Chapter 13

He's like the wind

"Nami-san, here is the moist fig, honey and almond cake I told you about this morning!"

"Already?"

"The recipe is very simple; I didn't have to do much!"

Installed on her deckchair to enjoy the few rays of morning sun filtering through the clouds, the navigator placed her book on her knees then leaned towards the cook's tray to choose a slice. On the other side of the small table set up on the deck, Robin was also offered a small plate and Nami sat up as she bit into the fondant cake.

"It's amazing how much difference the variety of honey makes," She noted with wonder.

"The taste is much more pronounced than last time," The archaeologist approved after tasting in turn.

"Buckthorn honey is much more fruity than strawberry tree honey, but I wanted to play on the contrasts thanks to the sugar in the figs!"

"Well, it's just as delicious," The redhead was delighted as the cook twirled with happiness around her.

Sanji then put two cups of mint-scented tea down for the girls before his captain arrived with his tongue hanging out, drawn in by the good smell.

"Hey, Sanji, I want some!"

The blond handed him a plate and Luffy literally sucked up its contents in seconds. Shaking his head, his cook gave their shares to the rest of his crewmates who had gathered around them. He also offered them a cup of tea as an accompaniment and soon, everyone was sitting on the deck to enjoy their snack with relish. The weather was deteriorating as the hours passed and Nami had predicted rain by the end of the day but in the meantime, everyone was making the most of the still pleasant air outside.

Busy lifting his dumbbells near the mast, Zoro didn't even make a move to approach. It had now been days since they had left the island of flowers and he couldn't take the smell of honey in all its forms anymore. He felt that he had already made a considerable effort to swallow most of the dishes without complaining too much. Even if Sanji made sure to vary his preparations, the sugar prevailed in most cases and the swordsman was tired of swallowing his anger at the same time as his meals. Indeed, the blond was back to spoiling his friends beyond reason and his crewmates were brought by the treats the cook was able to produce with his new ingredients.

The fencer frowned as he kept his eyes on the sea to maintain his concentration, blocking the laughter and merry conversation a few feet away from him. Sanji might be extra careful and he didn't drown his companions under food like before, but Zoro couldn't help noticing that his agitation had in no way diminished. The blond tried to remain discreet and hide his impatience and turmoil under an apparent detachment but when he brought them their snacks, Zoro felt the nervousness mark each of his steps and in the galley while the crew feasted, his hands were always moving nervously on the work plan as if he tried to prevent them from starting a new preparation.

Zoro gritted his teeth, his eyes still fixed on the open sea. Despite what the cook might think, what he was doing was visible for miles around and the swordsman felt the fury take over him. Sanji didn't understand and worse, he was now knowingly misleading the crew in an attempt to make it look like he was getting better. How far would this idiot go to deny what was really eating him up inside? His cowardly and despicable attitude made his stomach turn at least as much as that sickening smell of hot honey.

"Take your share, moron. I've got better things to do than bring it to you."

"Get that thing out of my face."

The fencer was furious and he made a sudden movement to push the blond away, but the cook was too close and his gesture destabilized his plate when he jumped aside to escape Zoro's dumbbell. The cake and teacup swayed dangerously and Sanji barely caught them. He then glared at the swordsman who was now ostensibly turning his back on him.

"What's the matter with you, shitty bastard?! If you mess up the food, I'll make you eat it from the floor!"

"Pack up your fucking food and don't you dare come near me or you'll regret it."

Sanji stared at his crewmate's figure for a second, gaping at the fierce aggression that was clearly emanating from him. Zoro could be rude when disturbed during his training but at this moment, Sanji knew that the fencer's words shouldn't be taken lightly. If the cook tried to raise this issue again, the electricity he perceived in the air would ignite in an uncontrollable passage of arms and he could get burned.

Feeling as angry as he was hurt by this treatment he didn't understand, Sanji abruptly turned on his heels. "Go starve to death then. Not that I care."

Zoro kept staring straight ahead and the rhythm of his flexing didn't vary. Behind him, he heard Sanji slam the galley door and he felt the eyes of his crewmates silently following his gestures. He completely ignored them.

By the time the blond had called his friends for dinner that evening, the rain had been falling for several hours already and the afternoon had slowly stretched between games and the various tasks that needed to be done. As the meal ended, Sanji gave a small basket to Chopper whose large eyes lit up.

"It's your snack for tonight since you're on watch," He showed him, "I put several honey cakes and a thermos of hot chocolate."

"I can't wait! Thank you, Sanji!"

The little reindeer then ran out of the room as his captain chased after him with his mouth watering and the cook ventured to glance in the direction of the swordsman while he tied up his work plan. Zoro was still sitting at the table. He was finishing his dish in silence in the middle of the light conversations of their other companions who had almost finished their desserts and Sanji quickly turned away so as not to be caught.

Zoro had shown up late but at least, he had come, unlike lunch which he had completely skipped. At that moment, still too furious with the fencer, Sanji had given his plate to the straw hat boy who had hastened to devour it. The cook had then started the afternoon seething with rage, but as the rain had set in, his resentment had turned into melancholy.

While he had cleaned his galley to the sound of the rain hitting the tiles, Sanji had indeed considered their altercation from another angle. He knew that the swordsman had been watching him with a sharp eye since his panic attack and he was even more aware that Zoro must have seen through his attitude since their departure from the last island. The swordsman must have noticed that he was still trying to hold himself back from cooking while trying to demonstrate to their friends that he was back to normal.

In this regard, the blond didn't deny that he still felt invaded by stress sometimes. He repressed it with difficulty and his need to keep busy hadn't really diminished. He had simply become better at hiding it and under the guise of selflessly offering his help, he managed to spend quieter hours between household chores, Luffy's games, gardening for the girls and the inventions of Usopp and Franky. Cooking didn't occupy all of his time anymore but Sanji didn't rest more. He was just more careful not to run from one end of the ship to the other and he was taking his cigarette breaks in plain sight so that everyone would notice he wasn't overworked.

The cook knew his behavior was kind of pathetic and it was also the reason why his anger towards Zoro had faded. The fencer probably found him pitiful and Sanji himself wasn't far from thinking so. That's why he hadn't shouted at the swordsman when he had finally shown up for dinner and he had even planned to serve him a different dessert from that of the others. After all, Sanji knew that giving sweet dishes to Zoro every day didn't improve his mood and somehow, he hoped to show his goodwill to his crewmate in this way. Ask him to be patient with him and not judge him too harshly. Admittedly, the blond wasn't acting as he should yet but he was sincerely trying and knowing that the swordsman condemned him bluntly didn't help him to get back on track.

"Here, mosshead. I made a lemon pie."

As he set down the plate, looking falsely casual, Sanji didn't mention that the rest of their friends had enjoyed a chestnut pie topped with sweet whipped cream even if the swordsman must have noticed. He just hoped that Zoro would understand his desire to bury the hatchet and that the atmosphere would finally become less oppressive between them.

The fencer swallowed his part while totally ignoring him though, but the blond went back to his work plan deciding that it was a good start. So it was with a real smile that he grabbed a cup and two teapots before walking towards him again.

"Green or mint tea? I didn't add any honey for you."

In response, the swordsman got up without glancing at him, clearly ready to leave. "I need to get back to my training."

Sanji frowned. "Don't you wanna take the time to finish your meal? If you'd rather, I can make something you can eat later or-"

"I told you to stop pestering me."

The cook stared at his crewmate, looking haggard, and Zoro glared at him with contempt. "I know you'd love to have an excuse to cook more but don't expect me to fall for it. I know exactly what you're doing."

At these words, Sanji put his teapots on the table. "I'm not looking for an excuse. I just wanted to do my job properly, you didn't eat lunch."

"If you wanna do your job properly, cut the shit. Until you do, there's no point for you to talk to me."

The swordsman walked out the door without another look for anyone and Sanji took a second to catch his breath. Behind his back, he felt the worried and destabilized gazes of the rest of his companions so he hurriedly turned around to bring back his teapots, plastering a smile on his lips.

"What an ingrate he is…"

Zoro climbed directly to the crow's nest, glaring and angry. He ignored Luffy who was still running after Chopper to steal his lunch box and quickly close the hatch behind him. He then grabbed his dumbbell and positioned himself to continue his training as he had stated earlier. Not for long.

Very quickly indeed, his fury left him and the fencer put down his dumbbell wearily. He was angry with himself after replying to the blond so brutally. While this morning he had thought Sanji deserved it, this evening, he doubted his reaction was justified. The cook had probably tried to smooth things over with a less sweet dessert for him, but the fencer had only interpreted it as yet another excuse to calm his own frenzies. It was likely that the blond had been sincere though if Zoro judged by his sad look when the swordsman had pushed him away. Shouldn't he have been furious with his crewmate or simply indifferent if he had only tried to cook? Sanji could have taken their friends to witness and took advantage of it to demonstrate that the fencer was only trying to hound him no matter what he did.

Zoro sighed before letting his gaze wander beyond the bay windows against which gusts of rain were still crashing. His emotions were misleading him and he had probably been unfair to his crewmate. Since their departure from Wano, he couldn't understand the cook and his frustration made him lose ground.

Sanji had always had that effect on him. Since the first day they met, the blond had seemed elusive and the latest events only reinforced his conviction. Sanji was an enigma he had never fully unraveled.

From his point of view, the cook proved to be as capricious as the wind and many times, like a cooling summer breeze, Zoro had enjoyed his company before a gust suddenly came to destabilize the atmosphere. The tension could then be overwhelming between them, just like the summer sky is thick with electricity before the swirling wind finally rises to announce a storm that could be life-saving but also violent, and always unpredictable. Sanji could become a real hurricane in a fit of anger then and at this moment, his intensity became devastating.

This permanent uncertainty was as fascinating as it was exasperating, but as their adventures progressed, Zoro had understood that he found this mystery captivating, he who swore by the absolute control of his body and art.

The discovery of the call of their senses had been just another step in the same direction towards an intimacy both unsuspected and so natural that Zoro hadn't thought of questioning it. The alchemy they had found had allowed him to interpret the faster beating of his heart like so many links that tied him to that of the cook when their eyes met in the dark of the crow's nest, panting and their skins still glistening with sweat. Zoro had been intoxicated by this feeling he didn't know but that he had immediately trusted. Wasn't Sanji bringing him this constant tension that forced him to never slacken? Didn't he force the fencer to adapt at every moment to perfect his techniques and sharpen his mind? Wasn't the blond that other side of the same coin Zoro had always been?

Yet, like the wind, Sanji had continued to escape him. The cook had sometimes looked back at him to better ignore him the next day. He had given himself to Zoro without restraint and then pushed him away violently. He had been unpredictable and Zoro had let him because he had believed it was part of the game between them. He had believed that putting words to their relationship could shake the harmony they had created. Break the indecision and turn it into certainty. Habit was their enemy and Zoro hadn't wanted to alter this ongoing challenge, this bond they had built. So he had accepted his companion's silence. Until Sanji had really disappeared.

It was when he had come back, when Zoro had understood that the blond wasn't quite the same anymore, that the balance had been broken. This time, the gap was too big and Zoro's confusion was complete. The wind blew between them like in the middle of the desert and there was no obstacle that could have allowed the fencer to know what he should be looking for to reveal what had happened to the blond during his absence.

Now the swordsman didn't know what he had wanted to see in his crewmate. Did Zoro believe he could tame the wind? That he could make an ally of it? That it could push him in the right direction, the direction of his goal? Was he blinded by the dazzling light that so often came from the cook? Had he confused temptation with passion? Had Sanji manipulated him without even noticing, dangling a world the swordsman craved because it brought together determination and emotions, a unique combination he couldn't find with anyone else?

Zoro turned away from the bay window against which the rain was still beating. Whatever he thought he had seen for them, he had lost it. Sanji had decided to take a path he couldn't follow and that realization was the bitterest of all. Because beyond the hours they had shared physically, they had also lost the blind trust they had always had in each other in its wake.

After the door had closed behind the fencer, Sanji had immediately gathered the cutlery and plates to start washing up. Jinbei had then got up, reminding that it was his turn to help his crewmate and the rest of their friends had got out pretty quickly.

A few minutes had passed in silence and Sanji was lost in thought as he automatically cleaned the dishes immersed in hot water before handing them to the Fish-Man who was drying them at his side. That's why he was surprised when Jinbei suddenly spoke.

"You and Zoro seem to be on pins and needles," Jinbei pointed out, "Even more so than when I saw you on Fishman Island."

"Don't mind us, we never knew how to get along," The blond answered, focusing on his dishes.

"That's not what Luffy told me."

The cook's hands froze in the water for a second before he slowly turned to his new crewmate. "What did he say?"

"That you two were his armed wings and that you could fight in perfect harmony without so much as a second thought."

Sanji looked down as he turned away to slowly pick up his dishes. "It was a long time ago."

Jinbei placed the dish on the pile he had started to form in front of him before grabbing the cutlery from the drainer. "He seems to be angry with you for some unknown reason. I tried to ask him about it but he didn't want to comment."

Despite himself, an amused smile stretched the cook's lips. "Zoro is a very stubborn person. If he has decided that he wouldn't talk, it's a waste of time."

"You two are more alike than you look."

Sanji looked at him questioningly and Jinbei nodded while putting the now dry cutlery in the drawer. "I trust his judgment and I also can sense that you're not entirely willing to tell us what you're going through. And just like him, I feel that it's useless to press you with questions because that wouldn't get you to confide."

The blond didn't add anything and the Fish-Man continued. "Unlike Zoro though, I don't blame you. I got a glimpse of what you went through on Whole Cake Island and I don't pretend to understand the consequences it may have had. But maybe does he feel left out? After all, despite your disputes, it takes unfailing respect for each other to back up a man with such a grand destiny as Luffy's."

"Zoro is one of the people I esteem the most in the world," His companion whispered, his eyes fixed on the soapy water around his hands, "We're just very different and sometimes, that difference wins out."

"Like I said, I think you two are more alike than you think."

Sanji slowly looked up at those words and Jinbei smiled. "I don't feel the least bit worried. Initially, I feared that this tension between you would affect your commitment to the crew but I see this isn't the case, just like the captain told me when I asked him."

The dishes being finished, Jinbei put down his dish towel after wiping his hands while his crewmate lowered his head, his blond locks totally obscuring his gaze.

"I don't question Luffy's words even if you don't know every detail," He finally whispered, "I made mistakes and I'm trying to fix them but Zoro is demanding and he doesn't admit weakness, even momentarily. So I'm not sure he still has much respect for me and somehow… I can't blame him."

"You know him better than me," His friend admitted while heading for the door. "Yet it seems to me that if he didn't have any consideration for you, he wouldn't care what happened to you. His anger today seems to be proof that he's probably only waiting for a sign from you."

Sanji shook his head before hearing the galley door close softly behind the Fish-Man. He then furtively wiped away a tear that had rolled down his cheek. Jinbei didn't know how much he wanted to believe that he hadn't ruined everything with the fencer already.

Amid the moving shadows of the sails on the deck, Sanji glanced at his crewmate leaning on the rail. The rain had stopped for a few minutes and a perfectly clear sky was now in view.

After cleaning his sink and putting away his last cutlery, the cook had gone out on deck to light a cigarette, still in the heat of his emotions. It was at this moment that he had seen him below.

Zoro was looking at the stars with intensity and the blond didn't dare approach him. A few weeks earlier, he wouldn't have hesitated to curl up around the fencer's back to whisper the most indecent proposals in his ear though. Zoro rarely resisted these promising words and the cook had used them at every opportunity.

During all those months, the swordsman had shown him infinite patience in addition to giving him total freedom. No questions. No requirements. No complaints. Just a desire born somewhere during those dark nights they had spent together. An invitation that Zoro had sometimes expressed half-heartedly, or sometimes even more modestly with a look or a silence.

The moonlight suddenly lit the swordsman's new sword at his waist and Sanji immediately looked away. He had held the world in his hands. But he had never known how to seize his chance.

Sanji stared at the sea, the smoke from his cigarette slowly billowing around him. Everything had changed since he had returned to the Sunny and his conversation with their new crewmate had made him realize how much he was solely responsible for the deterioration of his relationship with the swordsman. Zoro hadn't even blamed him for leaving their friends as Sanji had thought. He had only believed in Luffy and in his crewmate for making the best choices given the context. If he knew how far Sanji had fought not to return, no doubt his judgment would be even more implacable.

Zoro was like the winter wind. A hellish wind that kept coming back until its stinging bite had turned the skin to ice and froze the blood in the veins. Until death. He was like the fiercest storm during which the wind howled without stopping with such force that the trees bent under its anger and nature itself sank under the blanket of snow with which the wind covered every last piece of land. Zoro was the wind. He never got tired and kept roaring to deliver his message, even bending fate in his path to mold the landscape to his will.

The cook had been stupid to think that the swordsman would get past it and turn a blind eye to his behavior. He had been naive to think that Zoro would be willing to forget what he had seen and forgive him for the choices he had made.

The swordsman had always pushed each of his companions to their limits because it was his duty and why Luffy had chosen him. And today, Sanji was no exception. The fencer would give him no respite and he would have to face the intensity of the gusts of his fury alone because he had decided to stand alone against him. He could have found refuge with his friends but the blond had refused this possibility when deciding not to confide in them. From now on, he had to face the consequences of his actions because Zoro wouldn't flinch until the blond had assumed his responsibilities towards the crew as much as towards himself.

Sanji shivered as the night wind suddenly rushed under his jacket and his cigarette went out. Whatever happens, Zoro would be both his executioner and savior. He would be the one who would decide the cook's fate based on his attitude and Sanji wanted to believe Jinbei when he told him that the swordsman was only waiting for his next move to esteem him again. But Sanji still had to esteem himself enough to regain hope and while his gaze was drawn by the figure of the first mate once more, the blond measured all the distance that separated him from the man he had probably loved without ever daring to admit it.

Here is a kind of poetic chapter, I hope you like it!

Musical inspiration: She's like the wind - OST Dirty Dancing

Trailer parts: 6/16