Jace had lost track of the toddler. Her crawling skills were quite a bit better than he'd remembered, and she fit into all the small places he couldn't see. The living room looked a little like it had been torn apart by thieves, and yet there was no toddler to be found, and Jace was starting to panic. Maybe babysitting hadn't been the best idea ever.

"Come out Lucie," Jace pleaded. "I have to take you home in an hour!" He heard a giggle and shuffling sound, but it must of echoed, because he didn't find her in the direction of the noise.

Just then, Jace heard the door opening, and turned hoping desperately for reinforcements. To his great relief, he saw Paige standing in his doorway.

"What on earth happened here?" she asked smiling.

"Babysitting," Jace stated very seriously. Paige closed the door behind her quickly, and Jace sensed she had some experience with kids in the way she did it, as if blocking the toddler's escape.

"As someone with four younger siblings," Paige began. "I know a thing or two. I'm sure we can find her."

"You're a lifesaver," Jace sighed in relief. "I don't think she wants to go home."

Paige smiled at him. "At least that means she likes being here with you."

"I suppose," Jace replied. "But if I can't return her, I doubt her parents would agree."

"Nah," Paige chuckled. "I'm sure her parents need the break. As long as she's in one piece, they'll ask again."

"Does anything rattle you?" Jace laughed as the two of them started searching together, listening for any noises they themselves weren't making.

"Plenty of things," Paige replied. "Just not adorable children, or dirty kitchens."

Working together, they made their way searching the smallest places in the apartment for Jace's little cousin once removed. They eventually found her hiding at the bottom of the basket of clean towels in the bathroom.

"Aha!" Jace exclaimed as he moved the towels aside and scooped her up into his arms. He'd been sure he'd searched here already, and suspected Lucie had been switching hiding places on him.

"No," Lucie objected. "No."

"Not, no Lucie," Jace explained. "Yes. Yes, home to mommy now."

"No," Lucie repeated. Jace sighed, holding her securely in his arms.

"Daddy is gonna be here to pick you up soon," Jace explained.

"No," Lucie said again. It seemed to be her favourite word.

"Good luck with that," Paige chuckled.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Jace said turning to her. "You didn't come here just to help me round up a toddler."

"No," Paige said. "Jordan was suppose to meet me here, but it seems he's lost track of time. We're going to see a movie. But where's Clary? She's missing out on the adorable baby."

"Clary's in class," Jace explained. "And I doubt she feels like she's missing anything. Clary doesn't want kids."

"Oh," Paige said suddenly. "Well, I can't say I understand that. I've known I wanted kids since I was thirteen.

"That's very decisive of you," Jace replied. "May I ask why?"

"I was babysitting for friends of my parents," Paige began. "And their little son, he must of been about 5 months old then, fell asleep in my arms with all his little fingers curled around one of mine. It isn't a feeling that's easy to describe, but in that moment I just knew."

"I know you two just started dating, but have you talked to Jordan about it?" Jace asked.

"In general," Paige replied. "I'm not very subtle about loving kids. I don't think he's for or against, and I'm not crazy you know. I don't want kids right now or anything."

"Fair enough," Jace laughed.

"Besides, I've never really found someone I could picture the future with before now," Paige explained. "Jordan's special. I admire his loyalty, even if it was misplaced."

"I know what you mean," Jace smiled. "About the special part anyway."

"It sounds to me like you're giving up kids for Clary," Paige replied. "It takes a very special love to do that."

Just then the door opened, and they both turned to see Jordan walk in the front door. He was stomping his feet to get the snow off on the mat as Paige walked over to him.

"I'll be ten minutes, huh?" she smirked at him.

"Sorry," Jordan mumbled. "I lost track of time."

"Oh no, really," she chuckled. "I hadn't guessed."

"I promise to make it up to you," Jordan replied, wrapping his arms around her to kiss her lightly, even before he took off his coat.

"And how do you intend to do that?" Paige asked, smiling up at him.

"Umm," Jordan stated. "No idea. What do you want?"

"Let's see," Paige began, obviously teasing him, though Jace was sure Jordan was unaware of this face. "How about eternal servitude." For a moment, Jordan just stood there looking a little startled, then Paige laughed and added, "I'm kidding silly."

"Oh," Jordan replied, smiling.

"How about I pick the movie?" Paige smiled at him. "We will have to see a later showing though."

"I thought you were already picking the movie?" Jordan replied. Paige's answering chuckle was drown out by Lucie's demands for attention. She was wriggling and - there wasn't another word for it - squawking in his arms.

"Let's do something about the lunch still on your face before daddy picks you up, shall we?" Jace told the grumpy toddler.

"No," Lucie objected, but Jace ignored her protests, walking over to the bathroom for a warm face cloth, toddler in hand.

When he returned with a clean, but grumpy little girl, Paige and Jordan had already left, likely to go see that movie.

Jace put Lucie in her play pen, and didn't look away even once until his doorbell rang. He had to look away to get the door, but thankfully when he turned around, Lucie was still there.

"Nervous you'd lost her?" Will asked as he walked inside.

"Maybe," Jace said cautiously. "She's either magic or I'm an idiot."

"Oh," Will said looking at the play pen itself, rather than his daughter. "I forgot to tell you she's figured out how to get out of her portable playpen, this one anyway. Sorry."

"Well at least I'm not an idiot," Jace laughed, feeling a bit better now he knew it was totally his fault.

"Thanks for watching her," Will said as he walked and lifted Lucie into his arms. Lucie was having none of it however, she had turned her head away from her father looking sulky.

"I'm not sure if her dislike of going home is a good thing or not," Will laughed. "At least she likes visiting you."

"I suppose," Jace said, as he moved forward to try and collapse the playpen. In the end, he gave up and held the baby so Will could skillfully fold the metal bars back into its carrying bag.

"Alright little rugrat," Will addressed his daughter. "Home time."

"Mm-mm," Lucie said shaking her head with great energy.

"You just love saying no don't you?" Jace laughed. Lucie responded with her favourite word, but in the end, she went home with her father, and Jace collapsed on the couch. He'd have to tidy up the giant mess babysitting had caused, but that could wait. For now, he wanted to sit and enjoy the peace and quiet of no toddlers present.

His phone disturbed his peace as it went off. With a groan, Jace leaned forward to check the message.

'Hey, do you mind if I come over?' Alec's text read.

'Since when do I mind you being here?' Jace replied easily. 'Didn't we used to live together?'

'Yeah and you snored,' Alec typed back with a laughing emoji. 'See you soon then.'

Jace chucked his phone on the couch beside him, and tried to get up the willpower to move. It took a while, but with a great effort, Jace stood up and began putting his home back together. By the time he had all the major furniture he'd moved to look for Lucie back where it went, he heard a knock at the door.

"Hey," Alec said as he entered. Jace waved, but didn't speak. He was tired. How toddler's had so much energy, he had no idea.

"Come sit," Jace said, gesturing to the couch. And Alec sat, looking a little nervous which confused Jace. "What's up?"

"It's just that- well I'm not really sure what the friend edicate is here," Alec began. "I mean I'm friends with you and with Clary so…"

"Just spit it out," Jace simled. "I mean you came all this way."

"Something's up with Clary."

"And by that you mean?" Jace asked.

"She came over the other day," Alec explained. "A little frazzled and asked me a rather strange question." Jace raised an eyebrow expecting more. "She asked what I would do if I had to choose between my own dreams and Magnus, but it felt like she wanted to know for her. I don't know what it means, but I thought you should know."

"I see," Jace said sitting up. "Thanks for telling me." Then just like that, Alec stood up. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah," Alec said. "Sorry. I didn't want to wait too long to tell you, so I fit it in between things."

"After you're married, will I see more, or less of you?" Jace asked, genuinely curious.

"More I hope," Alec sighed. "We'll hang out on the weekend okay?"

"Sounds good," Jace replied, and Alec walked out the front door leaving Jace not quite sure what to think. That was a rather strange question, but it wasn't like it really explained anything. Since they got home from the holidays, he had noticed Clary had been a little… maybe reserved, but it had been so subtle. Jace hadn't even realized it until listening to Alec.

For the fifth time that afternoon, someone came in through Jace's front door. He turned, and this time it was Clary. Jace couldn't help but smile when he saw her. She was carrying what looked like a large banner.

"What's that for?" Jace asked walking towards her.

"Simon," she said. "It's his last physio appointment today. No more sling!"

She was grinning as she kissed him, jumping a little to reach. Rather than let her fly away, Jace wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss.

"Does this mean we are expecting guests?" Jace asked.

"Yes," Clary said. "Izzy and Simon are coming here after his last appointment, and I think Simon invited a few other people too." With that, Clary walked over to the mantle and started putting up her banner. It looked homemade, like it was quickly put together. Of course, homemade and quickly put together by Clary, the art major, was better than most, as far as Jace was concerned, and he told her as much.

"I don't know," Clary sighed, as she took a step back from the mantle, probably checking to see if she'd put it up straight. "I wanted to buy one so it was nicer, but 'Congrats on completing your physio theory' doesn't seem to be a popular banner type."

"I'm sure Simon will love it," Jace said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. Clary leaned back into him.

"So Alec came over today," Jace said softly after a few moments of silence. "Said you asked him a rather odd question."

"Knew I should have asked Magnus," Clary grumbled. "Tattletale."

Jace turned her in his arms so he could see her face. "What's going on Clary?"

"I will tell you," Clary said firmly. "Just not now. I need to sort a few things out first."

"Isn't the whole point of being together, to sort things out together?" Jace asked.

"It's just-" she started again. "I'm still wrapping my head around-"

Gently, Jace made her look up at him before he spoke. "How bad is it?"

"It's not bad," Clary said quickly, but Jace didn't buy it. There was a break in her voice he didn't trust.

"Just tell me what's going on," Jace said firmly. "Before I start panicking."

"There's this fellowship," Clary said slowly. "Everyone in my art class was entered automatically, so it isn't like I planned to- I mean it was just me and one other student that qualified."

"Complete sentences Clary," Jace reminded her, his anxiety rising. What could possibly be going on? How could a 'fellowship' be creating the distress he now saw in his girlfriend's expression? Surely, a fellowship was a good thing, like his scholarship.

"There's this program," Clary explained. "You have to qualify, and I never thought I would. Anyway, the students who qualify get the opportunity to do their 4th year… well umm… abroad." Her voice had been trailing off, but now it got louder, as if she was trying to disguise the meaning of her last word. "Studying under real painters, sculptures, and designers with actual experience earning a living with their skills. My professor says it can even lead to job opportunities down the line."

"This is really important to you isn't it?" Jace said calmly, his whole body suddenly numb.

"Yeah," Clary mumbled. "But I haven't decided yet, and I don't have to until the end of January." She paused, and he didn't speak. "It's just such an amazing experience to have."

"I can understand that," Jace said calmly. "But apart for a year." The words felt toxic in his mouth. "My scholarship wouldn't let me follow you." Clary hung her head, looking deflated.

"Yeah," she said. "That's why I've been putting off saying anything. I know long distance is like cancer to a relationship, and most couples end up breaking up even if they try to stay together while apart, and I just… I don't want to lose you Jace, but I also really want to do this." She was almost crying now, her eyes glossy with unshed tears even as she looked away from him.

Jace just stood perfectly still with Clary in his arms. She was without a doubt the love of his life, and Jace knew what losing her would do to him, but he also knew what holding her back would do to them. If he was the reason she didn't do something like this, what did that make him? Would she grow to resent him for denying her such an experience? How could she not? Jace didn't understand the drive she had. He had no dreams that eclipsed her.

"Clary," Jace said, slowly. "Will this trip make you happy?"

"Yes," Clary admitted. "But so do you."

"I don't want to be the reason why you miss out on anything in your life," Jace told her gently. "I don't think I could bare it if you came to resent me for it."

"I would never resent-" Clary began, but he cut her off.

"You'd be right to," he continued. "It would be wrong to hold you so close you couldn't fly. I've waited all my life for you Clary. What is one year compared to that?."

"Sure, we can say that now," Clary replied. "But an entire year apart isn't a small thing."

"But it won't be a whole year. I mean, we would see each other at Christmas, right?" Jace said. "So it's really only two semesters, four months, a visit, then four months."

"School semesters there are different," Clary said slowly. "They're a little longer, and I don't know if I'd be able to come home for Christmas."

"Oh," Jace said slowly.

"It's just so expensive to fly there in the first place," Clary said. "And with the 14 hour flight time, it's hard to justify for only a few days."

"Makes sense," Jace said slowly. He felt so deflated. The hope that had flared in his chest as he'd thought of getting through two four month time spans had sputtered out and died.

"That's why I've been so scared," Clary continued. "I can't expect you to wait for me for ten months. The program starts mid August and ends in May." Jace didn't speak, and she continued.

"Maybe mom and dad won't be able to help me with the costs," Clary added quickly, and Jace wondered how defeated his expression looked at the moment to add that frightened edge to her voice. "Then I won't be able to go, and the decision will be made for us."

"I don't have to decide until the end of January," Clary continued. "And I still haven't talked to mom and dad about it. Let's just try not to think about it until I do, okay?" Jace nodded, not really sure what to say.

"I love you," Clary told him with a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I love you too," Jace whispered back her.

Just then, Jace heard the front door of his apartment open and turned to see Izzy and Simon arrive. Simon was smiling from ear to ear, sling free for the first time in months. With one last nervous glance at Jace, Clary turned to greet them. Simon and Izzy weren't really guests, as Simon did technically lived there, but at the moment it felt like they were. Jace felt like he had to smile and act the part, even if he was horrible at it. Jace found himself sitting apart from the group, his mind numb rather than feel the weight of recent events.

"I take it Clary told you then," Simon's voice broke through Jace's stupper.

"I take it she told you first?" Jace replied. He heard Simon sit down beside him, but didn't look up from the ground to face him.

"Yeah," Simon confirmed.

"Fabulous," Jace groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"It was easier for her to tell me," Simon said calmly. "She knows a friendship can survive a year on texts alone. She isn't scared of losing me. She's terrified of losing you."

"I know the feeling," Jace sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, and finally turning to face his girlfriend's best friend.

Simon was smiling. "With that attitude, I'm sure you two could survive just about anything."

"Says the guy I literally stole her from," Jace said with an awkward laugh.

"You gotta let that go buddy," Simon chuckled, slapping him on the back. "Really, you did us a favour in the long run."

"Izzy has really mellowed you out," Jace chuckled.

"Where have you run off to?" Izzy's voice interrupted them as they turned to see her there approaching, her gaze fixed on Simon.

"Speak of the devil," Jace laughed.

"How are we supposed to celebrate your sling-free existence, if you are sulking in the corner with Jace," Izzy said to her boyfriend.

"I wasn't sulking," Simon objected, but he let his girlfriend drag him up by his never injured arm, and back to the main group. Jordan and Paige had arrived home from their movie, turning Simon's sorta get together into an actual party level event. Jace did get up to have something to eat, but otherwise, he remained apart thinking.

If he was sure they'd survive the ten months, than shouldn't Clary go? He knew how much it meant to her, and she'd more than earned it, but what if his faith was misplaced? What if ten months apart shattered them into pieces that couldn't be put back together again?

Since Jace had arrived at this university, it felt like his life had revolved around Clary. His last year of university without his soulmate… it was not a fun prospect. Clary wouldn't be there for his graduation, except maybe on a phone.

In the end, it boiled down to if he could ask her to stay just for him. Somehow he just knew he couldn't. Jace couldn't help but picture a beautiful red bird in flight that is suddenly held down, its wings clipped so it can never leave his side.

A slight thud broke his concentration, and Jace turned to see Maia sitting on the chair beside him that Simon had so recently occupied.

"Friends suck," Maia grumbled.

"I take it you are in just as good a mood as I am then?" Jace sighed.

"Simon invited me to his sorta party thing, and it didn't occur to me until I got here that Jordan and Paige would be here," Maia sighed. "I was just wondering if it would be rude to leave seconds after arriving when I saw you."

"Misery does love company," Jace replied.

"So what storm cloud rained on your parade?" Maia asked.

"Clary's been offered the chance to study abroad," Jace explained. "For ten months."

"Ouch," Maia said, not without sympathy. "That's quite the dilemma indeed. If you ask her to stay just for you, you're a selfish jerk, and if you tell her to go, you are rolling the dice, and not in your favour."

"Pretty much," Jace replied.

"Still, I'd rather be you right now than me," Maia explained, her eyes fixed on Jordan and Paige.

"I thought you didn't want Jordan back," Jace said. He was pretty fuzzy on the details of Maia's life, as she was more Simon's friend than his, but he had picked up a few things.

"It's a long, stupid story, that is totally my fault," Maia stated.

"Then please don't give me any details," Jace sighed. "My own stupid story is really all I can handle at the moment."

"So are you gonna set the bird free, or cage her?" Maia asked.

"Urg, when you put it like that, I really don't have a choice do I?"

"Personally, if I was told no, it would only make me want to do it more, and I'd probably dump the guy and go anyway," Maia observed.

"Somehow I don't find it hard to believe that your bad mood is all your fault," Jace snapped. He hadn't intended to snap, it was just that Maia had struck a nerve.

"In that case, learn from my mistakes," Maia said, more kindly than Jace's response deserved. "Trust her, and she will return to you."

And Jace knew she was right.

Who was ready for some Clace drama? I know I was. Geesh has this story been getting really filler-y lately. Time to fix that! Oh and because I wrote like a spaz last weekend I have the next TWO chapters totally finished and edited. Who wants more? Or of course I could just let them sit on my computer and gather dust? ^_^ hehe

Sneak Peek Chapter 116

"Hey," Alec greeted him before moving aside to let Simon enter. "You'll never guess what they are up to?"

"Watching Poldark?" Simon chuckled.

"Ding ding," Alec said sarcastically. "We have a winner." Then he added in a more cheerful tone. "Though I do much prefer this to before."

"You mean when all they did was yell at each other?" Simon replied.

"Oh no!" Magnus's yelling voice carried across the room. "He isn't really going to- I mean what about his wife?"

"Now they yell at the tv," Alec laughed, turning to join the new friends in the living room.