Chapter 6
He had taken her keys from her and she had given them to him willingly, sliding into the passenger seat of her car.
"Call the school. Let them know that I'll be picking up Noah," he comments from the drivers seat, merging into traffic.
She hadn't even thought of having to walk into the building and face the people, who, rationally she knows are only doing their job, but still feels some anger towards. Dialling the school, she waits for the secretary to pick-up.
Rafael listens to the one-sided conversation.
"Hi, this is Olivia Benson. I'd like to add someone to the pick-up list...Rafael Barba. That's right. He'll be in shortly to pick up Noah. Thank you."
Traffic, thankfully is slow for this time of day and it doesn't take them long to reach Noah's school.
"I'll be right back," he says, sliding out of the drivers seat.
...
Rafael feels incredibly out of place as he walks the halls of the elementary school towards the office. Everything is so small and there's singing coming from down the hall and he's sure that it's vomit he's smelling.
The office door is propped open and he's grateful that he doesn't have to touch anything else. "Can I help you?" The elderly woman at the desk questions.
He wants to point out that she had literally just asked that question when she buzzed him in, but he refrains. "I'm here to pick up Noah Porter-Benson."
The woman puts on her glasses. "Your name?"
"Rafael Barba."
She looks at him over her glasses. "And what's your relationship to Noah?" He's annoyed now. "Does it matter? I'm on the list."
"Your ID?"
Rafael pulls out his wallet, showing her his ID.
The secretary gives him a look before reaching for the phone. "Hi. Can you bring Noah up. He's being picked up early. Thank you." She hangs up the phone. "He'll be right up."
"Thank you."
The minutes tick by and he stands awkwardly in the office until Noah comes into view with his teacher.
"Uncle Rafa!" He greets happily, barrelling into him.
Rafael runs his fingers through his hair, giving him a hug. "Ready to go?"
His teacher offers him his backpack, and he takes it, thanking her. Without a backwards glance to the secretary, Rafael takes Noah's hand heading for the exit.
...
The scars feel as fresh as they did when Lewis had inflicted them on her. The warm water cascades around her and no amount of scrubbing makes her feel any less used.
It had been months since she last thought of him, of those 2 days of torture and while she logically knows that trauma can resurface so unpredictably, she's still angry at herself for allowing him to still have this power over her.
Shutting the water off, she grabs her towel. It chaffs against her skin, reminding her of every single scar on her body. Towelling off quickly she avoids the mirror knowing that seeing them now will only cause her to unravel more. She roots for something comfortable to wear, something that will distract her enough to not feel all the ways Lewis had marred her body.
She runs a brush through her hair pulling it into a quick pony tail. She wants to crawl into her bed, let the darkness swallow her up until she falls asleep.
Noah.
Tears prick her eyes.
The reason that I fought so hard to stay alive, was for Noah. And I hadn't even met him yet. Wiping her eyes, she takes a steading breath.
...
Noah sits at the coffee table, eating the Chinese food he had ordered in, oblivious to what's settled in the apartment. Liv had been cheerful enough when her son had climbed into the backseat of her car, and Noah didn't question when she retreated to her room to take a shower. And maybe he was reading too much into it, but he can feel it.
Her pain.
So when she finally emerges from her room, fresh faced and her damp hair in a ponytail, Rafael has to swallow his sigh. Even with her watery gaze, even with how utterly defeated she seems, she's still beautiful.
Crossing the room to join them, she leans down kissing the top of Noah's curly head. "I love you, sweet boy."
Noah smiles, looking up at her. "Love you too, Mom."
She frames her hands around his face, just looking at him, which causes the boy to drop his fork and rise to his feet. Without a word between them, Liv lifts him into her arms, settling into the couch beside him.
Noah seems to intuit what his mother needs and he settles into her arms. It's such a tender moment between the two of them that Rafael almost feels uncomfortable being there, watching them.
"I am strong," Noah begins from her shoulder.
"And am capable of anything I set my mind to," Olivia adds.
"I'm worthy of happiness," Noah continues.
"And of love," Olivia finishes.
Pulling back, Noah looks into her eyes. "I am enough."
Olivia smiles through her tears, nodding. "I am enough."
Noah smiles too. "Better?"
Olivia nods.
"Good!" Noah climbs off her lap, returning to his dinner and the cartoons on the TV.
Rafael doesn't know what to say, to do, in the wake of what he's just witnessed. He wipes his eyes, looking over at her. She wipes her eyes too and he moves across the couch towards her. She moves into his arms, resting her head on his chest.
Noah giggles at the cartoon, and he just holds her.
...
He has to smile at the way Noah's toes wiggle along to Hakuna Matata. While he's curled into his mother, Liv is curled into him and he relishes in the way her body has softened into his. He let's his fingers sift through her hair every now and then, dares to let his lips to brush her forehead.
She doesn't balk at the intimacy blossoming between them, seeking it out from him and it's a fine line he's walking between taking it slow and moving too fast.
He doesn't want to fuck this up.
"They do an incredible job of this song on the Broadway show," he comments.
"What's Broadway?" Noah questions.
"What's Broadway?" He repeats in disbelief.
Noah turns to look up at him.
"It's..." He searches for the right words. "It's like that first bite of chocolate cake. It's like your Mom's best hug, it's like the warm sun on your face...it's...magic, Noah."
"I want to go to Broadway!"
Olivia chuckles. "Someday, maybe."
There's a knock on the door, and she looks down at Noah. "Did you invite someone over?" He shakes his head. "Nope. You did."
Olivia shakes her head. "I didn't." She unfurls from the couch and Noah happily takes her spot, curling into Rafael. Looking through her peephole, she finds Shelia Porter on the other side flanked by a male and female police officers.
"Everything ok?" Rafael questions.
"Noah, could you go to your room please." It's not a question, and Noah knows it, climbing off the couch to head to his room. "Close the door behind you, sweet boy."
Rafael unfurls from the couch. "Liv?"
There's another knock at the door, and she jumps.
He crosses the room to look through the peephole. "Is that who I think it is?"
She nods. "Shelia Porter." Opening the door, she attempts to keep her voice calm. "Evening officers, what brings you by?"
"We're here for a wellness check, Ma'am," the female officer explains.
"I'm fine-"
"- I want to see my grandson," Shelia cuts her off. "I need to see that he's alright!"
She ignores her, addressing the officers. "I'm not sure how much Mrs. Porter has told you, but I'm Lieutenant Olivia Benson of the Manhattan SVU."
"Do you have a firearm on the premises?" The male officer questions. "I do-"
"-can you take a step outside, Ma'am?" He questions over her.
Rafael side steps her in the doorway. "She will do no such thing. I'm ADA Rafael Barba and unless Mrs. Porter wants to find herself being charged with filling a false police report, I suggest you leave now."
"I'm not leaving here until I see that Noah is ok!"
"Then you'll be leaving here in handcuffs," Rafael warns.
It's a silent, tense minute before Shelia relents, heading back to the elevator. The two officers stand awkwardly in the hallway.
"I want your ID and badge numbers," Rafael requests. "Now."
The female officer takes out her notepad, writing down the information. "We're just doing our jobs."
Rafael takes the piece of paper from her. "Sure you are." He holds the male officers gaze before closing the door in their faces, promptly turning the lock. He mutters something in Spanish under his breath before turning to her. "Has she ever done that before?"
She shakes her head. "I don't even know how she got my home address." The adrenaline causes her hands to shake and she clasps them together tightly, holding them against her mouth. "I don't even want to think about what could have happened if you hadn't been here. She could have taken Noah, Rafa."
He's already reaching for his phone and she recognizes that look in his eyes; he's not pulling his punches. "I'm requesting a meeting first thing tomorrow morning with Judge Linden. She can't just show up at your house with two police officers."
"Mommy?"
Noah's tiny voice comes from a crack in his bedroom door and she can see his blue eyes full of tears. "Oh, sweet boy," she soothes, going to him. He emerges from his room and Olivia lifts him into her arms.
"Why were there police here? Are we in danger?"
"No, we're not in danger," she reassures. "They were just doing their jobs, honey...you did such a good job, listening. Going straight to your room."
He nods into her shoulder. "Can we finish the movie?"
Kissing the side of his head, she rubs his back. "It's late, honey. Maybe we should save the rest of the movie for later?"
As if on cue, Noah yawns. "Ok."
"Say goodnight to Uncle Rafa."
Pulling back out of her arms, Noah looks sadly at Rafael. "Goodnight Uncle Rafa."
Rafael reaches for him, and he willing goes from his mothers arms to his. "Why the long face, amguito?"
Noah rests his head on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his neck. "...I miss you when you're gone."
He might as well have punched him in the throat; it would have had the same effect. "Would you miss me less if I took you to school tomorrow?"
The little boy pulls back, smiling. "Promise?" "I promise."
Tbc