A/N: Hey guys! We hope you're enjoying the fanfic so far. This will be the last chapter until the week of July 24th as Tharsi greysloverx and myself AbsentiaCastle are finally meeting for the first time next week :D

We appreciated the continuous support and reviews from you guys!

Chapter 13

Kate stayed in the shower for an excessive amount of time thinking about the events of the day. After she had gone through with the usual shower routine she sat on the tiled floor and let the warm water rain over her, almost as though washing away the emotional turmoil. There was no rush to get out, no concept of time. But she didn't care. The day had been chaotic; from Castle coming back, to being shot at, to realising Castle may have feelings for her.

But she couldn't understand why she had lost her cool and run out onto the street. It was a huge overreaction to something that really wasn't that big a deal. He was just trying to save them both from a slew of awkwardness by admitting that he wasn't cut out for meaningless hook-ups. She could respect that, so why the meltdown?

She reached up from the floor and turned the dial of the shower, the running water coming to a stop. Careful as not to slip, Kate stood up and stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a towel around her body, then a smaller one in her hair. The sight of herself in the mirror stopped her in her tracks.

The reflection was of an exhausted woman with dark circles under her eyes. If she were in her own bathroom right now she would reach for some moisturising eye cream, but she didn't have that luxury here. Unfortunately, her skin was going to have to be naturally bare.

Castle had been slaving away in the kitchen since she had got into the shower. Looking at how much progress he had made in the lines of dinner made her aware of just how long she had been in the shower. The vegetables were prepped, the steaks were marinating and a bottle of wine sat on the counter.

"Steaks, huh?" she said watching him as he poured oil on the pan.

"Hey," he smiled. "Uh, yeah. I guess the NYPD did a little grocery shopping on our behalf before we got here." He increased the temperature of the ring. "I gotta say this is the nicest safehouse I've ever been in."

"And exactly how many safehouses have you been in?"

"More than I'd care to admit," he chuckled. "The NYPD must really like you."

"I'm pretty sure Roy is responsible for all this." Kate grabbed the corkscrew and began opening the wine. "This is a pretty lavish meal for someone under house arrest."

"Hey, don't look at me so sceptically," Castle laughed. "I didn't plan this." He carefully placed the two steaks on the searing hot pan.

Once the cork popped from the bottle Kate grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and poured them both a drink.

"You know I shouldn't," Castle said after she offered him a mug.

"Think of it as a celebration of life." Once he had taken the wine she toasted, "To not getting killed today."

"And hopefully not tomorrow either," Castle added.

"Morbid, but cheers," Kate chuckled, clinking mugs with him. She waited in silence for a moment hoping he would start a new conversation. But when he didn't Kate knew it was time to address the elephant in the room. "Look, Castle… about our conversation earlier…"

"You don't have to worry about it."

"No, I do," she insisted. "I wanted to apologise for how I reacted. It was stupid and overdramatic and it almost got us both killed."

"Us getting shot at had absolutely nothing to do with how you reacted. I freaked you out by saying some things I shouldn't have."

"No, it's just…," Kate sighed. "You opened my eyes to what actually happened between us and I felt somewhat guilty."

"Guilty?" Castle repeated. "Kate, you have nothing to feel guilty about. I may have panicked about what happened between us but I don't regret it one bit." He could see she was unsure of how to reply so in an attempt to make her smile he added, "Under different circumstances, it definitely would've happened more than once."

It worked. She coyly hid her smile from him by directing it to the ground. That hard-act persona she had put on when they first met was merely a vision from the past. To him, getting to experience her like this was his idea of heaven. Knowing she was now comfortable enough around him to be this vulnerable enlightened a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

"Oh! I almost forgot." He flipped the steaks and then scurried towards the door. "I grabbed you some things from your apartment after I was done giving a statement." He picked up a duffel bag and handed it to her. "Just a few essentials."

For a moment, worry washed over her. "Does that mean you went through my underwear drawer?"

"No!" he laughed. "Well, yeah! Those are essentials but I promise it wasn't in a creepy way." He sighed and shook his head. "Just open it."

Kate looked at him with a slight sense of distrust before unzipping the bag. Inside were clothing items she frequently wore, her comfortable leisure clothes. The thought that Castle had spent enough time with her to notice what clothes she favoured showed her exactly how thoughtful he was.

"Thank you, Castle. That's really sweet." She pushed the clothes aside to see what else was inside. "You packed some of my books too?"

"Just the ones that looked like they've been read a dozen times," he told her. "All Rick Rodgers I noticed."

When Kate looked back into the bag she noticed a larger book at the bottom. "What's this?" she asked taking out the A4 booklet.

"It's Rodgers' new book. I got you an advanced copy."

Astonished, Kate asked, "How did you even get this?"

"I know people who know people."

Kate knew that Castle didn't know the whole story behind her fascination with Rick Rodgers' books, how could he? She hadn't told him. But somehow he had known that they were significant enough for her to find comfort in during a time of distress.

"Thank you," Kate said smiling at the book in her hands. "Really. You have no idea how much this means to me."

She looked up only to meet his eyes staring back at her affectionately. "And I hope one day you'll tell me."

Castle made his way back to the kitchen to finish making their dinner while Kate stared at the book in her hands. The memories of her time spent with her dad at their cabin soon after Johanna's death seemed like a lifetime ago but in other ways, it all seemed so recent. So raw. As if it were only yesterday.

After their meal, Kate made her way out to the porch where she settled in a hanging chair. Looking out to where the trees stood earlier that evening, everywhere was now pitch black. It was barely eight p.m. but the intense tree coverage of the secluded area made it seem a lot later than it actually was.

"Hey," came a voice behind her. "You okay?"

Startled, Kate said, "Jeez! You scared me." Smiling at Castle she assured him she wasn't mad at him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Do you want company or would you rather be alone?" he asked.

"Be my guest."

Castle joined her on the swinging chair with his laptop, causing it to start swaying. They sat together enjoying the serenity of the silence. It was much different than the city. No car horns, no sirens, just the sound of the wind and wildlife.

"You know, aside from the fact that people are trying to kill me this would be really relaxing."

"Hey. You're safe out here, I promise," Castle said reassuringly. "Your only threat out here is bears, and that's not in my job description."

"So you'd just let them eat me?" Kate said pretending to be offended.

"Survival of the fittest, I'm afraid. Besides isn't saving you once today enough?" he joked.

"I'm so sorry. I hadn't realised how much of a burden I was to you," she chuckled. Silence fell over them once again. She watched as he began to type on his laptop. "A sudden wave of inspiration?"

"You could say that."

She watched as he typed what looked like a manuscript. "They're a gateway to a world of comfort," she blurted. Going off of Castle's confused look, she continued. "Rodgers' books. I started reading them in college soon after I lost my mom. It was… confusing for me at the time. Coming to terms with something like that isn't easy and reading those books somehow made it easier. They were an escape."

Castle stared at her in admiration. This was the first time she had trusted him with something so deeply personal. "You didn't have to tell me that…," he said afraid he had pushed her. "But I'm glad you did."

"I know… I just wanted you to know how much your gesture means to me."

He could see the sincerity in her eyes and hear it in her voice. The way she was looking at him, it felt almost as if she were taunting him to make a move. There was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to reach out and gently touch her cheek. To lean in slowly and press his lips softly against hers. It was perfect… in theory.

But he knew he couldn't. It had been an emotionally draining day and they were both on a rollercoaster of emotions. Besides, he felt like he had already overstepped earlier today when he practically told her he had feelings for her. Not only that but then when they were sat on the bed and he rested his hand on top of hers, and again when he brushed a strand of hair from her face.

She has to know by now, he thought to himself. She has to have realised this has gone beyond a one-night stand for me. I pretty much confessed to her at her apartment, but she fled. If that is any indication, how am I supposed to feel knowing she doesn't feel the same way?

"Is that a manuscript?" Kate asked, quickly changing the subject. "You're writing a book?"

"Oh… yeah," his eyes darting back to the laptop screen. "It's early stages yet but I thought it could be a fun little project to keep me occupied on jobs like this."

"What's it about?"

"Now if I told you that it would ruin the surprise!"

"What surprise?"

"You do know the definition of a surprise, right?" he chuckled. "But I can assure you that once it's finished you'll be the first to read it."

"Well, in that case, I can wait." The most adorable subtle smile appeared on her lips. "And who knows, Castle! If it gets published it could end up being one of my comfort books."

"I don't know, I'd hardly say I'm as skilled a writer as Rick Rodgers."

She didn't catch his coy smile but simply chuckled and closed her eyes, once again enjoying the silence of the surrounding area. He took his eyes away from the screen to appreciate her for a moment. There was something about the way she looked in the porch light of the cabin. She looked peaceful. He was so enthralled by her; there was no way he was going to be able to keep his hands and his feelings to himself much longer.

He pulled his eyes away before she could catch him staring and went back to writing.