Per usual, there is a more mature version on A03 lol.
Happy Reading.
The bed and breakfast that her father books for them is a good drive away but it's secluded and the fall colours are beautiful.
"Oh yes, Reverent Meredith booked the captain's room, though this is off, he requested it is made up with two twin beds?" The lady frowns looking at them.
"That's my father being a pastor, and teasing us," Una says shaking her head. "No sharing beds before marriage in the house. Outside of the house…that's another story but he is trying to be cheeky."
"Oh, of course!" The matron said with a knowing smile. "Well, give me a moment and I will fix this up for you. I will put you in the crow's nest, lovely bathtub in it, room for two," she winks at them. She types not the computer before getting the key for the room.
"Upstairs to the right," she says handing them over to Alec. "Do you need help with bags?
"We'll be good?" Alec says shaking his head.
"You know I am rather surprised that you didn't pack a book or two," Alec says as she opens the bag that she had thrown things in.
Una looks at him before tossing a copy of Keats and the goblin market along with a box of condoms she had bought for them.
"Never mind," Alec says picking up the goblin market with interest. "Interesting choice, I didn't take you for a pre-Raphaelite."
"I enjoy the fantasy," Una says with a shrug. "I like Flower Fairies as well if that means anything at all?"
"Flower fairies, my sister loved those growing up," Alec says simply.
"Can I ask you something?" Una asks him.
"Of course?"
"Why didn't your sister just fly to your Aunts? Why take the train? Especially if you have the money too well not to?"
"If I say I enjoy taking the train would you believe me?" Alec asks.
"I suppose so?" Una frowns.
"Then I enjoy taking the train, which honestly is the real reason. Felicity spends some time with our father's family every summer, as Ophelia, our cousin is her age and they enjoy spending time together. I usually drop her off, and pick her up as she is afraid of flying and afraid of being alone on a train."
Una nods her head before sitting on the bed.
"Can I kiss you properly now?" Alec asks looking down at her.
"You weren't before?" Una raised an eyebrow at his request.
"Oh you know well enough that I wasn't," Alec smirks. "Last thing I wanted was your father to walk in on us with my tongue in my mouth."
"Oh, here I thought you meant kissing other places," Una says slyly.
"Oh, there will be plenty of that as well,"
"Come and kiss me.
Never mind my bruises,
Hug me, kiss me, suck my juices
Squeez'd from goblin fruits for you,"
Alec whispers in her ear.
"Only you ask nicely," Una tells him cheekily, tracing over the belt of his jeans. It doesn't take long for the clothes to be tossed into a corner, as they crawl back toward the pillows.
"I missed this," Una says sighing afterward
"You can always come home with me, Luv" Alec jokes. "I'm sure there are ways to do it that are easy and not too crazy or expensive?"
Una looks at him for a moment before getting up from the bed. "That can't be the only answer, Alec, you know that right?"
"Of course, I know that," Alec says quietly. "Come lay back down, let's just relax and enjoy this?" He gives in, pleading.
There's a piano that calls to her, it's been too long since she had played and there was sheet music and the keys were open. So she takes this as an option invitation to play it as she sits down and wipes her hands on her jeans. Alec had fallen asleep after their afternoon roll in the bed, so she was wandering the house herself after snagging a snack from the sideboard that had coffee and tea on it for them. Not to mention it was raining out, with a chance of thunderstorms that appeared to threaten them as she looked out the one window.
She plays mostly from memory, working through childhood favourites and guilty pleasures, but eventually, she lands on one that almost stops her in her tracks as much as Alec's presence.
I finally made it to the stage of missing you
So I listened to a song I shouldn't listen to
And it made me start to take apart the story of us
What it could've been and wasn't and what it really was
"Don't stop," he tells her quietly, sitting down next to her. He doesn't know the song though, it was one she found by chance. "It's okay, whatever the lyrics are, clearly it means something to you if you know it," he adds on.
Una merely nods. "I don't know how I found it, but I was just lying in bed with some radio station on my phone playing, and it just sort of stuck?" She tells him as she places her fingertips back on the ivory keys. She restarts the song from the beginning, closing her eyes as if it was all muscle memory anyway.
I said I'd never let go
And I told you I'd stay
But a ship without an anchor's gonna float away
Yeah, you watched me bend
And you let me break
Oh, I thought that I was stronger, that was my mistake
Maybe I left you 'cause you left me no choice
I begged you not to make me cry another tear
And I warned you I would leave before I disappeared
I carried us a million miles without your help
'Til I barely even had the strength to save myself
All the old promises flood into her memories, summers between high school and college. How she once promised him that she would never leave him. That she was always going to be there for him.
She feels Alec's calm demeanour beside her, which sends waves of comfort over her.
No choice at the end of it all it felt like.
Her voice cracks, as tears, threatening to fall.
Do you have any idea what you put me through?
What you did to me? What I did for you?
Now you're turning me into an enemy
When I know you knew how much I loved you
How much I loved you
She can't look at him as she whispers the last part, not that she would consider what she and Alec had was love. But that the same time what did they have if he had come at a drop of a hat to be with her?
I said I'd never let go
And I told you I'd stay
But a ship without an anchor's gonna float away
Yeah, you watched me bend
And you let me break
Oh, I thought that I was stronger, that was my mistake
Maybe I left you 'cause you left me no choice, oh
No choice
No choice, she had no choice when it came to him if she wanted to survive and come out on the other side.
"If he knew, if he saw you change yourself, try to be someone else and did nothing. If he let you destroy yourself and still did nothing or even ask if you were fine. He took what he wanted, and then had a tantrum when you broke away from his manipulations." Alec tells her quickly.
"He's angry because you took away his control over you."
Her therapist told her the same thing once before.
"Let's play one of those old board games, before dinner tonight?" Alec tells her spotting a shelf of them. "I haven't played battleship since I was a wee boy."
Una laughs lightly but moves away from the piano and over to the table as he sets up the game.
The song was a reminder of how confusing her life was in so many ways. She no longer pined for him, but the past still was there in her head and the longer she was here the more confusing It became for her.
She didn't know what to do, stay or go, but the choice she had for going was just as daunting of a choice.
Luckily, the game is as she remembers and she's able to think and play at the same time, eventually, she finds herself laughing more than she thought she might. By the end of the third game, she is running her foot up his leg, grinning as he loses track of his strategy once more.
"Stop that," he tells her.
"Hmm, I rather not," Una grins at him.
"So, we should probably figure something out?" Alec says trying to get her to stop. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know," Una says. "But what was the deal, battleship for a choice of sexual favour?"
"I didn't think we had stakes to winning the game," Alec says after a moment soon they see a person with a pizza looking around for them.
Una jumps up, pulling money out of her pocket and handing it over. "Thank you," she tells the delivery boy. "Shall we eat?"
Alec nods closing the game boards and putting them away quickly.
They head up to the room, where they eat from the box while putting on a movie.
"Who gets pineapple on pizza?" He says looking at her half.
"All the Merediths," Una says after swallowing her bite. "Don't knock it until you try it."
'No, thank you," Alec says shrugging. Sticking to his side of the pizza which was mushrooms and pepperoni.
Una sticks out her tongue at him and curls into him to watch the movie. Such a mundane thing, but it felt good and they stay that way until the movie ends as a storm is rolling through the sky, rain hits the windows and the wind howls.
Alec goes to throw away the box and bring the dishes back down into the kitchen, as Una fills up the tub and pours some sort of oil in it. Undressing, wondering if Alec took to washing the dishes as he was taking longer than expected.
When he does come back he holds little lanterns, candles, a plate of cookies, bottles of water and a flashlight.
"Apparently we needed the storm package," he says as he manages the door, only to turn around to see her soaking in the tub.
"You know what is my favourite thing about thunderstorms?" Una asks him.
"Which is?" Alec asks.
"Soaking in a tub and watching it from the window, the bathroom near the master bedroom has a good view of the ocean. I would just sit in the hot water and just catch the storm in the safety of the bath." Una explains.
"Do I get to join you?" Alec wriggles his eyebrows.
"Only if you ask nicely," Una shakes her head at him, but her voice is teasing.
The Soul has Bandaged moments -
When too appalled to stir -
She feels some ghastly Fright come up
And stop to look at her -
Salute her, with long fingers -
Caress her freezing hair -
Sip, Goblin, from the very lips
The Lover - hovered - o'er -
Unworthy, that a thought so mean
Accost a Theme - so - fair -
"Dickenson," Una hums. "I guess I shall allow it," she tells him. She moves out forwards in the tub as she watches him undress, admiring the muscles of his legs to his stomach as he takes his clothes off.
Once upon a time, she might have blushed at the sight of a naked man, but these days it felt all too normal.
He steps in carefully behind her and sinks into the water. She leans against his chest, feeling oddly comfortable as they were.
His hand ran down her arms and up over her shoulders, pushing her hair out of the way as he presses a kiss into her skin.
"Have you thought of anything yet? What you might want to do?" He asks about her life and not sex, she's used to him in another way when naked, but it didn't seem like that was him at this moment.
"I don't know Alec, what is there really?" Una says sighing, looking up at him with a frown.
"You can come to England," he says cheekily. "Just stay a while and see if you like it or not?"
"That's a lot," Una says quietly and sits just as quietly before she looks at him until he kisses her. The water sloshes, it doesn't take long for things to become heated, steam from the water and them rising and swirling around them as she manages to turn around. Legs wrapping around his waist, playing with all sorts of fire as she feels him beneath her in the water.
Lightning strikes across the sky, the lights flicker, and thunder clashes angrily around them. Still, they were safe in their own little haven of a room as the storm poured rain just a few feet away from them.
Earlier it had all been about need and want of pleasure, this time it's deeper in meaning that sends a bolt of lightning to her heart in a way she didn't expect. It wasn't supposed to be like this, was it?
She feels her body tremble, she feels the bubbling—boiling feeling ignite, racing through her veins. She doesn't let go of him, she refused to let go of him.
He holds her tightly, rubbing her back, tracing her spine. They are still wet when they land on the bed, for a brief moment looking for protection before falling into each other once more.
"So what do you want to do? I mean you should probably figure this out?" Alec says laying on the bed,
Una looks at him, sitting up in the bed letting the expanse of her bare back come into view while reaching for her nightgown that was on the ground from earlier today. She picks up the empty wrapper and tosses it in the small trash can.
"Aren't we doing that?" Una says frowning, knowing full well they weren't. Every time she tried to even think about it, she felt terrified and tried to distract them from it all.
"I believe we spent more time avoiding conversation than talking about what you should do," Alec says almost carefully.
"This isn't exactly an easy choice or decision Alec. This is my life." Una looks at him.
"Neither was the choice that put you in this moment, but you made it…so something needs to be worked on or decided. Even your father sees that." Alec reminds her as his accent is cutting in thick.
"I don't know what to do Alec, it all seems crazy. Stay here and deal with him, impose on my aunt again and be further away from you." Una says groaning. "Or what move to England? Find a visa? Be away from my family even more? Nothing makes sense Alec, I want it all but at the same time, nothing about what I want makes sense. I don't even think I am making sense?"
"Luv, love, shh," Alec reaches for her and she almost flinches away from him.
"Don't call me that," Una says quietly. "I know it's a British thing, but it just throws me."
"So what I'm getting from this then is that you'll sleep with me, but you won't actually be with me," Alec says brow furrowing.
"I didn't say that!" Una cries.
"In between the lines you did," He shakes his head.
"I didn't mean it like that! Now you're just twisting my words, my god he would do that same thing all the damn time." She snaps.
"I twisted nothing, all I did was just try and decipher what the hell you want Una. Because you'll be with me, you'll sleep with me, but the moment I try to make thing something tangible, to have some sort of idea of what you want, whether to help you get out of this place or to some sort of decision, to tell you that I love you….you pull away from this, from everything. I can be patient, I can be understanding, but this getting exhausting Una. You want me, but don't want me at the same time. Really I thought you would be above this sort of thing after everything he put you through?"
"I didn't ask you to come here Alec, you did that yourself," Una reminds him angrily.
"Of course, right," Alec says bitterly. "Forgive me for caring and worrying about you after you spent the night crying that I would understand to everyone who was there."
Una sighs, pulling herself into a ball. The time on the clock changes to 12:30, past midnight and yet his phone buzzes
"It's my mother, she probably forgot the time difference," he says looking at the quiet form that was Una. She doesn't look at him.
"Let me guess she thinks I'm crazy and that you need to just cut me loose?" Una says bitterly.
"To the contrary," Alec informs her tossing her his phone. "Read for yourself."
'Christ Alec, no wonder she's spinning out. You're asking a lass you met two months ago to up and move her life and everything she's known. She's probably traumatized from everything, that poor dear. Add the fact that clearly, she feels something for you, so falling for you is only making her overthink and panic because she's probably thinking of she falls in love again it will be the same thing over again. Is she better off away from him of course, but you can't force her without driving her away love? She's allowed to be confused and wishy-washy right now, if she wasn't I would be more worried! But being how you are, sprouting off proposals and always being ready to jump into things isn't going to work this time Alec, Don't be your father in times like this.
"Look I'm not asking you to come and get married, I know I joke around about that, I just want you to be happy, and safe," Alec says quietly. "I didn't mean to press it, I just didn't want to leave and not know if you're still going to him bursting into your work, or ruining nights out with your siblings or friends."
"Can I talk to your mom?" Una asks quietly which she can only guess shocks Alec as it takes him a moment to nod his head. "Not that it means anything, but she seems to understand on some sort of level?" Una explains to him.
"Of course. I'll see when she's available," Alec says nodding his head.
Poems Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti,
The Soul has Bandaged moments - (360)-by Emily Dickenson.