Simon was being released from the hospital today, and Maia's mind was going round in circles, but it wasn't so much Simon's coming home that was the problem. Maia was more than glad that her friend was well enough to leave 24 hour medical supervision. No, the problem was which house he was coming home to, and who might tag along. Maia was worried that Jordan would show up at her place to visit his friend. The real difficulties of her friend and ex-boyfriend having a relationship independent of her had only recently dawned on Maia.
She knew Simon and Jordan had been out at a bar when Simon had been hurt, but not much else. The last time she'd seen Jordan, she'd yelled at him for cutting his parents out of his life just for her sake. It was beyond stupid, Jordan's ignoring his family. They weren't even together anyway, so how could it possibly still matter? If only Jordan would make up with his mom and dad, maybe Maia would stop feeling guilty. After all, it really was all her fault. She simply wasn't worth his never speaking to his parents again. Oh how had their situation gotten so messed up? Then again, it wasn't like she had any say or any claim to Jordan. Why did she care so much that he was ruining his future for her sake? That was his choice to make, was it not? And it wasn't even for her sake so much as because he was to stubborn to see that it no longer mattered. Yep, her fault.
With a sigh, Maia banged her head down on the desk. She was sitting in a corner of the library, books lined up on the shelf past her head on the left, and a collection of assorted chairs on her right. It was her favourite spot, with natural light coming in from behind the desk, while being isolated enough to avoid the distractions of the main library. But today none of this was helping. Maia had been sitting here - trying and failing - to focus on her homework for the last hour. Oh, why was her mind going round and round in circles when it was meant to be standing still? Why?
With a deep exhale, Maia reminded herself that boys didn't matter. Dating didn't matter. What mattered was school, and getting away from her parents. Maia had to focus.
Taking yet another deep breath, she lifted up her head and forced herself to look at her econ paper. Yes, okay this was working. Add one more sentence here, then another there. If she got through this, she could sulk all night for all it mattered. One step at a time. Focus. Don't think about anything but the homework. Supply and demand. If the supply can meet the demand then… maybe she could do more to help Jordan with his parents. Like, she could contact them directly, and tell them where Jordan was. Then Jordan would be forced to confront them, and the relationship could be repaired; or would Jordan just get pissed and make everything worse?
Urg! Her head hit her text book this time. Maia still wasn't focusing on her homework. Lifting her head, Maia stared at the hated book she'd just tried to use as a pillow and read the definition again. Supply and Demand: the amount of a commodity, product, or service available and the desire of buyers for it, considered as factors regulating its price. Yes, that was what mattered right now, not boys.
"Focus Maia!" she said out loud trying to collect her thoughts. If anyone in the library heard her, they paid no attention.
She continued reading the relevant pages, and it seemed to help quiet her circling mind. Maia managed to finish the last few paragraphs of her homework before finally calling it a day, packing up her stuff, and heading home.
Now that she had nothing to distract her, Maia's mind jumped right back into its whirl of disfunction. Aside from the one fight they'd had recently, and the singular conversation before it, Maia hadn't seen much of Jordan since the start of the school year. Last year they'd been meeting almost weekly for study dates… sessions. Yes, definitely study session. There had been no dates involved. It was a silly word, and it meant nothing.
Even so, Maia couldn't help but feel like Jordan didn't want to keep doing that. She couldn't quite put her finger on what exactly it was that made her think this. Maia had enjoyed texting Jordan over the summer, but since school had started, things had been different and she didn't quite know why. Since the first time she'd seen Jordan stalking her in the halls, Maia had sensed no change in him from before. That is until now. Something had changed, and if she was being perfectly honest with herself, she wasn't happy about it.
Her troubled and conflicted thoughts carried her all the way home. Maia barely took the time to notice the crisp fall air, or the beautiful way the October leaves collected over the dying grass.
Maia opened her front door, and was instantly greeted by the sound of a television. She recognized the show as one of Izzy's favourites. Still wrapped up in her thoughts and assuming her roommate was watching tv alone, Maia waved hello without looking over, then disappeared into her bedroom where she collapsed onto her bed, covering her face with her hands.
Her stupid brain would not shut up!
As she took in the darkness behind her eyelids, Maia tried to empty her mind to clear it of all noise and confusion.
"I am the master of my own thoughts," Maia said to herself, then repeated the phrase inside her mind over and over again until it finally sunk in. This was a technique she'd used before, repeating a phrase to occupy her mind, and stop it from running a muck. It was a coping mechanism she'd developed with her family. It went well with breathing exercises, thinking only of how her lungs filled with air through her nose, and then emptied through her mouth as she commanded. The combined effect was enough to calm Maia's anxious mind, a welcome relief.
Just as Maia was enjoying her minds new found stillness, her peace was rudely interrupted by voices coming from past her bedroom door. Curious despite herself, Maia got up and went to investigate. When she entered the living room, she instantly realized the inaccuracy of her earlier assumption. Izzy was in fact not watching television alone.
"I thought the hospital wasn't releasing you until tomorrow," Maia said by way of greeting.
"Hello to you too," Simon chuckled.
"Sorry," Maia sighed, sitting down in a chair opposite the two snuggled up on the couch. "My head is all over the place today."
"I have recently learned that snuggles are great for a bad head space," Izzy giggled. Maia did a double take. Izzy looked so different. It wasn't like she'd changed her beauty routine or fashion sense, but more like she was lighter. That dark storm cloud that Maia had become accustomed to seeing over her roommates head seemed to be gone. Maia had to confess, it was quite something to watch. One of Simon's arms was still in a sling, but otherwise he looked quite well. His good arm was wrapped around Izzy's shoulders, and they both looked very comfortable to be there. If she hadn't seen it with her own two eyes, Maia wasn't sure if she'd believe it. I don't need a mad Izzy cuddled up on the couch like a lovestruck teenager.
"I'm thirsty," Simon told Izzy sweetly. "Would you mind getting me something to drink?"
"Sure!" Izzy said, and just like that, she was up and headed to the kitchen. Again, if Maia hadn't just witnessed that, she'd had laughed off the very idea of Isabelle getting something for someone else.
"Oh, wow," Maia gasped, once Izzy was out of earshot in the kitchen.
"I know right," Simon sniggered. "I bet this lasts only as long as I'm in a sling, and then I'll be the one getting up for her." But Simon didn't seem upset by the idea. In fact, he was gazing after her, a dopy look on his face.
"Hey there, Mr. Rose-Tinted-Glasses," Maia said, waving her hand in front of his face. "This is Isabelle Lightwood we are talking about, you know that right."
"The one and only," Simon replied, clearly missing her point, but Maia didn't get a chance to explain it further to him as Izzy reappeared a second later.
"Here you go, sweetie," Izzy said, returning with a glass in her hand.
"Sweetie?" Simon chuckled.
"Okay yeah, maybe not," Izzy confessed. "Thought I'd try it out."
"You're cute," Simon told her, reaching out to pull her down for a kiss before taking his glass from her hands.
"And don't you ever forget it," Izzy said firmly as she returned to her place by his side.
"I think I might throw up," Maia groaned.
"Do you want to finish the episode with us?" Simon asked, ignoring her words and taking a sip of his drink. Maia agreed as she couldn't claim to be doing anything else of importance at the moment. The show was set in the late 1800s and seemed to be about business, love, property, and politics. The main character was a man named Ross Poldark, and Maia found herself quite easily pulled into it.
"I really don't like that Elizabeth character," Izzy said when the credits rolled. "She's just so fickle. One fiance dies she switches, he comes back not so dead, and she's like well… maybe I'll stick with the less risky option, rather than marry the man I supposably loved so very much just a few months ago."
"I think being a women in the 19th century would suck," Maia commented. "I can't really blame her for wanting an easy life." She paused to start listing things off on her fingers. "No birth control. No tampons, now that would suck. Not to mention wearing corsets all the time, and chamber pots." Maia shivered. "I would rather be broke in the 21st century, than rich in the 19th. At least poor people here have plumbing."
"All excellent points," Simon commented. "Though, honestly my issues would be lack of internet. I don't think I can live without my wifi."
"Oh, that too!" Maia agreed.
"I don't think it would be so bad," Izzy commented. "So long as you were rich in those days. You'd have a ladies maid to handle all the gross work."
"No hot showers," Maia reminded her.
"Good point," Izzy chuckled. "I take it back." Just then they all heard a phone go off, and all automatically reaching for their phones. Maia couldn't help smiling at how well their phones had them trained as she noticed it wasn't hers that had received the message. Looking up, she saw Simon reading off his cell.
"Clary wants to come say hi," Simon said. "That okay?"
"I suppose," Izzy sighed, though she didn't look happy about it. Simon turned to face her, making her look at him before reaching up to stroke her cheek.
"I dumped her remember," Simon added with a smile, looking right into his girlfriend's eyes. "Over a year ago."
"Yes, but only because she went and fallen for someone else," Izzy reminded him.
"If I hadn't been so stubborn, I would have dumped her years before that," Simon said. "She is just my friend, besides she's bringing Jace." Maia couldn't help but laugh at how happy Izzy looked that Jace was coming along as well.
"I suppose that's alright then," Izzy conceded.
"You really aren't going to let your girlfriend tell you who you can and can't be friends with, are you Simon?" Maia asked incredulously. Maia liked Izzy as a friend, but she couldn't help but be wary of Simon dating her. Maia was waiting for the penny to drop, waiting for Izzy to hurt Simon.
"Of course not," Simon said. "But that doesn't mean I can't be considerate."
"So if I told you to never see Clary again…" Izzy said, leaving it hanging.
"I'd tell you that isn't possible," Simon replied. "We've been friends since we were toddlers."
"Right answer," Maia replied abruptly before Izzy spoke. She wasn't sure if it was because of her parents, or even her brother, but something in Maia hated giving in, being so dependent on another person you'd give them anything no matter what. She was glad Simon was standing his ground.
"This whole relationship business is odd," Izzy commented. "I just want to grab ahold of you, and not let another woman within ten feet of you." With that, Izzy leaned over and wrapped both her arms around Simon's chest.
"Rib still mending," Simon whined.
"Oh, sorry," Izzy said sheepishly as she let him go, looking ashamed of her forgetfulness.
"It's alright," Simon told her. "And that's what people call being possessive, Iz. It's part of an exclusive relationship."
"I didn't have anything against Clary before," Izzy whined. Simon just laughed slightly then leaned over to kiss her.
"You're cute when you're jealous," he told her. "Even if you're jealousy is totally and completely misplaced."
"You're mine," Izzy said with a giggle, more gently putting an arm around her boyfriend than before. "She isn't to have you."
Simon laughed more deeply, with real humor. "You've had more of me than she ever did," he said, chuckling.
"Good," Izzy stated firmly. "Then text your friend back."
Maia watched as Simon typed on his phone for a moment, presumably telling Clary to come over. Then Izzy started the next episode. They were about half way through it when they were joined by Jace and Clary. Turning to look, Maia saw Clary with Jace slightly behind. Someone paused the episode and everyone exchanged greetings. Then Clace came and sat down with them.
"Must you call yourselves that?" Maia whined, now the only single person in a room full of couples.
"Blame her," Jace said, pointing to Clary. "She started it."
"It's just that the words Magnus and Alec merge into one so easily," Clary defended herself. "I had to use it to bug Magnus, and then… well, I was on a roll."
"Maybe bring that roll to a screeching halt," Maia offered. Everyone laughed, but no one actually took her advice.
"Do we get a name too?" Izzy asked eagerly.
"If you want one," Clary replied, to which Izzy nodded fervently. "Hmmm….Simon and Izzy," Clary continued thoughtfully. "Sizzy."
"I like it," Izzy said at once. "It's mostly my name with just a little extra." Simon's bark of laughter quickly turned to the whole group breaking out into giggles.
"I think that about sums us up, doesn't it," Simon chuckled.
"Don't sell yourself short my friend," Jace added.
"Should I be a lot extra, then?" Simon remarked. "Simizzy." Even for their strange couple ship names, this word was ridiculous, and soon everyone was laughing far too hard to speak.
"Look at all of us," Maia said once she could. "All we need is for me to get back with Jordan, and we'd be in triple date territory."
"And if we add Malec," Izzy said, still chuckling. "Then it would be quadruple dating."
"Malec, Clace, Sizzy and-" Clary began. "And Jaia."
"Now Jordan's just a little extra," Izzy giggled.
"Are we leaving Tessa, Will, and Jem out of this?" Jace asked, but Maia wasn't listening anymore. She was watching Simon. Everyone in the room was laughing, except for him.
"Oh, I don't know how to ship those three together," Clary complained. "I mean Wessa and Jessa works fine, but if I understand their relationship right, I need all three names in it."
"That's true," Jace added thoughtfully.
"What's up?" Maia asked Simon, ignoring Clace's chatter.
"I'm not sure I'm supposed to tell you this," Simon said slowly. "But I'd rather you find out here from me than see for yourself."
"What's going on Simon?" Maia said wearily. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that Simon was about to explain why her mind had been off all day.
"Jordan's... well he's," Simon started. "The night I got hit by the car he met someone at the bar, and it seems like they've hit it off. He's been texting me."
"Oh," Maia said calmly, willing herself not to show any signs of distress. "Well that's good then. Thanks for telling me." Simon smiled kindly at her, and Maia turned away. Without realizing it, she slipped on the mask she wore so often at home, the one that kept her parents in the dark and allowed her to act the part in a social setting while her mind was miles away.
So Jordan had moved on. Rationally Maia knew this would happen eventually if she kept saying no to him. She'd even been thinking this morning about it, but knowing that he might one day move on, and knowing for sure he had were two very different things. The grief of it suddenly hit her like a punch to the gut. Jordan would never be hers again. Never kiss her, never hold her, never tell her he cared, ever again. It was strange. After all, she'd all but yelled that at him more than once. This shouldn't be a surprise. This was what she wanted, right?
In a moment of clarity, Maia realized why she was so surprised. She'd never once believe he'd listen to her, never once thought her pushing him away would actually move him. In some small part of her mind, Maia must have felt sure that if she ever changed her mind, Jordan would be there waiting for her. But what did that say about her? Stringing a good man along forever was a horrible thing to do. No, this was just shock and it would pass. Maia was happy for Jordan.
Raise your hand if you're feeling the Jaia angst. ^_^
I've come to realize that my timeline additions are confusing people. They are currently chapter 55 and 100, but I've decided that if enough of you ask me to do I'll delete them. If not I'll leave them. Up to you guys.
Sometimes, it feels to me like this story is getting kinda dull... it's like there is just less going on than before though that might all be in my head. Do please tell me if this story goes on for so long that it gets boring. I try and keep things interesting for you guys but sometimes it seems like I just have filler chapter after filler chapter with no real plot. I really value reader feedback and just remember that you have the power to greatly influence this story if you just talk to me. If it's getting boring and you tell me so I will make an extra effort to create some more interesting plots!
If I keep updating this slow the Christmas chapters might actually line up with Christmas for once! lol. Before I was updating this SO fast I never had a hope of matching up holiday chapters with actual real life holidays. This is very strange. ;D
Sneak Peek Chapter 108
With Simon deep in new relationship mode, and Alec overwhelmed with wedding planning, Jace often found himself lacking for guy friends. Jordan was around but they were more friends of friends than friends themselves and he was usually hanging out with Paige. This might have been why Jace was so on alert for the door. He was expecting Clary home any minute. Hearing the ding, Jace jumped up and had the door open as she was walking in.
"Oh um hi," Clary said with a slight laugh, clearing being surprised by his presence right at the door. "Have you been waiting at the door for me?"
"If I have does that make me pathetic?" Jace asked before kissing her hello.
Clary chuckled then said, "Maybe a little."
"Exams are soon and I have so much work to do," Jace began. "But I don't wanna and everyone else is busy."
"Oh no you poor thing," Clary teased him. Jace was having none of this teasing nonsense so he just rolled his eyes at her and pretended like he was indifferent to his lack of company.