"You can't actually mean to drag me to church?" Alec groans into his pillow the next morning

"It's at 10 am, it's not like it's the 8 am one," Una tells him from her vanity as she brushes through the loose curls she made. "Now get up," she tells him. "If you're a good boy, I'll reward you later," she grins.

"You are positively a heathen," Alec shakes his head rolling out of the bed.

"Got you out of the bed?" Una says shaking her head and going over to her chest of drawers and assessing her clothing choices. She grabs her black skirt, tea length with a slit on one side, and then goes to another drawer and pulls out a light blue floral shirt to wear with it. She was already in her bra and panties. She sits down rolling up her tights to pull and wiggle them on before her skirt.

She's finished dressing when Alec comes out of the bathroom, freshly shaved and dressed in his work pants a fresh shirt he left here the last time that Una washed for him.

"Why do I have to go!" Una hears the younger Keaton complain as she walks in for breakfast.

"Because it's Church and you need some sort of church in your life," her grandmother says to her granddaughter.

"I didn't bring anything for church," Felicity says thinking it would get her out of it.

"I'm sure Una has something that would fit you, you're about the same size," Giselle tells her next

"She has like no boobs and dresses like a Librarian," Felicity groans.

"A sexy one, at least," Alec chirps and grins as he kisses Una before reaching for the bacon and getting swatted by his grandmother and girlfriend at the same time.

"I do have regular clothes," Una says cautiously but rolls her eyes at Alec.

"You don't even believe in that stuff and yet you're going?" Felicity ignores Una looking at her brother. "You said Church was stupid and god wasn't real."

Una looks over to Alec who sighed.

"Sometimes people teach us things and frankly Flicka if it makes Una happy I'll wander through a thousand churches. I mean it's not like she's praying to the satanic temple or dancing naked in the moonlight like pagans tend to do, though the latter might be fun to watch," he grins at the end and Una swats at him again. "She's far from forcing me to do something if I'm ultimately okay with it."

It was after breakfast when Giselle pushes Felicity to borrow clothes and Una shyly lets her into her room. The bed is still mused from Alec sleeping in, the drawer still open from looking for her lotion and pills.

"These should work for you," Una says handing over a pair of cords that were stretchy and high-waisted and a sweater that was soft and cropped shorter. "As you said I'm not entirely gifted in the bust department, sadly my sister got the boobs and not me."

"You have a sister?" Felicity says rather surprised.

"I do, she's in nursing school and engaged, I also have three brothers one older who is the eldest and two others are eighteen and eleven." She explains.

Una sits in the congregation this time, begging out of the choir for the day as Alec was home. Giselle and Felicity on the other side of Alec, more than once Giselle's friends commented on the presence of her grandchildren, and that Alec had found a lovely lady in Una which made her blush.

Somehow they got dragged into the coffee social afterwards. Abby is there with Violet, who were talking to other mothers of the group but still beckons Una over to them.

"Oh beware of that look young man, she'll be wanting a baby of her own soon enough," she hears someone tell Alec.

"I think they can wait a little while," Giselle says airily. "No need to be a great-grandmother yet, I am not that old."

"Isn't it a bit hypocritical to be fawning over the babies, when she had an abortion," Felicity says and everyone turns to Una. The girl who is part of the choir and helps with Sunday school and Wednesday bible study.

"Flicka," Alec growls. "Don't say things like that, it's rude and untruthful." Trying to cover the situation.

"You said it though," Felicity says. "I heard you say those exact words, so don't tell me I'm lying!"

"You told her?" Una blanches wanting to escape but is also hurt that Alec told someone. She barely notices the baby being taken by its parent in almost Christian-like disgust.

"I didn't," Alec rushes in. "I mean it," he tries to make her believe him.

"So what it's the truth is it not, and it's disgusting watching her with the babies. If abortion is a sin, why is she here? Being gushed over as some righteous holy virgin Mary when all they do is have sex and get rid of the consequences."

"Felicity," Giselle hisses. "Clearly you are still not old enough for polite company,"

"I think in moments like that compassion is what is needed most and to remember that in our past that men of clergy have helped women in times of need. Better safe than in a back alleyway with a dirty knife," The reverend steps in to say unabashedly.

Still, Una looks around for the nearest exit, she hears Alec call for her but she can't seem to stop or breathe.

"I swear I never told her, I never told anyone so I don't know how she knows or found out but I swear Una I would have never given her that sort of ammunition." Alec pleads with her through the open halls once at home. Was this home now?

"Then how Alec? I never told your grandmother or your mother either. How? And don't you dare say she saw it on your phone or overheard us talking one day?" Una shouts, tears still streaking her cheeks."

"Why not? We talked about it plenty in the summer and she could have easily heard before school. I don't know Una, but it's not my place to tell people, so I don't. I haven't even told my mother, do you know how hard it is to explain him and the situation without a huge part of the story? It's not easy but I managed it."

"Then how Alec? How?"

"I don't know Una! But we can easily find out if we stop shouting at each other and just ask her!" Alec reminds her, turning at the sound of footsteps. "You, I am going to bloody murder you for that Felicity, how dare you!"

"How dare I? How the hell are you with someone who did what she did!" Felicity yells back.

"Why does it even matter? It's not a man's fucking choice, would you let a man tell you what to do or chose Lissy!" Alec throws his hands up in the air.

"Of course not! But she didn't even consult you!" Lissy's voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Consult me, why would she consult me?" Alec's voice bellows and for the first time, Una thinks she understands the hostility.

"Felicity, when do you think this happened?" She asks quietly.

"Well, clearly the summer, and then something happened because he missed my school concert to go to Canada to see you about needing to be with you." She spits out to Una's direction.

"Oh, no," Una says shaking her head. "No, no, you have it all wrong, all of that happened long before I met your brother." She tries to tell the younger girl. "Well, almost a year before? A good nine months to be exact."

"You're lying," Felicity shakes her head stubbornly.

Una shakes her head,

"His name was Walter, and he was my best friend, but I was never his and one afternoon he used that to his advantage. It was winter, it was cold and snowing, what should have been an experience of my life, was not cherished or regarded in any regard."

"Una you don't have to—," Alec tries to tell her.

"No apparently I do," Una shakes her head.

"Well, maybe not in the middle of the hallway then?" He sighs.

Una nods and walks down to her room. She goes through her drawers and pulls out a journal.

November 14th, 2021

I think….No, I can't write it.

Oh my god, it happened. .!

November 17th 2021

Something is up with Walter, I thought. I thought because of the other day that it would be different now, but it isn't. He flirted with another girl right and front of me and questioned why I looked annoyed or angry. Seriously!

November 21st 2021

I think I made the worst mistake of my life.

Walter and I watched a movie at his place, curled up on his bed in the basement. I don't know why he kissed me but I happily kissed him back. It all happened so fast, the kisses that suddenly went in another direction without any warning. His hands guided mine to his pants, and the look on his face when he realized I was in pain. I mean he had to have known? Still that fleeting moment of something building and soaring, only to be greeted with another uncomfortable moment, it only lasts a moment and it did feel good after the initial awkwardness I adjusted and I don't know got into it a bit more. Faith says sex is fun and orgasm is undeniable and mind-numbing.

I don't think I had one. I don't think he even noticed.

December 2nd 2021

I'm pregnant…..

December 10th 2021

I decided the only choice I had. I saw it on the screen and I was I numb. The poor technician didn't know what to say or do. You think I was the first pregnant teenager she had to do this for?
Choices.

I chose my own life, I can't…he'll never know

It's two pills.

He'll never have to know.

December 13th 2021

In the hospital, apparently, I hemorrhaged. Dad is trying to reassure me that nothing changes his love for me or any of his children. I want to believe him, but I just want…. I just want it to be over with.

January—-9th 2022

How does one say goodbye? I thought this would be easier, but I just keep wondering if it be easier to not feel anymore

January 10th 2022

Momma.

Thank you.

January 18th 2022

He knows, he barrelled into my room and screamed. Dad offered me a reprieve from this town, he's going to call Aunty Lydia.

July 20th 2022

I just met and spent the train debating Tess D'uberville with a stranger. It was exhilarating and crazy at the same time. Part of me wishes we exchanged some sort of information. I think…I think it was the first time I laughed as I did in a long time. I don't know why I told him my story, maybe it was Tess hitting so close to home.

He didn't seem to judge me.

July 23rd 2022

Alec was at my hotel… it was magical. I don't know why I knocked on his door, but I did. I understand it now, what Faith was talking about…how sex can be on another level of knowing someone.
Was safe about it, and told me to tell him if anything happens anyway.

July 25th, 2022

The book is at the bottom of the Rhine, if he wants he can come to get himself.

"Is this proof enough?" Una asks her, still heading a photo of the screen at the clinic. She didn't know why she took it…but she did. She has tears streaming down her face. "Is this enough? Is this what you wanted?

The look on the teen's face suddenly becomes pensive and not hostile.

"Just go to your room," Alec tells his sister sternly towards the door to his grandmother.

"I'll make sure she doesn't leave," she tells Alec.

"Also Una, don't worry so much about the congregation, half of them had children out of wedlock, and the other half well they would have to eat their own remarks if they ever tried to shame you for your choices," she tries to make the girl feel better. "I'll send Sarah up with some tea."

Una snorts through snotty tears. Of course Tea.

"I'm sorry," Una hears from her spot where she was curled up. Her dinner was still left uneaten on the tray. Alec was trying to find someone to take his shift, so he could stay an extra day and talk to his mother about Felicity. "I know it won't make a difference, but I am."

"You're right, it does mean nothing right now," Una says bitterly. "I don't care how bitter or jealous you were, that was cruel. I have done nothing to you and you make my past, my choices something to be gossiped about in the middle of church! You have no idea what I have been through, how much I've worked through, what he is like and how I had to leave my own bloody home to feel safe? You don't know how many times he harassed me, or even Alec when he was there in October."

"I didn't…" Felicity tries to justify, or excuse herself.

"You didn't, and instead of just asking and letting us correct you explained in a way that makes me feel comfortable. You rather hurt me and consequently your brother in the process. Trust me, I know this is all fast and that is exactly why I am here and not up in the lakes with your brother. We both acknowledge that despite our wanting to be together, this is better in the long run of things. You're what fourteen? Alec is ten years older than you and I know from my own siblings that when you lose a parent you make up for it in other ways together. I get it, Alec was more than just the older brother, much like faith was more the. My older sister at times, even when I love Rosemary. But that doesn't give you any right to do what you did. "

"Did he really date rape you?"

"Pardon?" Una asks instantly confused.

"The guy? He just got you to sleep with him? Did you even tell him it was what you wanted? Did you tell him no?"

Una sighs. "Trust me, I was extremely willing, I was desperate for any sort of approval and attention. It wasn't the first time he kissed me,' it being a lousy experience doesn't mean I didn't consent to it."

"But he didn't even ask you, he just assumed how is that consent?"

"Beyond contrary beliefs…Consent isn't always verbal?" Una sighs. "While I didn't tell him no either, consent was extremely implied?" Is this what sex Ed was like these days? Una thinks to herself. "I don't think… I don't he would have pushed it…. He's a good person underneath all the hurt and torture we did to each other," Una sighs.

"Like Taylor Swift says in Happiness?"

"Huh?"

"She says in a song, that no one tells you what to do when a good man hurts you, and you know you hurt him too. Along with making people a villain doesn't make the problem go away,"

"I guess so, Una says sighing. As this goes on she watches the moody hostile teen change slowly. "You and your friends? You're all okay right?" She asks even though she really isn't much older than the girl.

"I go to an all-girls school," she says simply.

"Oh," Una says nodding even more confused but Felicity continues on.

"I mean Kaylee sneaks out to see her boyfriend at night, and Emma I'm pretty sure is crushing on the English professor, i mean he is young and cute and flirts back…with all of us really, Elena well she's constantly hoping she's not pregnant." It tumbles out of the young girl's mouth.

Una looks at her rather shocked.

"Was school not like that for you?" Felicity asks.

"No, it was not…" Una says shaking her head."It was pretty mundane and boring, we moved my first year of high school, I had been fourteen."

"Felicity Artelia!" Una hears the familiar voice of Amelia. "You better have a good explanation why you're bloody fucking suspended from school and why your brother is scathing at you!"

Una watches the girl blanch before running from the room. Una sighs and curls back into her bed. She must have fallen asleep, and as she feels arms around her, they tighten as she stirs a bit. A kiss on her shoulder

"What did I miss?" Una asks quietly.

"Nothing much, just teenage drama," Alec tells her with another kiss on the back of her neck.

"Apparently she got suspended from school for two weeks? Something about yelling at a teacher about something that she didn't think was fair?" He finishes with a sigh.

"High school can be rough," Una says with her eyes closed. "She was getting real chatty before your mother came looking for her. Something about boys being snuck into dorms, and some hot teacher that flirts back at them?"

"Pardon?" Alec says sitting up. "Their teacher flirts with them?"

"I'm sure he doesn't, actually flirt with them," Una tries to calm him down. "I mean obviously I don't know for sure, but teenage girls can easily take a teacher being nice to them as flirting sometimes, I'm sure that posh school of hers wouldn't actually let a creep teach her?"

"Still something to look out for," Alec sighs.

"I didn't really get a chance to clarify about it, I can try?" Una tells him. "She seemed remorseful about everything when she came to apologize? Maybe a bit confused since she asked if he really date-raped me. I tried to explain that consent isn't always verbal, and that I went along with it. I tried to tell her that if I had told him that I was uncomfortable or told him no he would have most likely stopped?"

"Only most likely though?" Alec frowns.

"He would have stopped," Una corrects herself, but with all the doubt lingering from the explanations she begins to wonder if he would have.

Alec nods his head and moves away from her.

"Try and eat something, I'm going to go have a shower do you need anything?" He asks sitting up in bed. "Unless you wish to join me?

Una shakes her head and lets him kiss her gently before he wanders over to her bathroom.

She looks at her phone beside her, sighs and waits another moment before reaching for it once more and going to her notes and writing it out. Because that is all she could do, he was all but wiped from her phone.

If I had told you on that day if I had stopped you….would you have been angry?

She types out then tosses her phone aside once more. No one would ever answer that honestly without lying. Who would admit it?