Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets

by Derald Snyder

Snippet 20- And Now For Somewhere Completely Different, Part 3

"So, to summarize," Lady Laura Cobblemeyer began, "As a... Console Patron Unit, you must keep the citizens of your nation satisfied, or else you die and a new one is born to take your place."

"Yeah, that's right," Neptune affirmed. "But I think I've been doing a pretty bang-up job so far... I mean, I've had to deal with no less than three potentially world-ending crises, and come out smelling like a rose every time! Well, Nep Jr. and the other CPUs did their part too, but still..."

"Are we sure that you didn't just sit back and let them do most of the work?" Darren Jr. said skeptically. "Because you seem like the type that just lounges around, doing nothing..."

"That sounds familiar," Lady Laura said, her gaze sliding over to Rosette.

"Hey, low blow! Okay, so I can be a little on the lazy side sometimes, but when the chips are down, I pull my weight more than anyone else! You can ask Nep Jr. if ya don't believe me!"

"What are you looking at me like that for, Nanna?!" Rosette protested. "Like, just because no one wants to hire me for a job of any sort...!"

"You could try a little harder," Laura countered. "Perhaps I've spoiled you too much..."

"Really? Dad said you could be pretty strict sometimes when he was growing up," Corey spoke up.

"Well, grandparents do tend to spoil their grandchildren compared to their own kids growing up," Neptune pointed out. "At least, from what I've seen..."

"Yes, and there's also the fact that she's all Mother has left of Rose now..." Darren stated solemnly. "I miss her too. She always knew how to lift everyone's spirits..."

"That she did," Laura nodded. "I think that's why it hurt us so much when she was killed so senselessly..."

"Yeah... I totally wish I could have known my Mama," Rosette nodded. Just then, footsteps were heard outside. "Hey, is, like, Uncle Damien back already?"

"Oh no," Darren ducked his head. A moment later, the door opened, revealing a well-built man with short jet-black hair and black eyes, dressed in a black muscle shirt, rugged dark pants and black boots, a short sword strapped to his waist.

"Mother, I have returned from my expedition to exterminate the monsters infesting the southwest sector... oh, we have guests?" the man took notice of Neptune, before looking around, frowning upon locking eyes with Darren. "Well, well, if it isn't the baby black sheep."

"Hello, Damien," Darren Jr. said curtly, crossing his arms. "I see that you've still got that old chip on your shoulder. Roland still getting the better of you?"

"You have no right to speak of such things, little brother," Damien growled.

"Boys, be nice," Laura said sternly. "You're both grown-ups now, so act like it."

"Of course, Mother," Damien nodded. "I'm just stating facts, that's all."

"He's been grown-up since I was born," Darren grumbled.

"Hi, Uncle Damien," Corey stood and walked over. "I'm your nephew, Corey. Nice to meet you."

"Oh, so you're little Corey?" Damien looked him over. "Well, you seem athletic enough. Do you know anything of how to fight?"

"I'm pretty good with a wooden staff," Corey replied. "That's the only weapon Dad'll let me have..."

"Can't really afford anything else," Darren said.

"Anyway," Corey continued, "how about I show you what I've got? Outside, I mean."

"What say you, Mother?" Damien looked over to Laura.

"I insist on supervising, so no one gets seriously hurt," Laura stood up. "There are some light spears in the weapons room that should serve well enough for you, Corey."

"Bleh, count me out," Rosette stood up. "I totally can't stand the sight of people getting hurt, especially cute boys. Excuse me, please." She promptly exited the room, Damien shaking his head.

"Well, I'm going to watch," Neptune asserted.

"Very well, let us go then," Damien agreed, he and the others leaving...

*Outside Courtyard*

A few minutes later, Damien and Corey were clashing their spears against each other, Lady Laura standing off to the side as referee, while Neptune and Darren were watching from a slightly further distance, the former leaning against the wall while the latter sat in a lawn chair.

"Hii-yah!" Corey yelled as his spear clashing against his opponent's, only for Damien to suddenly change direction and use his spear to sweep the blond's feet from under him, knocking on his butt!

"Hold!" Laura called out with an outstretched hand.

"You're too aggressive," Damien critiqued, "as expected of foolish youth. You must know when to press your advantage, and when to back off."

"I'm not done yet!" Corey grunted as he righted himself, holding his spear in a defensive position. "Come at me, Uncle!"

"As you wish," Damien smirked, before charging in with swift strikes that Corey was barely able to defend against, forcing him back... but then Corey managed to sidestep, lashing out with a low kick that hit Damien in the shin, the warrior barely stopping his nephew's follow-up strike to the head! "Don't get cocky because you scored a glancing blow!"

"Damn, that usually works," Corey grunted in frustration, breaking away before going for another high strike, Damien swiftly ducking before slamming the side of his spear into Corey's stomach! "Oooooggh...!" The boy dropped his weapon and keeled over, holding his stomach...

"Hold!" Laura called again. "I believe this fight is over."

"Corey! Are you okay?!" Darren ran up to his fallen son, kneeling at his side. "Dammit, I should've said something sooner..."

"Is your stomach such a weak spot?" Damien shook his head. "A Cobblemeyer should be tougher than that!"

"My son has a stomach condition," Darren shot back. "He can only eat certain kinds of foods or he throws up. There's medicine that helps with it, but it's very expensive..."

"I'm fine...!" Corey grunted. "I'm not gonna blow chunks, I promise...!"

"...I see. Well, I suppose I can't disparage you for something you have little control over," Damien shrugged. "But if you mean to walk the path of the warrior, you should at least wear armor to cover up such a glaring weakness."

"I would... if I could afford it..." Corey groaned as he managed to get to a sitting position. "Grandma, do have anything like that, that could fit me?"

"I suppose we can take a look later," Laura nodded.

"Well, let me say this: you're obviously still wet behind the ears, but you do have potential. I myself have honed my skill for well over a century, so don't be discouraged by losing to one such as myself." Damien then looked over to Neptune. "Now then... what was your name again?"

"Neptune."

"Right. I noticed you seemed to be following our spar with the eyes of an experienced warrior. Perhaps you wish to test yourself against an elite of the Cobblemeyer clan?"

"You don't have to," Darren cut in. "He's always been a bit of a blood knight..."

"I don't recall asking for your input, little brother."

"Nah, it's fine," Neptune smiled, before summoning a sheathed katana. "This won't be the first dragon I've nepped up! You okay with that, Lady Laura?"

"...Very well, I will permit it," Laura nodded. "As long as you both remember this is a contest of skill and nothing more."

"Of course, Mother." So Darren helped his son stand and walk away a few feet, while Neptune strode up and drew her sword, taking a fighting stance. "I will stay with my current weapon for now, if that's all right."

"No prob! Let's do this!" Neptune nodded with a determined smile.

"And... Begin!" Laura said with a chopping motion, the two combatants immediately clashing! Jumping back, Neptune managed to parry each of Damien's strikes, before side-stepping a thrust, then using the spear as a temporary platform to jump and kick Damien in the face!

"Whoa!" Corey gasped in awe. Damien quickly spun away, using his spear to deflect the follow-up, then going for a diagonal slash which was parried. He then thrust several times with rapid speed, Neptune easily dodging and parrying every strike! "Wow, she's good!"

"I'm not just good, I'm the best!" Neptune exclaimed, going on the attack, Damien holding his spear in a defensive position... "Critical Edge!" She struck with an upward and downward slash, finishing with a slice that chopped Damien's spear in half!

"Hold!" Laura called out.

Damien appeared shocked for a moment as he regarded the two pieces of his spear, but quickly regained his composure. "...I see. Clearly I underestimated you." Tossing the two halves aside, he drew his short sword from his waist. "Well then, shall we continue?"

"So it's a sword duel now? I'm game!" Neptune agreed, taking her stance once more.

"Very well... Begin!" Laura called. This time it was Neptune who found herself on the defensive, being forced back as she barely managed to parry her opponent's slashes and slices!

"Looks like Damien's finally gotten serious," Darren observed. "I don't usually see him this aggressive except with Roland."

"Sir Roland... he's considered a living legend, right?" Corey said.

"Yes, but Damien's not far behind," his father replied. "That Miss Neptune is able to hold her own at all is impressive..."

"Argh!" Neptune grunted as she finally managed to break off, sweat beading on her face. "You think you're so hot?! Let's see how you handle this! Cross Combination!" She struck with two running slashes, then a quick jumping slice, then a quick upward and downward slash, before jumping into the air and coming down with a final downward slash, Damien gritting his teeth from the effort needed to parry the strike with out going to his knees... but once the momentum dissipated, he struck with a high kick that knocked Neptune head over heels, her katana falling out of her reach!

"Hold!" Laura held out her hand. "This fight is over, Damien is the victor."

"As expected," her son smirked, sheathing his blade. "That said, you actually made me break a sweat... that doesn't happen often with outsiders. But now you see the might of the Cobblemeyer clan!"

"Yeah, yeah... don't gloat," Neptune groaned as she sat back up. But suddenly, a high-pitched scream was heard from inside!

"ROSETTE!" Laura and Darren cried, the group scrambling to get back inside...

*Rosette's Room*

"Argh!" Damien cried as he plowed into an invisible force. "A magic barrier!"

"Stand back!" Laura ordered, putting her hand up to the barrier, muttering something under her breath... soon the barrier dissipated in a show of sparkles, Damien promptly kicking the door open-

- to see a hole that had been blown through the outer wall, a car seen speeding off past the steel fence! "She's been kidnapped!" Corey cried in disbelief.

"Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have said things were peaceful here!" Neptune groaned with her head bowed.

"But what about that guard at the gate?" Corey asked.

"Guard?" Laura and Damien repeated, confused. "We don't have a guard!" Damien spoke alone.

Darren's eyes went wide at this, before suddenly letting loose with a string of profanities as he punched the wall in frustration! "Of course Mother doesn't have a guard! She never had one when I lived here! He must've been a lookout for the kidnappers...!"

"Well, to be fair, it has been a few decades since you last visited," Damien allowed.

"Hey, I think there's a note here!" Corey bent down, picking up a piece of paper off the floor. "Let's see... 'To Lady Cobblemeyer: bring 500,000 G to this address! Come alone or your granddaughter pays the price!'"

"A ransom note?" Neptune said. "Something seems stinky about this to me! And I don't mean the cigarette smoke, either!"

"You're right," Laura nodded grimly. "This is too well planned to be a simple ransom. The money is a ruse to lure me out specifically."

"But who would be foolish enough to target you, Mother?" Damien asked.

"I can think of one person," Laura responded. "Austin Jackson."

"Austin Jackson?! The senator who was arrested for corruption last year?" Darren recalled.

"Oh yeah, you went undercover and exposed him, right? I heard about that on TV," Corey pointed out.

"Oh, yes. You should have seen the look on his face when I revealed myself and exposed him in front of the entire legislature!" Laura gave a sinister smirk. "He was stripped of his position and put on trial... but his lawyers got him off on a technicality."

"So it's revenge," Damien stated grimly. "So what will we do? He wouldn't lure you out if he didn't think he was prepared to deal with you..."

"There's a difference between thinking you're ready and actually being ready, when it comes to yours truly," Laura sniffed. "If this fool think he can outwit one who has lived for over 1,000 years, he has another thing coming..."

"What about me?" Neptune cut in. "This Jackson guy has no idea about me! I bet I've got a few tricks he hasn't seen before!"

"Oh? And what abilities do you possess, outside your skill with the blade?" Damien inquired skeptically.

Neptune just gave a knowing grin in response...

*To be continued...*