She was beautiful, her eyes a smokey grey, and her skin slightly tanned. She was wearing a very light pink lip gloss today, her hair worn was long, cascading down her back in waves. Her roots were darker, lightening a few inches down as if she hadn't dyed her roots in a while. Though she carried herself like a woman who knew she was pretty, there was no arrogance about her. Despite her obvious beauty, it was her kindness that made her more beautiful. Even-tempered and good natured, she smiled easily. He liked the way her eyes looked when she smiled.
Jordan was currently sitting on his couch, mug in hand watching Paige clean his kitchen. It was strange how happy she looked doing it, humming to herself as she worked. He'd tried so many times to tell her she didn't have to clean their mess the first time she'd visited his apartment and spontaneously started doing the dishes. Jordan had explained over and over again that it wasn't her job, but Paige hadn't listened.
"I find it oddly relaxing," she'd replied with a shrug.
"But you shouldn't have to clean up other people's mess," Jordan continued.
"I don't know," Paige reassured him. "I find it's a great way to make a good impression."
"Can't argue with you there," Jordan chuckled. "I think my roommates would rather live with you than me."
"Oh no," Paige had smiled at him. "I'm sure they like having you around more than you realize."
"Nah, Clary wanted Simon to stay here," Jordan explained. "I just tagged alone."
"You're too hard on yourself," Paige had scolded him as Jordan had known she would. He'd come to expect things like this from her. If anyone ever said something negative about themselves, she'd disagree without a second thought.
It was easy being with Paige. She was so hard to anger, light spirited, and found joy in helping others. Jordan couldn't imagine ever fighting with her the way he'd fought with Maia, so why was he holding back?
Jordan knew he'd always had hope that one day he'd get Maia back since basically the moment they'd broken up. He'd followed her to this school with that same hope in mind. The hope had survived, despite her saying over and over that it wouldn't happen. Maybe a part of him had believed that once he'd told her what really happened during their break up everything would just magically go back to the way it had been, naive and foolish though the notion was. Low and behold, Maia had rejected him once again, even going so far as being upset that he'd broken away from the people who'd ripped them apart. Of course she had a point that these people were his parents, and with him and Maia split, there really was no purpose in the distance he'd created, but Jordan just couldn't think of his parents the same way now that he knew how little they valued his happiness.
The first time Jordan had felt the absence of that childish hope was after his last fight with Maia that had lead to his trip to the bar with Simon. Only then had Jordan finally admitted to himself that it was over. That ever present flickering flame of hope had fizzled out, leaving him cold and empty. Jordan hadn't intended to do more that night than drown his sorrows, but Paige had surprised him. Maybe that was why Jordan had felt so guilty when he'd learned of Simon's accident. Rather than making sure his friend got home alright, Jordan had spent the whole night with Paige. She was the first women he'd been with since Maia - the only one apart from Maia - but that wasn't what had endeared her to him. Paige was someone Jordan could really talk to. She listened to him in a way Maia never had, so why was he sitting here thinking about Maia?
"You've got that look in your eyes again," Paige's voice broke past his thoughts. "What ya thinking about?"
Jordan blinked, and realized she'd stopped washing dishes and had turned around to face him, moving closer. She was wearing dark blue dish gloves that were still slick with soap.
"Just life," Jordan replied. "Life is a strange beast."
"I thought you were going to tell me off for cleaning again," Paige teased, leaning over to kiss him while holding her wet gloved hands behind her back.
"Oh no, I have quite given up on that by now," Jordan chuckled.
"Good," Paige smiled at him. Jordan was getting used to the way she smiled, how the emotion always seemed to reach her eyes. She turned and headed back into the kitchen to finish herself imposed task.
It amazed him how different Paige and Maia were. Paige's every emotion showed on her face, while Maia could hide a world of feelings behind a mask of pleasantries. Maia was quick to fight back like a snapping turtle, while Paige felt more like an Otter, content to clean her fur all day long before playing in the sea.
He and Paige had been going out less than a month, and already he'd begun looking forward to seeing her. Did this mean it was possible to get over your first love? Or was he just splitting his heart down the middle for the sake of not being alone? She was so wonderful, but was it fair to her to be with her? If he could offer her nothing but wasted time, should he string her along to try and heal his own heart? Paige and Jordan were opposites, while he and Maia had been so similar. But then again, maybe that was the problem. If opposites attract, then sames repel.
"There, all done," Paige said walking back over without her gloves this time. Jordan could hear the water draining from the sink as she sat down beside him. "There's a show I've been meaning to make you watch. I think you'll love it."
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Jordan asked, suddenly. He wasn't sure what made him say it. They were acting like it already, but if he didn't ask the question, Jordan was sure he'd never be able to call her that. Until now, Jordan had told his roommates that he and Paige were seeing each other. He'd told Simon that he'd met someone, but never once had he used the word girlfriend.
Maia and him had been all spark and no permanence. He'd tried everything he could, poured his heart out more than once, and done his best to win her back, but it had failed, and it was time to move on. Paige was real. She was here beside him, smiling at him the way she did.
"Aren't I already, silly?" she asked.
"I suppose," he said, with a sigh. "It's just I've only ever used that word for one person before, and that didn't exactly end well."
"Yeah you told me," Paige said. "Maia right?" Jordan nodded. It hadn't felt right carrying a torch for someone while being with someone else, so before they'd even left the bar that night, Jordan had told Paige about his ex girlfriend. Or maybe that was how Jordan choose to think about it. In reality, he might have still been a little drunk and wanted some sympathy.
"Well I can't say any of my exes would be happy to see me," Paige continued. "And by exes, I literally mean two, and only if you count five weeks is high school as a relationship." She leaned closer, compassion in her eyes. "Ending something rarely ends well."
"My friend Simon managed it," Jordan replied. "He used to date Clary, and they managed to stay friends."
"There's always exceptions," Paige told him kindly. "That doesn't mean you should feel bad about it."
"You're right of course," Jordan told her, leaning over to kiss her briefly.
"If you need an answer to your very obvious question," Paige said grinning at him. "It's yes."
"Thanks," Jordan chuckled.
"You're adorable," Paige replied. "With your heart on your sleeve like that. It's why I was staring at you at the bar you know."
"That night my heart was seriously shattered," Jordan remarked. "How you saw anything you liked amazes me."
"I'm a very good judge of character," Paige replied.
Just then the door opened and they both turned to look. It was a rather open concept apartment, with the front door in full view of the living room, though Paige wouldn't have been able to see who'd just entered if she'd still been in the kitchen doing dishes.
"Hello all!" It was Clary's voice, and she looked thrilled. "And hello Paige, does this mean I don't have any dishes to wash?"
"Indeed it does," Paige laughed. "Why this household makes such a big deal out of such a small thing I don't understand."
"You have to marry her," Clary ordered Jordan. "I simply can't go back to the way it was."
Jordan groaned, covering his face with his hands and praying to whatever non-existent deity he didn't worship that Clary stopped talking. Jordan couldn't say he was surprised when his prayers went unanswered.
"Let's see," Clary said thoughtfully as she moved closer, dropping her school bag as she did so. "We all have ship names around here so…."
"Might be a little early for that," Jordan tried to tell her.
Clary ignored him and continued. "Umm… Paidan, no, Jorge, no because that just sounds like george… umm… Maybe something shorter like Jore or Jige. Oh, you guys are tricky!"
"How about pain," Jordan added. "As in, you are a pain in the-" Clary just stuck her tongue out at him.
"Apart from already being a word that would make a horrible couple name, that is mostly her name with just the last letter of yours at the end," Clary told him firmly. "Hardly feels like equal representation."
"Clace is mostly your name with the end of Jace's tacted on," Jordan reminded her. "Sizzy is mostly Izzy's name with Simon's S at the start."
"Yes, but a started letter holds more weight," Clary explained as Jordan's mind turned her out. He couldn't help imagining what Maia would do if Clary tried to merge their names together. He could almost picture Maia as a cat sharpening her claws, getting ready to pounce on the offending roommate.
"Your friends funny," Paige told him as Clary left to get started on some homework.
"Roommate," Jordan corrected.
"Nah, she's your friend," Paige disagreed. "Just roommates don't take the time to tease you. Trust me, I've had lots of only roommates."
"I blame Simon," Jordan chuckled.
After that, Jordan put on a movie, and they were about half way through it when Jace arrived home. Thankfully he didn't feel the need to tease them, and simply joined them on the couch to watch the sequel. As the hour grew later, all members of the household retired. Jordan had to admit it was nice sleeping beside Paige. She was warm and comforting; it was so much nicer than sleeping alone.
Thanks to Paige's early class schedule, Jordan did wake alone, though he had plans to meet up with his girlfriend that afternoon in the cafeteria. It still felt strange, even using the word in his head. His girlfriend who wasn't Maia. Jordan could only hope that with time, that strange feeling of his girlfriend not being Maia would fade. He felt like maybe if he hadn't held out hope for so long that they'd get back together, maybe it would already feel normal for another woman to hold the title.
It was days like today that Jordan was really glad school was easy. He couldn't really focus in class. Instead, Jordan ended up texting Simon.
'You were hung up on Maia for a long time,' Simon confronted him. 'It's only natural.'
'Does it feel weird that you have a girlfriend who isn't Clary?' Jordan texted back.
'No,' Simon typed. 'But my situation is a little different. Not only have Clary and I been broken up longer, but we never really had chemistry or that spark like you and Maia did. And I wanted more with Izzy long before I got it. Changes things.'
'I suppose,' Jordan replied, sighing as he typed.
'Time heals all my friend,' Simon texted back with a happy face emoji.
'Thanks,' Jordan replied actually smiling which surprised him.
'Aren't you in class?' Simon asked. 'And shouldn't be texting?'
'Yes, but this is my programming class,' Jordan explained. 'And I know all this shit already.'
'Why take the class then?' Simon asked.
'I need it to grad,' Jordan texted. 'It's the difference between saying you know computers and having a piece of paper to prove it.'
'Fair enough,' Simon replied. After that Jordan wasn't sure what to say, so he tried to turn his attention back towards the lecture. The problem was that second year computer science courses were super boring. As long as he had a textbook, Jordan didn't really need the teacher, except to mark his homework and exams. He knew he was lucky being able to just read a text book once and know it, but to him it was just normal. His favourite thing was when the textbooks had been turned into audio files and he could listen to them on 2x speed.
Class finally ended, and Jordan packed up before leaving to meet up with his girlfriend for lunch. Maybe using the word more would help him deal with the life altering meaning of it.
Paige had chosen the same spot as usual, so it was easy to find her once he'd arrived in the cafeteria. Jordan ordered calamari for lunch, then went to sit with her. He would have ordered her lunch too, but she already had a plate of fries with a grilled sandwich in front of her. As Paige told him about her morning, Jordan tried to listen, and for the most part successed, that is until he spotted Maia. She'd walked in through the doors on the other side of the large open space full of tables. The cafeteria here was very centralized and accessible from multiple points. Paige couldn't see Maia, and Jordan tried not to let the fact he'd noticed her show on his face as he nodding along to whatever Paige was saying.
Turning his eyes away, Jordan focused on Paige's face, but his mind wasn't so responsible. His thoughts idly wondering if Maia cared at all that he was with Paige. He knew he'd never learn how Maia was feeling from just her face, having first hand experience at how well that woman knows how to hide her emotions behind a mask. Then again, if she did care, why the hell hadn't she done something about it at any point during the last year and a half! The only explanation was that she didn't care.
This had to end. Jordan couldn't be thinking about Maia while he was sitting here with his girlfriend who wasn't Maia. As of right now, Jordan would put Maia out of his thoughts for real. He would be fair to Paige, and give this a real chance.
I know I have been threatening to add Jordan POV for a while... and well it looks like I finally had enough ideas to warrant an entire chapter! I do hope I'm not confusing people with so many povs... I just love different povs. I have always felt like using just one pov is like looking through a story through a key hole. You get such a narrow view. I head is always jumping around imagining what every character is thinking so why not write it down that way right?
Also I seem to be hovering at about 340 follows for this story. I gain one, then lose one, back and forth, but never really move forward. So if you read this story regularly, but haven't hit the follow button yet, please please do it! It would be so great to see that number actually move. Like a few days ago, I was at 345, and today I'm at 344, and I'm sure in the next few days it will be back at 345, and then go down once again. It's really quite odd, like I'm losing readers at the same rate that I'm gaining them.
Sneak Peek Chapter 110
"Hey," Izzy said with a wave. There was a startled noise and a frantic scuffling before Maia called 'hey' back. Curious Izzy walked over. Maia's eyes were red, her face blotchy. If the women had worn mascara Izzy was sure it would be running down her face. Izzy noticed a bit of white poking out from under the couch and concluded that Maia had tried to hide her tissues.
"If you need to cry, cry," Izzy said, kindly. "Don't be ashamed."
"I'm not," Maia mumbled.
"Then why hide the evidence?" Izzy asked. Maia said something under her breath that was clearly not meant to be heard.
"Sometimes life sucks and you just gotta let it out," Izzy said brightly.
"Don't sound so happy," Maia whined.
"Can't do that," Izzy replied. "Might get to have sex with my boyfriend tonight."
"Woho," Maia said in monotone with so little enthusiasm it was borderline friendship abuse.