Chapter 4 - connection / understanding

He had, in spite of his reservations about the wedding thing, been completely unable to stop himself from hounding Charles for her contact details. Now he knew that the three of them had been talking on his behalf through the app, he felt he had some catching up to do. His friend downloaded the app to his phone and explained the direct messaging functionality. He was glad for Charles' assistance, for it saved him from asking his sister. And he was not yet willing to give Georgiana a bit to chew on, knowing full well how invested she would become if she thought him to be under any risk of falling for someone. And he still did not know whether she had been in earnest on their first date. So his evening with his sister directly afterwards had been interesting. She had been desperate to know every minutia of the afternoon's events, and he had wanted to reveal as little as possible about any of the details until he worked out what any of them had actually meant.

"You have some explaining to do," he had said upon opening the door to his large townhouse and seeing his sister standing there waiting for his return. "Right after I change out of my whites."

He could feel the stale remnants of his excursion sitting on his skin, and in any case, the restaurant he had booked for the two of them was most definitely not a tennis whites sort of establishment. He ignored his sister's protests when he brushed past her to his bedroom and waiting en-suite. He caught the gist of her frustrations - that she did not want to wait even a second to get his impression of the mystery women. He felt petulant as he denied her request, tormenting her from withholding her prior information about the app and the wedding from him.

He showered quickly, despite his desire to savour the hot water that reminded him of a certain warmth he had allowed himself to bask in for the better part of the afternoon. He was still annoyed at his sister for her part in the facade of the whole affair, but he did not want to make her wait unduly out of spite. And besides, he detested being late.

Pulling on a well-fitting dinner jacket and matching trousers, he checked his reflection before heading downstairs. What he saw surprised him. Flecks of pink splattered his cheeks, and his eyes were bright with energy. Perhaps it is the exercise, he lied to himself. I need to get out more.

"You scrub up well, brother," came the tease as he descended into view. He nodded his thanks.

"I like your dress," he smiled. "It matches your eyes - is it new?"

She rolled hers but nodded in the affirmative, and pulled him into a hug. He winced, not wanting to crinkle his deep blue suit. She assumed the worst, her voice wavering as she replied.

"I am sorry," she wobbled. "I didn't mean to set you up and for it to be a disaster."

"A disaster?" He questioned, the surprise in his tone catching the both of them off-guard. Surprise quickly faded into indignance as he registered that she had assumed the worst of his social skills. "What makes you-"

"You are angry," she reasoned quietly. "So I thought that you had a bad time? I only wanted you to put yourself out there. It's been so long since-"

"Yes ok," he interrupted, not wanting to see her pity for his lack of dating life. "It was not bad, in fact it was quite the opposite. Fresh air, exercise. They were friendly, particularly Jane and Charles." He smiled wistfully, and Georgiana squealed.

"Then what? I don't understand." She was holding his arms for balance, but he did not tell her to let go, despite the folds forming in the fabric.

"I cannot believe that you let me go to meet them without explaining about the app, about the wedding?"

Georgiana's eyes widening in recognition told him all he needed to know. He pinched the bridge of his nose to avoid saying anything he would later come to regret.

"I am sorry. I didn't think you would go if you knew."

"You are probably right," he admitted. He wasn't ready to let go of his anger just yet. "But you should have told me, I have a right to know."

"I know, I know," her tone was apologetic. "But it is so hard to get you to open up and do anything like this, even without an extra barrier of complication like the whole wedding dates thing."

"I think you are being unfair to me," he said. His expression and the resignation in his voice told her that he did not necessarily believe himself.

"I think you are being unfair to me," she echoed. "I try to do something nice for you and your friend, helping to secure you a date with two beautiful and charming women. I try to pull you out of your three-year moping spell. And this is how you repay me? By chewing me out?"

"I haven't been moping for three years," he defended.

"You have!" Her voice was kind, even if her words were direct. "When was the last time you went on a date? When was the last time you went out with friends who are not Charles, Rich or me?"

He had no words, no defence. Of course she would have noticed. It had been a dry spell of epic proportions.

He had found a really good therapist after his father died, so he had learned how to deal with the negative emotions, and the nothingness, that came after such an event. But he had not quite felt himself enough to inflict his melancholy onto anyone else. He had thrown himself into work and looking after his sister, and had a lot to show for it. But he would be lying to himself and Georgiana if he claimed to have lived his personal life to the full since it had all happened.

"I've been busy at work," he woodenly gave her the weak excuse.

"A job like yours, Will, you will always have that excuse."

"I know, I don't know why I am being so defensive. I know you are right. And I thought I was ready-" His voice tailed off wistfully. His sister seemed to know exactly where his thoughts had gone. They were very close, and he saw his grief mirrored in her eyes. When does it ever go away? The silent question hung in the silence.

"But you said it was not bad?" Georgiana broke the quiet, trying to lighten the mood in her lovely, kind way. Whenever he felt himself slipping back into bad habits, she was there to set him back onto the right course. For all of his frustration about her high-handedness in arranging this date for him, he did not know what he would do without her.

"Not in the mood to elaborate," he replied honestly. "But yes, it was a pleasant afternoon."

"Well," she said, her good humoured teasing returning, "are you going to see them again?"

"Well," he recovered from his momentary melancholy, his tone mimicking hers. "We have this wedding in a month or so which I have so kindly been signed up to attend by my mischievous imp of a sister and my hopeless romantic idiot of a best friend."

Georgiana squealed again, unable to hold in her happiness. She loved her brother's playful side.

"Am I forgiven for my meddling, brother?" She asked with her wavering tone returning.

"Let's see how it pans out," he said, feigning seriousness.

"I am sorry for not telling you about the app and the set up. I don't know what else to say-"

"I know," he interrupted her apology, she had said it enough. "And in any case I cannot stay mad at you for too long. So, let's forget about it and go to dinner."

She breathed a sigh of relief at his forgiveness and hugged him tightly. Privately, she thought that forgetting the afternoon was not something she wished either of them to do. Her curiosity burned on the tip of her tongue, but she dared not push her luck.

"I love you Will."

"I love you too, now, please stop wrinkling my suit. We are going to be late." She laughed to see her uptight brother return to her, and took his hand when she let him go from her grasp. His touch grounded her, reminding her that he had forgiven her presumptuousness.

"God forbid, turning up late to a reservation. Whatever will we do? It's not like you paid them the Earth to reserve our table or anything. I don't imagine they'll give it to anyone else even if we don't show at all."

"Nevertheless, you know I detest being anything other than punctual."

"I love you," she said again. He felt the warmth creeping back into his heart and smiled at her. There were few people in his life that openly liked him for his quirks, and he cherished them.

A small voice in the back of his mind surfaced as he walked his sister to the car. If he imagined himself performing similar acts of domestic felicity with another such person, he would not admit it. He surprised himself at how quickly his head had been filled with the woman who had made him feel so warm and understood. Strapping himself in, he tried to remind himself that she could have been acting, he would not have known. And anyway, it would not do to rush things.

~.~

The first thing Elizabeth had done when she returned home was to check the chat history in the four-way message group. She knew she should take a shower first, but her curiosity refused to wait. She offered for Jane to use the bathroom first, and made for her room, hoping her eagerness to be alone would not alert her sister to her tentative enthusiasm about a certain gentleman.

She was surprised at what she saw in the group chat, a William who messaged frequently and with enthusiasm. It didn't tie up for him to have been so reserved when they had first met. There were a lot of colloquialisms that didn't fit his proper manner of speaking either.

Before she could think better of it, she found the private message function and sent him one. She didn't want to seem too keen, but he had seemed upset at the end of their date, and she didn't want him to bail from meeting the parents. Sure, meeting the parents. That was all the sinking in her gut was. Fear of having to find another poor soul to run the gauntlet. Nothing to do with him, or the way he had riled her up and made her smile. Her fingers flew over the keys.

Elizabeth: Hey! Finally found the time to check back on the group messages. Don't worry, I haven't used the time to do an internet stalk, it seemed like you wouldn't want me to ;)

The instant she sent it, nervousness washed over her. She realised she'd not given him a reason to reply, and quickly sent another.

Elizabeth: Btw, you didn't say you lived so close by?

The message he had sent to the group chat had said he lived in Knightsbridge, just the other side of Hyde Park from her. She wondered if he too lived with his sister, the one who gave him the excuse he needed to indulge in his musical interests.

With no immediate response forthcoming, she put her phone away and tried to fight the urge to look him up on social media.

She had her shower to distract her from her impatience to hear back from him. It didn't really work. She caught herself looking at her phone every minute or two as if doing so would coax a message from the silence. Still, it felt nice to wash the exertion from her skin.

~.~

An hour later, she was sitting on the comfy sofa in the shared living room, eating pizza from the box with her sister cross-legged next to her. They had some drag race on in the background, both half-watching their guilty pleasure reality TV and half-chatting about their afternoon.

"So how long did you wait before you texted him?" Lizzy asked of her sister, certain that she and Charles had been back-and-forth-ing all week. She had not seen enough in the group chat to warrant their easy chatter earlier in the day.

Jane blushed, pizza falling limply back onto the plate.

"I had my shower first," she defended.

"So restrained of you,"Lizzy teased.

"And I might ask the same question to you?" Jane said archly.

"I don't have his number," Lizzy hedged, raising an eyebrow.

"That surprises me, I thought you would have asked when you were busy bonding over work earlier."

"Bonding? I don't think-"

"Oh come on, Lizzy! I know it's been a while, but don't think it's been so long that I don't remember what the look you were giving him today means. You were so into him."

Her sister didn't have a rebuttal, so she grabbed a piece of pizza and stuffed it into her mouth to avoid the scrutiny.

"I could ask Charles for it," Jane offered. The teasing tone in her voice had gone, and she was being completely sincere in her typically kind way.

"It's ok, don't want to seem overeager."

"I don't think he would mind," Jane replied quietly. Lizzy took another pointed bite of pizza and sighed.

She changed the subject, talking about the current episode.

Jane reluctantly let it drop. She resigned herself to waiting until their family dinner to see Lizzy and William reconnecting. She was sure she'd spend the next couple of weeks fielding her sister's moping.

That was until they were on their third episode of drag race for the evening, and Jane heard a notification sound from her sister's phone. She smirked and raised an eyebrow. She knew her sister had not been completely honest the second that the sound interrupted their quiet camaraderie, as Lizzy stiffened next to her and started breathing heavily. That was no text from Charlotte, she would bet quite a lot of money on it. Lizzy pointedly carried on watching drag race, and Jane did not press the matter.

Lizzy refused to look at her phone until the episode finished, when she left the cosiness of the lounge in favour of the solitude of her bedroom. Her heart thumped traitorously the entire way from the couch to her room, where she opened her phone with clammy hands.

~.~

She smiled broadly to see that the notification was indeed from the dating app. She opened the app to see a message waiting next to his name.

William: Good evening, Elizabeth. I checked the message to which you refer - and it did indeed tell you where I'm based. So I do not know what you mean by 'I didn't tell you' …

This message matched his tone from earlier - that slightly infuriating, entirely arousing voice he had spoken with. It was different to the way he had messaged in the group chat. She couldn't put her finger on it.

Elizabeth: I meant, you didn't mention it when I was talking about my flat in person earlier. You know I didn't have time to read the chat.

William: I can only apologise for my lack of openness, I am shy, especially when I meet a beautiful woman for the first time.

She smiled at the compliment.

William: Plus, you could be a murderer or a psychopath for all I know. It's safer to stay fairly anonymous on the first date.

How he was able to draw a laugh from her when he was separated by a screen, she did not know. But she chuckled quietly at his message, trying not to arouse suspicion from her sister next door.

Elizabeth: That is very true, perhaps I shouldn't have admitted to living nearby!

William: You can trust me

She felt it, inexplicably. That pull she had felt earlier, the one that made her believe that she did in fact trust him.

Elizabeth: This feels intense to admit, but I kinda believe that…

William: Only 'kinda' - ouch.

Elizabeth: Don't get ahead of yourself, kinda is pretty good for a first meeting.

He kicked himself, he really couldn't tell anything about her tone from the messages. He hoped she was smiling, chuckling quietly like he was. But she could just as easily be scandalised by his forwardness. He decided to bite the bullet.

William: Forgive my forwardness, but can I have your number? Your mobile phone number?

Elizabeth: You are forgiven, I prefer WhatsApp to this, too.

She copied her contact card into the chat box and hit send. She was encouraged to receive a WhatsApp notification almost immediately from him. His username was simple, and she could only assume it was his initials. He had not changed his status from the default, and the picture was of him looking rather delicious in a well tailored suit, perhaps at a wedding.

WD: Hello, it's me, William.

WD: I meant to say, sorry for my delay in messaging back earlier.

Her heart rate spiked as she considered his profile, and not just because the picture was so gorgeous.

Surely WD couldn't mean William Darcy - as in the very same Darcy as the four generations of Darcys who had owned Pemberley before and since it became a leading digital solutions provider. He had said he was senior, and the suit spoke of someone who's tailor had their pattern known by heart. But if he was William Darcy, it would make him the son of the CEO at the time she had worked with them.

She had a quick flashback to the way he had said my company earlier, and she felt a lump settle in her gut at the revelation.

What did it mean? This handsome business owner who had seemed so normal. Would he think less of her when she told him she didn't come from money? That the scant few things she knew about his circles were the few things she picked up at university? She suddenly felt rather inadequate, and was glad for the fact that she had put two and two together via message rather than having him stand over her whilst she tried to figure out how she felt about it. Her phone pinged again, pulling her out of her reverie.

WD: Hello? I am sorry. My sister has been meddling.

She felt a pang of guilt at making him wait for a reply. Then reading what he had written, her heart sunk even further to the floor. What if he had been pretending this afternoon? She had been sure she felt something, but if he been forced into the date by his sister and he hadn't wanted to be there, she felt awful…

There was only one way to find out.

EB: Hey! Glad you found it here ok. What do you mean about your sister?

WD: My sister Georgiana, in her infinite wisdom, has been liaising with Charles on this app. This evening was the first I heard of it, or read any of the messages.

WD: Not that I didn't know we were going on a double date, I mean…

She could see him typing and tried to quiet the lurch in her chest as she waited.

WD: I had seen a picture, Georgie shared it with me.

William was struggling to explain it under the pressure of replying to her. Fuck, he thought, why is this so difficult?

Lizzy swallowed this development with grace. It really made a lot of sense, the tone of his messages now being so much more in tune with who he had appeared to be during their date. It must have been his sister who had been messaging before, under his name. She took pity on him instead of addressing the surprised anger at the thought of having been lied to.

EB: That makes two of us who are useless at dating apps, then. I am sorry if you felt obliged to join us today.

WD: I came willingly, don't you fret. Once I saw your picture.

She felt her stomach right itself and a delicious warmth gathering at his compliment.

EB: Phew!

EB: So shall we just scrap whatever has been said under pretence and start over, then?

WD: I am not sure I want to start over ;)

Had he just used an emoji? She did not have him pegged as the sort. But she could almost hear the flirtatious, deep voice reading it to her.

EB: mhmm, how so?

She wanted to get a sense of whether he had felt the same inexplicable pull that she had.

WD: I am not sure I want to forget how good you look in your sportswear.

The warmth in her belly strengthened at his playfulness, and the fact he thought she was beautiful. She saw the "typing…" appear under his name.

WD: Of course, I also want to remember our conversation earlier. I am not in the habit of objectifying women, no matter how beautiful.

She could not quite believe it, he was so charming for his stumbling over words and making her feel those things, like he was in the room with her.

EB: well, thank goodness for that!

WD: what?

She imagined his face, eyebrow cocked in challenge, and smirked to herself.

EB: I would rather not forget you in yours either.

EB: And it's ok, it was sweet of you to say

He groaned into his silent bedroom. He would rather be called so many other adjectives than 'sweet.' He'd have to work on it next time he saw her. He felt a deep heat settle in his stomach as he considered that. Jesus, he was getting ahead of himself. He heard the quiet buzz of his phone vibrating and was eternally grateful for her response to pull him from what he was thinking.

EB: In fact, I was thinking…

She saw the three dots that meant he was typing, but carried on regardless.

EB: I was thinking, perhaps I can put my assistant in touch with yours. I know we have to go to dinner with my parents for the sake of this stupid wedding thing, but we should see each other before then

EB: Maybe we could get them to find a lunch date that works?

EB: My office is central.

She waited a moment before texting him again, just in case there was any room for misunderstanding.

EB: A lunch date, alone. I mean

Christ, he gulped audibly. He could not believe his luck. Here she was, this woman who intrigued him as much as she aroused him, and she was asking him out on another date. A delightfully non-double one.

He rushed to reply as quickly as he could.

WD: That sounds thoroughly agreeable.

EB: I mean, if we are to be believed in our ruse-lationship, we should at least get to know each other a bit

He winced at the addition, which suggested that she had meant for the lunch to be all business, for a joint purpose of learning about each other to perform their relationship in front of her parents. She made a lot of sense, but he could not help the twinge of disappointment that followed the realisation she was not asking him on a real second date. Still, he would take what he could get.

He saw her typing again, and held his breath.

EB: Great, I am looking forward to seeing you again

She shared her assistant's email address before either could chicken out, and he went quiet for a moment as he fired off a quick email to his assistant to explain what to expect. And to ask her to schedule the appointment for within the next week. He was not a patient man, and there was no way he was waiting longer than that. The excuse he gave was that she was a talent from a previous project that the recruitment teams had mentioned. The opportunity to snag her could not be missed. He was surprised to recognise that he was being truthful, though he was not about to admit that he meant it in more than the business sense.

He took himself back to the matter at hand, where his thumbs were slowly typing back to her.

WD: I am not sure I fully understand this wedding deal, or the "ruse-lationship" you speak of.

EB: It's in the message chain. But let me explain…

He sat there, stunned, as she told him of the bargain she had made to appease her mother. He couldn't help but notice the parallels between their situations.

WD: My sister is the same, desperate to set me up at any cost.

WD: I am not, though.

WD: Desperate, that is.

EB: Thank you for not judging. My mother means well…

WD: So does Georgie.

EB: I just don't know how they can't accept that I can be happy on my own!

It was in fact an opinion he shared, but not one that he was currently living in practice. He had to admit that he had not been happy, though whether that was because he was alone, or because of the sad series of events that had befallen him that started when his mother died, he could not tell. Still, he wasn't ready to share that with her just yet. He opted for a simple reply.

WD: Yes, I know.

For some reason, his simple reply had her feeling as though she could let down her guard around him. Her fingers flew across her screen and she hit send before she could second guess herself.

EB: Sorry, not to get all "fuck the patriarchy" on you so soon, but I just feel like the world is terrified of a successful, happy woman who happens to be single!

WD: I know what you mean. But if that is the case, let me reassure you that I am most definitely not 'the world'

EB: Well thank goodness for that

She began to type "because I was starting to like you," but thought better of it - it was too soon.

WD: I feel like I should go to bed, but I don't think I'm finished talking to you, yet.

It felt like something one would say weeks into whatever this was, and it made her warm all over to think he felt the same as him. She didn't want to assume anything, but she wasn't finished hearing from him either.

EB: Tell me more about your sister, it seems like you're close?

WD: We live together, have done since she finished fashion school.

He went on to enumerate all of her wonderful qualities, and Lizzy replied with the rundown of her chaotic family until her phone falling on her face woke her up.

EB: As much as I am enjoying myself, I really need to sleep. I need to be up early in the morning.

WD: Of course, sorry for rambling so late into the evening. Sleep well.

WD: Besides…

Her body hummed with the promise of what he might say next. She could not tear her eyes away from her screen, and didn't want to think about what that meant. Everything was different from this morning.

WD: You've got my number now, no more waiting on slow (never) replies to app messages.

Once again, he made her laugh into the stillness of her room, through a screen, and when he was not even trying to be funny. She didn't want to stroke his ego too much though.

EB: Thank you for today, I really enjoyed your company.

WD: Me too, Elizabeth.

It felt like she would never sleep, her whole body was charged with energy, anticipating what he might say next. Instead of overthinking it and sending infinite replies, she carefully plugged her phone in to charge and reasoned that she would text him in the morning.