Demetri's room looked exactly the same as before.

The Marvel posters on the wall, the Star Wars Legos and the comics on the shelves, the school supplies, books, and notebooks scattered all over the desk. The newest issue of the Dungeon Lord lay on the nightstand, on top of a pile of older ones.

This was a nerd cave. And Hawk had missed it more than he could ever have imagined possible.

Everything about this place felt like home. There was the Death Star Lego they had built together during a summer vacation two years ago, there were the comics they had purchased together at the store at the mall, and Demetri's old X-Men action figures they had played with a thousand times were still in a box on top of the shelf, next to the Trivial Pursuit they had played so many times they knew all the answers by heart. That was the same carpet they had laid side by side laughing and talking for hours, for days, escaping the reality that sucked for both of them. In this room, they had tried beer for the first time, after sneaking two cans from the fridge.

The emotion got caught in Hawk's throat.

He had missed Demetri like one misses a torn-off limb. His absence had been a hole in his soul, a constant ache that had turned everything inside of him bitter and wrong. In a way, he had missed Demetri more than he missed Sky. And unlike Sky, Demetri had never given up on him.

Demetri had believed in him, even when he had stopped believing in himself. And in the end, it had been Demetri, who had pulled him out of Cobra Kai.

Not that Hawk blamed Sky for anything. She had every right to hate him. He might have broken Demetri's arm, but Hawk knew who was the one he had wronged the most. Broken bones heal way easier than broken hearts.

"Everything okay?"

Demetri's question dropped Hawk back into the moment. He realized that he still stood frozen in the doorway, staring at the insides of Demetri's room. In his hands, he was holding the can of Dr. Pepper and the plate of sandwiches Demetri's Mom had fixed for them. You must be so hungry! she had said, tears in her dark brown eyes. I'm gonna make you boys some supper.

"Yeah—" He swallowed, then cleared his throat. "Yeah, all good. It's just weird to be here."

"Well, believe me, it's weird to have you here." Demetri replied, walked past him, and climbed onto his bed. He crossed his long legs at the ankles, laid his plate on his knees, and opened his can of Coke. "And don't take me wrong. It is great that you're back. But—"

Hawk was still standing next to the door. Suddenly the plate in his hand felt heavy, his fingers were gripping it too hard.

"Look, it's okay if you want me to go. I get it. I can't just expect that everything's gonna be like before—"

"No— just no. Eli—" For once Demetri seemed to be at a loss of words. He hesitated for a couple of heartbeats but then the resolution set on his face. "You want to watch Dr. Who? The latest season was mind-blowing. We can watch it on my laptop while we eat. You haven't seen it yet, right?"

Something painful twisted in Hawk's chest, taking away his breath. He remembered their last conversation about Dr. Who - at Moon's party when he had told Demetri he didn't watch nerd shit, and had poured a beer on Demetri's head. And then Demetri had given the speech—

Hawk stopped that thought before it could go further.

"Yeah," he rasped and took a seat on the bed. "Dr. Who sounds awesome."

Demetri took his laptop, turned it on, and soon the Dr. Who episode started rolling on the screen. There was a lump of emotion in Hawk's throat - he was only half aware of what was going on in the show, was barely listening to Demetri who had instantly started talking, making comments and remarks about the new season. Hawk picked up a sandwich from his plate and took a bite. It was a grilled cheese sandwich, just like Demetri's mom always made them, and it tasted like home and childhood summers.

And yet, the taste was bitter on his lips. He could barely swallow that one mouthful before he had to place the sandwich back down.

"Hey, Demetri— Can I… can I ask you a question?" Hawk interrupted Demetri's monologue, making the other boy glance at him.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Did you— did you ever tell your Mom who broke your arm?"

Demetri frowned and turned his eyes away, and for a moment Hawk thought he wouldn't answer. But then he hit the pause button, and the image on the screen froze. A moment of tense silence followed.

"No, I didn't."

"Why? She deserves to know, Dem. She should kick me out of here instead of making me sandwiches."

"Because—" Demetri sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Because I hoped you'd come to your senses one day. And it didn't seem like a good idea to make that any harder than it already was."

Hawk looked down at the plate in his lap. The lump in his throat wouldn't move no matter how hard he tried to swallow it.

There were so many things he wanted to apologize for. It wasn't just breaking Demetri's arm, not just the pouring of beer in his head, not just the mall fight— What he had done ran a lot deeper than that. The currents were cold and treacherous, they made his soul ache. He had abandoned his brother, had bullied him, had betrayed him—

And for what?

He didn't deserve Demetri's forgiveness. He shouldn't be here watching Dr. Who and eating sandwiches as if nothing had ever gone wrong between them.

"I'm sorry." His voice was dry and raw in his ears. "And not just for that. I'm sorry for—"

"For everything?" Demetri interrupted. "Yes, you said that already. It's okay, I get it. I knew it wasn't the real you."

Hawk had no answer to give to that. What was the real him, anyways? He had no idea - but he knew that switching sides in the middle of that fight and going to Demetri's aid was the first thing that felt right in a very long time.

So he picked up his sandwich and forced himself to take a bite, then another. Demetri pressed play and as soon as the episode started rolling on the screen again, he continued talking. This time Hawk didn't interrupt him. They finished that episode, and then two more after that. They were in the middle of watching the fourth one when Demetri's Mom knocked on the door and asked if they wanted to have some hot chocolate - and if Eli was going to stay over because it was getting late already, and if so, they should get the mattress.

They drank the hot chocolates, and Hawk stayed over.

It was way past midnight when Hawk lay on the mattress next to Demetri's bed, wearing a pair of borrowed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajamas, staring at the ceiling that was decorated with small plastic stars, the kinds that glow in the dark. They had put them up there together, years ago - in shapes that resembled real constellations. There was Cassiopeia, and there the Big Dipper. Orion was on the wall, next to the dark shape of the large bookshelf.

"Are you still awake?" he asked silently, after listening to Demetri's soft breathing for what could have been ten minutes or half an hour, maybe longer.

"Well I am now," Demetri replied - but Hawk could hear from his tone that he hadn't been sleeping either.

"Can I ask you something?"

A short silence followed. Then Demetri rolled to his side and moved so that he could see Hawk whose bed was made on the floor next to his.

"I sense a serious conversation," Demetri said and turned on the night light. The constellations on the ceiling lost their glow. "What is it?"

"What's the deal with Sky and Cody?"

Demetri sighed and a frown fell on his face. "I should have guessed. So— still her, huh?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Still."

He didn't have to say more. He knew that Demetri understood, that in those two short words, there was everything, there was the whole world. He didn't have to say more, and yet Demetri understood perfectly that Hawk still loved Sky, that nothing had changed about how he felt about her, that nothing ever would.

"What do you want to know?"

"I know they hooked up at that Halloween party," Hawk spoke silently, turning his eyes away from Demetri's face. That memory still hurt, like a knife to his gut and it was impossible to hide. "And probably after that too… But— but I thought that was it. She was in rehab for a month. But now— how come Nicholas let Cody see Sky and threw us out? What's going on there?"

"Look, I probably shouldn't tell you this," Demetri started, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "But— I heard Cody forged some papers and visited Sky in rehab. Like— a lot. That's why she got kicked out of there."

A horrible feeling washed over Hawk, and in one swift move, he sat up on his makeshift bed. "What? Who told you that?"

"Sky told Moon, she told Yas and Yas told me." Demetri muttered awkwardly. "Apparently the girls thought it was super romantic—"

"Well it's not - it's creepy as fuck. That dude is a fucking stalker! Sky was in rehab! He's a manipulative asshole to take advantage of her in a situation like that."

Demetri shrugged. The faint light of the night light cast moving shadows on his long, angular face. "I guess I see your point."

A short silence followed. Hawk kept swallowing the acrid taste on his tongue, but it did no good. He remembered Cody's smug face, the hickies on his neck, and suddenly all that had a new meaning to him. All the time when he had thought Cody had forgotten Sky and was fucking other girls—

He'd been with her all this time?

Were they like— together, together? Was it more than just casual sex now? Was she— in love with him?

Hawk felt like he couldn't breathe. The weight that was crushing his chest was excruciating.

"I've been such a fucking idiot," he groaned and fell back down on the mattress. "I thought— I don't know. I guess I thought that if I quit Cobra Kai, that if I just got to talk with her— then she'd hear me out. Give me another chance. But it's never gonna happen now, is it?"

"Look," Demetri started, and Hawk turned his glance to him. "I know I'm no expert in these matters—"

Despite his breaking heart, Demetri's comment brought a brief smile to Hawk's lips.

"Dude. You might as well be one. You're dating Yasmine. How the fuck did you pull that off?"

Demetri's lips curved into a wide, genuine smile and he let out a short laugh.

"I don't know, I guess I was just myself and somehow that worked. Which brings me back to my point. Maybe all you have to do is just be yourself too. Sky may have broken up with Hawk - but she fell in love with Eli. Just make her see that Eli is back, and she might come around."

Hawk felt his smile disappearing. The weight on his chest was heavy, it tarnished everything, turning his insides rotten, spoilt. The things he had done to Sky—

She would never believe that Eli still existed. He barely believed it himself.

"I don't know, Dem." He sighed, his voice breaking. "You don't know half of the shit I put her through."

"Yeah, well— you put us all through some shit, and yet, here we are." Demetri shrugged. "You want to talk about that? What happened between the two of you?"

Hawk didn't. He hadn't told anyone about that night on his front steps. Mom had tried to ask about it several times, and Nicholas had yelled about it that day when he had given him the letter— But he had pushed them both away. He hadn't confessed to anyone what he had done, what he had said, the way he had broken Sky. There had been no one to talk to. But now—

He glanced at Demetri, who sat on his bed in his comfy Star Wars jammies, leaning his elbows to his knees just waiting for Hawk to talk to him. There was no judgment in the way Demetri was looking at him, and for that, Hawk loved him fiercely, loved him like a brother.

In a hoarse, breaking voice he told Demetri about what had happened that night after the arcade fight, when Sky had shown up at his front door and confronted him about breaking Demetri's arm. He told Demetri about their fight, how it had grown into this beast, into this storm where they had both just thrown insults at each other, where words had turned into bullets that were meant to hurt, to wound, to kill. He told Demetri everything he had yelled at Sky, all the nasty, disgusting things that still made his stomach turn.

"It's my fault that she started doing drugs." His throat was hoarse as if the words he had spoken had been venom on his tongue. He could taste it, the bitter taste of bile at the back of his mouth. "She started after that… after the things I said. I pushed her into doing it. Dem— I could have fucking killed her."

Demetri was silent for a long time, which didn't happen often. His eyes were dark and sad, and even if he still didn't judge him, Hawk could see the hurt on his face. Sky was his friend, and what he had done, had affected not just her, but Demetri too.

"I know I fucked up," Hawk said, trying to force down the tears he felt burning behind his eyes. "But I didn't— I didn't mean anything I said—"

"I know. Shit, I believe you, but still…" his voice trailed off, turned into a shrug.

Hawk swallowed hard. The things Demetri didn't say lay heavy on his chest, taking away his breath.

"I just wish I knew how to fix this," he rasped. "I just… I just want her back. I love her more than anything."

With a sigh, Demetri reached a hand and turned off the night light, lay down on his bed. The darkness filled the room, and as Hawk's eyes adjusted to it, the constellations on the ceiling, on the walls, slowly reappeared. Cassiopeia. Orion. The Big Dipper. A hundred scattered stars all around them.

"You know," Demetri's voice was the one clear thing in this world of shadows. "I could be wrong, but I think she's still in love with you too."