobra Kai. There was that, at least. In his weak moments he had considered doing that, just walking away from the dojo, and then sending another letter to Sky - or just a word through Nicholas - that he had left that bunch of assholes. As a gesture of love towards her.

But thank fucking God he hadn't done that. He still had something. He wasn't completely alone. He just had to stop being this pathetic pussy who couldn't let go of his ex-girlfriend. He had to man up and stop being a whiny, fucking loser. He had to prove to the rest of the Cobras that he was still tough, that he was still one of them, that he was willing to go to great lengths for the team—

And for his Sensei, of course. He had a bad feeling that Sensei had sensed his doubts, his flickering wish to quit Cobra Kai - and if that was the case, he needed to do something big, something badass, to prove that he was 100% committed.

Suddenly an idea popped into his head.

It was dearing, illegal even - but if it worked, it would be fucking epic. And to make it work, would require everyone to follow his lead, as they had before, before he had started to show doubt. It would be a test - not only for him but for the guys too.

Hawk was tapping the notebook with his pencil, a mix of nervousness and excitement rushing through his veins as his mind worked fast, mapping the possible flaws in his still sketchy plan. He would have to go and see the spot beforehand, he realized. They couldn't just walk in blind.

The bell rang, and Hawk tossed the pencil back at Cassie, stood up, and started gathering his things.

"Hawk—?" Cassie's voice interrupted his thoughts. With a frown, he turned to look at the girl, who was glaring at him in a way that said she'd been trying to get his attention for a while.

"What?"

"Weren't you listening at all?" Cassie asked, a bit annoyed. "The project is due this Friday and we've barely started it. Are you free today?"

Hawk let out a groan. The fucking project—-

It was this video thing they had to do in pairs, of an endangered species. Hawk had forgotten all about it. After sending his letter to Sky, he had been unable to focus on schoolwork at all - his mind consumed with fear and hope 24/7. Now the memory of the biology project came back like a punch in the face.

If they didn't do it in time, he would fail this class. And he couldn't afford to fail biology - not only was it one of his favorite subjects, but failing it would make Dad fucking pissed. Hawk didn't want to deal with that shit now - he had enough problems as it was.

"The project," he muttered with an eye roll, as he flung his backpack over his shoulder. "Shit– I'm kinda busy today."

"Well yeah, tough luck. I'm busy too, but I don't wanna fucking fail because of you, and I'm not doing all the work myself. We are meeting today after school, you got it? Your place, or mine?"

Hawk arched his brows at the girl who was pointing an angry finger at his chest and couldn't help a small laugh. She was feisty. He kinda liked that.

There might be a way to not fail this project - and find information for his plan to impress Cobra Kai - both at the same time.

"I've got a better idea," he said and let a slow grin grow on his lips. "Let's go to the zoo."